Chapter 11

The pounding of her door woke her up from her sleep, after tossing and turning for most of the night (what was left of it), she finally fell asleep a few hours ago only to be woken up now. She briefly wondered if it was Jason, no, that was a lie, she knew it was Jason. And the only reason why he hadn't simply let himself in was because she flipped the dead bolt in place, effectively shutting him and the rest of the world out. But for how long?

"SAM! IT'S ME, OPEN THE DOOR NOW OR I'LL BREAK IT DOWN!" Jason bellowed out.

Yup, not long. Turning towards her night stand, she turned her phone on, 10 missed calls. 2 were from Aidan, 1 from Lucky and the rest were from Jason. Wait a minute… Didn't Aidan say he lost his phone? Before she could think on it further….

"DAMN IT SAM! OPEN UP!"

Instead of answering his call, she rolled out of bed and went to answer the door. She wasn't in the mood to take any of his crap today, yesterday was intense and she was only running on maybe 2 or 3 hours of sleep, her head was aching and her muscles were screaming in pain. She reached for the dead bolt and took a deep breath as she opened the door, moving out of the way as Jason came barreling through looking pissed off. "I'm surprised you even noticed I was gone." She closed the door and walked up to him with her head held high. She was ready to fight.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean Sam, of course I noticed!" Jason took a moment to take in her appearance, her body was tense, her shoulders squared, her head held high, she was strong and ready to take him on but the sadness in his eyes told him otherwise. "Why did you leave last night?" He softened his voice and knew that it threw her off her game.

Sam was ready to argue, she was ready to throw all of his mistakes in his face, but hearing the guilt in his voice and seeing the hurt in his eyes, she sank onto the couch defeated. She was bone tired and she wouldn't be able to keep up with her charade. "I didn't feel like I belonged." She lowered her eyes to the floor, she could see Jason as he moved to sit on the coffee table in front of her.

Jason's heart hurt to hear the defeat and sadness in her voice. He tried to reach for her hand and cringed when she pulled it out of reach. She wasn't ready for him to hold her yet. "Of course you belong, you always belong with me. Why didn't you wait?"

"I did." She looked up into his blue eyes. "I waited but when I thought that you weren't coming back, I just couldn't be there anymore, I left."

"Why? I came back, I came back to be with you, but you weren't there. Your jacket and shoes were gone. I was on my here but when you didn't pick up your phone when I called you, I figured that you wanted to be alone. I was going out of my mind Sam." He reached again for her hand, thankful that she finally let him. "She just had a bad dream, it was really hard on her yesterday…"

"Hard? Hard Jason?" She pulled her hand and stood up abruptly. "How hard was it for her to sit her ass down at the penthouse? How hard was it for her to follow the plan? She messed everything up!"

"No." Jason stood up and shook his head. He backed away to give her enough room so that he wouldn't tower over her. "It was all ready messed up, it was all a setup. The Balkan already knew what we were planning…"

"Come on Jason, that's impossible. They probably figured it out when she left the penthouse!"

"They already knew Sam! Lucky's cover was blown, the Balkan knows that he isn't Ronan. Those guys were heavily armed with guns, grenades, and enough C-4 to blow up the entire warehouse. That was their plan, they were going to surround us and blow it up! We were lucky to get out of there alive!"

"YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE! You were too busy making sure that Brenda was ok. YOU LEFT ME!" She balled up her fists at her sides, fire was blazing from her eyes. Aidan's words were repeating through her mind.

"NO!" Jason shook his head furiously. "It wasn't like that Sam and you know it."

"DO I?!"

"Brenda's not like you Sam! She can't handle this life!" Jason yelled, not liking where this was heading, she was suddenly doubting him and there love. Had he really messed up that bad?

"Then why is she here? Why the fuck is she shacked up with a mob enforcer? Why is she all over Sonny? He's not some fucking accountant Jason… HE'S THE MOB BOSS! If she can't handle this life then she needs to get her scrawny ass back to Rome!" Wow, that felt good. Sam couldn't remember the last time she was unable to release all her pent up emotions. She felt her tears fall and she wiped at them quickly.

Seeing her tears, Jason felt sick. He lowered his voice and took a breath to remain calm. "She's here because she needs my help. I'm her friend Sam. I can't just turn my back on her." He took a step towards her, his heart clenched when she took one away. He didn't like this distance between them. "As soon as I find the Balkan, she'll be gone, to Sonny's, to Rome, I don't care, but she will be out of my life. We won't let her affect us…"

"Don't you see? She already affects us."

"How?"

She took a deep breath, she knew what was coming, another fight and she prepared herself for it. "What secret are you keeping from me?" Seeing the guilt in his eyes made her heart clench. "I just don't get it, I know she killed his son…. I just don't know why or how. What is the big fucking secret?"

It hurt him to know that he was going to hurt her. It really wasn't a big deal. Brenda had killed the Balkan because he was obsessed with her, but instead of doing the right thing according to Brenda's standards, she had Dante dump the body off somewhere. If anyone found out, she could go to jail for murder and Dante for assisting. He knew he could trust Sam, he trusted her with his life, but he promised that he wouldn't say anything. And the last thing he wanted for Sam to know where Alex's body was hidden, just another reason for the Balkan to come after her. "I'm sorry. I promised not to say anything." He wanted to kill himself the way her face fell. He felt like such a jerk. He hurt her, she would never understand he was trying to protect her and Brenda.

That hurt. She wiped at her tears sniffing as she nodded her head as if in acceptance. "Just like you promised Elizabeth you wouldn't tell me about Jake?"

He was shocked that she brought that up. They had promised to leave the past in the past, not to throw each other's mistakes back in their faces. "Why would you even go there? It's NOT the same and you know it!"

"Of course it's the same! Once again you're keeping a secret from me, a secret that you have with another woman! Don't you get it Jason? I feel like the outsider here, you've built up a wall so high, you and Brenda on one side and me on the other, and no matter how hard I try I can't seem to tear it down! You continually chose her over me!"

"NO! NO! I never meant for you to feel that way, I swear it Sam. It has nothing to do with us! Don't let this affect us, come on, we are stronger than this, better than this. I love you with everything that I have."

"Then tell me the truth."

Dropping his head in defeat, Jason knew that he was going to hurt her, but it wasn't right for her to force the issue. This had nothing to do with them and he was not going to tell her to keep her safe. Why was he so wrong? "I can't."

She was hurt, a direct hit to her heart. He wasn't going to tell her and she had to accept it, but not now. "Then you can go."

"Sam…" He couldn't believe that she was going to kick him out.

"I can't do this today Jason. Last night was intense and I'm dead tired, I can't do this, so please, just go."

Sighing in defeat, Jason realized they weren't going to solve this today. He would go now and call her later. He walked heavily to the door, his heart was breaking that he hurt her, he just wished that she would understand. "I love you Sam." He whispered in her ear, gave a sweet kiss to her cheek and walked out the door.

"I love you too." She answered to no one, to an empty apartment. Why couldn't he just tell her, damn it? What was the big deal? She never kept anything from him… now. She still had her secrets from the past but they weren't going to affect their relationship like this. He knew what him keeping Jake from her had done to them. It broke them apart. So much love and trust was gone between them for so long. They had finally had their love back and now he was willing to do this again, and for what? For Brenda? Ok, yes, she was his friend and they had known each other a long time, but Sam was his girlfriend.

She sat there thinking about all that they had gone through, all the people in their lives. Did Sam keep any secrets from him now? No. Jason had said that it had nothing to do with them. So this secret was just about her. She was his friend and he kept a secret for her.

All of a sudden, Sam was feeling like a complete jerk. So what if he was keeping a secret for Brenda? Sam has some about her family, about Maxie, and Spinelli, that she had promised not to say anything to anyone not even Jason. Because they wouldn't affect her and Jason's relationship. She felt like an ass, like a complete jerk, instead of standing by his side, she yelled at him and threw him out. He was right, they were better than this. Feeling an over whelming urge to apologize. She ran to her room, got dressed and ran out the door.

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Riding up the elevator at Harbor View Towers, Sam thought about all the events that had been happening for the past week and how they have taken a toll on her and Jason's relationship. Was she pissed off that he was guarding Brenda? No. Was she pissed off that Brenda was living with him? Hell yes. There was a perfectly empty penthouse right across from his, but because she was a complete spoiled brat that did dumb and reckless things, he couldn't keep her out of his sight. Reminds you of a two year old going through their terrible twos. In a way Sam understood, Brenda wasn't capable of protecting herself and who better to do it than the local mob enforcer, oh yeah and her ex husband. Sam cringed at that last thought, she didn't want to think about Jason being married to that super model and do gooder, Courtney was bad enough with her angelic wings and halo, now she had to deal with a freaking model. Oh great. Sam remembered seeing her for the first time, she was really pretty, beautiful silky hair, big dark eyes, and thin, if you like that kind of thing. And while Sam loved to eat cheeseburgers and drink beer, Brenda was into organic everything and plain water. Talk about night and day. Jason had told her repeatedly that he loved her and that he wanted to be with only her. She should be happy, ecstatic even, but hadn't he said that before.

Now shaking THOSE thoughts from her head, she needed to stay on the task at hand: Apologize to Jason. They had gotten into it earlier that day, she fought with him, stupidly accused him of basically being the person he had always been, a protector and a great friend, and she practically through him out of her apartment when Brenda 'Organic' Barrett called with her latest crisis. Even though he was keeping her secret, Sam had some of her own, she now understood. It wasn't fair of her, she had always told him that she would never change him and that's exactly what she was doing. She knew there was nothing going on between Jason and Brenda, she knew that Brenda loved and wanted to be with Sonny, Sam just hated not being a priority, or at least in the top five. Ok, that wasn't fair, since they had gotten back together, she was up there. Sighing heavily, she stepped off the elevator and headed towards Jason's penthouse only to run into Max and Milo, her favorite guards. "Hey guys." She waved smiling up at them. "Is Jason in?"

"Yeah, Mr. M and Miss Barrett are home." Max said as he opened the penthouse door for her. He noticed how her smile faltered and he wanted to fix it. "But Mr. C will be coming over to take Miss Barrett out on date." Her smile was back and Max was happy to see it. He had always cared for Sam, she was the best thing that ever happened to Jason and she was really nice and great to all the employees.

"Thanks Max." She smiled brightly and walked in only to find the first floor completely empty. She figured that with Jason and Brenda in the same room together, there would be a whole lot of screaming and fighting going on, but the only noise she heard was Max shutting the door behind her. Kind of perplexed at the quiet surroundings, Sam decided to head up to the stairs thinking that maybe they were in their own rooms. 'He probably sent her to her room for a time out.' Chuckling to her thought, she called out to him. "Jason…" No answer. Rounding the corner of the hallway, Sam headed to Jason's room feeling a little uneasy. "Jason…" She called again, a sense of worry set in. Normally he would have responded by now.

Coming to a stop at his bedroom door, Sam noticed that it was cracked slightly, which was an odd thing all in itself, Jason was a private person. "Jason?" She called again, feeling a chill run up her spine, she felt it, something bad was about to happen, she accepted it, anticipated it almost but what she found when she took a deep breath and opened the door was completely unexpected….. Jason and Brenda asleep in bed together….. Naked.

The sight before her completely destroyed her, her heart shattered into a million pieces, she couldn't breathe to scream, couldn't breathe to let him know that she was there, her knees suddenly buckled and she stumbled back up against the far wall. OH God! She covered her mouth with her hand to prevent the sob that was about to explode. Jason and Brenda, in his bed, their bed…. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…. She had to get out of there. She couldn't be there a minute longer, she needed to leave, needed to leave to get herself together, she was this close to dropping on the ground and balling her eyes out at the sight before her. Jason, her Jason, the man that she loved more than life itself was in bed naked with another woman. Running down the stairs, Sam was desperate to escape. Throwing open the door, she stumbled her way past a very confused Max and Milo. She ignored them as they called her name, ignored the worry in their voices, she couldn't be here. Passing the elevator, she ran for the stairs, practically flying down them in order to escape this Hell around her.

Needing to catch her breath, she paused and dropped to the step and closed her eyes. Jason was laying on his back, the sheet was covering his lower half, Brenda was topless, laying against him with her head resting on his chest. That was her favorite spot. That was where she always rested her head after a long hot sweaty love making session. That was where she belonged. NOT BRENDA. "NO!" She jumped up and continued her run down the stairs. She had to leave but she didn't want to go home, didn't want to be alone. She threw the side door open and ran out into the night, leaving her car and the man she loved behind.

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Aidan was in bed taking a nap with thoughts of Samantha consuming him whole. He thought of her, breathed her, lived her, she was in his mind, in his blood, she was everything to him. He couldn't escape her. He was giving her time, he knew that she probably was too tired to see him today, so he was going to give her time to let her rest. And when she was ready, he was going to visit her and hopefully talk to her about staying in Port Charles for good, or leaving and taking her with him. She would love England, that's where he would take her, after he visited his mom in Hungary where they would get married. He closed his eyes and thought about their wedding day and wedding night.

A sudden knock on the door interrupted his dreams of her, rolling out of bed, he went to answer the door. It was probably Robin, he hadn't spoken to her in a couple of days and he missed her. Swinging the door open, he was shocked at the sight before him. Samantha. She was here, in his hotel room, Oh God she was breathtaking. But she was sad, tear tracks stained her cheeks, she looked pale and her lips were trembling. "Samantha?"

Sam didn't know why she was here, didn't know why she came, but she didn't want to be alone. Didn't want to go home to her empty apartment while thinking about Jason and Brenda in bed together. NO! She couldn't think about them, she wanted to be here, wanted to be with Aidan. Running up to him, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down and crashed his lips against hers.

He couldn't believe what just happened, couldn't believe that his dreams were suddenly coming true, but he didn't want to take advantage of her, he cared about her too much, he loved her. He pulled back just enough to only break the kiss. "Samantha what's wrong?"

Not ready to face the truth, Sam pulled him down again for another kiss. "Please Aidan, I just want to be with you, please make me forget…"

He didn't like the pleading tone in her voice, didn't like to see the hurt in her eyes. He would do ANYTHING for her, and if this is what she needed than he would give it to her. He encircled his arms around her and pulled her roughly to him, grounding his body against her, letting her feel his hard erection pressed up against her, letting her know how much he wanted her, how much he needed her. Pulling her as he walked towards the bed, Aidan gently laid her down and climbed over her, taking his position between her wide open legs. Today he would have this, he would pour every ounce of love and passion that he felt for her, and he would keep her for the rest of his life.