Hi people! I'm back with a new chapter! I don't have much to say about this chapter, so just go ahead and read it! Hope you enjoy it too!
Bleach does not belong to me.
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Diary of Ichimaru Gin
Seireitei is pretty; that is undeniable. There is a sort of classic Japanese charm to the place i.e. without the dirt, grime and stink of ancient Japan, that makes the place nostalgically beautiful.
Matsumoto Rangiki loved Seireitei. That was also undeniable. Part of the charm of Seireitei was its many charming bars selling plenty of charming classic Japanese sake that could not be found in Rukongai. Thus, Tenth Division fukutaichou Matsumoto Rangiku loved Seireitei with a vengeance only the people of the Eleventh Division could understand.
Yet at the same time, Matsumoto Rangiku hated Seireitei. That might have been because part of Seireitei's classic Japanese charm tended to appear in the form of plenty of classic Japanese paperwork, which for some reason or other, tended to appear specifically on Matsumoto Rangiku's desk.
It wasn't that Matsumoto Rangiku hated paperwork because she was lazy. Oh no, it had nothing to do with that. Matsumoto Rangiku always felt she was a very responsible fukutaichou. Matsumoto Rangiku hated paperwork because it was bad for the environment. Just think of how many trees had to be cut down to make the paper that formed the bulk of the concept of paperwork. Just think of how much stress the intellectual part of paperwork induced in highly-strung, highly-dangerous individuals who might decide to release the tension by having a rowdy brawl that usually results in a lot of destruction to the immediate environment. Just think of how much paperwork destroys the environment and you will understand why Matsumoto Rangiku hated paperwork so much.
Unfortunately, Matsumoto Rangiku had no say in the production of paperwork. Her rank while considered pretty high, was nowhere near high enough for her to speak her mind about issues that are significantly part of Seireitei's culture. Thus, she had to resort to the methods of the downtrodden and repressed.
Boycotting paperwork
No matter how much her taichou might yell at her or threaten her or scowl adorably at her, she would not budge on this matter. She couldn't stop the destruction of the environment, but she could do her part by not taking part in it. Once the signing stops, the paperwork will stop to, she believed. So she would not budge; it was a matter of principle.
"Matsumoto."
With a loud shriek, Matsumoto Rangiku jerked out of her daydream. With another loud shriek, she just managed to get a firm grasp of her assets before they exited from her kimono. "Taichou," she said disapprovingly. "You scared me! My boobs almost managed their grand escape!"
Behind her, Hitsugaya Toshirou, the youngest taichou in the whole of Seireitei's long history frowned menacingly. That was not unusual. All his frowns were menacing. When you have reiatsu that freezes everything within a half-mile radius and one of the most powerful ice zanpakuto around, your frowns tend to be very menacing. Thus, Matsumoto Rangiku managed to remain calm and unfazed (or as calm and unfazed as a woman whose assets have just failed to achieve freedom).
"Your… mammary glands," Hitsugaya Toshirou growled (having still not out-grown the stage where it was gross to say 'breasts', 'boobs' or 'knockers'), "are none of my business."
"You're the first man to say that," Matsumoto Rangiku said solemnly, pulling her kimono over her assets (as far as it will stretch at least).
"I don't care," the mildly annoyed captain said. "You have a package."
"I know," Matsumoto Rangiku said proudly, fondling her assets affectionately.
"I meant," the more than a little annoyed captain growled. "You have a delivery."
"Not yet. Never been pregnant."
"Matsumoto!"
"Just joking!" Matsumot said hurriedly, climbing to her feet. "What is it anyway, this package?"
"I wouldn't know," Hitsugaya said curiously, sliding a tiny brown package out from his sleeve. "It's small. It kind of feels like a book, actually."
"More paperwork?"
"Paperwork doesn't come by the Inter-dimensional Fast Mail."
"Hmm…"
Both Matsumoto Rangiku and Hitsugaya Toshirou peered curiously as the package was swiftly unwrapped.
And a small black book was pulled out.
In actual fact, the book wasn't all that small. It was roughly the size of a grown man's palm (which isn't a very accurate description since grown men's heights differ according to race, genes and nutrition-level, but on the other hand, the size of the book doesn't really matter) The cover of the book was black, pure, matt black, and there were no inscriptions on it.
It looked like the kind of book Death would carry.
"What the…?" Matsumoto wondered, turning the plain book around. "There's nothing on it, taichou!"
"Open it," Hitsugaya replied, having failed to deny the call of the child's nature to poke their noses into anything and everything.
"Okay." Cautiously, Matsumoto Rangiku nudged the book open. And the two of them stared.
"The diary…" Hitsugaya Toshirou choked.
"Of Ichimaru Gin?" Matsumoto squealed, half-appalled that she was holding Ichimaru Gin's diary and half-delighted that she might be able to find something to blackmail the traitorous captain with.
"What on earth…" Hitsugaya gaped, staring blankly at the book. "We should, I mean… shouldn't we… tell… someone?"
"Let's read it first," Matsumoto said quickly. "So when we tell Yamamoto-soutaichou, our report will be more detailed."
Hitsugaya Toshirou swallowed hard. He balanced his Responsibility as a Captain and the his Curiosity as a Child, and gave in to the call of the child's nature. "Okay," he said hoarsely. "Just so our report will be more detailed."
"Yeah… hey, there's a note!"
"What does it say?"
"Dear Rangiku," Matsumoto Rangiku read. "Just an excerpt from my diary to let you know how I'm doing. You might find it interesting. Peace and prosperity, Gin-yo."
"Gin-yo?"
"Long story taichou," Rangiku said solemnly. "Involves two very large coconuts and a very strong throwing-arm."
Hitsugaya Toshirou's mind whirled. By nature, he was a very imaginative child. After all, it takes a lot of imagination to achieve bankai. Matsumoto Rangiku's words conjured a lot of unpleasant images to his mind. There was nothing to be had of that; his mind conjured unpleasant images every five seconds. All he could do now was try to take his mind off the unpleasant images.
"Just read the diary," he scowled. "Let's see what this screwed-up lunatic is doing up in Hueco Mundo."
Diary of Ichimaru Gin (just for you Rangiku – insert cheery wave)
7.30 a.m.
Ok, I am up early today. Usually I sleep till nine at least, but today's different. I've got lots of things to do, and none of them are for the good of Hueco Mundo. Why? Because I am sick of this place! It's so boring! It's all deserts and sand… and I can only do sandcastles so many times before I get bored of them. It took about ten sandcastles for me to realize that even if you alter the towers, the shape of the windows, or even the position of the doors, a sandcastle is essentially still a sandcastle, and that they are boring to build.
If you haven't figured it out yet, last night I had a nightmare about sandcastles.
They tried to eat me.
7.45 a.m.
Note to self: Get Ulquiorra to buy more toothpaste.
Second note to self: Don't get Ulquiorra to buy more toothpaste. The rattling in his head is starting to become annoying.
Third note to self: Get Yami to buy more toothpaste.
7.46 a.m.
I hate peeing in the urn. If I miss, I have to clean up myself. And the urns are tiny. I think we should just use the window instead. It's nice and big. Unfortunately, the window is in the corridor, not in my room, and I have a problem with dropping my pants where anyone might suddenly walk past. Besides, the window opens up to the courtyard where Aizen-sama sometimes holds his propaganda events. Wouldn't really do for an accident to happen now, would it? I like my head on my neck just fine.
On the other hand… it's early and there's no one up yet so…
7.50 a.m.
Woo, I'm a closet exhibitionist!
Hmm… isn't that an oxymoron or something?
7.51 a.m.
Yup, it's an oxymoron.
7.52 a.m.
I've got to hurry if I want to carry out my prank. I always thought Hueco Mundo needed more life. Well… technically we are a bit over-populated with arrancar now, because Aizen-sama is a little… addicted to using Hogyoku. However, arrancar have to be the most boring creatures ever born.
Well… perhaps they are a little better than hollow, who do nothing but float, eat, roar, eat and get killed.
Anyway, my prank...
8.00 a.m.
I went all the way to Aizen-sama's room and woke him up to tell him he had another hour to sleep so he could go back to sleep again. I just couldn't resist it. In hindsight, it's probably fortunate he was so sleepy he thought I was one of those low-level arrancar because once I pull my next prank it wouldn't do for him to remember that I was up earlier than usual today.
I seriously prefer my head on my neck. I think my hair complements my neck.
Now, where's that beer I ordered using Kaname's name?
8.30 a.m.
Ha, that was easier than expected. Aizen-sama obviously does not expect anyone to turn on him since the kitchen had zero guards. And he claims he knows me so well. This should teach him a lesson… though if things go well, he wouldn't know I was the one who did it. Now, I've got to dispose of all the evidence before anyone wakes up.
8.33 a.m.
Damn it all! Why is Ulquiorra up so early? I know he hasn't been sleeping well since that influenza incident (hadn't been quite right in the head either) but still… There is no way I am sneaking past him without him noticing me. My… evidence is a little… obvious, even to one whose head clinks when he moves it.
…
Why is he staring at the garbage disposal area like it is the most beautiful thing on earth?
8.45 a.m.
Ok… that was disturbing. I can't believe Ulquiorra just did that. That had to have caused some sort of imbalance in the Universe or something…
Anyway, I finally got to dispose of the evidence. Now I just need to wait till breakfast to watch the results of my first prank.
9.15 a.m.
I had to convince Aizen-sama and Kaname the odd taste in the food was a new seasoning Inoue-san ordered from the real world. Then I had to convince them I wasn't eating because I was still feeling the flu.
Oh god, this is so worth it.
I've never heard Kaname giggle before.
9.17 a.m.
In hindsight this wasn't such a great idea after all. Drunk arrancar are a very nasty bunch. They are even worse than the Eleventh Divi… oh god, that eyeball almost got me!
Ok, I am going to my room to hide. I don't want any nasty stains on my clothes.
9.18 a.m.
I would go to my room to hide if the corridor wasn't crowded with arrancar eating each other. Oh dear… I seriously hope Aizen-sama never finds out I was the one who sneaked the beer into breakfast. Well… anyway he says as long as the Espada exist, nothing else really matters so…
Oh god… arrancar liver…
I need to puke.
9.19 a.m.
Where's my urn?
9.20 a.m.
Never mind my urn. I settled it by puking out of the window.
Told you windows are more convenient.
9.21 a.m.
Oh dear… I think I eh… hit… Aizen-sama's statue in the courtyard…
Please dear lord high above (whom Aizen-sama says doesn't exist), don't let Aizen-sama discover I was the one who did all this. I've seen the way he looks at that statue. There's some serious love going on between the two of them. I shudder to think what they do together when they are alone.
9.30 a.m.
Thank god arrancar sober up easily. Now the corridors are littered with hung-over arrancar (and little pieces of ex-arrancar). At least they aren't trying to eat each other.
Aizen-sama and Kaname aren't faring as well (or maybe they are faring better, since they are still at that drunk state rather than that post-drunk state), which is just as well, because I doubt they would be very happy with what the palace looks like now.
Now, to carry out the second half of the Breakfast prank.
9.35 a.m.
These are huge. Kaname's so going to freak when he finds them on his bed. I feel sorry for Orihime-chan, but she can go blame Aizen-sama for refusing to let me build that movie theatre so I can watch chick flicks.
9.40 a.m.
Kindly offered to help Kaname back to his room. At the same time, I arranged for Orhime-chan to meet us at his room to ease his hang-over.
The look on their faces when they saw Orihime-chan's lingerie on Kaname's bed was hilarious.
9.41 a.m.
Orihime-chan can pack a really hard punch.
9.42 a.m.
And a really hard kick.
9.43 a.m.
I think Kaname's never going to father a child – not that it's any of my business.
10.00 a.m.
I've been awake for less than five hours and I have managed to pull off three pranks. The beer prank, the bra prank and the pink prank.
Oh, you mean you haven't heard about the pink prank?
It's the one where Orihime-chan's favourite pink pen somehow ended up with the Espada's laundry in the wash, turning all their uniforms pink.
My name is Gin; watch me grin.
Hmm… that was corny.
11.00 a.m.
I was bored so I went and set off all the alarms in the palace. The consequences were… extremely satisfactory.
I've never seen Grimmjaw react like that before. Well… of course he was still nursing a hang-over, and really shouldn't be responding in any way to any alarm… but Grimmjaw wouldn't be Grimmjaw if he didn't do exactly what he shouldn't be doing.
Still, the "Kurosaki Ichi-what-the-hell-are-the-stairs-doing-hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeee… Ow… the fuck…" was pretty funny.
11.15 a.m.
Personally, I seldom think of myself as being discriminatory. That's because I discriminate against everyone equally, which should make me the fairest person in the world. However, I'm starting to suspect I'm being influenced by Aizen-sama's male-chauvinistic tendencies because I think I'm becoming a little sexist lately. No one is going to believe me, but I haven't even played one prank on Orihime-chan yet (the bra one was a prank on Kaname, not Orihime-chan; she was just a tool). Not only that, I haven't even thought about playing a prank on her.
I think I have to go correct that.
11.20
Admittedly, the frog in the bed idea is an extremely over-used idea. It's something that I have done myself several times when I was younger to Rangiku. (I suspect that's the reason why Rangiku is actually less afraid of most spiders, frogs, cockroaches and other creepy-crawlies than her taichou is.) Nonetheless, it is still a very entertaining trick to use.
Unfortunately, I had a little difficulty locating a suitably sized frog/spider/cockroach in Hueco Mundo (the only vaguely frog-like thing I found was a Hollow that was twice the size of Yami, and four times the size of Orihime-chan's bed).
So, I settled for using Aizen-sama's Kyoka Suigetsu instead. (No one knows it but that zanpakuto is so blind it can't tell the difference between one Shinigami and the other. I just have to talk with a nasally-accent and it thinks I'm Aizen-sama.
Anyway, that was the first time I have seen terror turn to surprise and then to glee so quickly.
Apparently, Orihime-chan likes big, slimy leeches.
11.21 a.m.
Someone has to help me persuade Orihime-chan return the 'leech' before Aizen-sama wakes up from his hang-over and realize his zanpakuto is missing.
11.22 a.m.
Help? Anybody?
11.25 a.m.
Help from somebody who doesn't want to eat Orihime-chan?
11.46 a.m.
Thank god I got Kyoka Suigetsu back… though I can't believe I exchanged Shinsou for a 'leech'.
11.47 a.m.
I exchanged Shinsou for a 'leech'.
11.48 a.m.
I want Shinsou back! I miss Shinsou! Give me back my Shinsou! I'm going to cry if Shinsou doesn't return to me! I feel… feel unbalanced without Shinsou! I'm walking with a forty-five degree slant to the right of my backbone without Shinsou! I need it back! Shinsou! I love you! Come back to me!
11.50 a.m.
Wow… apparently crying and throwing a tantrum works on Orihime-chan.
I have to make her promise she wouldn't tell anyone.
11.57 a.m.
Too late, she told Grimmjaw. I'm going to kill him now.
12.01 a.m.
No! Oh no! The filthy arrancar has gotten hold of my baby! Give me back Shinsou! Give it back to me! I want Shinsou! I want Shinsou! I'm going to cry! I'm going to throw a bitch fit! I'm going to… don't you dare dangle Shinsou outside the window, you filthy arrancar! Shinsou's afraid of heights! Give my Shinsou back to me! That's it! You've gone too far! Let me show you how we fight in Rukongai!
12.03 a.m.
Hmm… it kind of looks like Grimmjaw's never going to father a child ever either – not that arrancar can have children or anything like that.
12.04 a.m.
And no, I am not apologizing, Orihime-chan. He touched Shinsou.
12.10 a.m.
I have discovered my greatest weakness. It is women with orange hair and big boobs who are experts at pulling puppy eyes.
With Orihime-chan's help, I have discovered that there are all kinds of pinky stuff in the world. There has been the pinky-promise, the pinky-thank-you, the pinky-please, the pinky-welcome and the pinky-farewell.
Apparently, now there's the pinky-apology.
At least Grimmjaw had to do it as well.
But I think I was the more embarrassed one. I mean, what the hell, that arrancar has baby-blue hair.
12.11 a.m.
There's an unhappy truce between us now. It's the basically the kind of unhappy truce warring men have when forced to do embarrassing things by a happily smiling beautiful woman. (It's incidentally, the same kind of truce women have when faced with "that insensitive, rude, son of a bitch who doesn't love me anymore" man.)
Basically, it's kind of settled unofficially, that if we see each other on the corridors, we will pretend we didn't see each other.
12.12 a.m.
Didn't see him. Didn't see anybody.
12.15 a.m.
Didn't see him. There ain't nobody around but me.
12.17 a.m.
Didn't see him.
12.20 a.m.
Didn't… What the… is he stalking me or something? Is he stalking me? Are you stalking me?
Oh… right, there's only one corridor away from Orihime-chan's room and we're both walking on it. I so totally believe you, zanpakuto-molestor!
12.30 a.m.
Yay! He's gone. Pah! Enough of this thing with Grimmjaw and Orihime-chan. I'm sure I've got better things to do than…
Oh damn it all! I've still got Kyoka Suigetsu with me! Please let Aizen-sama still be asleep! I still have fantasies of having a baby with Rangiku! Don't let Aizen-sama ruin that dream!
12.33 a.m.
Aizen-sama's awake! Fortunately, he's not even coherent. I'll just slip Kyoka Suigetsu gently… gently…
12.34 a.m.
I told Aizen-sama Ulquiorra was the one who took his zanpakuto, and I don't even feel guilty about it.
Ulquiorra has only himself to blame for always being so mean to me.
1.30 p.m.
This day is going so slowly now! It's great I made up all these plans; it's bad no one is sufficiently awake enough to fall victim to them. No one fun at least. I could pull a prank on Ulquiorra, but he's busy being tortured in the torture chambers now!
I know! I'll go down and help them!
1.40 p.m.
Oh god… isn't he supposed to… die when you do that to him? I've never seen a living human… human-shaped thing look like that before… I mean, I have seen dead ones look like that in the Twelfth Division laboratories… but living ones… not even Mayuri can do that.
And he's still conscious… oh my…
1.41 p.m.
He just winked at me! Dear lord, he just winked at me!
And then his eyeball dropped out!
I can't figure out if I'm feeling more homophobic or more disgusted right now… oh look, his eyeball's growing back! That is so cool!
1.54 p.m.
Ok, this is so gross, but I am absolutely fascinated with that thing hanging out of Ulquiorra's… eh… well, hanging out of the hole in his neck. I've never seen one of those before on either a hollow or an arrancar. What is it? It looks like it doesn't have any function at all.
I wonder what would happen if I pulled it.
1.55 p.m.
Oh loving god of mercy! He's head just… it just… it just… oh god… it just…
Did it just do that?
1.56 p.m.
Hmm… this is actually… kind of fun…
I wonder what happens if I pull harder?
1.57 p.m.
Oh lord, I didn't mean to do that! I swear, I didn't! I just pulled a little harder and… oh gross! It's all over my shoes!
Okay, I didn't see anything. I'll just… walk away…
Sorry Ulquiorra. Hopefully someone who knows eh… what part is supposed to go where will come by and… do something… eh… bye.
3.00 p.m.
Look, another sandcastle! I can now add this to the three hundred and thirty-three other sandcastles that I have built ever since I came here.
…
I am so bored…
3.30 p.m.
Aizen-sama and Kaname are awake! Thank the highest lord above for beer. Kaname doesn't even remember the bra incident, which means he's guard isn't up. He is, of course, rather curious about the dull, aching pain in a very… delicate region, but I'm not going to enlighten him.
Instead, I mentioned to Aizen-sama very casually that I had seen the both of them wandering off together after breakfast, and that I was oh so puzzled where they had disappeared off to.
It's hilarious the way they are avoiding each other now.
3.45 p.m.
There has to be a smarter prank I can think of than sneaking chili into the pretty little cupcakes they are serving now. Besides, I've already laced breakfast with beer already, so I should try something else that doesn't involve food.
Hmm…
Ah well, who cares.
Besides, this is definitely a prank I can get away with.
"Oh, I don't think it was an accident Aizen-sama. Maybe Orihime-chan baked those cupcakes!"
Damn, I'm good at this.
3.46 p.m.
Note to self: Avoid eating cupcakes you laced personally with chili even if your victim is coughing, choking and demanding suspiciously why you were the only one who didn't eat the cupcakes, in a very menacing fashion (i.e. with the general brandishing of zanpakuto etc).
Forced enemas without anesthesia have to be better than this.
Hmm… I wonder…
3.50 p.m.
Whoa, I have never seen an arrancar do that before! Is that considered an implosion or an explosion I wonder.
In any case, I now have confirmation. Forced enemas without anesthesia are slightly better than eating cupcakes with chili. Though they both have roughly the same effect on the living body, the effects of a forced enemas are a little more… abundant.
I need to go wash my shoes again.
4.47 p.m.
Aizen-sama asked me where half the arrancar have gone to – specifically, about three quarters of those lower-end arrancar (which, earlier this day, if you still remember, got eaten by the stronger arrancar). I told him they defected to the Shinigami side.
That was an extremely evil and devious thing to do because it almost gave him a heart attack since he had never considered the possibility of Soul Society actually agreeing to endure the existence of the arrancar, if said arrancar promised to help them fight Aizen Sousuke and his Evil Minions.
So sue me; he burst in on me when I was taking a bath, and he didn't even apologise. Now is that rude or what? I have half the mind to set Orihime-chan on him.
4.48 p.m.
Hmm… Orihime-chan huh?
5.13 p.m.
Someone tell me I'm evil for telling Orihime-chan that Aizen-sama feels uncomfortable and needs whatever home-made remedies she has at hand.
Let me hear a, "hell yeah!"
5.56 p.m.
A riot has broken out. Aizen-sama is convinced there a traitor amongst us, one who has spiked the food, stolen the vast majority of his arrancar, and did strange things to Ulquiorra in the torture room.
Right now, wrapped in a pink comfortable and with Orihime-chan shoving ambiguously coloured goo down his throat, he has ordered Kaname and me to locate the traitor.
It's definitely strange how he never ever suspects me when I am up to something.
Must be how cute and innocent I look.
6.04 p.m.
Bad news. Someone has put Ulquiorra together again, and he is now crawling (actually, more like wriggling) on his stomach to Aizen-sama's room to inform him of the identity of the 'traitor' i.e. me.
In fact, he has reached Aizen-sama's room already, and I cannot do anything about it because I am in Aizen-sama's room by Aizen-sama's orders. He has already told me that he wants me to kill the traitor the moment Ulquiorra reveals his identity.
6.05 p.m.
It's a little late now, but I guess I should start writing down my will. I don't have many personal belongings, having left most back in Soul Society. Ok, let's see what I've got. I've got three arrancar suits, which I think I shall send to Ishida Uryuu in the real world just because it's funny. All my black kimonos shall go to… hmm… I don't know… Kira Izuru? He's about the right size for them. And of course, there's my urn. My urn can go to Aizen-sama. It hasn't been emptied today.
And Shinsou goes to Soi Fong because Shinsou has a crush on Suzumebachi. There, now no one can say I don't care about my darling Shinsou. Even if I have to die a virgin, I will not drag you down with me.
6.07 p.m.
There he is, the bane of my existence, Ulquiorra. I think I shall smile at him.
Oh… he's eyes are still missing. Too bad he can't see the way I'm smiling at him now. I've killed cockroaches with this smile of mine.
6.13 p.m.
Ulquiorra has told Aizen-sama the identity of the traitor.
It is, to quote that arrancar, "Someone who disguised himself as Ichimaru-sama."
It's definitely strange how no one suspects me.
6.17 p.m.
Kaname is giving me odd "looks" (he can't really give me a "look" given that he can't "look" by default of him being blind). I think he suspects something.
Right now is probably a good time to casually ask him if the pain in between his legs is still there.
6.19 p.m.
That was funny.
Now is probably a good time to mention the wonders of suggestion. Merely by suggesting that some accident has happened between the two of them during their period of amnesia has led Aizen-sama to believe that he can feel a strange pain in between his legs as well.
I love the power of suggestion.
And look, it's time for dinner! I wonder if I can pull another… nah, too risky.
6.20 p.m.
Oh lovely heavens above! It's unagi for dinner! I am definitely not spoiling dinner because…
Why does the unagi have red bean paste in it?
6.21 p.m.
Oh right… Orihime-chan cooked it…
7.00 p.m.
The amazing traitor strikes again! He had put a fart-cushion on Aizen-sama's throne which went off when Aizen-sama sat down to do his daily propaganda event in front of all the (remaining) arrancar.
And yet again, the power of suggestion kicks in. The moment the cushion went off, the first row of arrancar fainted because they believed that the air was now so foul no living creature should be able to breathe it and still remain conscious.
The moment the first row of arrancar fainted, the other arrancar further from the throne, who were not close enough to hear the cushion immediately jumped to the conclusion that an enemy had attacked Hueco Mundo. A general surveying of the area however, revealed no foreign reiatsu. This then led to the conclusion that dinner had been poisoned (which it was, spoiling good unagi like that…). Groans and moans filled the air as the arrancar collapsed, believing that they were all now dying from a fast acting neuron-toxin.
They are all going to be so embarrassed later.
7.08 p.m.
And I was right.
It's ironic, given that Aizen-sama's speech started with, "My indestructible arrancar…"
Indestructible as they may be, no one is strong enough to withstand an attack by Ichimaru Gin.
8.45 p.m.
Grimmjaw is currently being tortured as part of the interrogation regarding his role in the embarrassment of Aizen-sama and his arrancar. I feel the greatest amount of pity for my scapegoat.
I think I shall go help them torture him.
9.06 p.m.
As part of my running experiment, I went and told Aizen-sama that I was the one who did all those devious and evil pranks to him and his arrancar, and that I was truly sorry for it.
He told me to stop joking around and continue torturing Grimmjaw.
I'm starting to get a complex here.
10.13.p.m.
Grimmjaw has been absolved of all suspicion. That would be because the real traitor decided that it would be really funny to make Kyoka Suigetsu look like Aizen-sama's mutilated corpse and stick it where everyone can see it. Fortunately for Grimmjaw, he was busy being tortured then so no one believes he was involved in it.
I'm so kind, don't you think, to help Grimmjaw clear his name?
10.38 p.m.
The whole place is in an uproar! I'm so excited! I've never had so many excuses in my life to wander into places I'm not really supposed to go into. Wanna know how many times I broke into various arrancar's rooms just for the fun of it?
I've broken into Ulquiorra's room twenty-four times on the excuse of hunting for the traitor in his room. It's funny how he freezes and glares at me every time I burst in pirate-style (you know, brandishing Shinsou and screaming, "I've found you, ya bow-legged, barnacle-chewing, gunpowder-addicted traitor!" in a very menacing fashion).
Personally, I think he's embarrassed about being seen regenerating. It's a very private affair that, regenerating.
I think I shall burst in a few more times.
11.00 a.m.
Aizen-sama has given up. The whole of his palace has been scourged from east to west, north to south… along the x, y and z-axis and so on, but no one can locate the "traitor".
If you ask me, I've say the traitor is currently making himself comfortable in his bed and writing in his diary.
It was so fun today, and I just hope no one ever decides to read my diary.
Hmm…
I should do this again tomorrow.
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Slowly, Matsumoto Rangiku put the diary down and gazed thoughtfully in the air. Opposite her, Hitsugaya Toshirou sat down on the floor and stared at his knees. Then they looked at each other.
"Yamamoto-soutaichou…" Hitsugaya Toshirou said weakly.
"Yama…"
Both of them swallowed. Then they shot to their feet.
"Soutaichou!" Matsumoto shrieked, tearing down the corridors of the division.
"Yamamto-soutaichou!" Hitsugaya screamed, sprinting as fast as he could. "We've done it! We've done it!"
"We've found a way to destroy Aizen Sousuke for good!"
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The third problem with Hueco Mundo: Ichimaru Gin. Ha ha. I love this chapter.
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