Okay, I really have to apologise for the super super long wait! I really have no time to write during school, and now school's out – but only for a couple of weeks. So, this is the new update! It was written in two sittings, with about three months in between each sitting, so it might sound a bit incoherent. Apologies for that.

Anyway, please read on and leave a review later!

Bleach does not belong to me

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Time Does not Stand Still (The Revenge)

For a human, or anything that had ever been human, there are many forces that drive them to do the things that they do. There is Greed (which is also named Desire, Ambition and sometimes, Nationalism), which often drives people to steal, rob and plunder, and hollows to eat, eat and eat. There is also Rebellion (also known as Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, or Hey-this-is-More-Fun-than-School) which often results in humans waving multi-coloured flags, building multiple barricades and singing a lot of catchy jingles, and Hollows to eat, eat and just eat. Then, there is Love (alternately known as The Greatest Human Feeling Ever or Uncontrollable Pubertal Hormonal Drives) which drives humans to mate, mate and mate, and incidentally, for Hollows to do just about the same. (For humans, there are some things that never change, no matter what form you take.)

And then, there is something, which is a mixture of many of the examples raised, though not necessarily in equal portions. It is called Revenge (also known as I'm-Gonna-Run-Ya-Through-Ya-Faggot). Throughout the centuries of mankind, the concept of revenge has been romanticized. Initially, it was seen as the appropriate thing to do in many cultures, for Revenge was the act of Regaining Thy Dignity (or your Wife's Dignity, or your Husband's Dignity, or your Dog's Dignity… you get the point). Then in recent times, Revenge was seen as a malevolent force mainly because people started Killing People Before Their Crimes Have Been Proven. Instead, it became Legal to let a Servant of the Government Kill for you. Essentially, Revenge became Centralized - much like Education.

Hueco Mundo has a government. Admittedly it is a very small one since it consists mainly of Aizen Sousuke and perhaps a little bit of Tousen Kaname and Ichimaru Gin. Like in all dimensions with a government, Revenge has been Centralized here in Hueco Mundo as well. Hollows and Arrancar are only supposed to take revenge if Aizen Sousuke orders it. (Incidentally, the definition of Revenge in Hueco Mundo is "The act of retribution on anyone who has done any harm to Lord Aizen Souske".)

Unfortunately for Aizen Sousuke and the whole of Hueco Mundo, there are always individuals who see things differently as is the case in most societies. It's not that they're out to create trouble, it's just that they have a… different point of view. As in the case of revenge, there might be some who feel that it shouldn't be centralized, that every individual should have the right to Regain His or Her Dignity. Then there are always a few select individuals who not only have a different point of view but who believe on acting on their own views. This people are often considered Social Deviants, unless they are very rich. (In which case, they would be considered Eccentric.)

Ichimaru Gin wasn't a Social Deviant, not in any sense of the word. That is mainly because Ichimaru Gin never considered himself a part of any society, and thus it is impossible for him to be a Social Deviant. Some might suggest he should then be called an Individual Deviant, but then that begets the huge philosophical problem of how he could be a deviant when there's only one of him and that one of him is the norm. No, for people like Ichimaru Gin, new categories are created.

As long as Aizen Sousuke had known him, he had classified Ichimaru Gin has a Highly Dangerous Though Rather Amusing Person Who Can Get Pretty Irritating.

Then when Hitsugaya Toshirou had known him, Ichimaru Gin had become classified That Crazy Smirking Asshole (which begets the problem of how an asshole can smirk and whether it is possible for a non-entity like a hole, which is essentially an empty space within an entity, to go crazy).

Inoue Orihime classified Ichimaru Gin as the Male-Sister I Always Wanted.

However, as in the case of most Unclassified Characters, the names of the categories they are in tend to change rapidly.

Currently, Ichimaru Gin was known as The Monster in the Attic.

Veteran Arrancar told horror stories about him to newly-made Arrancar. Like The Monster in the Attic that ate the Naughty Arrancar that didn't do what Aizen-sama ordered him to (Arrancar aren't known for their ability to come up with good story titles).

If Ichimaru Gin had known of his new status, he honestly wouldn't have minded much. (After all there had been a period of time back in Soul Society where a common threat at the Academy made to deviant students went something along the lines of, "If you continue misbehaving, I'm going to put you in Ichimaru-taichou's squad.") In fact, he would not have given much thought to it anyway, what with his mind being occupied by other thoughts.

Thoughts like Regaining His Dignity – or just Causing A Lot of Trouble.

Deep in the attic, where not even a mouse dared walk, something with red gleaming eyes bared sharp fangs in a serpentine grin. Then as the pale, dull moon rose over the desert plains of Hueco Mundo, a terrible hiss ripped through the air.

New categories are often created for people like Ichimaru Gin, but no matter what you choose to call people like him, there is one thing you must always remember.

Never ever let out that they are still virgins.

It is one of the triggers of Armageddon.

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Wonderwice was not stupid. Many people said Wonderwice was stupid. He wasn't. He just didn't think quickly. That wasn't stupid. That was… slow. Slow wasn't stupid. Slow was slow.

Tousen Kaname sama was telling him a story. Wonderwice had to pay attention.

"Wonderwice are you listening?"

Wonderwice must put thumb in mouth. Wonderwice must smile.

"Okay, I assume you are. Shall I tell you Yuki-Bya and The Monster in the Attic instead of The Big Bad Monster in the Attic and the Three Little Mod-Souls?"

Wonderwice must… must do something. Nod! Wonderwice must nod!

"Okay then. Ready?"

Wonderwice must nod again. Tousen Kaname sama must be slow too.

"Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a beautiful, beautiful zanpakuto by the name of Yuki-Bya. Yuki-Bya had an evil inner self by the name of Kuro-Bya. Kuro-Bya was a very vain zanpakuto. Everyday, Kuro-Bya would look into the mirror of it's owner's soul and ask, "Mirror, mirror of My Master's Soul, who's the fairest of them all?". Unfortunately for Kuro-Bya, the answer was always Yuki-Bya was the fairest of them all, because Yuki-Bya was white in colour and Kuro-Bya was black in colour, and thus Yuki-Bya was always fairer than Kuro-Bya."

Wonderwice must not fall asleep. Wonderwice must pay attention to story. Wonderwice must not wonder why there is a pair of glowing red eyes behind Tousen Kaname sama.

"Anyway, Kuro-Bya decided that 'fairness' wasn't a very fair way to define beauty because black is elegant, sexy and always in. Instead, Kuro-Bya decided that this was a very colourist way of defining beauty, and that what matters is really on the inside So, Kuro-Bya took to asking, "Mirror, mirror in My Master's Soul, who's the darkest of them all?". The answer from then on was always Kuro-Bya."

Wonderwice must not fall asleep. Wonderwice must stop wondering why the pair of glowing red eyes are coming closer to Tousen Kaname sama. Wonderwice must stop wondering why Tousen Kaname sama is so slow he never feel the horrible reiatsu coming closer.

"Anyway, Yuki-Bya got very miffed by this. Yuki-Bya wanted to be the answer the Mirror of their Master's Soul gave all the time. So Yuki-Bya decided to enlist the help of the Monster in the Attic to help her get rid of evil, evil Kuro-Bya. Yuki-Bya thus traveled into the Attic of their Master's Soul and called out, "Monster, Monster in the Attic? Wouldn't you come and discus tactics? To rid Kuro-Bya we must unite! So wouldn't you come with me and Kuro-Bya smite?". And the Monster in the Attic replied…"

"Yesssssssssssssssss, I would, if I could. But I'll eat you up firsssssssssssst!"

Wonderwicre must not fall asleep. Woncerwice must pay attention. Wonderwice must not wonder why the Monster in the Attic bumped Tousen Kaname sama on the head and then walk away smirking and mumbling, "That'ssssssss for laughing about my virginity, sssssssssso nyasssssssssss!"

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Grimmjaw glared at Ulquiorra over the table. Ulquiorra stared back calmly.

"You little piece of…" Grimmjaw glowered.

"Little piece of what?" Ulquiorra challenged passively (a paradox on its own, one only Ulquiorra could truly achieve). "What I said makes perfect sense."

"No it doesn't!" Grimmjaw snarled. "You're making up shit!"

"I do not make up shit. Shit is made up of excess fibre and…"

"You know what I'm talking about!"

"I might if you would stop making metaphorical allusions to the digestive tract and its various products."

Grimmjaw snarled menacingly and picked up the book lying on the table. "See here?" he demanded roughly, jabbing the book with a finger for emphasis. "According to this passage in the Book of Gin, the daily consumption of Hollow lizards is a must because the Great Seer Gin says, 'Feed daily on that which is fresh and green, and forget not the daily bowel movement.' That's Hollow lizards alright! Those things seriously give me the runs!"

"I disagree," Ulquiorra said quietly, folding his hands gracefully on his lap. "I believe that this is in actual fact a metaphor. The 'fresh and green' object we should 'feed daily on' must refer to Aizen-sama's words and that we should read his words everyday. The 'daily bowel movement' would then refer to us carrying out his orders to the dot and removing all that is waste from the bowels of Hueco Mundo."

"That's bullshit," Grimmjaw shouted angrily, slamming the book down on the table. "How the hell is Aizen-sama's words 'fresh and green'?"

Ulquiorra flinched slightly (and Grimmjaw felt a sudden bolt of vindictive pleasure). "You tell me what does eating Hollow lizards have to do with religion," Ulquiorra shot back (albeit very calmly and emotionlessly).

"About as much as staring at a clump of moss for ten minutes every half an hour, like it is said in the Book of Gin Two!"

"The Book of Gin Two does not say that."

"It does!" Grimmjaw howled in frustration, pulling out another book and flipping furiously. "It's right here… there! 'Upon gazing at words for an hour's half, turn and look upon much greenness to rest one's eyes.' See? That means every half an hour, we have to look at something that's green! Like moss!"

"You are getting ridiculous, Grimmjaw," Ulquiorra said coldly. "That passage obviously refers to the fact that every once in a while, we should look up upon the majesty of Aizen-sama so as to not forget what we were created for. What could be more restful than gazing on the image of our Lord?"

"That's bullshit again, Ulquiorra! Why on earth is Aizen-sama 'green'? He's more of a warm complexion, more... brown, if you ask me!" Grimmjaw snarled menacingly. "You just don't want to admit that you're wrong!"

"Hey, what's up?" Yami asked jovially, stepping into the room. "Gee, what's with the ugly faces?"

"Yami!" Grimmjaw shouted. "Ulquiorra's being a super moron! Look at this passage in the Book of Gin! 'Feed daily on that which is fresh and green, and forget not the daily bowel movement.' That refers to eating Hollow lizards that give you the runs, right? Ulquiorra thinks it means we should listen to Aizen-sama and help Hueco Mundo shit! Tell him he's wrong!"

"Huh?" Yami stared at the passage. "Gee… I always thought that referred to eating a steady diet of vegetables so you don't get constipated." He cringed as both Grimmjaw and Ulquiorra focused bug-killing glares on him. "I know, I know," he said hurriedly. "I'm not a very smart Arrancar. Sorry! I mean, it really didn't quite make sense to me anyway, the thing I came up with. I'm just not cut out for heavy duty thinking, 'k?"

"Yeah, yeah," Grimmjaw snapped. "Just scram, damn you! You're making things worse! Eating vegetables… yeah, right! Next you'll be telling me 'Upon a week thrice days choose, run round and round in comfortable shoes' means we should exercise regularly at least three times a week. Everybody knows it refers to the three times a week that bloody sandstorm comes around and buries anything out there alive."

"It does not," Ulquiorra said, his face hardening. "That line is merely sound advice to work hard on whatever mission Aizen-sama gives you. It is merely an endorsement of diligence, something someone as lazy as you will never understand."

Grimmjaw drew up to his full height. "You're an arrogant prick, Ulquiorra," he snarled. "Fight me!"

"No. The Book of Kaname states clearly that, 'Multiple mushrooms boiled together make good stew', which means that fellow Arrancar are not to fight each other."

"That's crap, Ulquiorra! That line is obviously a reference to hallucinogens!"

Yami (who had thought that 'Upon a week thrice days choose, run round and round in comfortable shoes' meant arrancar should exercise regularly, and who thought 'Multiple mushrooms boiled together make good stew' meant that good mushroom stew should contain lots of mushroom) sighed and turned to leave the room. "Bye guys," he said forlornly.

"You are a moron Ulquiorra! 'Indulge in regular banging' obviously means we should fight more!"

"No, Grimmjaw. It means we should actively spread the word of Aizen-sama."

"You…"

Yami (who hadn't really thought much about 'regular banging') heaved another sigh. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," he said and stepped out of the door.

"Where issssssssssssssss Aizen-ssssssssama?"

Yami blinked rapidly and drew his huge bulk to a stop (a difficult act given the laws of inertia and all) before he ran over the figure in front of him. "Wh…?" he questioned then fell silent when a pair of gleaming red eyes fixed malevolently on him.

"Yesssssssss, Arrancar?' the figure hissed, revealing sharp fangs.

"Uh… his… well… I saw him in his room just now…" Yami gulped, feeling for the first time in his life the kind of paralyzing fear others feel when they see him.

"Thankssssssss," the figure hissed and slithered away.

With a soft whimper, Yami's legs gave out beneath him and he sat down heavily on the ground (causing mild earthquakes all around Hueco Mundo). "Oh Aizen-sama…" he whimpered.

"What is it, Yami?" Ulquiorra asked, appearing behind him.

"You fucking ruined our argument, Yami!" Grimmjaw snarled from behind. "This has so fucking better be good."

"Th… the… it's the…"

"What?"

"Monster in the Attic!" Yami gasped. "Oh Aizen-sama, it's the Monster in the Attic! It was right here just now!"

"What do you mean Monster in the Attic?" Grimmjaw demanded impatiently. "How could the Monster in the Attic have been here just now when this is out of the Attic?"

"It was the Monster then!" Yami screamed. "It was here just now! I swear it was!"

"Get a grip on yourself," Ulquiorra said sharply.

"It was the Monster from the Attic!" Yami wailed. "And I just told him where Aizen-sama is!" He blinked once. Then blinked again. Ulquiorra and Grimmjaw had disappeared. They had left him alone.

Yami curled up his legs and whimpered (and stayed that way until Wonderwice wandered up and carried him away to the sickbay because Wonderwice is sweet and kind, and highly addicted to a certain kind of mushroom that sports yellow spots).

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Aizen Sousuke was in his room, as Yami had so foolishly told the Monster From the Attic. Aizen Sousuke was in his room, staring with a pleasant sense of contentment at the ceiling as he lay draped over his couch like a very contented cat of a rich, furry and rather portly build. Admittedly, Aizen Sousuke was a little on the broad side, but he was mainly large bone structure rather than fat.

Of course he was not fat. How could he be fat? He was an Evil Dark Lord for heaven's sake! Really, he only seemed broad because he constantly had Ichimaru Gin by his side. That particular breed of Shinigami was of the body type that would never grow fat regardless of how much they ate, and thus unless you have the figure of a stick insect, you will look fat if you so much as choose to stand next to Ichimaru Gin. Aizen Sousuke had ordered Ichimaru Gin (and Tousen Kaname) to be by his side constantly, but that didn't mean that Aizen Sousuke's apparently obese appearance was his own fault. It was obviously Ichimaru Gin's fault; he was the one that obviously refused to gain weight.

He would have punished his subordinate for such insubordination, only he couldn't quite remember having seen his subordinate for a rather substantial period of time. Tousen Kaname had spent a certain amount of time searching the attics, the last place where he had been seen (and an even greater amount of time calming Inoue Orihime down before she drowned them all in tears and loads of red bean paste), but had failed to locate the missing insubordinate subordinate.

With a shrug, Aizen Sousuke resumed his contended pondering of the ceiling in his bedroom. Hogyoku was taking its time reaching full strength, and his Arrancar army was far from complete. He didn't need his Highly Dangerous Though Rather Amusing Person Who Can Get Pretty Irritating just yet, though if he didn't turn up soon, Aizen Sousuke might just decide to set the Wolves of Hueco Mundo on him (the Wolves of Hueco Mundo was the first Hollow metal band ever; and as in the long traditions of firsts, it had a high frequency of broken ear drums).

Shuddering at the thought of the Wolves of Hueco Mundo, Aizen Sousuke reached out a hand lazily and grasped a random fruit from the fruit basket next to his bed. It was an apple; a big, red, shiny apple of the kind only seen in fairytales with plenty of underlying sexual themes. Just as lazily, Aizen Sousuke took a huge bite out of the big, red, shiny apple (which in itself lends to plenty of suggestive themes being raised).

"Aizen Sssssousssssssuke!"

Said Aizen Sousuke choked on his bite of apple and almost passed out from the lack of oxygen. Fortunately he did not, because Aizen Sousuke is not a beautiful princess with skin as white as snow and lips as red as blood (and it is reasonably doubtful whether anyone could find a prince willing enough to give aforementioned Aizen Sousuke the kiss of life).

"Wh…?" he gasped, spitting out the traitorous piece of apple that had almost caused his death. "Who? What?"

"I ssssaid, Aizen Sssssousssssssuke!"

"I know that!" Aizen Sousuke snapped, looking around his empty room suspiciously. "Who is that? I demand you show yourself immediately!"

"Ssssssshusssssh now…"

"And stop hissing!"

"Ssssssssilence, Aizen Ssssssssousssssuke! All you need to know issssss that I'm ssssstanding behind you with a big, big sssssssword!" the creature hissed (which yet again raised plenty of sexual implications). "A real big ssssssssword, mind you!"

Aizen Sousuke cleared his throat noisily. "Alright," he conceded calmly. "Fair enough. What do you want then?"

"Jussssssstice," the voice hissed, and Aizen Sousuke shivered to the point of foaming at the mouth (the word Justice to an Evil Dark Lord is like holy water to a Christian vampire).

"For what?" Aizen Sousuke demanded incredulously (and ironically). "I haven't done anything wrong!"

"I know…" the voice whispered. "I know, Aizen Sousuke…"

"Wh… what?"

"I know what you did lassssssst sssssssummer!"

Lightning flashed and thunder roared, and the room of the Evil Dark Lord was thrown briefly into an odd contrast of stark white light and sheer utter darkness.

Aizen Sousuke blinked.

"Huh?" he asked confusedly. "What did I do last summer?"

There was a brief pause. "Well…" the voice stammered awkwardly. "You mussst have done sssssomething. I mean… you're an Evil Dark Lord."

"Last summer, I was still Fifth Division Captain," Aizen Sousuke pointed out dryly.

"You were planning to overthrow Soul… I mean, Sssssssoul Sssssociety!"

"Ah yes, I was. That's old news." Aizen Sousuke frowned. "Really, this is far too much. I am the Evil Dark Lord around here; I should be the one making amusingly irrelevant threats. I honestly have to demand to know who this is."

"Oh for the love of… whatever!" the ominous voice shouted peevishly. "I've got a big sword pointed at your liver! Don't you know that you have only one liver and that if I damage it, you'll be on a restricted diet of oatmeal for the rest of your existence! You'll be breathing through a tube!"

"Actually, I don't think being pierced in the liver will result in me breathing through a…"

"Shut up… I mean, sssssshut up and listen, Aizen Ssssousssuke," the voice hissed menacingly. "I didn't want to do thissss to you. I'm not by nature a cruel perssssson, but you have pusssshed me too far."

"What do you mean, whoever you are?" Aizen Sousuke demanded, a smirk playing around his lips. "Are you going to tell everyone about how I tried to kill Kuchiki Rukia? Or how I opened a nice big hole in Kurosaki Ichigo's stomach? Or how about the time I kicked that puppy that was crawling around the Fifth Division barracks looking for scraps? Hmm? What are you going to do, oh anonymous one?"

"Oh no, Aizen Ssssousssuke," the voice hissed, dripping with malice. "Not at all. I'm not even going to tell anyone about the time you, in a drunken stupor, mistook Zaraki Kenpachi for a very beautiful woman and tried to pick him up. Not at all, Aizen Ssssousssuke."

"Then what is it, oh aspiring Evil Dark Lord."

"I am going to let out," the voice paused for dramatic effort then announced, "your real weight!"

The half-eaten apple rolled from Aizen Sousuke's hand and dropped to the floor, making a loud, wet sound as it did, in a move full of plenty of symbolism and metaphors. Then it rolled under Aizen Sousuke's chair in a move full of plenty of nasty implications (amongst those include cockroaches in about a day or two).

"You wouldn't!" Aizen Sousuke gasped, his face turning a dramatic shade of grey and white. "You can't! It's… that's… that's… cruel!"

"Try me, Aizen Sousuke!" the voice howled triumphantly then hesitated and added, "I mean… Aizen Sssousssuke."

"It's…" Aizen Sousuke drew himself up to his full height. "Well, go ahead!" he cried defiantly. "It's not like I'm that… fat… heavy, anyway!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Don't bullshi… bullssssshit me, Aizen Ssssousssuke! I know what your real weight is in proportion to your height alright!"

"And so what about it!"

"You're heavy, dude, seriously heavy. Sssssssserioussssssly heavy."

"No, I'm not!"

"Oh yes you are!"

"I'm not!"

"You're heavy enough to cause mild tremors when you walk."

"That's not true!"

"I've got seismic graphs to prove it!"

"No you don't!"

"You're heavy enough to cause the planet to tilt slightly off orbit when you run."

"No! No!"

"You're heavy enough to have your own gravitational pull and your own orbit!"

"No!"

"Oh yessssssss!" the voice screamed shrilly. "You areFAT!"

"No!" Aizen Sousuke screamed back. "No! I'm not! I'm… I'm… I'm… just… robust!"

"Like a pig," the voice sneered.

"How dare you!" Aizek Sousuke screeched, launching himself to his feet. With what in a lesser villain would have been a fatal disregard of the real big sword pointing at his liver, the Evil Dark Lord of Hueco Mundo spun around and jabbed a finger in said hissing menace's face. "Look at this!"

Said hissing menace looked obligingly.

"Tell me what you see, you bloody anonymous thing!"

"Uh… your finger?"

"Yes!" Aizen Sousuke howled triumphantly. "It's my finger!"

Said anonymous hissing menace shrunk back and waved its real big sword hesitantly.

"Observe it!" Aizen Sousuke commanded again. "Observe how beautiful it is! How white and slender! How long and elegant! Observe how graceful it truly, truly is!"

"Uh…"

"Having fully taken in the true wonder of my finger, proceed to look at these!" With a flourish, both of Aizen Sousuke's hands were displayed for looking. "Observe that I have not only one perfect finger, but ten!"

"Well now…"

"Now, observe my nose! What a strong nose it is! Aquiline, straight and aristocratic! A nose worthy of a king!"

"Right. Now about my sword…"

"And my eyes! Look at how large they are! Observe how my luminous brown eyes are framed by thick, dark lashes! Observe how my strong, well-shaped eye-brows provide definition for my strong brow!"

"There's the over-use of the word 'observe' if I may say…"

"Observe my full lips with its dipping cupid's bow! Observe how red and kissable they truly are!"

"Like I said… about that 'observe' part…"

"And my hair! Thick! Wavy! Luxuriant! Any woman would want to run her fingers through my hair!"

"Alright… this is going to far…"

"And my muscular frame! Observe the biceps, triceps, abs.. "

"Oh lord…"

"And need I mention my well-developed p…"

"Enough!" the anonymous hissing menace screamed, shooting to its feet. "Enough! I get the point! Fine, you are hot! Whatever! Now just remember that I'm pointing my real sword at you!"

Aizen Sousuke blinked. "Gin? Is that you?"

Said anonymous hissing menace, now exposed as Ichimaru Gin froze and blinked owlishly. "Oh darn it all!"

Aizen Sousuke smiled. "I can have you for treason you know?" he said smugly, settling down upon his couch again. "Execution. No questions asked. No questions answered."

Ichimaru Gin pouted and re-sheathed his sword. "There goes my Justice," he mumbled.

"Now, what was that all about?" Aizen Sousuke demanded, running his fingers through said luxuriant hair.

"You told the world I was still a… you know… that 'V' word!"

"Oh for heaven's… you are still angry about that?"

"It's the 'V' word! The 'V' word!"

"If you are so anguished about your vir… lack of activity," Aizen Sousuke snapped impatiently. "Then do something about it!"

"Like?" Ichimaru Gin grumbled.

"I don't know! Pillage a village and ravage its female occupants or something! We're evil villains, you know? We have the utmost right to do that."

"Oh that is so low, Aizen-sama!" Ichimaru Gin protested grumpily. "I…"

"Uh… Excuse me?"

There was a moment of silence that could be aptly described as pregnant then said evil villains turned to observe the doorway of Aizen Sousuke's room.

Ulquiorra cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Excuse me Aizen-sama," he said slowly. "We were told that the ah… Monster was coming this way and ah… we thought… ah… should we put up a search?""

"Be my guest," Aizen Sousuke grumbled as Ichimaru Gin looked at the ceiling and whistled nonchalantly.

"Yes sir," Ulquiorra said delicately. "Only ah… sir? It might be wise to close the door for your ah… following activities."

"Activities?" Aizen Sousuke mumbled absent-mindedly, wondering where his apple had rolled to. "What activities?"

"The activities where Ichimaru-sama points his 'sword' at you from behind and you help him of rid himself of his problem," Grimmjaw muttered.

Aizen Sousuke stared.

Ichimaru Gin stared.

Grimmjaw shifted his feet, stared at the ceiling and displayed several signs of discomfort.

"You've got it all wrong…" Aizen Sousuke said hurriedly.

"How dare you interrupt us!" Ichimaru Gin shrieked.

And the room went silent.

"Gin…" Aizen Sousuke glowered in a mild sort of panic as Ichimaru Gin's grin widened and his eyes took on a maniac gleam.

"Aizen-sama and I…" Ichimaru Gin said earnestly, his face suddenly the image of sincerity and (dare it be said) flushed with love. "Oh… if you only knew how we feel!"

"Uh huh…" Grimmjaw said warily, starting to back out of the room.

"I know it's forbidden! God, everyone knows it's forbidden! The only reason I would ever have left Soul Society… oh if you could only comprehend…" Ichimaru Gin's grin widened. "If you could only comprehend… Grimmjaw-kun, the reason why I came with Aizen-sama… and the reason we chose you to come with us."

Grimmjaw froze, his jaw hanging wide open.

Ulquiorra froze, his jaw hanging wide open (and inched away from Grimmjaw).

Aizen Sousuke froze, his jaw hanging wide open.

Ichimaru Gin grinned.

As he has a penchant to do.

"M… me?" Grimmjaw gaped.

"Grimmjaw-kun…"

"Me needs to… I need to uh… find the monster…" Grimmjaw gasped and turned… and fled.

Aizen Sousuke unfroze himself and glared at Ichimaru Gin.

Ichimaru Gin grinned widely.

"What do you know?" he said cheerily. "Tousen was right! This path really is the path to justice! I pity the tools though!"

"Gin! Now the whole word is going to think we are… dare I say it?"

"Please don't."

"You know what I mean at any rate! How could you…? How dare you…?"

Ichimaru Gin's eyes narrowed cheerfully. "Never underestimate me, Aizen-sama," he said, his voice as slimy and insidious as something very slimy and insidious. "Just be glad that now that my Justice is done, I shall willingly go back to dreaming up schemes for you."

With that said, Ichimaru Gin swept out of Aizen Sousuke's room, leaving a stunned and confused Aizen Sousuke sitting on his throne with a rotting apple somewhere in his room.

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"Gin-chan?"

"Yes, Orihime-chan?"

"Ooh! I'm just so glad!"

"Glad?"

"That you're finally out of the closet! Now we can talk about boys! So tell me, do you think Kurosaki-kun's butt is cuter or is Abarai-kun's butt cuter?"

"…"

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Ok, I know the ending totally sucks, but I have been sitting on this fic since forever and there's nothing new breeding in my brain. I apologise for it and promise a better chapter whenever it comes out next.

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