"Franki," Mary said when he got close.
"Mary, I am so sorry," he started to touch her but she pulled away.
"What are you sorry about Franki?" He stuttered for a second.
"For your parents," he leaned against the railing. She didn't respond right away, she looked at him.
"Yeah, well, at least your sorry for something," she stood up and he watched her closely.
"Jesus, Mary, what do you want me to say, huh? I came here to be a good guy, and you're not making it easy!"
"Aw, poor Franki, I'm not making things easy for you!" She looked away from him and he grabbed her arm, she pulled back, "You, Franki, you," she started than paused. "I don't have time for you.''
"You seem mad." I rolled my eyes when he said that, what did she ever see in him?
"I've got stuff on my mind other than you, believe it or not." She added a little bit of a tone. I was rooting for her in my head.
"I'll go out there," I suggested.
"She doesn't need her little brother coming to the rescue, she's a big girl," Steve pointed out. I knew he was at least partially right, I just didn't know what part. I went back to listening to them.
"Let me help, let's go for a ride," he suggested. She turned and walked back towards the house, we all hurried to get away from the window and were pretty successful. She didn't really notice.
"I"m going to drop off the obituary," Mary told us walking back outside walking towards Franki's car before any of us could say anything.
"You were saying?" I turned back to Steve.
"How the hell was I suppose to know that she'd get in the car with him?" Steve threw his hands in the air.
"She didn't even drink her beer!" Two-bit picked it up shocked before finishing it off.
"Darry, go after her," Meghan spoke up. Her face looked red we all looked at her trying to figure it out. I mean sure, I didn't want her to be in the car with him, but he was a jerk, not a serial killer.
"What's gonna happen on the way to deliver the obituary?" Darry didn't seem too worried either.
"Darry," she whispered, like that was suppose to mean something. Sandy did that sometimes too, she just expected me to read her mind!
"I can't exactly chase her down Meghan! She isn't on her bike" Darry laughed, but Meghan didn't.
"He broke her heart," Megan glared at Darry.
"You're worrying too much sunshine, her heart ain't broke, if it were we'd know because chicks bitch about that shit all the time! Trust me on this one." Two-bit got up to throw away his bottle.
"He did everything he had to do to sleep with her because his buddy thought it wasn't possible, it was all a joke to him." Meghan pushed Two-bit hard enough to make him have to take a step.
"If that's the case then why would she have gotten in the car with him, huh? She ain't stupid," Steve didn't buy it either. I didn't know what to think. Darry didn't know what to say, no one did. He had a puzzled but serious look on his face.
"I guess we'll just wait for to get back, I'm sure she'l be fine." I spoke up when no one else did. Meghan's face let us know she didn't like my suggestion.
"She's tuff, she knows what she's doing," Darry defended her. I hoped he was right.
"Yeah, like she knew what she was doing the other night. If you won't do it because your her parent now! What would you dad do?" Meghan went too far we all knew it, but she didn't seem to care.
"Listen here, Ms. Goodie too shoe, their parents told her to live a little, you don't know what the hell they would have said, so don't act like you do. She's doing exactly what they told her to, so back the hell off, Christ!" Dally yelled making the whole room get quiet. Meghan looked to Darry, and when he didn't speak she left. Darry didn't seem to care, he had the same look on his face he had before.
"They did what?" Darry turned to look at Dally.
"You heard me," was all he offered. "Don't read too much into it, she ain't broken, he didn't make her. She ain't a damn porcelain doll!" As if Dally's comment wasn't even when Two-bit spoke next it didn't really give anyone comfort like he hoped.
"I always knew she was a Curtis, I mean I always new she was your sister, but after today it became so damn clear to me that she was a Curtis, because she has been so tuff through all this shit, ya'll don't even know half of it." Two-bit told us. When we all gave him puzzled looks he continued to talk again. "You shouldn't underestimate her."
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"Where are we going?" he followed me to his car.
"To drop off the obituary," I told him plainly. I was going to be emotionless through out this car ride. I was not about to let him win. I was going to make sure he knew I was okay, even if I wasn't.
"Where?" He asked me. It was a fair question, I would not have had any idea where to go before today any how.
"It's a couple miles from here," I answered looking out the window. I was regretting going anywhere with him. My mind sort of wandered and I wasn't sure how we even ended up outside of the office. I wasn't sure how I got out of the car. I wasn't sure how I got in the office, and I wasn't sure how I handed her the paper in my pocket.
"Miss, are you okay?" She asked me when I blinked trying to realize what was going on.
"Um, yeah," I said touching my eyes. I was lying, little did I know that lying was about to become a normal occurrence in my life.
"We'll make sure this is in the paper by morning," she didn't look like she really cared if I was okay or not. Why was I feeling so sick right now? I honestly felt like I was going to faint. Franki grabbed my arm and lead me outside.
"It'll get better from here," he told me playing with my hair. I always liked it when he did that.
"It can't really get worse can it?" I asked him. He laughed a little as we sat on a bench.
"It can, and it will for a while," he let go of me looking ahead at the road.
"Gee, thanks," I closed my eyes.
"I'm just trying to help. To tell you what it'll really be like," he put his hand on my back. My brain was telling me to shove his hand off my back bitch him out but my heart wanted him to keep it there. I looked at him for a second out of the corner of my eye as if seeing him would help me figure it out.
"I was 13 when my Mom died Mar, I know its not the same," he trailed off a little when he spoke. I knew his mom had died, and I knew he was younger when it happened but truthfully I had forgotten.
"You were the youngest," I wasn't really asking him I was more recalling.
"Yeah, it made tension in my family, not to mention with my dad. Even though I was young I still noticed it."
"Tension?"
"Yeah, arguing we were just all so upset everything changes, there's no way to live in the past, like things use to be. Take it from me, the sooner you accept that life as you know it has changed the better." The way he said that made my skin crawl.
"Life as we know it Franki, ended when I identified my mom's dead body. Then again when I singed for their death certificated, and again when the state came in trying to take us away, so I guess would could say we have all accepted that." I wanted to hurt him then when I was speaking. I wanted someone else to hurt because I was hurting. I wanted someone else to feel the pain I was feeling. He looked at me and nodded.
"You're right, I'm sorry. Mar I'm so sorry," he pulled me into a hug and I pulled back, but he tried again and I gave in.
"Don't tell me I'm right, just tell me what to do!" I pleaded. I was so scared about what was going to happen next. Darry said he'd take over, but does that mean he can? What does Darry know about parenting anyway?
"Tomorrow when this goes out in the paper you'll have a lot of people come over brining food and telling you how sorry they are, and how great your parents are. And you'll act all tough and fake smiles so hard your head hurts. It will actually be the worst day of your life. You're going to be exhausted, but you won't be able to sleep. Then you'll go to the funeral which will all just be a blur. You'll see people you don't know crying, you give more hugs, fake more smiles, and then you'll go home. After about a week people will stop coming over, ya'll go back to school, and life just moves on. It's hard, some days are harder than most, but life just happens." He draped his arm over my shoulder and lead me to the car. I cussed at myself for allowing myself to seem so weak. I tried to remind myself of how angry I was at him, and how horribly he treated me.
"I just want it to all be over," I sighed pulling it together a little bit pressing my fingers at the corner of my eye to prevent tears.
"I know," he opened the door for me. I felt myself falling for him again, I felt myself forgiving him, was that okay? There was just something magical about a boy being nice to you.
"I wish there was something I could say," he sighed. We were both just sighing up a storm.
We listened to the radio softly as we drove down the road, I didn't know about him, but I wasn't paying attention to it. Once we pulled into the drive way he got out at the same time as me, but I was leaned up against the car.
"It'll feel like home again one day," he read my mind. I looked at him surprised, and he gave me a weak smile.
"I hope," I told him as he handed me a smoke.
"Ya know, if there's anything I can do," I stopped when I opened my mouth.
"There's not anything you can do that'll make me forgive you for using me. Is that what this is about? Trying to clear you conscious?"
"Maybe a little," he admitted and I smirked at him. "Mary, I did care about you, I do care about you," he grabbed me hand. I instantly pulled away.
"Only when it's convenient for you," I took a few steps back. I wished I would feel power when I talked to him. I wish I felt good about myself for standing up to him, but truthfully, I did not. I felt heart ache, and I felt pain.
"I ain't perfect, I realize that," he argued.
"It's not even the sex I regret, its that the last conversation I had with either of my parents was me defending you. Me telling them I loved you, and how great you were. My last conversation with my parents was a lie, and that's not the way our relationship worked," I started to get emotional so I turned to leave dropping my cancer stick on the ground. I wanted to hear his car crank and him tear down the road, I wanted him to not care and to just move on. It would have been easier if he just left, but instead he stood in the driveway like a lost dog.
I walked into the house rather quickly so I wouldn't give in and turn back around. I saw Two-bit and Steve pulled back away from the windows. Two-bit spun around too fast and fell off the couch.
"Serves you right for spying on me," I told him as I went to get some aspirin out of the medicine cabinet.
"Look at him just standing there like a kid who just found out Santa wasn't real," Steve mocked him. I ignored his comment sticking my head under the sink to drink water.
"There's cups for that," Two-bit pointed out. I didn't respond to him either. Next thing I know Darry comes into the kitchen.
"Mary," Darry exclaims like he hasn't seen me in months.
"Hey, Dar," I didn't pay him much attention. "Where's Pony and Soda?"
"Pony's sleeping, Soda went for a drive with Sandy."
"Okay, I'll see you in the morning I'm going to go finish these up," I pointed to the bulletin. I looked at each of their faces and I knew something was up. "What?" finally asked.
"I really wish you wouldn't go out with Franki, I was worried." I was confused by Darry's remark.
"Why?" I asked skeptically. He had a an uncomfortable look on his face like he knew something he didn't want to say.
"Damn it Dally," I turned round and glared at him.
"I didn't say a word to him!" Dally found this entertaining, that didn't surprise me.
"Then how did Two-bit know?" I hissed.
"He was there," Dally pointed at me.
"Where was Two-bit?" Soda walked in with Sandy.
"I've been a lot of places," Two-bit winked. I could have slapped him.
"Look, I appreciate you looking out for me, but that's not necessary." I tried not to sound made, but I was getting there.
"Mary, he took you to Bucks!" Darry acted like that place was a sin.
"Yeah, Darry, we'd been dating for 3 months, and it's not like you didn't go to Buck's when you were younger than me, and Mom and Dad knew!"
"Yeah, Darry you're one to talk," Dally started.
"Shut up Dallas," Darry scolded.
"She's fine no harm no foul," Two-bit pointed out.
"She was harmed!" Darry's voice raised. "Is that what you were calling me about that night?"
"Was she calling to tell you she slept with Franki, yeah right Darry," Steve laughed.
"Watch it Steve, this is my house now, I'll throw you out." Darry threatened surprising all of us.
"Darry come on," Soda tried to calm everyone down.
"Darry, I can handle my own relationships," I tried to lower my voice too.
"Or lack there of," Two-bit snickered. I shot him a look, but other wise turned back to Darry.
"I just think you should talk to me about it. He's not a good guy." For some reason I was getting frustrated at him comment, even though I knew it was true.
"Says who Darry!" He didn't speak right away he just looked at me.
"Meghan told me what ya'll did," he finally said when no one else spoke.
"And what did she tell you?" I didn't believe that she would do that.
"She said," Darry started before Sandy cut him off.
"She told them about Daniel, Mary they all know everything." I looked at them not even knowing what to say.
"That wasn't hers to tell, and it's not yours to judge!"
"She's my girlfriend Mary!" I thought about calling him out for being a horrible boy friend, but I didn't want to be immature.
"Yeah, Darry, and he was my boyfriend!" I knew it wasn't the same but I didn't care. "Mom and Dad both knew what we were doing, they told me to do it, they told me to no be so afraid all the time. So, you can't blame him" I surprised everyone.
"I'm telling you, it ain't a bad thing she finally slept with someone she was getting a reputation," Dally made a lame attempt of trying to defend me.
"Dally," I sighed hitting my head with my hand.
"Mary," Soda started.
"Darry," I interrupted "It can't be like this from now on," was all I said before leaving to go back to my room. I wanted to tell him he had no right to tell me who I should and should not hang out with, our that he's done worse things, but I couldn't shake the feeling I had. Because, I guess technically in a way he could. He was my guardian now. Everything was changing.
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Let me know what your thinking? Suggestion? You can be critical I can handle it.
