Volition

Later that evening Sally regained consciousness, Sonic was in the room when she awoke.

"Where am I?" Sally asked sitting up in her bed.

"It's your fuckin room, should you be someplace else?" Sonic responded.

"Am I dead?"

"No, if you were dead how could you be talking with me?"

"Is this a dream then?"

"If this was a dream we'd be fucking, well if it was my dream."

"But I thought… I saw…" Sally began sobbing uncontrollably.

"Fuck, not this shit again," Sonic mumbled. "This situation is still completely foreign to me."

"You mean like thinking?" Sally asked between sobs.

"Oh that's funny, very cute," Sonic said, sitting down next to Sally. She quickly began hugging him. "Ah shit," he sighed. "Everything is gonna be cool, don't worry. I just want you to know, if you're going to be crying you'll have to leave."

"You're such an asshole."

"That was nicely put. I'm sure the others want to talk to you, are you ready?"

"Yeah," Sally replied, wiping the tears from her eyes. Sonic left for a minute, then came back with all the Freedom Fighters in tow.

"Are you alright, Auntie Sally?" Tails asked worriedly.

"I'm doing fine, it's nice to see you again Tails," Sally said smiling. "What happened to you, Antoine?" She asked, pointing at the bandages on his head.

"He was on the ass end of an ass kicking," Sonic put in.

"I was being ze fucked up, but I am to be doing better now, no? How is ze princess feeling?"

"Like I told Tails, I'm fine. I was shocked to see Sonic alive, and I'm a little sore, but excellent other than that."

"Oh Sugar, it's great to see you moving and talking again. I was so worried about you," Bunnie said hugging Sally.

"Bunnie's the one who saved ya, mate. She pulled you out right before that vat exploded," Knuckles said.

"It exploded?"

"Yeah, I thought we were proper fucked. That experience was pretty shit house, it'd be nice if I never saw meself in that situation again. Now where's my money?" Knuckles inquired, looking at Rotor.

"What fuckin money?" Sonic asked.

"Rotor started taking bets on if you were going to survive or not," Sally replied.

"Well how big did it get?"

"Goddamn it," Sally moaned, shaking her head.

"50 bucks," Rotor responded.

"That's it, 50 fucking dollars? I'm starting to feel bad about myself now," Sonic sighed.

"Well what did you think you were worth, a million?" Sally asked.

"Ten, ten million."

"Please, you're lucky it made it to 50 bucks. Now I know it kind of got lost in the shuffle, but thank you for saving me Bunnie," Sally said gratefully.

"No problem Hun, I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Hey, if you guys need some personal time, you know to munch the rug…" Sonic was interrupted.

"It's nice to see that a near death experience hasn't changed you at all," Sally acknowledged.

"It looks like you're stuck with this, rotten as hell, bastard for some time. Are you gonna munch that or what?" Sonic asked. As soon as he did, Sally threw one of her boots at his head. "Ow fuck, it's just a joke, or is it?" He asked raising his eyebrow.

"Munch the rug?" Tails asked.

"You keep talking like a bitch, I'm gonna have to smack you like a bitch," Sonic warned.

"I'm starting to get a headache, can we talk tomorrow?" Sally asked, exhausted.

"That's fine, Sugar, I hope you're feeling better tomorrow," Bunnie said hugging Sally again.

"Avert your eyes you perve," Sonic told Antoine who was gazing at Sally and Bunnie.

"But zis… I was ze no…"

"Yeah, yeah, move it along you douchebag."

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In Robotropolis, Robotnik and Snively evacuated to a nearby building, while the nuclear waste drained.

"I can't fucking believe this, all of my careful planning turned to shit. Just how in the fuck did the power shut off? And why did that vat of radiated shit explode?" Robotnik vented as he sat down in a chair.

"I'm not for certain, sir. All I know is that I have to reset the clock on the microwave again," Snively complained.

"Oh fuck that! That's not the issue here. What I really want to know is did we kill the hedgehog, the princess, or that French fuck?"

"Again, sir, I haven't the slightest. I can only assume the hedgehog couldn't survive an exploding nuclear vat, unless…" Snively trailed off.

"Unless what you fucking nitwit?" Robotnik roared.

"Well if he had a Power Ring…"

"Fuck, motherfucking son of a fuck goddamn fucking fucker. That's exactly what happened you worthless fuck. Did you ever confiscate that bag he had?" Robotnik asked. Snively just looked down at his shoes. "Did you even look in it you insignifi-cunt little fuck?"

"I thought… I was… no, sir, I… forgot to do that," Snively sputtered. "Do we have a plan to retaliate?"

"Fuck the Master Fuck Plan…"

"That seems a bit redundant, doesn't it, sir?"

"Don't interrupt me, you filthy fuck bag. I guess it really doesn't matter, does it? Now we have a ton of nuclear shit in our fallout shelter. We might get radiation poisoning, grow two fucking dicks or something. We have to clean this shit up, then and only then, will we be able to focus all of our energy on those assholes. Fuck them for putting me in this situation…"

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The next morning Sally woke up and made her way outside. Everyone was gathered at the benches in the middle of the village. She made her way over to them.

"…and what's with those fucking bobble heads?" Sonic was asking as he imitated one. "What the fuck is that? Fuck that."

"Sounds like you are having a vivid conversation," Sally said, approaching them.

"Hey Hun, how are you feeling today?" Bunnie asked.

"Much better, thank you. So what were we discussing?"

"Sonic was just going on a rant, you know, the usual shit," Rotor replied.

"He's been saying all sorts of funny things, Auntie Sally," Tails said excitedly. "He and Knuckles even told me what munch the rug means."

"You guys are something else entirely."

"Hey Sal, I just wanted to thank you for the boot in the head last night. That was a real fuckin kick ass experience," Sonic stated sarcastically.

"I was merely playing my part," Sally responded. "I'm also glad to see that you are getting along so well with Tails."

"What the fuck? I'm just trying to explain to him why his aunts were playing grabass," Sonic replied.

"You're so witty, but I don't have time for this. What are we going to do about Robotnik?" Sally asked.

"We're going to chamber the cartridge and send that motherfucker packing," Sonic answered.

"Don't be too sure, mate. With all that nuclear waste, radiation, and other bullshit, I don't think it'll be very safe to make a move just yet. Plus, after the hell we've been through the last few weeks, I could sure use a break. No worries, just right."

"Knuckles has some good points, Hun. I'm sure Robotnik is already planning on how to clean up that mess over there. It's not as if he can do anything to us until he's cleaned it up. Ever since we destroyed his fortress, we've had Robotnik by the balls. Anyway, we have had a rough few weeks, I could sure use a little rest, Sugar," Bunnie responded.

"Well, I agree with what you're saying," Rotor put in. "We did hand Robotnik his ass with that exploding vat. Hell, we might have even killed Robotnik in the process, something we haven't even discussed yet. My balls kind of itch…"

"That was just a little random," Sally replied in disgust.

"What in ze fucks is to be wrong with you?" Antoine inquired.

"Never mind. I'm going to agree with Bunnie as well," Sally said. "I'm not feeling a hundred percent, and I could use some rest. I only wish we could have ended him this time."

"Well, you know, we can end up doing something else," Sonic added slyly.

"Will there come a time where you talk about anything but fucking?" Sally questioned.

"Buttfucking?" Tails asked.

"Oh fuck, not this shit again."