Esme
The drive to Seattle felt too long. All I could think about was Charles now that Carlisle was not with me. Even now, while I walk around with my daughters, I can't help but remember all those memories from when I was still a human. Could I marry Carlisle? Will I be strong enough to go through another wedding without knowing if everything will change about the man like last time? Carlisle had told me that he would never think of doing anything to hurt me intentionally, no matter how small, but could I believe that? I did last time and look how that turned out.
"Esme?" Alice asked for the third time. "Are you okay?"
I hadn't realised that she was talking to me. We had stopped walking and the look of concern on their faces broke my heart. There was a bench behind me and I sat down. Bella sat beside me and took my hand.
"Tell us." Rosalie spoke quietly, and it was the kindest tone I had ever heard come from her.
"I can't marry him…" I choked out.
"Why not?" Alice asked.
"What if he isn't who he says he is?"
"He isn't Charles." Rosalie said.
"Carlisle is probably the kindest, warmest most caring person you will ever meet. He doesn't break promises, he sticks to his word. He definitely won't hurt you at all, not intentionally. Never once has he ever gotten close to actually hurting any of us. He may raise his voice occasionally, but that's as far as it gets." Bella assured.
"That's how people used to describe Charles before I was forced into marrying him."
"Esme, Carlisle is nothing like him, and I know it. I can see it. He will treat you like his queen." Alice smiled.
"And I can't ask him to deal with me."
"He doesn't have to deal with anything. It happens with Rosalie too sometimes, he won't mind." Alice said. "He loves you, Esme."
I felt a small smile spread across my face, which caused the 3 girls to smile too.
"Okay, let's go find a dress!" Alice said excitedly.
"I didn't even need to come; you're just going to pick what you want." I said.
"Very true." She admitted.
"So can I run home? I don't really want to shop today." I asked her.
Alice sighed, "You don't even want a chance at a say in your dress?"
"I know what you will pick is what I'll look best in."
"Fine." She agreed.
I smiled and kissed her cheek, then Rosalie's, then Bella's before leaving. I walked for a while, giving Carlisle a chance to finish his shift before I showed up at the hospital.
I walked in just when he walked through the doors into the waiting room. 2 of the nurses were standing in there again. Was that just their spot? They stared at me again.
His faced turned to worry, and I realised how upset I must have looked. Mostly from the guilt I was feeling for ever doubting Carlisle.
"Esme, are you—" He glanced over at the nurses who had said something about how sad I was looking. One asked the other if they thought we had a fight. He walked over and took my hand, pulling me forwards and up to his office.
He closed the door behind us and threw his bag onto the chair close to the door. "Esme, is everything okay?"
I looked downwards, not knowing how to explain. I felt his arms wrap around me and his lips press to my forehead.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"For what?"
"For being you. For not being anything like Charles. For loving me."
"You seem to be thanking me a lot lately for that. If I'm not mistaken, it seems you have been doubting yourself recently." He put his hand underneath my chin and gently tilted my head to look at him. "Why can't you see how perfect you are?"
"Can anyone?"
"You can, if you believe me." He planted a soft kiss on my lips.
"I wouldn't go as far as to say perfect, but I can tell you that I like who I am ever since I met you."
"Good." He kissed me again.
"Carlisle, I doubted you today before our daughters reassured me. I was convinced in my mind that I couldn't marry you. That you were going to be like him, seen as perfect until we actually marry. That you didn't love me. I'm lucky that the girls were there or I would be on my way across the country by now. I'm sorry."
He was silent for a while. "Esme, if that's how you see me, then maybe we shouldn't marry. I don't want to accidently hurt you without realising and you thinking I was like him."
"No, no. I don't see you that way at all. You are perfect; people just told me that he was. They were wrong obviously. There is a feeling in my gut that just tells me that I'm right about this one…" I smiled.
He snickered, "Esme, I promise never to hurt you in any way that's possible for me to avoid, and I am very glad that you are deciding that you want to be my wife." He smiled.
I kissed him gently, but showed slight aggression. I made it last, not wanting to part. When we did part, I rested my forehead against his and smiled.
"I love you," He assured, "with all my heart and for eternity."
"I love you too." I kissed him again, shorter this time.
"Let's go home."
"I'm sure those nurses will love that we're not fighting…" I said sarcastically.
He grabbed my hand. When we entered the waiting room he stopped walking and kissed me passionately. Although it was just to show up he nurses, I felt weak at the knees. How long would that last after marriage? The kiss was sensual, and I suddenly couldn't wait for marriage.
When we made it to his car and he started driving out of the car park, I decided to bring up some scenarios. I asked what he would do in each one. He was in a good mood, so most of his answers made me laugh.
"Wait, I thought you were shopping with the girls?"
"Well, after my little freak out, I decided I was going to come and see you instead. I think Alice already had a dress in mind anyway." I smiled.
"No doubting that." He agreed.
We were sitting on the couch downstairs. The boys were playing a different video game now, one that all 3 of them could participate in. Occasionally we would hear one of them curse, and Carlisle would go to yell at them before I put my finger to his lips to stop him.
"They're getting along really well. Don't ruin it." I smiled.
"They don't need to curse to do that…"
"That's how Edward and Emmett communicate." I laughed.
"They're bad influences on my children." He joked.
"I'll kick them out then!" I was still smiling.
"Please don't!" We heard Edward call down.
"No guarantees!" I called back.
