Sorry this wasn't out sooner! I've been really busy with Grease rehearsals and school and stuff. By request here is RACETRACK!
I don't own Newsies. That's very painful for me to say, I don't own Blood Drips Heavily on Newsies Square either. Anything Newsie related I don't own. (sigh)
THE USER'S GUIDE AND MANUAL TO:
RACETRACK HIGGINS
COPYRIGHT: DISNEY
MAKING GIRLS SQUEE SINCE 1992
CHIEF TECHNICAL AND MECHANICAL ADMINISTRATOR: STAR LEWIS
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW PURCHASE OF
RACETRACK HIGGINS
You now have a brand new, life sized, RACETRACK unit. We thank you for your purchase and hope for you to be buying more NEWSIES units from us in the near future. To enjoy your RACETRACK unit to the greatest pleasure please follow the simple instructions which we have provided in all languages, (sarcasm included)
TECHNICAL INFORMATION:
Name: Racetrack Higgins
Type: Human Being (Male)
Manufacturing Company: Sheapshead Bay Manufactors
Height: Five foot four inches
Controls: Your RACETRACK unit has been programmed to be voice activated and for your enjoyment.
ACCESORIES:
Your RACETRACK unit comes with the following, with no extra shipping fees-
Newsie Hat- Your RACETRACK unit is a Newsie, Newsies need newsie hats. Your RACETRACK unit's newsie hat is a navy blue color
Note: One size fits all.
Cigar- Your RACETRACK unit almost always has a cigar in hand/mouth until the SNIPESHOOTER unit steals it.
Note: Prepare for a musical number if the SNIPESHOOTER unit steals your RACETRACK unit's cigar.
Poker Cards/Chips- Your RACETRACK unit has a gambling problem, so he has to have his cards and chips with him at all times.
Harmonica- Your RACETRACK unit is very talented and knows how to play the harmonica.
Clothing- Your RACETRACK unit comes with a white SHIRT, a pair of SLACKS, SUSPENDERS, two VESTS, LONG-JOHNS and SHOES
Note: Only remove clothes for CLEANING PURPOSES ONLY
OPERATING INSTRUCTIONS
Your RACETRACK unit was manufactured and designed to be user-friendly and a good laugh
Besides bragging/showing off your RACETRACK unit he has a few sensible and very practical uses for your every day life.
Gambler- Do you just absolutley suck at poker or gambling? Then bring your RACETRACK unit with you to your next poker night or race. (Your RACETRACK unit loves to watch the races and will probably squee if your bring him there to gamble.) We gaurentee that you will win or your money back. (No not really)
Funny- Your RACETRACK unit has a smart mouth, he can make you laugh, insult people or confuse the people your insulting with his wit.
Note: If your RACETRACK unit insults you or confuse you see the TROUBLE SHOOTING section
Musical- Your RACETRACK unit is amazing in the musical area! He can sing, dance, tap dance AND play the harmonica! Bring him along to your next gig and go nuts!
CLEANING INSTRUCTIONS:
Your RACETRACK unit needs to be pampered with a bath with very hot water, jasmine bath crystals (not salts. CRYSTALS) and a blue rubber ducky. If your RACETRACK unit wants to take a shower he needs very hot water, a waterpik shower head, black raspberry vanilla soap and a facial scrub. If your RACETRACK unit gets anything less he will go into MAD ITALIAN MODE and will have a melt down. See TROUBLE SHOOTING if this happens.
FAQs (FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS)
Q. Why is my Racetrack acting like he's the King of New York?
A. Because your RACETRACK unit is.
Q. Do I need to buy a permanent box at the Sheepshead Races?
A. Your RACETRACK unit would love you forever if you did. You two will have a dandy time at the races!
Q. Dandy?
A. Stop questioning my vocabulary.
Q. Can I stop my Racetrack from gambling?
A. Psh. No.
Q. Remember that hot tip I told ya?
A. Yeah, nobody told the horse.
Q. Why is my Racetrack talking about what happened in 1899?
A. Your RACETRACK unit is probably on PROLOGUE mode, either buy another NEWSIE unit (preferably a KID BLINK unit or MUSH unit.) or if you have already purchased one of the units than SWITCH him from PROLOGUE mode to some other mode.
TROUBLE SHOOTING:
Sheepshead Bay Manufactors are NOT responsible for the following issues. We just make them we don't break them. If you cannot find your soultution SUCK IT UP and get on with your life. Or buy another NEWSIE unit!
Problem- Racetrack is asking where a chair is.
Solution- Yeah, your RACETRACK unit will do this if he is on the BLOOD DRIPS HEAVILY ON NEWSIES SQUARE mode, SWITCH him back to NEWSIES mode OR if you have the other NEWSIE units than you may set them up and they can PERFORM FOR YOU!
Problem- I uh, accidently didn't follow the cleaning instructions and now I'm scared.
Solution- Yes your RACETRACK unit will get pretty ticked if you don't follow the CLEANING INSTRUCTIONS. He probably has gone into MAD ITALIAN MODE and is now threatening to get the Mafia after you and running around doing an intimidating walk and swearing at you in Italian. Take your RACETRACK unit to the races, lock him in a room or push him off a building. You choose.
Problem- My Racetrack is confusing me with what he says.
Solution- Hmm. Have you been treating your RACETRACK unit well? If not than that's why he's probably confusing you.
Problem- Why is Racetrack singing "Hakuna Matata"?
Solution- Oops, your RACETRACK unit is on WRONG SHOW MODE, which happens with a bunch of our lovely NEWSIE units. Just turn the switch from LION KING to NEWSIES.
Note: Switch is on his back.
Problem- Everytime we walk past a news stand Racetrack tries to tip it over. What should I do?!
Solution- Um...not walk past a news stand? Yeah, don't do that.
Problem- Racetrack is kicking men in areas where they shouldn't be kicked!!
Solution- Remember the pretty switch? Switch it from STIKE mode to NORMAL mode. Try not to get kicked yourself.
LAST NOTE:
We thank your for buying your RACETRACK unit, we hope that you will start squeeing uncontrollably and love your RACETRACK unit to death. Remember you can always order more NEWSIES units by calling 1-800-NEWSIES today!'
So yeah, tell me what you think, Like it? Love it? Hate it? Click the purplish button on the bottom that says "go" and then type and then you GET A COOKIE!
SHOUT OUTS
Curly-Q: Small request granted, thanks for reviewing! Have a cookie.
SilverRain1.3: Yay for loving it! I promise Mush will be coming VERY soon. Here's a cookie
Rai Kaine: Pimp canes are amazing, I need one myself. I need to intimidate people and we all know we can intimidate with sticks. (nods) Cookies!
Danc4Him: Cookies are nifty. Nifty is nifty, cool cats are nifty. Another nifty cookie.
duskwriter: Aww, thanks! Cookie.
letsimagine42: Thanks! I'd be one of the quiet fangirls, I wouldn't attack Spot. Blink on the other hand...(coughs) Have a cookie!
