It's him.

As I stare at him from across the lunch table, I can't help but hear those two words over and over again in my mind. It's him. It's him. It's him.

Simon.

I don't know what I'd expected. Or better said, who. There were so many people who could have been Jacques, yet never had I dared to hope it would have been him. I'd expected it, just never believed it. Now that I know it is Simon, though, it is painstakingly obvious; Simon truly writes the way he speaks.

'We should find Leah a boyfriend, too!'

'No fucking thank you, Abby.'

Leah's voice and her exit brings me out of my musings, making me realize I'm staring at Simon. I avert my gaze, just in time to see Garrett looking at me. I know that look; he has liked Leah for at least a year.

I bite my lip, because I can't look at him. It might make me a really lousy friend, but I've got enough trouble in love of my own.

'If you like her, just ask her out.'

It's Simon who says it, and I can't help but blush. One, because it's Simon. Two, because him suggesting I like Leah is probably the weirdest thing in the whole wide world. If only he knew.

He stares intently at me some more, before casting his glance back to his food. And somehow, this makes the blush disappear in an instant.

The girls had just discussed potential boyfriends for Simon. My name hadn't come up. Now he says he thinks I like girls. Does that mean I'm not even an option in his mind?
And if so, what does that even mean?

Suddenly, the idea that Jacques is Simon doesn't make my stomach flutter with butterflies anymore. How could I ever have thought that he could like me back, anyway? I'm clearly not on his mind the way he is on mine. Why did I expect to be? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

When the bell rings, Simon jumps up and stalks away immediately, leaving us at the lunch table. I try my hardest not to look after him, but I am weak. I look up, just in time to see his back disappear through the great doors leading into the hallway.

A hand clasps over my shoulder. 'Hey, are you alright?'

It is Garrett, looking at me with a sort of concerned glare. He must still be sad about Leah indirectly shooting him down, and how he manages to be concerned for me goes beyond me. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate it though, and I nod, faking a small smile.

Jacques is Simon.

Simon is Jacques.

Me?

I honestly don't know anymore.