Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing you hear me!
A/N Today I was shopping for a new calendar today and procured a day-by-day Worst Case Scenario calendar. However in my wanderings I came across a James Bond calendar. I seem to recall that the bad guys in James Bond have the coolest stuff.
Hojo looked at the note clutched in his hands, then out the window to the lights of the city and the sky. Admittedly he was a little perplexed; he hadn't done anything to warrant a threatmantic note tacked to his door. It was also odd that he recognized the handwriting but couldn't place it at all. Besides it was threatmantic, half threatening, and half romantic.
He pushed open the door and looked around the dark room, "hello?"
"Hello, please lie down, take it easy," came a voice that sounded static. A light illuminated a lone bed; it was bright pink with puppy-patterned sheets. He looked at it curiously, he was sleepy, and it was two in the afternoon. Time for him to fulfill the rest of his twenty-two hours of sleep a day. He walked over to the bed and climbed in snuggling under the covers. He reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a picture of Jenova putting it next to him. He kissed it gently, "good night Jenny." With that he rolled over and fell asleep.
The spot where he'd kissed the picture dissolved away and started disintegrating the picture into a little black spot on the pillow. A moment later restraints sprang out of the bed and clamped over Hojo, it rolled him over and the lights came on. They revealed a ballpoint pen pointing over Hojo's head, Hojo however remained asleep.
"What is the secret to the SOLDIER program?" The computer voice demanded.
Hojo let out a snore.
"Where is the Underground Lab?" The voice demanded again more agitated.
Hojo started sleep talking, "ooh Jenova, oh don't stop, ohh… oh!" He started thrashing around attempting to hug himself.
The mysterious person who'd laid the trap twitched, "why are you acting like a creepy perverted old bastard?! Why won't you wake up?! Who is this Jenova?!"
"Oh Jenova…" Hojo groaned in his sleep.
The stranger twitched again, "that's it, I have no idea what I ever saw in you. You see that hovering above you? No of course you don't you're asleep, but it's my newest invention. A highly concentrated beam of superheated energy in the convenient form of a ballpoint pen. And it's going to make you do stuff."
"You expect me to do what?" Hojo muttered kissing the air.
"No Professor Hojo, I expect you to die." The mysterious person shouted slamming the button and brought the laser to life. Within a few moments the beam was slowly traveling from the foot of the bed towards the top. It started between Hojo's legs causing him to jolt before cutting up his stomach through his chest and up through his head. The bed split apart, Hojo's blood started to melt away the bed.
Scarlet sighed, "creepy bastard. Good bye and good riddance."
A/N For Death 99, I'm looking for a few brave volunteers. Just PM me the name you want to go by, any sort of weapon or accessories you want, and a brief description of your personality.
