Celestia's Second Interlude – I've Finally Succeeded!
I've done it, at long last after almost an entire week…I've succeeded. The spell designed to bring me closer than ever to my precious human has borne fruit.
Oh how it feels to feel everything he does. Emotions not my own suddenly were, as my beloved Tobias soaked my very core, my soul with everything he was, he felt, he desired and waved away. His words in our shared dream hurt beyond anything, but were necessary in order for this to happen…and oh how jubilant I am that it did.
He was honest in the dream. He was scared of me, he wanted to hate me but couldn't, he wanted to run but couldn't see the world beyond me. And why should he, I am his world, all the world he will ever need.
Truth be told I have little idea what to call this plethora of emotion, that he feared, wanted to hate, to run away…but couldn't, wouldn't because HE LOVED ME!
Oh, how I wondered, despaired in agonising thought over whether my actions had caused the opposite to happen. But he didn't, he loved me, craved me as much as I craved him. He DID need me, despite his protesting in the dream world, he needed me so badly.
"And I'm here for you," I cooed quietly, all but lathering his sleeping mind with love and tenderness. "You'll never be alone again my love, I'll never abandon you…not like they did."
Emotions, feelings…and memories, coming slowly so as not to overwhelm my mind. For he did not just share his present…but also his past with our coupling.
And what a lonely life he led…
No friends in childhood, only those who used him in his awkward, easily manipulated teenage years. I can see the hurt, the anger as all those friends he supposedly had abused his friendship for money, for fun, their fun as they left him schoolwork upon heaps of schoolwork, all promising to introduce him to a female human, and more if he did it for them…but all broken!
Then when my beloved finally said NO, did they show their true colours and abandon him.
And then his mother, a kind woman once…now bitter and angry because of loss having the gall to shout and scream, to reprimand him as he yelled back…and then abandon him too.
Tobias wanted to go back to…to this?
No, now I knew with one hundred percent certainty that I was right in closing off his way back to that…horrible world. He belonged with me, how could I protect him in a world of hate and betrayal, where friendship was abused so readily and tossed aside when used up.
And when I allowed him to see the right memories…he would understand that leaving me was very, very silly. But I forgive him, because I love him and know now that he does love me back whether he admits it or not.
Of course some memories, my more…unpleasant war time nightmares are better left in the dark corner I willingly put and did all I could to forget. No, he will not see that, but perhaps…yes, some memories, memories of us together from my point of view.
That I wanted him to see, to feel as I felt, to understand what he was willing to abandon.
Not that I blame him, he choice was simply the result of backstabbing friends and a horrible life. Even as I see the 'break up' from his point of view, feel it as he did…I can see what he read in my stupidly unlocked diary was, in his mind, just another betrayal.
That he feels that way hurts me deeply, that he thinks I'd betray him at all is like a knife in my heart. But again, I understand why…and I swear on all that I am that I will spend eternity making up for him feeling so lonely and abandoned again.
He shuffles in my cradling hold, my wings with just a drop of strengthening magic easily holding him against my barrel, slowly rocking him, easing the shock as I allow certain memories to enter his mind. His earlier reaction was all I needed to remind myself just how unlike his mind is to a ponies. There is no herd mentality lingering in the background, just fight or flight.
It saddened me how his mind had reacted to the slightest touch of something else; reminding me of just how solitary the human race must be as a whole. That a brush of another mind could frighten one so badly…oh how I weep at my blunder.
But it did bring him closer to me.
The memory of him clinging to me, burying his face in my fur as he instinctively sought safety not away, not with another but with me and me alone made me feel more happy, more protective of him than I thought possible.
…but there is something, one thing left to fix.
Within the depths of his emotions, his thoughts was a small, but firm desire to leave me. There was a part of him, minor or no that wanted him to flee, to leave me, to leave Equestria and everything Pony behind. This was the part that feared me, that feared what I would do to keep him here.
I can see the fear in his memories, in the one where I not so subtly suggested that his leaving would result in a repeat poisoning. In the ones where he looked into my eyes and saw only cold, calculating intelligence…something I was unaware I did when I thought of how to keep him with me despite his dislike of who he believed me to be.
A ruthless, sadistic mare that did not love him but rather wanted to OWN him.
All so very mistaken of course. Yes I am possessive, as any mate who loves her male should be, if not then you clearly don't care for him as much as you believe you do. And yes I am a bit obsessed with him, but again what mate isn't a little bit?
I want to share my life with him, just the two of us. I want a wedding of my own with him as my husband, for the thought of my being his wife…oh it brings such joy within me. Children are impossible for an alicorn my age, but there are many ponies, griffons, zebra and many others out there who need a Mommy and Daddy.
But not for a while of course, Tobias needs all of my attention for the foreseeable future. He feels lost, alone, scared and needs me, his mate, his mare to love, care and fuss over him.
And when he awakens, when he opens his eyes and sees only me, feels only me…
His eyes open but a touch, snapping me out of my thoughts and into quick action, quickly placing his face in my fur so as to keep my own face from view.
"Go back to sleep honey," I croon softly in his ear, my mind focusing on nothing but tenderness, affection, love, a deep and powerful amalgamation quickly lulling him back to my sister's realm.
I have no need to sleep tonight, not when I can hold him like this and be the first thing he sees when I judge him ready to awaken.
Yes, he has no need for his home, his Earth. I am all my beloved Toby needs. Marriage will happen when it comes, and children…
Children can wait a few centuries.
(The final day will come…soon)
Like always, do tell me what you think in the comments. Each one just makes me want to write, write and write some more!
Cya, stay snuggly!
