I wondered how long the human body could cry until it simply ran out of water. I think we all moved past the initial stage of crying, I think the shock wore off. Now there was just a wave of not knowing how to react. What should we be doing? I needed to make phone calls, but should I do them in front of the kids? That's what they were, kids. But we were all growing up faster by the second. Mary was out there in the real world planning a funeral. I was making a to do list.

1) call the state

2) look over finances

3) find a job

4) call Meghan

5) Call the school

6) call my school to with drawl.

My list kept growing by the second. Calling the state was easy enough, Mary apparently had already signed the needed paper work, and she had already done the house inspection, she told me she'd call back after 72 hours.

This felt like the longest day. It was hardly noon, and I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to use the phone and I couldn't do so freely with everyone around me in the living room. After thinking it over I went to take the phone to Mom and Dad's room. They had a cable. The phone use to always be in there, but once we got older we started to use it too, so they moved it out to the living room.

"I've got to make some calls guys," I told them standing up. They nodded so I knew they heard me. They were half playing cards and half watching T.V. Pony was asleep on Soda's lap, Two-bit was pretending to sleep, or he at least had his eyes closed.

I started by looking at the finances. I wanted to know how much money my parents had saved, and what kind of bills we had to pay. How did I even find out that information? Could I call up the bank or did I have to go to the bank? Would they eventually call me? I didn't think I was ready to go to the bank just yet, I imagined myself telling a bank teller my parents died, and I didn't like the way I imagined it went in my head so I decided to not handle it right now. I didn't want to call my coach and tell him I had to withdraw, I knew he would understand, but I wasn't ready to do that just yet either. Everything on my list I wasn't ready to do, so what was I suppose to do?

I had this reputation for being so tuff, and that I could handle anything, but there is a big difference in loosing your parents, and gaining 3 kids. There is so much shit involved. It's not clear cut what to do. After thinking it over I got back up and I went to sit and half do what ever my family was doing. Because after all, we are still a family. I sat on the end of the couch beside Pony who was no longer asleep.

"Soda, my parents are here, I have to go, but I'll call you tonight okay? Evie and I will be back," She kissed his cheek then gave all of a wave leaving. Soda stood up and paced around the kitchen for a minute. I knew he was putting on a face for Pony. I hated he felt like he had to do that, but I also appreciated it. Pony never fell asleep, Soda never calmed down, Two-bit never payed attention to his hand, Steve never called him on it, and then Mary walked in the house looking like she had just been hit by a train. Truthfully, I had been a little worried it was getting awfully late. Her face did soften when she saw all of us though.

"If it isn't Tulsa's finest," she kissed Pony, hugged Soda, and moved to the kitchen.

"Where ya been all day?" Two-bit asked half interested in the bag that she put on the table.

"Well, apparently planning a funeral is much more complicated than it sounds," Mary let out a sigh turing on the coffee. When did she start liking coffee?

"You don't say? I woulda thought you just dig a hole and," Steve started then stopped realizing we were talking about our parents.

"Yeah, you'd think," she agreed opening the fridge."Hey Pone?" She asked him and he looked up to her.

"How are ya doing?" All of us looked at him when she asked.

"I'm okay, I guess," he shrugged. It must have been good enough for her, because she kept talking.

"How would you feel about writing the obituary to go in the paper tomorrow? Id need it by 4," despite everything Mary still had the sparkle in her eye.

"I guess I can do it," he sounded hesitant. Mary started to talk, but I beat her to it.

"You don't have to, if you can't or don't want to, you don't have to. We can do it." I wanted to help contribute I wanted to help.

"Exactly. I just figured you could write better than the rest of us, I'd ask," She started pulling things out of the bag.

"What's that Santa?" Steve now seemed even less interested in the cards.

"I had to swing by work to ask off for today, it woulda been real nice if Darry woulda told Meghan, or at least told me you hadn't told her!" Mary was talking to the whole group then turned to me. I had completely forgotten to tell her.

"Uho," Two-bit laughed, "You're gonna be in the creek!"

"Yeah, so when I told the boss he gave me all this food, so just eat it while it's hot," she stepped back as everyone, including Pony, stood up. I was glad he was going to eat.

"I meant to call her," I could feel my eyes widen the more I thought about it. Why didn't I call her? Why didn't I want her here like Sandy was?

Mary looked at me for a second, "I told her you just found out yourself." I could tell Mary was trying to make me feel better.

"I've had some other things on my mind," I muttered, which was true, I had. No one saidanything, I wasn't even sure they heard. Everyone walked towards the bag of food, I hoped it would make things feel normal again, but it didn't. I was starting to loose hope on if we'd ever be normal again.

"So, I've got to finish the bulletin for the service, but what do ya'll think about funeral day after tomorrow at noon?" I looked around at all the guys seeing different emotions. Pony just looked like he was doing everything he could to not cry, but he wasn't succeeding. Steve looked border line pissed, Soda looks so damn sad. Mary didn't express a single emotion. Her face was as blank as a canvas.

"Noon, well damn, I'm not sure I'll be up that early," Two-bit pulled us all back to reality.

"I thought about that too, but that's what time the guy recommended. I figured he knows his stuff," Mary laughed at Two-bit comment. Her cheeks turned a soft pink when she laughed, just like Mom's.

"What guy?" Soda asked through a mouth full of burger.

"Ya know, I'm not sure I ever got his name? He's a real old guy, real nice, I liked him." She shrugged thinking about it. We all kind of ate in silence. The T.V. was going, but no one was listening. There wasn't anything to say. It was too early to joke, but we were all tired of crying and being sad. Mary started picking up the trash and throwing everything away. Everyone else just went back into the living room.

"Mary," I stopped her before she went back to her room. "Sit for a while, do the bulletins later," she paused then turned back around sitting on the couch in between Soda and me. Pony went back to work on his obituary, which was good, Mary had to give that to the paper tonight.

"You know what's funny," Soda broke the silence.

"I went to bed last night thinking my biggest was problem was Mary walking in on Sandy and me," Soda got a good laugh out of everyone including Mary.

"Here?" I was surprised he'd be that bold.

"Yeah, Pony wasn't here, Mary was at work, mom and dad were driving! We thought it was the perfect time, until Mary came home early!"

"I bet Sandy just loved that!" Steve laughed too.

"She was pretty pissed, even when Mary told her she didn't care!" Soda had a grin of pride on his face.

"Yeah, well like I said, you aren't children," Mary was shaking her head. "I didn't even see her leave she was so fast!"

"That's the new do and dash," Two-bit contributed to the conversation.

"Not hardly! When you went to answer the phone she left. Wouldn't even let me drive her!" Soda was still laughing, so was everyone else.

"That's right, I went to get the phone, It was Darry actually!" Mary pointed to me.

"Yeah, you're right. I went to bed that night worrying about you." I said that night finding it hard to believe it was just last night.

"Mary, what do you possibly have to worry about with her!" Steve nudged her foot on the coffee table. In return she knocked his feet all the way off with one push.

"Mom told me to talk to you, and when I called you sounded a little off," I had completely forgot about that until now.

"I had just worked for 8 hours, and" Mary started before Two-bit cut in.

"And walked in on her little brother having sex!"

"Almost, having sex," Soda corrected. I rolled my eyes.

"And there's that," Mary patted Soda's stomach.

"It only brought us closer," Soda pulled on Mary's hair. "What about you Mary? What was your biggest worry until this morning?"

She thought for a second, then right before she started Steve interrupted, "Please, what does Ms. Goodie goodie have to worry about!"

"Franki and I broke up," Mary shot Steve a cold look.

"Aw, Mary," Soda looked shocked. I would have been too if Meghan hadn't mentioned. "What happened?"

"Uh, we just had different plans I guess," Mary shrugged. "I'm fine, don't worry," she laughed it off.

"He didn't hurt you did he?" I was trying to remember what exactly Meghan said. She mentioned it so casually I didn't give it much mind. Mary looked at me surprised at first then smiled.

"Of course not, it just wasn't working out. None of ya'll were too fond if him anyway, so what's the problem?" Mary didn't seem upset she honestly didn't seem like she cared at all.

"Don't sweat it, I'm sure it's for the better," Soda gave her a reassuring squeeze. I wasn't sure I believe it was that simple, but I went along.

"I'm not, let's talk about someone else okay?" Mary tried to change the subject.

"You'll find someone better, princess," Two-bit had a goofy look on his face when he said that.

"Princess?" Steve almost spat out his drink.

"What did Dallas tell you?" Mary swung her head to Two-bit. She looked a mix of annoyed and scared.

"Just that you didn't get your happily ever after, why what else would he have told me?" he winked at her and she turned a little red in the face. I had a feeling there was more to that story.

"Yeah, yeah," Mary rolled her eyes. I started to get why my mom wanted me to talk to her now.

"Mary!" Pony called from his room. He didn't sound upset like he had earlier, but I really worried about him. He was going to be the one who would be the most impacted by the recent events. I didn't have the slightest idea on how to soften the blow either. Maybe Mary did. She stood up looking a little pale herself.

When Mary was out of sight I turned back to Two-bit, "What'd Dally really tell you?"

Two-bit laughed a little probably because he was uncomfortable, "Dar, we were just messing around, ya know just trying to lighten the mood!" I didn't believe him, but none of us were in any condition to fight right now. I sighed listening to Mary and Pony talk.

"Pony, I can do it it's fine," I heard a muffled Mary say calmly. Pony's voice wasn't calm.

"I just wanted to help," I heard Pony's cry and so did everyone else, although no one moved.

"By being here, you are helping all of us!" I knew Mary was trying to help him, but we heard a crash. Soda was quick to his feet, but I stopped him.

"Let Mary get this," I told him. He didn't sit down but he stayed put. I knew if we all walked in there right now we would just embarrass him. Even though he's only 13, he hates being the baby.

"When the time's right you'll know how to help. Right now, you have to let us help you!" Mary was yelling a little now too.

"Why are you okay? Even Dally cried in the hospital!" Pony hissed. I knew he was just lashing, but it was still a bit much. I had a hard time imagining Dally crying.

"Everyone deal with things differently Pony, you know that!" Mary tired again. "You're not doing anything wrong, this doesn't make you any less tuff. You have to be honest with us, about how you're feeling." Mary was pleading with him.

"Then be honest with me Mary, what happens after the funeral." My heart stopped when he asked that.

"Should we be ease dropping like this?" Two-bit spoke and I shushed him.

"It'll be hard, but somehow we'll come up with a plan to try to keep on living."

"I heard Steve tell Two-bit that the state'll make Darry drop out if he tries to keep up. He can't do that. Dad wouldn't have wanted him to quit his dream!" I shot Two-bit a glare before I felt my eyes glaze a little. I blinked to make it go away, but I felt his comment in my gut. I started to move towards the room, but this time Soda stopped me.

"I'm going to talk to Darry about all that babe, I am, and we'll work something out for all of us. Hey, I'll be 18 in 4 months. I ain't going anywhere you hear me?" She paused I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. "Now, dry those tears and kick Steve's ass in poker will ya? He deserves it for saying stuff he knows nothing about." Mary came out of the room stone cold face with a wet blouse.

"Darry," She picked up the keys and motioned for me to follow her out. Neither of us spoke while she drove. Then the next thing I knew she pulled over on the shoulder of the road.

"What's the plan?" Was all she said.

"I'm not letting the state take you if that's what you mean." I said as flatly as she had asked.

"This isn't going to be easy," Mary started. "What are you going to do? Take Dad's job? You know you'll hate it. Pony's right Dar, this is your dream and you can't let it go. We can do foster home for 4 months." I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"How could you even ask that?" I slammed my hand against the window in frustration. "Ya'll are my family! Ya'll are all that matters!" She didn't say anything her eyes were fixed on the road.

"All I'm saying is college is your way out, no one will blame you if you take it. You deserve it." She kept her cool. Her and Soda had that in common. Both of them knew how to hold their temper. My dad, Pony, and I didn't.

"What about you three? What do you think ya'll deserve, cause it sure as hell ain't foster homes." I tried to level my tone, but I was unsuccessful.

"Then you're going to have to get it together Darry. Get a job, call the state, apply for guardianship, call the bank, figure out the money, and Darry," she stopped talking I knew what she was going to say."Talk to your coach," she finished. I blinked back some tears I knew she saw, but she acted like she didn't. I was avoiding that call like the plague.

"I'm sorry," she hugged me.

"You didn't do anything wrong," I whispered.

"That doesn't make me any less sorry that you're having to give up everything." She kissed my cheek and turned back on the car. We drove back home in silence. Right before we walked in the house she grabbed my arm, I could tell she had been thinking.

"Dar, you've got temporary custody take the couple weeks to think about what you want to do," I started to object but she stopped me. "There's no harm in thinking."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mary and Darry walked back in the house looking mad at each other. Darry quickly noticed Meghan.

"Meghan," he said when he saw her. She stood up and walked to him. "I'm so sorry," he grabbed her hands.

"Don't worry about it, how are you?" She pulled him to the couch. Mary moved to the kitchen spreading out papers on the kitchen table and started a pot of coffee.

I watched her work for a while. I understood what Pony meant, I wanted to help, I felt so helpless, but I didn't think there was much I could do. I went in and talked to Pony a while after Mary and Darry left, but there wasn't much anyone could say.

"He just needs time, you all just need time," Sandy assured me. Sandy standing by me since the middle of the night gave me even more assurance that she's the one.

"Did Pony go to bed?" Darry asked.

"Yeah."

"We should probably go," Two-bit spoke up. "I'd hate my family to forget what I look like," He patted Darry on the back.

"I don't think that's possible, you're pretty hard to forget," Steve grinned following him out with Johnny trailing behind.

Even though I knew Meghan and Darry cared about each other and I cared about Sandy, we all sat there pretty uncomfortable. It was like we were just waiting on all of this to be official, we didn't know what we were doing.

"You need something stronger than the coffee?" Meghan asked Mary walking to the fridge.

"That'd be great," Mary stood up and went to sit on the counter away from all of the papers.

"Who knew it was this hard to make a flyer," Meghan looked at all of the examples on the paper.

"I'm probably making it harder than it is, it's just that we are doing so little, its a minimal cost funeral, the parts we do, I want to be perfect," Mary opened her drink and leaned back against the cabinet.

"To a better tomorrow," Meghan held up the drink.

"And every day after that," Mary added as they toasted.

"I'm sorry about Franki," Meghan put her hand on Mary's knee. I could tell from here that Mary was uncomfortable.

"Honestly it's the last thing on my mind." Mary told her.

"Doesn't make the hurt go away though, does it?" I glanced over to Darry who was watching as hard as I was.

"I'm fine," Mary spoke firmly.

"Yeah, I know you are, but don't you wish he was here?"

"My life is starting over, and it's good he's not in it, will you excuse me, I need to smoke," Mary jumped down and walked outside before she could respond. Dally and Johnny walked in as they walked out. They acknowledged eachother, but Mary was quick to get out.

Once Mary was gone, I walked back over to the table where she had been working.I picked up the obituary and read it I got goosebumps when I did. She was so talented. Darry noticed me looking at it and he came over, he picked it up looked at it and the back to me.

"Looks like I'm the only one in the family who ain't very bright," I tried to make a joke. I wasn't ashamed of being dumb, because I knew I knew what I needed to know for real life, which didn't include writing and arithmetic. "Did you know she could write that good?" I asked him as Steve and Two-bit looked over to see what we were talking about.

"What is it?" Steve asked.

"The obituary," Darry said when I didn't. I hated that word. She was so formal when she said their names and listed all of ours for surviving them. Then when she explained their accomplishments she used humor, hotel manager, nurse, judge, wrestling match referee, and others that made me smile thinking about it, but the more I thought the more my smile faded and turned into sadness. I didn't like only having the memories. Darry must have felt the same way because she because he gave me a reassuring squeeze. I wondered how he could act like he knew what was going to happen. Before I had much time to think about it I saw head lights pull up outside the drive. Two-bit already pulled the blinds up to see who it was.

"Its Franki," Two-bit said surprised. He then cracked a joke about being a lost soul, but none of us listened.

"Don't ease drop on her!" Meghan swatted at us, but we already were.

"This oughtta be good," Dally stuck his fingers through the blinds.

A/N I already made the next chapter too, lemme know what you're thinking so I can see if I need to do many changes!