Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII, and I Dare to be Different.
A/N If there's one thing I pride myself on, it's my high pain threshold. However even my tolerance has a weakness, and when you live where I do, it's the tongue that'll do you in. My tolerance has a limit and if I can't take it then you know Hojo can't take it. So please give the Executives a cheer! Oh and the dish mentioned below is a local delicacy around here.
Hojo glared at Rufus then back at Reeve and finally around at the assembly of Executives, "what are we doing here?"
"Well Professor we figured since this is the anniversary of the day you started working for Shin-Ra we decided to take you out to dinner," Reeve laughed jovially.
Hojo twitched, "then why not go somewhere nice like a bar or something?"
Heidegger groaned, "for the love of Ifrit we're treating you to dinner, don't push it by being picky."
Hojo sighed and trailed after the group as they went in and sat in the back room, he picked up the menu and looked at it, "isn't there anything decent here?"
"Would you stop being such a whiny little wimp and order," Scarlet rolled her eyes passing off her menu.
Hojo made a face of mockery and ordered, "I'll have the Los Colores."
"Red or green," the waiter asked.
"Um…" Hojo thought for a moment.
"New Years," Rufus barked, the waiter wrote it down and walked away.
Hojo looked over at Rufus confused, "why did you do that?"
"You were taking too long," Rufus replied flicking his hair.
Hojo sighed as they started talking and enjoying themselves, he growled, "alright so what do you call a bee crossed with a bird?"
"Dunno," Palmer obliged sipping his lard topped with tea.
"A chocobee," Hojo replied before bursting out into laughter. The rest of the Executives stared at him silently, he gave another laugh, "come on, a chocobee, it's a chocobo and a bee, a chocobee… oh for the love of Bahamut you're acting like I cut out your sense of humor." The silence at this point was deafening, Hojo glared silently at them.
"Your food," the waiter announced as several people bearing plates entered, they set the platters down and backed away, Hojo saw his food covered in some strange red and green sauce stuff.
"What is this?" he poked it looking at Reeve.
"Chile, it's a native of Cosmo Canyon, it's rather flavorful, particularly the whole fruit," he indicated the small green conical fruit on Hojo's plate.
"How do I eat it?" He asked looking at the Urban Development head.
"Just stick it in your mouth and take a bite," Reeve advised.
Hojo picked up the small item and stuck it in his mouth before pulling and chewing, the reaction was almost instantaneous. There was an old saying among the chile coinsures, the smaller the chile the more potent it was and there was a reason. The flood of the capsaicin in his mouth started his eyes to tear up; his glasses fogged over, his ears turned crimson and broke out in a sweat. He opened his mouth and let out a howl of pain, Reeve giggled slightly, "okay the best thing to do is to eat the red and green sauce, it was made to fight the pain."
Hojo nodded and shoved the sauces into his mouth, not realizing that he was only adding to his pain, because the sauce was a red and green chile sauce, in other words the colors of New Years. He let out a high-pitched sissy scream; Rufus shook his head, "here eat this it'll help." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a jar of wasabi and pickled plums.
The scientist took it and dumped the contents into his mouth chewing and feeling sicker as the fire intensified exponentially. Heidegger shook his head, "someone bring some beer." He grabbed one from the bar and gave it to Hojo, who bellowed as the hops added to the pain, he could feel his whole body sweating and his throat was swelling shut.
Scarlet hastily grabbed Hojo by the pony tail and dumped the pitcher of water down his throat, he felt it swell his throat shut, he couldn't breathe and fell to the ground retching before asphyxiating. Palmer held up some of his cream for his lard, "try this!"
Rufus shook his head, "you're a little late on the uptake there."
A/N If you ever get caught eating spicy food and feel like you're about to end up like Hojo, milk and sour cream will solve it.
