xxxx

"What's on your mind?" Meghan asked me while I was bussing tables at work. Her question kind of caught me off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked as I picked up a soggy french fry.

"I mean you are clearly distracted!" She smiled at me curiously. Meghan was alright. She was good for Darry. She was real soften spoke, a real people pleaser. She wasn't huge into parties or drinking, but she knew how to have a good time.

"How do you figure?" I hadn't felt like I was distracted.

"You forgot table 4's take out boxes, and you hardly paid Mr. Smith any attention!" I hadn't even realized Mr. Smith was in here. He was a regular, a real sweet widower who came in here for human interaction. He had become kind of a crazy cat man. He was always taking in the strays. "So come on, what is it?" She was real easy to talk to normally, but I didn't know if this was a conversation for my brothers girl friend. But I knew what Angela would say if I talked to her.

"Okay," I finally scanned the diner making sure people were happy enough. "Help me with is chair leg." That was our code to buy us time. If the boss walked in and just saw us standing there talking he would separate us, but screwing the metal thing to prevent the chairs from being uneven was a two person job. Meghan looked excited that I was talking to her, and it occurred to me how lonely she must be with Darry gone in all. I needed to remember to talk to my mom about inviting her over for dinner more.

"You know Franki," I obviously knew she knew Franki but I had to start somewhere.

"Yeah, the brumbly whose got the hots for you, and he's easy on the eyes, that one right?" She patted my arm joking with me.

"Yeah, that one. Well, he wants to have sex," I spun the chair leg around just for something to do. I wasn't real sure it was suppose to move that way. If it wasn't broken before, it is now.

"Aw Honey, he's a boy, all boys do." She gave me that aw your so young and innocent look old people give.

"So, I should just sleep with him?" I just needed someone to tell me what to do. I didn't really care either way.

" Not if you don't want to! He doesn't get to decide with out you!" The way she spoke made me feel stupid for even asking.

"But, why wouldn't I want to, I mean he is good lookin, and he treats me good, so why not?"

"Right, he is good looking, are ya'll really in love? It is your first time, your first time is never that great, there's always that risk of getting knocked up even if your careful, sure it's great in all, but only if its with the right guy at the right time." Her questions and statements made my head spin. Were we in love? I mean really in love, not just the typical high school love? I'm not about to have a baby, not even when hell freezes over. Not with the hottest man on this earth. It is my first time and it isn't his, does that matter? She must have sensed that I was worrying about it, because she grabbed the chair and sat me in it.

"Your first time should matter, you should be able to talk to him about this. Mar, if you can't then he's not the one to do it with." I kinda wanted to throw up a little when she said that because I knew she was talking about Darry, but as I opened my mouth the chair leg broke off and I landed on my back on the ground taking the table down with me making a loud noise and a hot mess. Meghan as well as everyone in the restaurant got a kick out of that. It didn't help that my roller bladed made it next to impossible to get up. James came up from the back picking up the table and taking the chair outside. He just shook his head. He was a buddy of Franki, so I hoped like hell he didn't hear our conversation.

As my shift ended I clocked out waving to Meghan before seeing Franki.

"Hey baby," he opened the door for me. I really liked being around Franki, and I could see a future with him, and I was a little afraid that if I held out on him he would try to find someone else. He must have been able to tell that I was deep in thought because he asked me about it.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" He had his hand on my knee.

"Us" I looked over to him.

"Oh yeah, how so?" he grinned a little.

"You tell me you love me, but I just want to be sure," he gave me a funny look as if I had three heads.

"Of course I love you, why would you ask?"

"Do you want to have sex because you love me?"

"Mary," He pulled his truck over.

"No, I'm serious. You've had sex multiple times, have you loved everyone you had sex with?" I could tell my question threw him off guard.

He stuttered a bit before beginning, "no, I have not loved all of them. I also haven't waited this long in my past relationships. It's different with you," he was trying to flatter me and it was working.

"How can I be sure?" I was still skeptical.

"Well then I guess you'll just have to trust me," he shot me a movie star smile before pulling back onto the road.

"I still don't think I should lie to my parents, maybe I should just tell them the truth." My parents were pretty rational they would at least listen.

"NO way, are you off your rocker? Your dad would kill me! You can not tell them! Jesus Curtis, don't be such a goodie goodie, live a little." He looked like he had just seen a ghost.

"Franki," I sighed as he pulled outside my house.

"Maybe we should forget it," he told me as I opened the door.

"Forget what? Us or the sex?" he didn't answer me he just pulled off before my door was even closed all the way. My heart was pounding and my head was spinning. What just happened?

"4 times mom, 4 times people asked me if Pony was my real name," Pony wined not being helpful in the kitchen.

"Only 4 times, please, that's nothing," Soda mocked him noticing me walk in. "Hey Mar," he greeted me.

"Rough first day back?" I asked taking the potato from Pony and peeling it.

"I'm just saying did you get tired of regular names after Mary? Could ya'll not think of anything else ending in an ry? What about Garry, or Berry?" Pony was not about to let it go.

"You don't really look like a Garry or a Berry," Soda added as my Dad came in the front door.

"How was everyone's first day?" he collectively asked us. Mom made him take most of his clothes off outside because they were nasty and stinky, so she always had him laid out a fresh set of clothes sitting on the end table.

"Don't even get Pony started on his name," Soda warned and Pony took swat at him and it lead to a full wrestling match on our floor. Not anything too unusual. My dad stood over them being the judge. My mom laughed along, she knew there was no use in telling them to be careful, so she just watched beside me.

"Say uncle!" Soda ordered.

"No!" Pony struggled. Before long Pony eventually gave in and said Uncle, but not for a lack of trying.

"Alright kids, wash up dinner's ready." Mom shooed up out.

"You know ma, I ate at the diner on my break. I guess I forgot how hungry learning made me. I'm gonna sit this one out." I tried to be convincing, and I hoped Soda and Pony were enough of a distraction that she would be too preoccupied. I had learned how to fall with in the cracks of my family. I had mastered how to stay out of the way and be unnoticed. I liked it that way, I just didn't have the same things in common with my brothers, they were all so similar, they had the same friends, liked the same things, I just didn't really fit that. Individually I had a pretty good relationship with all of them. Darry and I always got along, we were so close in age we usually had enough to talk about, and then everyone really got along with Soda, and Pony he would always be the baby, and I will always look at him that way. He's just so young and innocent, and smart and he'll go somewhere. I always liked hanging around him because he was quiet, but sometimes he would say the most off the wall things. It was the same with my parents, I didn't play football with my dad and the guys, and I didn't share their love for cars and football, but my dad and I had out own stuff. We liked talking about the past. What it was like when he grew up, how he survived loosing his brother, and then his parents. He had a lot of wisdom, but if you didn't ask him you would miss it.

Then there's my mom who I swear was a saint. She just had this laid back easy going personality. She had this signature head nod she did when any of us did anything dumb or did anything that she ultimately had to fix. I had only ever seen her mad a couple times, and when she was it was always over reasonable things. She really liked to live in the present, and be thankful for the now. Her and I spent a pretty good bit of time together in the summer. She showed me how to do stitches, she showed me my way around the kitchen, and how to sew. But, she did it in a way fun way, not the typical, "I'm showing you how to do all of this so you can do it when you become a house wife." I truly just enjoyed my mom's company.

We had this wooden porch swing that was probably my favorite place in the world. Where it was positioned gave it a nice breeze in the summer, and it protected from the cold in the winter. I hadn't even realized I had lost track of time until my mom came out. I looked over to her," Ready to clean up already?" I asked her assuming that's why she came out.

"Oh, the boys can get it, it'll do them some good." She sat beside me. We both rocked back and forth, she had her hand on my knee circling it a bit.

"You miss Darry mom?" I don't know what brought that up. It wasn't like I was trying to say something because of the uncomfortable silence. I had thought about him today. It was weird not seeing him in the hall ways. He as the only one besides my dad who called me Myra.

"Oh, of course. I miss him being around, but he's happy, and there's a feeling you get when your kids happy that makes you not miss them so much. His hard work paid off," she pulled a loose hair and put it behind my ear. I nodded agreeing with her. It made since as to why they never seemed to emotional. I always thought parents sending their first born off would make them sad or something.

"Mar," she said my name then paused. We stopped rocking and I looked over to her. "You don't seem happy." My heart jumped a little when she said that.

"Oh, I am Ma, I've just had a long day," I didn't want her to think that I was unhappy.

"It's not just today Honey, I know it is different for you and you don't have a bunch of friends the same was your brothers do, but I want you to be included more. I want you to feel like you fit in." She continued stroking my hair, but we weren't rocking anymore. I didn't know if I needed to get defensive, or what my emotion should be.

"It's just different with girls is all." I wasn't really sure if it were different with all girls or just me.

"I just wish you would put yourself out there more." This conversation was all too familiar.

"Man, we've talked about this every year since I got to middle school when ya'll made me try out for cheerleading. I am fine. Please don't worry." I really didn't want her to waste time thinking about my happiness.

"Well, what was Franki's problem when he dropped you off today. He spud out of here like his pants were on fire." My mom always knew what was going on.

"He just gets hot headed I guess." I didn't really know how else to respond.

"Yeah, I know a thing or two about hot headed men," she nudged me. I knew who she was referring to. Or whatever the plural of who was because everyone but Soda was hot headed.

"Sometimes, I just don't really know why he dates me is all."

"You love him," she told me plainly.

"Yeah, I do, but Ma, I'm not sure he loves me. Lately he's just so not himself. Like he was asking me to get off work, and he's more forced about hanging out. He's just not really as honest as I thought he was." I knew better than to tell my mom my boy friend wants to have sex, because even though I'm not too far from 18, I would not test her authority to lock me up and throw away the key.

"Honey, all boys are the same at his age. Darry was, Soda already is with that Sandy, it's only a matter or time. But it's different with girls, and it shouldn't be. The girl just has more to worry about." She started rocking again and I wondered if we were talking about what I thought we were talking about.

"Ma, he wants me to lie and he wants to go to Buck's he wants to drink, and do stuff I know you and dad wouldn't approve of." I decided to go all in here.

"Well, I think the real question is do you want to? Because there comes a time in your life when you can't only do things to please your parents, and I would hate for you to be unhappy just because your parents are old school. You have to develop your own standards and I'd like to think you are mature enough to know right from wrong." She paused when she could tell I wasn't understanding how she was saying this.

"Honey you are young, you are beautiful, you have to live you life. Mess up sometimes, take a risk. We aren't going to disown you if you let us down. You don't have to be so afraid." Wow, what an awesome mom. Not everyone had parents who would invest in their children's happiness so much.

I was left speechless, I could only nod my head. We swung for a little while longer in silence before she gracefully stood up and walked back into the house. I followed her in a little bit later after I thought I had figured out what I was going to do.

"Myra, tell me how you first day was," he grabbed my arm pulling me to the arm of his chair.

"Yeah, dad, it was good, I lucked out and I have an easy name. Even easier because no one has ever heard of Curtis since Darry took the smart people classes. That won't be the case for Pony, they will expect him to be as smart as Darry. Now, Soda and I, we lucked out." I winked at Soda on the couch.

"I'm not even sure where to begin with that," my dad rubbed his forehead, but I think deep down he knew I was right.

"Don't worry Dad, Darry and Pony may have gotten the brains, but Soda and I, we got the personality," I kissed him before standing up.

"Yeah, you better run," Dad shook his head laughing. It must have been a hard day at work, he looked especially tired and worn out. I hoped it rained for him soon so he could get a day off. I knew he liked being busy for the money, but it really wore out his body. He was developing and unhealthy relationship to aspirin. By the time I got to my room and got everything ready for the next day it was already time for bed, and before I knew it my alarm was going off.

I was alone in the kitchen, but I could tell my mom had been here because the coffee pot was on. I beat the guys to the bathroom like usual and got ready before any of them functioning.

"Mary," my mom knocked on the door before opening it. That was unusual.

"Franki's here." Even if we hadn't had a fight last night and he were just coming over before school like he always did he was 45 minutes early. I looked at her like she had spoken a foreign language.

"You look fine, go talk to him," she encouraged pulling on one of my curls. I walked out and saw him standing in the family room holding flowers. I couldn't fight the smile that spread across my face.

"Aw, Franklin, you shouldn't have gotten Mrs. Curtis flowers, you're making me look bad, son," he put him hand on my shoulder. I knew he was kidding, but I wondered what my mom told him about our conversation last night.

"Darrell hush," mom playfully scolded him. "Mary I'll put them in a vase for you," my mom took them from me leaving me no excuse not to talk to him.

"Actually I came to talk to you, well both of you. I want to take Mary out tonight, and I want it to be special," he never ceased to surprise me. Was he about to ask my parents if it was okay for us to have sex? Was I going to let him.

"How is this going to be any more special than every other time you take her out?" My mom must have told him something, because usually in the mornings he was running around like a mad man to get ready.

"Sir, I'm eighteen, she's almost eighteen, and before you know it we will both be walking across the stage at graduation. We aren't little kids any more, I wanted Mary to lie to you, to tell ya'll she was at work and to sneak around with me, but she insisted that she wouldn't lie to you. You've raised a classy daughter sir, I love her and I want to be with her." I had never been more impressed by him then I was just then.

"What exactly are you asking to do with my daughter, let me remind you she's my only daughter, so I would proceed with caution here," Dad didn't look necessarily angry or threatening, but he wasn't joking either. I wasn't sure what was about to happen.

"Now Darrell, just listen to what the boy has to say, don't make fun of him," Mom stepped in a little.

"I want you to trust her, and to give us an opportunity to go out like adults with no predetermined conditions, time frames, or restrictions." He must have rehearsed what he was going to say because he looked very confident.

My dad looked over to my mom like they were telepathically communicating. Finally he spoke up, "I trust her, I always have," and looked over at me and then back to Franki, "it's you I doubt. But she shouldn't be punished for that. Be careful, have fun," he brushed my me walking to his room. He didn't squeeze my arm or kiss my cheek like he normally did, but I didn't notice the impact of that right away.

"Well, I don't want to stay, I know you have to drive the kids to school, but I'll pick you up at 7, and bring you back in the morning?" He looked from me to my mom.

"Don't push your luck, Franklin," mom warned him. He kissed me quickly and walked out the door.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I put my car in park outside her house like I had millions of times, but it felt different. I wanted to say I felt free and I felt relieved that her parents pretty much gave us the okay to do what ever we wanted, but it was almost the opposite. I was looking forward to the challenge of sleeping with her, but I was not about to give up now. I had invested too damn long to not finish it off. I was a lot of things, but I was not a quitter.

I knocked on her door before walking in. The greasers were all sitting around playing some cards, well most of them anyway greasers all really looked the same to me. I didn't have a problem with the greasers, they didn't usually rub us Brumbley's the wrong way, but we weren't exactly buddies or nothing like that.

"Well ain't you looking spiffy, it's like you were thrown up out of a story book," Dallas Winston spoke so poetically. Sometimes I really hated that guy. He was a real pain in the hood. He didn't have the slightest bit of a care for right or wrong. He just did what ever he damn well please.

Luckily Mary and her Mamma came in before I had to respond. It wouldn't be like it was to first time I got into it with Dally, but it would probably put a damper on the mood. Not that Mary got to aggravating about fighting. Some chicks hated rumbles and they hated it when boys fought, but Mary couldn't care less. She always just stayed out of it.

"Damn Mar, you're dressing up this much for this thug, I'd like to see what you'd do for a real guy," Dally stood up and watched.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," she smiled. She had a smile like her mamma and a laugh like her dad.

"Mary help me in the kitchen real quick before you leave," her mom looked calm, but I knew better.

"Where's Mr Curtis?" I asked the guys. I was worried he would be here threatening me.

"Working," Soda answered when no one else did.

"No tell me Tanner, what do ya'll have planned tonight? You thinking you're going to get lucky?" Two-bit wasn't exactly being quiet, but he was quitter than usual. I knew he didn't want Mrs. Curtis to hear.

"I wouldn't get your hopes up, word is that's no man land, if you know what I mean," Dally nudged Two-bit. Two-bit and Randle laughed, but Pony and the other kid whose name I never can remember looked like they were about 6 different kinds of uncomfortable.

"You know that's my sister right?'' Soda spoke up, but he was smiling a little too. It's not like him and Sandy hadn't explored this territory. Personally I didn't see what Sandy and Soda saw in each other, but they were like two love birds right off the bat.

Mary came around around the corner before I had to try to think of something to say, and she did look real nice. "Mary," I started but she grabbed my hand and lead me outside before I finished. We got to the car and still she hadn't said anything.

"I'm real sorry about yesterday. Sometimes I just go kinda crazy, you make me crazy Mary," I meant that as a compliment, she wasn't the type to read too much into things, which was good because that was aggravating.

"Well, I will admit, I can't stay mad when you come in and talk to my parents like that." I could tell that she had forgiven me by the way she looked at me. You could read her eyes like a book. This might not be as hard as I thought it was going to be.

"Mary Curtis, I am so very relieved to hear you say that," I kissed her as I was driving. She always tensed up when I did it like she was afraid I would crash, but I knew she wouldn't say anything because she was always the last one to nag.

"Where're we headed anyway?" She asked looking out the window.

"Buck's, a buddy of mine is in the cooler, I cleaned it up made it real romantic for us." I raised an eye brow at her.

"Okay," she nodded. I wasn't going to ask her why she didn't sound more excited because I didn't want to open that can of warms. I wasn't about to talk to her about her feelings or any shit like that. Instead I kissed her when we parked before I went to open her door.

"Baby, you gotta relax," I hand my hands on her shoulders. I could tell she was anxious, and if I was a gentleman I would have cared, but honestly I didn't. After tonight I couldn't care less what happened. I couldn't wait to rub it in Daniels' face that I did what he couldn't. Daniel was a brumly. He was my friend and all but with the girls he could be such a pompous ass. Then again, I would beat any body to a pulp who messed with Daniel. I would expect him to do the same. That's part of the reason why I knew that Mary and I would never be long term. Although she may not necessarily act like a greaser or may not even really associate herself with them she still technically was one, and the greasers and the brumly just didn't quite mix. Sure, brumly's were greasers, but greasers were not brumlys. We were harder, tuffer, badder, we went out and searched for trouble, and although Mary hadn't fussed over me much, or even complained when I've been in the cooler, it simply wouldn't work out.

"What do you want to drink?" I hoped she would drink something strong, it's not like I had to sneak her back in her house her parents were way more cool than I expected.

"I'm okay," she said with out even thinking about it much.

"Mar, come on!" I coaxed.

"Okay, fine" she sighed. I went off and got some beers. On my way I ran into Daniel. I knew he would be at Buck's, but it made it that much sweeter that I'd be able to rub his nose into it twice.

"Hey Man," he raised his glass to me. I motioned to the bar keep to gimme two which caught Daniel's attention.

"You're not here with Mary?" He questioned me in disbelief.

"About to lock and load baby," I had a wide grin on my face, but he almost looked happy for me. Not the surprised reaction I would have expected. Not jealous or anything. The next part threw me off the handle bars.

"Be careful not to let her slip through your fingers, hold on to her," he threw money down for my drinks and was gone. I didn't understand why he said that, because when they broke up he didn't have a good thing to say about her. He's the one that bet no one could get in her pants.

"Here baby," I handed it to her as I held her close. Mary loved to dance and she was pretty good at it too. Better than anyone I knew. We danced to two songs on the juke box. She had drunk about half her drink, and I was certain even a light weight like her wouldn't feel a buzz from it. Still, I was ready to do the dirty and pulled her upstairs. "You really are beautiful, you know?" I learned from a young age that women loved to hear shit like that. It was pretty simple to get her into bed, much easier than I had anticipated. I lead the way and she just followed right along. When we finished I rolled over on the bed. Her head was on my chest.

"Not bad Mar," I kinda of laughed. I figured she didn't really know what to say. She wasn't one to just speak with out having something to say.

"I'll give it to you, for your first time, damn!" I went too far. Unlike Mary, I was feeling my buzz.

"Why do you sound so surprised!" She laughed at my enthusiasm.

"I mean I thought you'd hold back, after all, all you and Daniel did was kiss! I thought i'd have to do a lot of work to accomplish what we just accomplished." If I would have stopped there I probably would have been okay, but I didn't.

"Did Daniel tell you that?" She still wasn't mad, but I could tell she wasn't laughing anymore.

"Well I mean yeah, what else would he have said when ya'll have broken up?" And that became the shot that was heard around the word.

"He told you we broke up because I wouldn't sleep with him!" Mary repeated.

"Baby, I don't understand why you're getting so upset?" I put my hand on her back.

"Because it's not true! Why were you talking to him about me any way?" She was starting to get a little angry.

"Baby, we weren't talking about you like that! He just said he didn't think you'd let a hood like us sleep with you. He wasn't saying anything bad, I wouldn't have let him!" I thought I was saying all the right things, but in fact more more I talked the more feet were jabbed into my mouth.

"So you had to prove him wrong is that it? Is that why you were so mad when i told you I didn't want to, and why you came over to my house this morning? You wanted to prove him wrong so badly?" She was no longer laying on the bed she was putting her clothes back on and was about to leave upset, I knew I had to move fast.

"It ain't like that Mar! I wanted to sleep with you cause I wanted to sleep with you, I would have done it even if Daniel didn't tell me I couldn't!"

"Was any of it real? Do you even really love me?" She gave me a pathetic look that even almost made me feel bad.

"I mean sure, but we're from two different worlds, we're graduating at the end of the year there's no telling where either of us will be!" I grabbed on to her arm.

"So this is it?" She didn't fight my grip. I knew she wanted me to say no.

"Yeah, I guess." I could have told her no, that we could keep seeing each other, but I knew that I was already getting bored.

She was gone faster than I could blink.

AN: i wanted to keep the sex scene pretty pg, because I wasn't real sure what people wanted, but now the serious stuff is over. the next chapter is one with Dally, so it should be a kick. Let me know what you're thinking. Are my chapters too long?