Rodney McKay was hungry. No, he was ravenous. Being hypoglycemic, he thought he had known the exact extent to which hunger could hurt. Now he found he had been wrong.
The vertigo and cold sweat that accompanied hunger in the past were mere ghosts of what he was feeling now. His chest constricted painfully and his vision was unfocused. As he looked down at the palms of his hands, he had to blink several times before he could see his skin, now tinged blue, slowly parting as if slashed open by an invisible blade. It didn't hurt and it didn't bleed, but the feeling of emptiness got stronger.
Other things had changed too in the time that had passed since his first and last discussion with Eve. It had ended with him trying to choke her to death. He had never felt such determination before, but he was turning into a Wraith and he couldn't stop it from happening.
He had attacked her, spurred on by her calm, twisted smile. He had pinned her against a wall and pushed his thumbs into the smooth and soft skin of her neck. Her eyes had rolled up in their sockets and her hands had pushed and scratched at his chest, breaking the skin in several places before strong arms had pulled him off her.
The next thing he knew, he was flung into a small cell-like room, left all alone and screaming.
Yup, that was smart! The smartest thing I've done in a long time, he thought. She had been furious. He could feel her anger like it was his own.
Rodney curled around himself in a corner and tried to calm his racing mind enough to fall asleep. His muscles twitched and tensed under his skin painfully and he bit his lip, breathing in deeply through his nose. He was on a Hive ship. He knew it. And they were headed towards the Milky Way. There was a murmur of voices in the back of his head and he found that if he could calm down just a little bit, he could actually bring them into focus one by one and listen to them. There was one thought that united them all-New feeding grounds. There was excitement behind that thought and something akin to weariness.
He found himself sharing the feelings. He was so hungry. He'd have given anything for the ache to be soothed. He willed himself to sleep, but sleep would not come. Time was meaningless as his insides burned and twisted in pain.
He had been facing the wall, and Rodney only realized he had company when a hand closed over his shoulder and turned him over. The first thing he saw was a pair of huge wings, folded over his visitor's back.
"Batty..." he croaked in a strangled, rough voice. "Long time no see?" It was more a question than a statement, because he could no longer quantify the passage of time.
"You live," the alien said levelly. He studied Rodney's hands, one after the other. As a clawed, heavy finger traced the newly opened slit in the center of his palm, Rodney's head snapped up. He pulled his hand away, clutching it to his chest. It felt...weird. It was the only word that came to mind. "Do you feel the hunger?"
"You fucking know I do, you twisted bastard!" The words had left his mouth before any censorship mechanism could interfere. Rodney didn't exactly regret insulting the damned creature, but something told him that if he kept up the hostility for much longer, he wouldn't live to tell the story. He took a deep breath to try and center himself and sat up.
Lucifer stood tall in front of him, head tilted to the side, a smirk on his dark, alien lips.
"I mean, um..." If only he had some social grace at all! "I'm hungry," he finally stated in a defeated voice.
The smirk actually softened into a smile. He was helped to stand. "Then come."
Rodney followed Lucifer in silence. Things looked different now. The walls seemed more alive and their bioluminescence was a warm, golden glow that made him feel safe. The murmur of voices in his head had become comfortable too, like a cushion for his own thoughts. A Wraith passed them by as they made their way through he corridor, and his yellow eyes swept over Rodney before inclining his head in a silent greeting. Rodney felt the touch of the other's mind and shuddered, moving closer to his guide as if seeking protection before he realized his guide was probably scarier than the Wraith passing by.
Lucifer felt the change and moved a wing to envelop Rodney and pull him to his side.
"You act like a new offspring. Soon you will learn," the winged alien said and Rodney thought there was-affection?-in his voice. He shook his head. No, it couldn't be. He was hungry and he was hallucinating. He kept his eyes on the floor in front of him from then on.
They entered a large room where the walls gave no light. As his eyes adjusted, McKay's breath caught in his throat when he realized where they were. The walls were lined with cocoons.
"No...no, no, no, no, no, no. No!" he muttered under his breath looking around with huge eyes.
"Choose."
"I-I can't. No, please, don't make me do this. Give me food, please, human food." Rodney's voice sounded broken, barely above whisper. He was pushed closer to one of the cocoons then and the dark-haired man inside stirred awake as if sensing their approach. Rodney could smell the fear on the man's skin and beneath that smell laid another. Subtle, sweet, the smell of strength, the smell of life.
He felt mesmerized as Lucifer guided his hand to the man's chest.
"You must break the webbing and push your palm under the point where his ribs meet. Don't push too hard, or you'll break his bones and kill him prematurely. That would be wasteful. Push!"
The smell was dancing all around him and Lucifer's voice was like a siren's song in his ear, hypnotizing him, making him move. He felt the webbing give under the pressure he put on it and then...there was flesh under his hand and he pushed on. The blood was hot and slick and the crack of bones told him to stop pushing. There was sound as well, but he couldn't focus enough to distinguish what it was.
Relief washed over him. Rodney's arm tingled on the inside as if whatever it was he took from his prey shot straight into his veins. His eyes closed and he let his head roll back onto Lucifer's chest. Pleasure enveloped him, making him weak in the knees and he grabbed onto the arm that came to rest over his own chest, supporting him.
The sound in the background became louder and louder until it crystallized into a shrill scream. It was the sound of agony. Rodney knew the man was screaming his last breath. Then there was nothing. The smell dissipated and the power stopped coming. The man was dead. Rodney pushed harder, hoping to find some more energy in the dried-out corpse, but the only thing he achieved was to drive his hand into the hulk's thorax. It was still hot inside, though there was no moisture.
"I...I'm so sorry," Rodney whispered, pulling his hand out.
"You can come here and feed when the need arises. Do not wait until the pain comes. It harms you. After you finish, you pull this lever and push buttons in this sequence." Lucifer demonstrated, opening a panel next to the cocoon. As he completed the procedure there came an aspiration sound and the corpse slid down as if through the floor along with the webbing, leaving an empty pod behind. "This way nothing is wasted-what remains of them is transformed into fuel."
***
The Daedalus had been on route for a little over twelve Atlantean days when the sensors picked up an energy signature that could only come from a spaceship moving in and out of hyperspace. They were traveling steadily in hyperspace themselves, hoping to catch up to the Hive ships. Zelenka smiled and frowned at the same time as he introduced the data into the computer. A schematic appeared on the screen several minutes later.
"There," the Czech said, pointing to the screen. "They will drop out of hyperspace again there."
"Can we get there first?" asked Sheppard, leaning on the back of the scientist's chair to take a closer look.
"It would be straining on our generator, but not impossible."
"Make the adjustments to our route. I'm gonna go have a chat with Colonel Caldwell." There was enthusiasm in John's voice, but more than anything, there was hope.
He walked briskly toward the main bridge where he knew the Colonel spent all of his time. Sometimes he thought the man even slept there. He radioed Elizabeth on the way to ask her to meet them there, along with the members of the Atlantis senior staff. He needed as many voices in his corner as possible when facing the commanding officer of the Daedalus. He also informed Colonel Everett of the meeting and kindly requested his presence. It had been Everett's evaluation of the situation that got Caldwell to turn his ship around. Sheppard was slowly starting to get fed up of the instant dislike the people who only knew him from mission reports tended to take to him. Yes, he had shot Sumner. He would do it all over again if he had to. He knew he had a reputation of not following orders, but God damn it! Couldn't people just leave the past alone?
"We have picked up some traces of the Hive ships. Dr. Zelenka says we can catch up to them when they next exit hyperspace," he said, cutting to the chase before anyone could derail him.
"So, this meeting is, I presume, to discuss strategy?" Caldwell asked raising an ironic brow.
"Yes, sir."
***
Lilith sat alone in the dark. And silence was all around her. Her green eyes were closed and her arms folded over her breasts in a position that would remind humans of an Egyptian royal figure.
Rodney McKay's transformation had finally opened his mind to her the way every Wraith's mind was open. Before, she could get any information she wanted from him, but she had to know what she was looking for to find it. Now it was just there, at the tips of her fingers, pouring over her.
She marveled at everything she was able to learn about humans. Their minds, their history, their politics and wars...the wars had impressed her most. They scared her and gave her insights she would never have dreamed to have otherwise. She was sure the humans she was familiar with, the ones in the Pegasus galaxy, were not like Rodney's humans. The Wraith had roamed the Pegasus from the beginning, and that had given its human population a common enemy to fend against.
These humans she found traces of in his memories were different. They were...vicious. They were predators to be reckoned with, to be feared and respected. The Lanteans had been ruthless, but even they had been less intimidating. Maybe if the humans of Earth survived their own ways of life for long enough they would become like the Lanteans. But for now, their individual desires still burned far too bright.
The Wraith Queen started to see how she could use these things to her own advantage. If she approached Earth in a way that would not inspire fear immediately and if she sought out and made the right allegiances...she could have them fighting each other and in the end she could feast on those who won.
Her lips parted in a smile, revealing her teeth. They were already divided, all she needed to do was to drive the rift further. Lilith opened her eyes and they shone like emerald shards in the sunlight. The light in the chamber adjusted to her new state of consciousness. The meditation was over. She had gone through all the new information that the human's transformation provided.
The ship informed her they were going to exist hyperspace in a short while to give the engine time to refuel. She gave her consent to the procedure and went to find her First Mate. She opened her mind to his and he led her to his whereabouts.
Lucifer met Lilith with a flap of his huge wings. She extended her hand toward him, palm up, invitingly. It was the kind of invitation he never refused. Their slits met and he squeezed her hand in his.
"I forgot what this was like. I forgot you," he said in a husky voice, pulling her close. Her other hand rested on his chest and she bent her head to rest her cheek on his shoulder in the crook of his left wing.
They stayed like that in silence for a long time. She was the one to break their silent lovemaking. His pupils were dilated when he looked at her, making his eyes seem pitch black. She smiled and brushed her lips over his. Lucifer blinked in confusion.
"The humans call that a kiss. It is quite pleasant once you become accustomed to it."
"I believe you should share such...pleasures with those who taught them to you." His voice was harsh, if barely above a whisper.
"I did not wish to anger you, forgive me. What are your thoughts about our new one?" she asked, taking a step back.
"He is able to feed on his own. The transformation was successful. He will survive it. You must be pleased." Lucifer refolded his wings over his broad shoulders.
"His mind is great. There is information there I find very valuable. The humans of Earth are very different from those we know."
"I agree."
"The Rings can take us so much further than we thought possible. Their world is larger, the nourishment will be plentiful. Our numbers may now increase and the universe is truly infinite." Her eyes were glowing with excitement.
"There is information on other species now. I am worried about the ones his kind call Goa'uld. They are not human, and yet intelligent. I feel a threat there. You are a dreamer, my Queen. I would advise patience."
"Of course. Battles must be fought one at a time. The Goa'uld seem to be an arrogant species. Such beings are easily overcome. I wonder how many galaxies hold human life? How large will our hunting grounds be, once we establish our rule in the Milky Way?"
"There will be pleasure and hunting and games. Time is our ally."
***
Rodney stood staring at the empty pod in front of him for a long time before retreating to his new chambers. He found that a Wraith was never truly alone. Even after the membrane at the entrance to his room closed like the lid over a gigantic eye, he could still feel them vividly.
When the Hive exited hyperspace he felt it in a way his human astrophysicist mind would not have deemed possible. The ship was more alive than he could have dreamed, and though the transition was smooth he felt it like a tug to the gut.
His anger towards the Queen had vanished now. It had been dictated by the part in him that was still human at that time. Now he wished for her presence. He knew that he could not summon her to him. He was bound by the new laws of his existence.
He had to wait for her to seek him out, if she ever would. He sat on a web armchair and wondered. Would Lilith come to find him? He couldn't sense any anger from her, but there was nothing else, either. The Queen had a privileged position in the Hive, for she could close her mind to the others.
He longed to see her.
Somewhere, in the bowels of the ship, dried out human husks were burned into fuel and Rodney shuddered. His body had completed the transformation and that had changed a few things about his mind too. But his human memories were all still intact. He wondered if they would fade in time. Would he forget about those he loved? Would he at some point feed on Jeannie and not recognize her? Thoughts of his sister made his chest ache.
Once, he had stepped through the Gate to Atlantis. Once he had made the decision that he would go to another galaxy possibly never to return. Then it had felt like an opportunity. The trill of discovery had dulled the ache of never seeing familiar places and faces again.
Now he was headed towards Earth, an opportunity he had stopped thinking about long ago. But once there, he would not be able to get on a plane to Canada... He had to see Lilith. He had to ask for his sister's life. The thought of her dying because of him, because he couldn't do anything to prevent it, was unbearable.
Suddenly the fear he felt amplified and he knew it wasn't his own anymore. He felt the ship shuddering. The floor shook under his feet. They were under attack. The ship could not raise the shields yet, it still didn't have enough energy. Emergency programs came online and as the walls of his chamber lost their bioluminescence, he was plunged into darkness.
Confusion was in the air as he made his way to the main deck. Everybody gathered there instinctively. He could see the soldiers take position at various weapon control consoles. He had no place in the hierarchy of his new society and had no place there, no task to fulfill. Lilith was there too. She was sat in her high seat, overseeing everything. Her orders were given in silence-she touched every mind in the room.
He longed to be of service. Her green eyes locked with his for a split second and she ordered him to take over a console that redirected energy from one application to another. He could see on the screen in front of him which areas were less exposed to attack and weaken the shield there in order to allow the most energy for the weapons used.
He worked fast and efficiently. Energy...we need to make more fuel... My Queen, we must sacrifice some of our nourishment resources. Her consent came like a wave of warmth. He called up a status file on the humans in the Feeding Hall. There were millions of lives there. He wrote a protocol that would choose the weakest according to a list of parameters that he set and release them to the bowels of the ship to be transformed into fuel. Almost a third of the lives disappeared from his screen. The available energy levels soared higher within seconds. They could now sustain the battle.
He armed the energy weapons and after the fourth discharge he redirected all resources to the engines. The ship obeyed him as if it were one of his limbs and entered hyperspace, shaking violently. Seconds later they exited into the natural space-time continuum. Their attackers, whoever they were, were now far behind.
***
"I don't know what they did! They just entered hyperspace again!" The technician gestured helplessly.
"Well, do something!" Caldwell yelled in exasperation.
"There is nothing more to be attempted now, Colonel," Hermiod intervened in his usual calm voice, blinking for emphasis.
"Fuck!"
Teyla stirred in her seat and opened her eyes. Elizabeth, who had kept a close eye on her with Carson, leaned in closer. Her features were pained and there was sheen of sweat on her brow.
"Well, Lass? Is Rodney with them?" Carson's Scottish brogue was thick with worry.
"I-I made contact with him." Horror was evident in Teyla's brown eyes, and her voice shook as she spoke. Elizabeth had never seen her so pale.
"How? He's alive?" Weir's question was laced with hope and incredulity. Her hand tightened on Teyla's shoulder.
"He's one of them." The Athosian rubbed her palms over her face, exhaling forcefully. "Dr. McKay is a Wraith."
