:: 10 ::

:: Truth ::

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She kept fidgeting.

Her hands weren't trembling, but she couldn't stop the movement. Strangely enough, she couldn't think of any apparent reason as to why her body was restless. The things that plagued her mind before suddenly disappeared, a soundless emptiness replacing the contents of her mind.

Maybe she was shocked.

In a way, everything that was happening, everything that already happened, and everything that was going to happen, seemed like a shocker. What had surprised her most was how new these feelings were. Reading history books or playing a musical instrument had little effect compared to this. Sophia finally realized that time was moving, and that there was no going back anymore. Whether the colonel decided for her to return to Malkuth or to stay with them until the end; she knew she would never forget.

After all, this was the first time she saw herself fidget.

A choking silence greeted her ears. They had been traveling the Qliphoth for quite some time now, and still, she saw and heard nothing. Not even a casual breeze of wind came to her. Teardrop colored eyes scanned an endless gorge of black and purple, hazy clouds and a huge mass of darkness.

Everything Sophia saw seemed to be dead.

A slick hand caressed the cold metal railings of the Tartarus, distracting her busy hands from moving about. Over and over, Sophia touched the rusty texture of the rail, mentally slapping herself for no apparent reason. She didn't recall doing anything wrong, (if you count out being a complete liability to everyone else) but she couldn't help but mentally slap herself.

It felt strange.

She couldn't think of anything, despite the grave situation they were facing. The depth of her inner mind was like a blank sheet of paper, a little dirty, but otherwise empty.

Like a writer cascading into a serious case of writer's block.

Both hands now clasped the metal rails of the ship. Thankfully, she stopped fidgeting, and instead opted to just grasp the rails as tight as she could manage. The blank piece of paper continued to linger desperately in her mind.

What could she possibly think off that was significant to what was happening? Her hands, now tainted with small brown spots and swipes, stopped touching the rails and dropped back to her sides, gradually. She didn't realize she was consciously stopping herself from thinking.

Luckily, it was partly a good thing that there was nothing she could think of. She would probably just frustrate herself, for many particular reasons she could think off, given the opportunity.

Sophia cursed herself silently for lacking a watch. Maybe it wouldn't help down here, she said to herself. Maybe time does stop in the Qliphoth. It seemed like it did already.

Moments kept passing her by, but she kept still and silent, watching the disappearing and reappearing images of the muddy maritime, absent-minded. Occasionally, the sky would light up with quiet streaks of thunder and lightning, but she soon grew tired of watching it paint the black sky with seconds of light, and went back to watching the sea. Her routine became almost mundane, repeating the cycle of looking up and down like she had done it all her life, as if she had lived in the Qliphoth.

However, a sudden jolt of colors distorted her calm demeanor. Not to be taken literally, of course, but failing to ignore the lights that flashed within her mind, that seemed almost random. She batted her eyelids in rapid succession.

Before her mind could register what happened, the wave of lights faded away into the emptiness, the image of the blank piece of dirty paper replacing the flicker.

Sophia blinked, again.

She gave a small shiver and returned to her view, a little surprised it hadn't changed a bit. Inside, she gave herself a small punch in the arm. The colonel's sarcasm was rubbing off on her.

An eternity returned to her, as she resumed her inspection of the blunt surroundings. Without a warning, though, the lights went back inside her head, like the sun suddenly beaming from a gray and rainy day. This time, Sophia caught the light and kept it inside her psyche. Those teardrop eyes that she grew up with widened.

The paper disappeared from the blinding ray of colors.

Ideas chose the most discerning times to appear. Her fidgeting returned, a pale hand reaching up to touch the side of her face. Now, she knew she wasn't fidgeting, though. This wasn't fidgeting, Sophia was trembling.

She found the will to turn her eyes away from the skies and the sea, and leaned on the metal railings, as she faced the doorway with an uneasy feeling. The lights and colors had fooled her into thinking she was going to be alright again. Instead of bringing back the warmth that used to linger inside, it had revived the heaviness she dreaded, the foreign feeling that loitered in her heart.

Although, she wasn't quite asforeign to the feeling of anxiety before, the recent happenings made the feeling stronger. Her petite hands left the sides of her face, and Sophia tilted her head up, releasing a tired sigh.

Of all the days to be thinking, why did it have to be now?

She closed her eyes, briefly. Without even thinking on it, she walked slowly to the other side of the veranda-like hanger outside the ship, and sat down, for once, exerting little effort in making it graceful.

She was alone, there was no need anymore.

But thinking like that only dragged in the feeling of remorse more than it should. The heaviness swelled up in her chest again, just like when…it fell. She could feel her breathing grow deeper, this wasn't the time to reminisce.

The silence, the darkness, the feeling of alienation, it didn't help.

Sophia cursed out loud, albeit softly. She leaned her head roughly between the bars of the rails, closing her fists and opening them again, in a failing attempt to calm down. She was reminded of the constant shaking of her arms, that that method didn't help anyway, even back then. Sophia frowned.

The memories already linked with why she couldn't think a few minutes ago, (although minutes seemed like forever in the Qliphoth, if she hasn't emphasized it enough.) but she didn't want to recognize its form.

The mind had strange ways of annoying someone with completely bad timing.

After waging a war for a lost cause inside her head, the blonde gave up trying to push the thoughts away, and let out a groan that never left her throat. How could she try and fight it?

Those memories were why she was here. How could she have even half of the guts to forget them?

It was so simple now, now that they all linked and clicked together in place, like a puzzle finding its lost pieces.

Of course, she couldn't think of anything. This was the first time the feeling ever got to her, the feeling of nervousness and heaviness. She couldn't register any coherent thoughts because…this was like a field day for her. An experience that she had never really thought she would encounter, and probably would never have if she went back home.

…it probably never happened to her, the other her, the other half of a piece of the puzzle.

Her arm stretched slightly, to touch the plain white headband that kept some of her sun-tanned hair in place. Her other free hand went to the back of her head, where a small knot kept the headband tied securely. With a swift movement of her wrist, the knot was untangled, and with a quick tug of her other hand forward, the headband fell limply on her palms.

She stared at it, good and hard. Her thumb swept across the silk body in a reiterate manner, a tiny smile that didn't quite reach her eyes suddenly perked up on her face. Bittersweet memories that forged a clay doll into a fake, plastic, porcelain figure. She was such a hypocrite, that porcelain woman, and that had probably been the reason for her smiles.

Closing her eyes, a small tear forming on the edge of her eyelids that lacked momentum to stream down, Sophia embraced the headband as tight as she could, as if it was a person, and gave a choking kind of laugh.

It looked silly, but she wasn't the one to care. It mattered to her, and that was all she needed to remember. Sophia pulled away, and touched the small teardrop with her finger, continually caressing the headband with her thumb. Her speaking voice became croaky, but she whispered nonetheless, certain warmth illuminating the area.

"Odell."

"I've detected an unusually strong fonon signature. It's to the west."

Tear took a step forward, eyeing the front window with certainty. She nodded and replied, "That's probably Yulia City."

With a straight path of light leading the way, Jade maneuvered the wheel expertly, and directed the Tartarus to a lone city floating above the mud, water streaming down the sides of the walls.

Anise gaped in wonder, "Is that…a waterfall?!"

Without looking away from the city, Tear nodded. "Yes. It's sea water from the Outer Lands coming down. The city is inside."

Guy took a step forward, rubbing his chin skeptically as he set his sights on the magnificent sight before them. "Won't the water pressure crush the Tartarus?" he mused.

Tear broke her gaze and walked away, slowly. "Don't worry. The water evaporates near ground." She saw Guy nod as he followed her example and walked towards the exit door. Jade adjusted his glasses, and tightened his grip on the wheel.

"Then here we go."

However, before Guy reached the door, the Necromancer stopped him half-way and pointed outside with a flick of his chin.

"By the way, Guy, please tell Sophia we've arrived at our destination. She's out in the deck."

The headband that she was fondling with a few minutes ago was finally back on its proper pedestal, secured once again with a knot behind her head. Sophia heard the Tartarus stop, and turned to leave with a heaving sigh. However, she was met by Guy, as he opened the door and called her in, casually.

"Sophia, we're at Yulia City now. Let's get down."

She nodded at him and obediently followed Guy inside the main hall of the ship. Without taking a last glance at the view she had grown used to seeing already, Sophia left the deck, her thoughts neatly arranged as if they were never messed up in the first place. She smiled again, when she met up with the colonel and the others, but she couldn't help but hide her hands behind her dress, despite her calmer workings.

No matter what she did, or what she had thought of, her hands continued to tremble.