Well bugger I've been away for a while haven't I? Well, what with being an apprentice Sous Chef for a couple of months (Months of agony mind you, couldn't feel my feet until a few days ago, a few weeks after I packed it in! Travel was a bitch…anyway!)
Ahem, so here is the long awaited Sixth day, which with a bit of luck should have another interlude accompanying it the following day. Now that I've got a thing with fewer hours, more play, I can write, write, write away!
So without further ado…
Begin!
(Warning! Violence is a bit heavy in this chapter, so I hope you don't feel squeamish. Though if you do you probably shouldn't be reading this story in the first place XD)
The Sixth Day
The world was warm…my world…the world that encompassed me, enveloped my very soul. It surrounded my weary, tormented form and grew, with but a soft, feminine sigh…ever tighter, yet still so very protective.
Safe...I felt…safe, for the first time in what felt like a lifetime.
"Wake up sweetie…wake up."
That voice…
My eyes, bleary and weary lifted up ever so slightly, only to become instantly blinded by a sea of white. Moving my head but a tad, I felt my sense of touch become nigh overwhelmed by soft, silky texture.
I buried my head within it ever more, sighing happily as it too seemed to vibrate with joy.
"Honey," laughed the voice, such a wonderful sound. "Oh, am I comfortable baby?"
Unwilling, unable to respond to the heavenly voice, I simply nodded as much as I was willing to allow in such comfort.
"Ohh…okay, you can sleep a little more…my sweet Toby."
…
…
…
Adrenaline rushed through me without the slightest warning, images; emotions so tangled and weaved in an intricate web of love and deception that I, once tired and warm beyond mortal comprehension instantly felt overcome by cold, cruel realization.
I had slept with my poisoner.
I had slept with the one who had cruelly, mercilessly taken control of my life, my body and did it all with a smile.
I had slept with Celestia, my PSYCHOTIC EX MAREFRIEND. And I had done it-WE had done it, come at it like a couple of fucking animals in a savage heat.
But I knew, I KNEW that on my part, I had done it with no control, no reasonable thought or action over any of it…and it was all because I had drunk that…tainted liquid from her.
With strength I knew not I possessed, I all but flung myself away from the safety, the warmth and onto the cold, carpeted floor.
"Toby!" Celestia cried, shock saturating her voice as her wings shot out and propelled her, in one swift move, onto her hooves and towards my general direction.
"Stay away from me!" I yelled, eyes widening briefly at the unexpected return of my voice, rough and worn from disuse and pain…but my VOICE, back again! Unwilling to let the flying mare touch me, let alone reach me, I dashed onto my legs and ignored the sharp rush of pain that accompanied it as I raced towards the door.
Can I make it? I think…I think I'm gonna, I'm gonna make it!
I grasped the knob and turned, all but flinging the door open and-
…made it through?
Looking back for but a brief and slightly insane moment, my eyes widened at the sight of Celestia flying right at me, but with a horn completely void of any glow.
Why wasn't she using her magic to pull me back?
Not taking any further precious time to mull it over, I raced down the almost forgotten corridor, spurred on by the seemingly never ending sound of flapping. Surprisingly there were no guards at all…must have been a Sunday, they never worked on Sunday.
I've got to lose her; if I don't then she'll eventually catch me and…take me back.
The mere thought alone was more than enough to give me the strength to keep running, weaving in and out of the surprisingly empty corridors with nought but harsh breath and the continuous flap of her wings to keep me company.
…and then I hit a dead end, an open window with what must have been at least a thirty foot drop.
"Hon-Honey…" came the ragged, frustrated snarl, so different from the voice I thought I knew. I turned around with gritted teeth and faced my pursuer, taking in the flushed cheeks, heaving barrel and narrowed eyes. "I believe that's quite enough silliness for one day, no?"
I didn't answer, choosing instead to glance behind me through the open window…contemplating my options.
"I wouldn't think of doing anything rash here Toby," Celestia advised, a small smile openly showing her amusement as I continued to glance behind me. "That's quite a fall there…and even if you did survive you must realize where you'd be spending your recovery, don't you?"
I did…and it chilled me to the bone.
Celestia watched me for a few more moments before eventually shaking her head, a gentle smile upon her muzzle as she took a step forward.
"Come on sweetie, you've been playing this game since the moment I brought you home. Do I love her, do I not?" her tone became almost mocking for a moment, if not playfully. "Isn't it obvious what you feel for me? You showed me yesterday…many times."
"That was your freaky milk making me do that, not myself," I growled, my mind racing a thousand miles an hour, desperately searching for any solution that would let me escape.
"I'll think you'll find that all my freaky milk did was lessen your inhibitions," she corrected, grinning at me mirthfully, as if it was all a big joke. "You wanted it Tobias, you wanted it badly. All I did was help you realize it…realize how much you need me, want me. Are you really going to stand there, look me in the eyes after what we did so beautifully and deny any affection, any at all?"
"Stop it," I whispered, backing away as she moved forward. "Y-You're twisting what really happened, you're twisting my words."
"No I'm not," she refused softly, shaking her head as she took another step forward.
"Yes you are," I replied, voice firm yet resolve shaky. "You twist everything I say, everything I think into what you want it to be, and then you try to convince me that it's true. I won't listen to you anymore; you're as poisonous as what you tricked me into eating."
Celestia frowned at my words, her eyes briefly shining with unmistakable hurt as they evidently pierced her mask. But then it was gone and there was nothing left but that smile, loving, warm and yet so cold, cruel and mocking.
I'm not going to lie here…I was scared of her, of what she could do-WOULD do if she had the opportunity.
"You're obsessed with me Celestia," I continued, if not a touch shakily. "You don't love me. Love is about trust and letting things go, even the one you care for above all others. But you didn't let me go, you poisoned me, demeaned me, kept me locked and hidden away from all but yourself. You're possessive and obsessed, not in love…if you ever were."
The mask she wore was fractured, I could see the anger and the pain in her eyes, her very expression all but screamed it at me.
…but then that smile…that horrible, wonderful smile…
"You're right Tobias, I am obsessed with you," she admitted, unashamed. "I want to keep you in my sight at all times. I want to be able to touch you anytime and get that warm, fuzzy feeling that makes me feel alive."
She walked forward slowly, sensually, her eyes displaying an open hunger for me to see.
"I want to steal you and run away, leave all my duties behind and hide from the world with you. I want us to have all of eternity to live a simple life, maybe in a cottage by the countryside with nothing but the sun and open air, or perhaps a house by the sea, or on a beach with nought but the smell of salty air and the laughter of foals playing in the sand. I want to share this dream with you by my side, forever by my side."
Stopping but a few breaths away, Celestia reached out with her right wing and stroked my cheek lovingly, gently.
"I'm obsessive and possessive of you, I know," she sighed happily, smiling contently. "There's no length I'll stray from to keep you with me my love-
A light ache, duller than yesterday throbbed and then faded, its strength apparently gone.
"- you know that now. But haven't I shown you how much I love you through my actions? Obsessed and possessive I may be, but despite what you think…I fell in love with you all that time ago in the hospital."
"And that's how I want to remember you," I interrupted, though not to her apparent displeasure. "The way you were back then, red faced, stammering and as nervous as me…the you I fell for, not whatever you are now."
"I'm the same mare, Tobias," Celestia insisted softly, a hoof replacing her wing as it gently touched my cheek. "All I've changed is how I held myself back from truly being myself with you. When you left it broke my heart, but it made me realize how holding back helped neither of us and that maybe…if I let go and showed you who I was, how far I was willing to go to show how much we need each other-"
"You need me Celestia," I refuted quickly, firmly as I could. "I don't need you."
"The say you don't love me," she asked, tears shining in her eyes. "Look at me and say it…and I'll let you go to any hospital you want to recover. You'll never see me again if you don't want to."
"You poisoned me-"
"Say it," she cut across, voice hurt and a touch rough.
"You can't expect me to say-"
"Say it,"
"I won't play this game with y-"
"SAY IT!" she screamed, both eyes white and shining with power.
"I CAN'T!" I screamed back, furious tears cascading down my face. "And I'm an idiot for it! You've hurt me, you frighten me to death, you poison me and I STILL CAN'T SAY IT!"
"Then say you love me!" she cried, voice vibrating with such power and hurt it was heartbreaking to hear. "You love me, you know you do, say it!"
"No stop it! I will NOT-"
"I've cared for you! I've washed away your pain with my OWN milk-"
"That you put there to begin with!"
"Because I love you!"
"Because YOU'RE OBSESSED!" I yelled, emotions all over the place, too many, too many! "How can you be so old and so childish at once! How can causing the one you're supposed to cherish so much pain be called love?"
"The pain was there for me to wash away, to show that my love is all you need to feel better," she explained, watery eyed and lips trembling. "You walked away from me, you tossed me aside without a second thought. I had to show you that your decision was wrong, to open your eyes to just how much you need me."
So she did it to prove a point?
I shook my head slightly and looked at her for a moment, ignoring the shine in her eyes, the dampness of fur beneath.
"You cut me off from my world forever Celestia," I said quietly. "What did you expect my reaction to be, a thank you?"
She looked down at the ground for a moment, an almost guilty expression crossing her face. But then she looked back up and I saw the resolute, the firm and unwavering expression that many a petitioner saw in her Day Court.
"Time passes differently there Tobias. What if you stayed longer than my magic could sustain, and the next time I'd see you would be years, if not decades later in my time? I couldn't risk it."
"Celestia," I began…but trailed off, sighing. "We're just going around and around in circles here and I'm tired of it."
"Then what are you going to do?" she asked softly, watching me carefully. "Are you going to jump out that window? Hit me and run?"
"I want to hit you," I admitted, ashamed and quietly furious all at once. "You've hurt me so much Celly. I want to strangle you and watch the light fade from your eyes…but I can't because…"
"Because even after all I've done, you still love me," she finished, speaking the words I couldn't, wouldn't. "Would it help to hit me? I won't stop you."
Would it help?
She lowered her head submissively, keeping eye contact as she awaited the possible blow. The one that I could give, wanted to give…but couldn't, I couldn't, no strength left, I couldn't, I…I…
…
…
…
SMACK!
The moment my fist hit her face and she fell to the floor…brought about such a disgusting, elated sensation that for a long moment I knew not what to do next.
…
Until she got back up.
SMACK!
She didn't cry out, not a bit…and it helped, it made it easier to wait for her to stand and then strike again…if I didn't hear the pain escaping her muzzle, her voice.
It was just my poisoner and I…and as long as I kept that illusion, I could keep doing it…I could keep…
SMACK!
She didn't fall this time. She simply turned her bruised face, her blackened eye scrunched up in pain and tears…and looked at me, waiting, the swelling already decreasing due to her incredible healing factor, waiting too for another hit.
"Again," she uttered, her voice pained yet resolute.
SMACK!
I swung again, ignoring the now painful throbbing my knuckles were all but screaming at me. Each hit, each satisfying, horrifyingly satisfying hit counting down every day she'd held me in her tyrannical grasp.
"Again…" she panted, voice ragged, almost unrecognisable as she spat out blood. Her constantly swelling and de-swelling eyes looking right at my own, as if trying to catch their gaze.
But I refused to look back…
SMACK!
I missed her face this time, hitting the side of her long neck instead. Her eyes glanced towards the sky and bulged outward in surprise, a horrible rattling gasp escaping her muzzle as she gasped at it in agony.
"…again…"
Faint, almost inaudible…but her voice was clear, her mantra the same.
I raised my fist for the final time and...and…
"No…"
Burst into tears, unending, unwavering as they cascaded down my face.
"No, no, no! What are you doing to me?!" I cried angrily, hysterically. "I'm not…I'm not like…like THIS! STOP IT!"
Celestia merely looked at me, her expression unreadable behind her heavily bruised, bloodied face and swollen eyes. And though each bruise was fading rapidly, a healthy sheen replacing them, the image of her right then was forever burned into my mind.
Battered, pathetic…expectant for more, ready for more, accepting that there was more to come and gladly sticking her face out for me to…to…
"No…I'm not like this," I whimpered, looking down at my bloody knuckles, anger and despair overwhelming my mind. "I'm not…I'm not…you…I can't…I…I…"
More emotional than I had felt in so many years, logic all but abandoned me as I spun around and climbed clumsily out of the window, ready to push myself off and-
"Tobias NO!"
An agonising pain within my leg jerked me out of my internal suffering, only intensifying as I was tugged back through the open window, my back getting quite scratched up in the process.
"Let me go!" I screamed, looking back at Celestia and wincing at the image of her teeth firmly embedded in my bare skin, pulling me back. I tried to tug it out but was quickly overcome as she used her incredible strength and pulled me onto the floor with her mouth alone. Before I had so much as a second to try something else,
Celestia dived on top of me and held me down. I struggled with all my might to get free…but it was useless, I was too weak, I barely had any muscles left from the poisons' effects.
"Get off me!" I cried, flailing with everything I had against her. "GET OFF, I'll KILL YOU, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL KILL YOU!"
"Tobias, Tobias it's okay," she soothed, the strength in her soft voice quietening mine with little effort. "Shush, shhh, shhh. It's okay, it's going to be okay, shhh."
Relaxing against her…no, I couldn't relax, I couldn't! This was what she wanted, this was what she planned, she had to have! And so I pressed against her barrel, trying, failing, but trying with all I was to push her away from me.
Both hands, all I could, every thumb, every finger, all sixteen of them.
All…
I have eight fingers…
…
…
…
My eyes snapped open as a scream, hoarse and terrible erupted from within, escaping my mouth with such power it nigh ripped my throat open. I was in bed, covers over me for but a second and then…no longer as I threw them from me and-
"NO, NO, NO, LET ME GO!" I screamed, panic and fear fervent and powerful. I fought and struggled against my sudden captor, pushing, using my body, my hands and arms and even my teeth to break free.
"Honey it's me!" Celestia soothed, her voice calm yet frantic. "Shhh, it's okay, you realized and woke us both up. You're okay, you're okay I promise."
She rocked me gently in her grip as I stopped struggling, too confused, too hysterical to do anything but whimper like a little boy.
"Shhh, calm down, breathe with me…in…out…in…out..." her voice was lulling, so…comforting. "Oh I'm so sorry my darling, I didn't realize…I should have expected this reaction, I'm so sorry baby.
I tried…I was…I couldn't…
Hiccupping, breathing, unable to determine dreams from reality. Was this real, was I real?
It was too much…too much for me, for anyone to handle. All I could do was shuffle closer, bury myself deeper against her until I was safe, protected from the world.
Celestia, realizing what I was trying to accomplish spread both her feathered limbs out and around me, covering almost my entire body with her large, infinitely warm, soft wings. Emotions spiralling out of control as they were, breathing so difficult to steady, to keep normal, healthy.
"You were in my dreams Toby," Celestia whispered lovingly. "My milk helped us become closer than ever, don't you see? Yes…you do don't you?"
Her milk? It…made us dream together?
"Oh Toby, my wonderful Toby," she cooed gently, kissing me softly in the darkness of her embrace. "I've never felt as close to you as I do now…don't you feel the same way?"
…
I didn't answer, I just closed my eyes, pressed as close, as safe against her as humanly possible and tried with all I was not to cry anymore.
Celestia simply continued to rock me, hushing and humming, slow and lovely…so lovely, wonderful to hear.
Closer than ever…she can feel…me.
There was no escape now, and the worst part was that the thought of running away, of leaving her…didn't seem so good anymore. I liked how I felt then, protected from the world and only because of her.
I was trapped willingly…I didn't want to leave.
…
Celestia's smile was victorious that night.
Interlude coming tomorrow, tell me what you think please. It'd be good to have some feedback, positive or no.
Cya, stay snuggly!
