Lori looked in the mirror as she straightened her shirt and attempted to fix her messy hair. She shook her head in disbelief at how disheveled she looked from their session on the couch just moments before. "I cannot go home looking like this."
"Who said anything about going home?" John replied, wagging his eyebrows at her as he secured his belt into place.
She turned around and shot him a look, causing him to laugh.
"Ah, I'm just teasing but do you want to come back to my place? You can get cleaned up there," John offered.
Lori shot him another look and John put his hands up innocently.
"Hey, I just meant so you can take a shower, nothing more!"
Lori thought about it for a moment. I certainly can't go home like this. What's one last stop before I head home? We can control ourselves. After all, we just got that out of our system, she thought.
"Okay, but just a shower," she insisted.
"Just a shower."
Lori smiled and then looked down at her phone. Her face dropped upon seeing several missed messages from Mossimo. She hadn't responded to him since their fight earlier. She'd meant to respond, but she was whisked away for interviews and then, well…
"Is everything okay?" John walked over to her, concerned to see her expression change so quickly.
She looked up at him, snapping back to reality. "Yeah, hold on one second."
Lori quickly clicked her group chat with the girls before typing a message.
If anyone asks, we went out for a girls' night.
Lori's phone dinged almost instantly.
Candace: Where are you? I thought you went home.
Jodie: OMG! You told him didn't you? I thought I heard moans coming from his trailer. Get it, giiirl.
Andrea: Ignore them. Just be careful, okay? You can fill us in tomorrow. We've got your back, we promise!
The other two girls agreed and Lori sent a quick text to Mossimo as well.
Sorry, my phone died. We'll discuss what happened earlier when I get home. I'm with the girls. I won't be home until late. I just need some time for myself.
Lori felt guilty for lying to him, but as she pressed send, set her phone down, and John wrapped his arms around her, she knew, after waiting for so many years, that she needed this.
With the media constantly asking about their status and Lori's need to head back home after, Lori and John figured it was best to head to John's condo in separate cars. Lori made sure to follow John's car, leaving an appropriate distance as to not get caught.
As Lori was driving, she couldn't help but remember the text that Mossimo had sent her earlier. He really did love her. She could never dream of such a great man loving her as much as he did. 'How sweet of him…' she remembered the assistant telling her in response to his message. She sighed. She had such genuinely caring, grateful feelings for Mossimo. He meant so much to her. He was the father of her children. He was always there for her when she needed him to be. She loved him.
Yet, why was it that when she was with another man, things just felt so much more right? How come it was a different man that felt like her missing half - the one who made her the happiest, who made her feel things she had never felt before?
Guilt and shame filled her. Never in her life did she imagine she would do what she had just done with John. While married to someone else? She shook her head in disappointment. She could never forgive herself for what she had done. Mossimo was the one she was supposed to be in love with. Mossimo. Her husband.
But… being with John just felt so right. So perfect. So magical.
Lori slapped her hand on the steering wheel in frustration. "Love is so fucking complicated," she mumbled, biting her tears back.
John looked into his rear view mirror and without thinking, flashed a smile when he saw Lori. As they got to a stoplight, John could see his phone on the passenger seat light up with a text. He took a peek at it and realized it was Juliette. Before continuing to drive, he quickly flipped his phone over so the light wouldn't show.
Although John was surely considered to be a ladies man, he had not once betrayed anyone he was with. Part of him felt ashamed for what he had done. He had a lovely woman who wanted to be with him. But deep down, he knew he only kept Juliette in his life so he wouldn't feel completely alone in despair.
Lori. Lori was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
Ten minutes later, John arrived at his condo and a few seconds after, Lori pulled in and parked beside him.
John got out of his car and locked it, waiting for Lori to get out of hers.
"Hey," he murmured as she locked the car.
"Hey you," Lori greeted John before he brought her into his arms. She could feel her heart beat by his simple presence.
John pressed his lips against Lori's. After a moment, he pulled away and grabbed her hand in his. Lori smiled softly as John led her up to his place.
"Should I even bother to tease you and ask how many women you've brought up here?" Lori asked him, "or will it just be completely abhorrent?"
"Well, you're the one exceptional woman I've brought up here," John assured Lori, squeezing her hand and unlocking his door.
As they got into John's master bedroom, Lori was awe-struck by how gorgeous it really was. Although she had been to his place before with the whole cast, she had never gotten a real look at everything.
"The bathroom is over there," John directed Lori, pointing to a door to the left of his king-size bed. He gave her a kiss on her hand before letting go of it.
Lori nodded and went over to the door. As she was opening it, she could hear John's voice from behind her.
"Want me to join you?"
Lori could feel her heart suddenly race. She turned red, frozen in place.
"I'm kidding," John smirked.
Lori went over to John who was sitting at the edge of his bed. She shoved him playfully.
"Shut up," she giggled nervously before scurrying to the bathroom and making sure to lock it behind her.
What am I doing? she thought as she looked in the mirror. As she got in the shower, her mind was spinning.
Lori grabbed John's robe as she got out the shower. She ran her fingers through her hair and scrunched it. Before opening the door, she took the liberty to look around. She opened his medicine cabinet. Condoms. Boxes and boxes of them. She closed the cabinet, disgusted. She really had ruined him. He just bounced from girl to girl and now here she was, standing in John's bathroom, another one of his conquests. She took a deep breath as she opened the door and smiled at John, one hand on the door frame and the other in the pocket of the robe.
"Damn…"
"What? Is something wrong?" Lori asked, a bit nervous.
"You look even hotter after a shower with your hair all wet and wearing absolutely nothing under my robe," John complimented, biting his lip. His back was resting on pillows as he sat up on the bed.
Lori smiled seductively, walking over to him. She pushed him backward onto the bed before climbing on top of him. John smiled and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he looked from her eyes down to her lips. He could feel his heart skip a beat when she pressed her lips against his.
They kissed passionately for a moment before John pulled back slightly, just enough so their foreheads were pressed together.
"You drive me crazy," John breathed, both their faces flushed.
Lori bit her lip sensually in response. She grinned before running her tongue over his lips and passionately kissing him again, swirling her tongue with his and causing John to moan.
When she could feel John eager for more, Lori forced herself to pull away. I hope that shows all those other girls… Lori thought to herself as she moved over to John's side.
His heavy breathing proved her successful.
John looked over at Lori as he tried to catch his breath. He watched as she easily stood up and headed back to the bathroom, before halting at the door.
"Oh shoot, what am I going to wear…" she asked aloud.
"Just go look in my closet," he answered casually, "there's a bag in the corner full of clothes you can wear."
"Ugh, John," she crossed her arms and rolled her eyes at him, "I'm not going to wear clothes that one of your old hookups left."
John caught Lori's eyes again. "I'm kidding, babe." He suddenly pulled out a bag from underneath his bed. "I bought this for you, I hope it's okay."
Lori's eyes widened. "What? When did you…" she started, her voice trailing as she grabbed the bag from him and looked in it. It was a small black dress.
"I bought it for you while you were taking a shower. I hope it's okay," John answered. "Who takes a forty minute shower anyway?"
Lori laughed. It sounded just like something Uncle Jesse would say. She leaned in and gave him another peck on the lips. "You're amazing," she reminded him.
John kissed her nose cutely. "Right back at you, babe."
"And thanks for this," she stated gratefully, holding up the dress. "I'll go get dressed so you aren't enticed. After all, I'm here to take a shower, nothing more. Okay, well, maybe a little cuddling…"
"That's my girl," John smiled, pointing at her. She laughed and shook her head as she went to change.
"Wow, you look… wow," John commented as Lori stepped back into the room. She donned the black dress he'd bought her and her hair was voluminous. One arm against the door frame, as if modeling for him.
"You like it?" she asked modestly.
"I love it," John corrected.
"And I see you used my hair dryer," he teased.
Lori laughed. "The fact you even have a hair dryer is ridiculous."
"Hey, gotta keep this hair nice and dry," he retorted, running his hand through his hair jokingly.
She chuckled as she crawled back in bed.
"I'm just kidding; what's mine is yours. Plus, you look amazing," he told her sweetly, kissing her on the cheek. "Now come here." He pulled her into his arms. "I placed an order for pizza while you were in the shower. What do you say we watch a movie?"
"Sounds good."
Being cuddled in John's arms felt warm, cozy, and secure. Lori watched as John reached for the remote and turned on the television.
"Any preferences?" John asked kindly as he scrolled through Netflix.
"Ooh, what about While You Were Sleeping?"
"Sure thing." John kissed Lori's forehead as he clicked the movie on. Lori kept her body rested beside John's and smiled in comfort.
Several minutes into the movie, John could hear Lori smirk beside him.
"What?" John laughed.
Lori briefly stopped laughing to answer him, "Maybe I had a bit too much fun with you earlier," she teased as she pointed out the mark she had left on his neck.
"It's fine," John assured her, unfazed. "I have some makeup I can use to cover it up."
Lori chuckled. "You know, you probably wear more makeup than I do."
John laughed. "See, that's the difference between you and me."
"What?" Lori questioned, confused as she looked into his eyes.
"You don't need makeup to look beautiful."
Lori smiled and pecked him on his lips. "You're not too bad yourself."
John grinned back at her.
Although she was supposed to be watching the movie, Lori couldn't help but catch herself staring at John. It felt so nice to be nestled in his arms and she wondered what it would be like if it were like this everyday. She had done this with Mossimo plenty of times, but somehow being with John felt different than being with Mossimo. It felt special. With John, it was like the rest of the world seemed trivial, like she belonged there with him and nowhere else.
He would have made a wonderful husband if he would have just settled down with someone, she thought to herself before sighing. ...I'm the reason he hasn't had his fairy-tale ending with the family he's always dreamed of sharing his life with.
Lori kept staring into John's eyes.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to him after a moment.
John looked at her, taken aback by her words. "For what?"
"For being the reason you never settled down."
John looked into Lori's eyes, confused. After a moment, he opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the doorbell.
Lori smiled pitifully as she sat up and John went to grab the pizza.
"It wasn't your fault," John finally replied as he set the pizza down on the living room table. "It was just timing and I did settled down. Once. But after things didn't work out with Rebecca, l realized something."
Lori looked at John as she took a seat next to him on the couch. "What?"
"That I would wait forever for you if I had to."
Lori smiled as he gave her a quick peck before putting pizza on her plate.
Lori looked around the room as they ate. "I just can't believe that I'm here. After all these years, I'm finally here with you."
John stopped and looked at her.
"It's perfect," she declared.
John smiled as he pulled her into his arms.
After they cleaned up their dinner, John took her hand and led her back to his bedroom. They snuggled up and continued the movie.
Subconsciously, their hands clasped together, fingers intertwined.
As the movie ended, John sighed.
"I really don't want you to leave…" John murmured, kissing Lori's forehead.
"I don't want to either," she said softly to him, her head resting in the space underneath his chin. "but we both know I have to."
Lori turned and looked at the clock on the bed stand. "I can't believe it's almost 2am."
"Time flies when you're having fun," he smiled.
She laughed as she kissed him.
"But I really need to get home and I also need to look like I came home from a night out with the girls, so let me do my makeup and then I'll go."
John nodded.
Lori smiled as she got up, grabbed makeup out of her purse, and went to the bathroom to freshen up.
Lori was making coffee the next morning when she felt arms wrap around her waist.
"Hey honey," Lori murmured as she finished stirring cream into her mug.
"Good morning, love," her husband greeted, kissing her cheek. Lori smiled softly and turned around to lean against the counter and look at Mossimo. She pressed her lips against his.
A second later, Mossimo pulled back and smiled, looking into her eyes. "Bella is borrowing the car today, so would you like me to drive you to work?"
"That would be wonderful," Lori replied sweetly.
They looked into each other's eyes for a moment before Mossimo finally said, "I'm glad we were finally able to talk things through."
Lori nodded, a glimmer in her eyes. "Me too." There was still guilt in her as she said these words, but she truly did enjoy being in Mossimo's company.
"Aww, look who's getting along," a voice chimed in from the living room.
Mossimo's arms around Lori's waist and Lori's around his neck, the couple turned to see their daughter Olivia beaming at them as she lifted her school bag onto her back.
Lori smiled as Mossimo gave her another peck on her cheek.
"Keys?" Another voice chimed in from the hallway. The figure walked forward to reveal her lavender sundress.
Lori reached over the counter and threw her car keys to Bella.
Mossimo then pulled away from Lori and clapped his hands. "Okay girls, school starts in twenty minutes. Grab your breakfast and let's go!"
Lori threw a protein bar over to each of her girls and followed her family out the door.
As Mossimo drove Lori, she lay her hand naturally on his.
"I should drive you to set more often," Mossimo suggested.
"I'd like that," Lori smiled. However, her smile slightly faded as they pulled into the parking lot and she spotted John's motorcycle.
As soon as Mossimo parked, he turned to look over at his wife. It took him only a second to realize the darkened expression on her face.
"Something wrong, honey?"
Lori gulped. She hesitated, not knowing how to respond.
"No nothing, sweetheart," Lori responded, lying through her teeth. She knew she would tell him someday. It just hadn't been the right moment.
Mossimo smiled softly and leaned in, pressing his lips against hers.
"I'm sorry I'm staying at work late tonight, but I'll see you back home?"
Lori nodded as Mossimo gently kissed her forehead.
"There you are!" Candace exclaimed as soon as she saw Lori walk in the studio door.
Lori shook her head in disbelief. It was almost as if Candace had been waiting on her.
"Come on, the girls and I want to talk to you." She grabbed Lori's hand and whisked her to the lounge room.
"Hey!" Jodie and Andrea chimed in as Lori walked inside and Candace locked the door behind them.
Lori sighed. "What do you guys want to know?" she asked, joining them at the table.
"Everything!" Jodie requested.
"Yeah, spill!" Andrea seconded.
Lori rolled her eyes and smiled. "That's not how this works. You ask me and I'll answer."
"Alright, I'll just cut to the chase then. Did you or did you not hook up with John?" Jodie questioned.
"Wow, starting out with the difficult questions," Lori laughed.
Jodie shot her a look. "Answer the question."
"Okay, I'll answer, but absolutely none of this leaves this room. You guys got it?" she asked, looking at all three of them. The girls nodded.
"Last night after the interview things got…erm...heated in his trailer," Lori admitted. "But I figured everything out. I love Mossimo and always will."
"That's it? That's all you're giving us? No spicy details?" Jodie inquired, appalled at Lori's vagueness.
"Gross!" Candace cried, slapping Jodie on the arm.
"Ouch, what was that for?"
"Details? Seriously? John's practically our uncle. You're disgusting."
"Okay, fine." Jodie looked back at Lori. "Define 'heated,'" she corrected, rephrasing her previous question. Candace smacked her again. "Ow, stop that!"
Lori just shook her head and laughed at the two, appreciating the stalling they were providing her.
"So you're staying with Mossimo?" Andrea pondered, ignoring the typical sister bickering and trying to make make sense of what Lori was saying.
"Of course. I love Mossimo, he's my husband. I just needed to get the thing with John out of my system and I did," Lori replied nonchalantly.
Candace, Andrea and Jodie looked at each other knowing there was more to the story than Lori was letting on.
"What?" Lori asked. "Aren't you guys happy? You were the ones pushing me to get over John and now I have."
"It can't possibly be that simple," Candace refuted. "This is you and John we're talking about. And where were you last night? Asking us to cover your lie is completely unlike you."
"She just said she was in John's trailer," Jodie reminded. "Speaking of which, from what I heard, she was having a pretty good time."
"I was actually at his place too, but nothing happened there I swear. We just talked."
Andrea laughed. "Yeah, 'talked'. I think now's time for my question." Her mouth curved into a mischievous smile. "How was he?"
"Andrea!" Candace shouted, this time slapping her best friend's arm as she scolded her.
"What? He's not my uncle," she defended.
"It was all nice. It was really great to figure everything out. Mossimo and I talked when I got home. He's been really jealous lately and I apologize for asking you girls to cover for me."
"Did you end up telling John that you love him?" Andrea asked.
Lori nodded. "Yes, because I do love John. I'll always love John, but sometimes you love people you aren't meant to be with."
The girls looked at her sadly.
"Have you told him that part too?" Jodie pried.
Lori looked down. "Not yet, I plan to tell him today."
Candace sighed. "This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I didn't want anyone to get hurt."
"Don't worry. I know how to handle it." Lori placed her hand on Candace's for support.
"You made the right choice though," Candace assured Lori supportively. "Family should always come first. They always have to you and I knew you'd make the right decision."
Lori smiled. "Thank you, and thank you girls for everything." She got up and pulled them into a group hug.
"Now I need to go find John," she announced before walking out the door.
As Lori walked out of the lounge, she spotted John in his producer chair. She took a deep breath and walked up to him.
"Hey you," he greeted charmingly, taking off his glasses and setting them down on the table beside him as he smiled up at her.
"Hey," she responded nervously, putting her hands in her back pockets. "Can we talk?"
"Yeah, of course." John got up and led her into his office.
As soon as they got into his office, John closed the blinds and looked at Lori.
"Okay John, listen, we—" Lori began, but her words were interrupted by John moving in toward her and pressing his lips against hers.
For a moment, Lori melted in the kiss, but as John went to place his arms around her waist, she forced herself to push him away.
"We can't do this," Lori stated as she reopened her eyes. When she caught John's eyes again, her face went white and she could feel her heart start beating with anxiety.
John half-smiled in confusion. "What do you mean?" His eyes turned to what Lori was twisting on her finger. Her wedding ring. "Oh…" The word fell out of his mouth like shattered glass.
Lori looked at him sadly. She felt bad for what she had done and what she was currently about to do, but when her first words came out, she had to will herself to continue.
"What happened last night," Lori started to explain, "That… what we did… and whatever else that it is between us... It can't happen."
"I thought…" John narrowed his eyes at her, trying to make sense of everything. "...last night was special." He took a step back before continuing. "At least it was for me. Was it not for you?"
"No, of course it was…" Lori murmured softly. "It was great." She paused, thinking back to the moment. "It was actually the best I've ever…" a small smile arose on her face before quickly fading away, "...but it can't happen again." She sighed. "John, I'm married."
"We've both been there before…" John responded lightly, forcing a small laugh.
Lori looked at him, her face grave. "I'm serious, John. I'm sorry, I should have never—"
"Don't." John replied under his breath. "Don't act like that—like we—are a mistake. You know we aren't." His voice became pained, a lump getting caught in his throat. "We've waited thirty-three years for this, Lori!"
"Exactly," Lori promptly refuted. "Maybe we got caught up in the moment. The idea of what we are— what we could have been. What we lost."
John opened his mouth and raised his hand as if to say something, but instead let out a sigh as he sat down in his chair.
Within seconds, Lori made her way over to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.
"I love you; I always will. If it means I have to wait thirty-three more years, then I will."
Lori shook her head before resting it on John's.
"I don't want you to wait. It's not fair to you, John. I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone who will love you for all that you are. I want you to settle down; have that family you've always dreamed of since we were teenagers. I want you to move on." Lori stood back up, pulling herself away from him and moving to stand in front of his desk. "You need to let me go. For good. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and I just can't give you that. I care for you deeply. I mean it."
There was a long silence between them as they reflected on the past several weeks they had spent together. Suddenly, all those moments seemed foolish to them. It felt like they were acting like teenagers, desperate for the idea of falling in love. They began thinking that maybe it really was just an in-the-moment adventure they had to go through together in order to realize that their lives were perfect the way they were. That they were always destined for friendship.
As John and Lori were thinking things through, Lori could feel tears rise in her eyes and she forced herself to leave.
As her hand was on the doorknob, however, John's voice stopped her.
"I never thought things would end up like this," he murmured, his head in his hands.
"John…" Lori responded softly, her voice cracking. She had tears in her eyes.
"I always thought we would have a happy ending of our own…" John continued, staring down at his desk. He couldn't even bear to look at her.
"I'm only doing this because I love you," Lori responded, staring into the hallway.
There was a pause.
"Can I at least drive you home later?"
Lori looked at him one last time before nodding and wiping away a strolling tear as she walked out the door.
As soon as the door closed behind her, she leaned on the wall beside John's office and, using all her will, tried to pull herself together.
The last image of the man she could have spent the rest of her life with could not escape from her mind. His last facial expression had proved to her that she'd broken him more than she had years back, and she could never forgive herself for it.
The cast had their last goodbyes for the season. They knew they were going to hang out before the season two filming, but it was still sad to leave the set for a few months and not spend all their time together.
Lori gave all the cast members a hug, including another group hug with her three girls. "I love you," she had told them, "I'll see you on Saturday for a real girl's night." They all smiled and waved her goodbye as she walked outside to meet John.
As soon as Lori spotted John, she realized he was still desolate from earlier.
"You know you don't need to drive me, I can just catch a ride with one of the girls…" Lori told him sorrowfully.
"It's fine, I want to. It's the last filming and it feels right for me to take you home. Are you ready?"
"How did—? I thought you drove your motorcycle to work today?" Lori asked, confused upon seeing his car where the motorcycle had been that morning.
"After our talk, I had my assistant come and drop it off," he explained, opening the door for her. "M'lady," he said casually, motioning for her to get in the car.
Lori half-smiled as she got in.
She stared out the window in silence as John drove.
"You were right, you know," John finally said, breaking the silence.
Lori looked at him.
"This is what's best for us."
Lori smiled softly at him before silently continuing to look out the window.
A few minutes later, John pulled his car into the Giannullis' driveway.
"Home sweet home," he announced bitterly.
Lori placed her hand on John's, looking at him.
"Thank you. For everything," Lori told him sincerely as she looked into his eyes.
John simply smiled at her. They got lost in each other's eyes until hearing chatter from the opened garage.
Turning to look at it, they watched as Lori's two teenage girls rode their bicycles out to the small space beside them. Mossimo came out shortly after and waved at John; in return, John gave him a friendly half-smile.
Lori patted John's hand before getting out of her car and going over to her husband. John watched from inside as Mossimo wrapped his arms territorially around his wife, happily pressing his lips against hers. What broke John wasn't another man kissing the woman he himself was in love with. It wasn't even seeing her kiss him back. It was watching her hug her daughters and grin joyfully around her husband and kids that had torn his heart into pieces.
Lori was happy.
And that's all he had ever wanted.
John walked around his bedroom, getting everything prepared for that night.
Shortly after John had gotten back home, he'd decided to text Juliette. Maybe he missed her, maybe he felt guilty, maybe he wanted to relieve his pain, he wasn't sure. But he made sure to set up candles in his bedroom, spread rose petals on his bed, and dim the lighting to set the mood.
Once Juliette had arrived, he immediately took her hand and led her upstairs.
"Wow," she exclaimed as soon as she saw what John had prepared. "You've never done this for me before."
"I just wanted to do a little something for someone… special," John told her softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his.
Kissing Juliette left a bitter taste for John, but he forced himself to continue. After a moment, Juliette finally pulled away and she bit her lip seductively.
"Let me just freshen up, okay boo?" she smiled.
John nodded, and as she went over to his bathroom, he playfully and gently smacked her from behind, causing her to giggle.
Once Juliette had closed the door, John went and sat at the foot of his bed. He took that time to reflect on everything, and ended up sighing to himself. After the magic he shared with Lori, he realized it would take someone pretty great for him to even want to kiss another woman.
John knew Lori was right. He should settle down with someone. But she had also taught him something else: that whomever that someone was, she should be special. And Juliette...
John's thoughts were interrupted as he could hear the door open behind him.
Juliette went over to where John was sitting and sat down on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. She placed her forehead on John's and leaned in to kiss him, until, suddenly, he pulled away and stood up, avoiding eye contact with her.
Juliette narrowed her eyes, confused. "What's wrong?" she asked, beginning to realize his bleak facial expression.
John was pacing back and forth in front of his bed.
"I can't do this," he announced.
"You can't do what?" Juliette asked unknowingly, fixing her satin lingerie.
"I can't live my life like this anymore… I can't let you give your heart to me when I won't be able to do the same for you."
"But John—"
"Please leave," John disrupted, opening the door beside him. "Now."
Juliette looked worriedly at John before grabbing her purse and walking out the door.
As soon as Juliette was gone, John went back to his room and collapsed onto his bed, his head in his hands as he cried out in frustration.
After a bit, John placed his hands back beside him and stared at the ceiling.
He had finally let go of his rugged past.
He had finally let go of Lori.
If that wasn't courage, what was?
