I followed Mary out to the car, she opened the passenger door to get in, normally I would be glad. I pretty much drove everywhere since I turned 16, but I didn't want to anymore. She glanced at my hesitation, but caught on and moved to the drivers side. That's what I liked about Mary, you didn't have to spell things out. She kept her mouth shut, and we'd probably never talk about why I didn't want to drive, she'd also never tell anyone. I guess that sometimes was a bad thing too, because she never really let anyone were driving in complete silence until she was the first to speak. Mary was kinda like Johnny. She didn't talk much, but when she did you'd never forget.
"I'm not going to ask you if you're alright because, you're not, none of us are, but I do want you to know that you don't have to pretend you are for Pony. If you ever need to escape we can come up with a code or something," she winked at me. I smiled and looked out the window. I knew I was kinda like Two-bit and a lot of times I was expected to have an easy going, funny, full of life personality, and I knew Mary was giving me permission to avoid that burden, but truthfully it helped me heal too.
"What kinda key word?" I turned and looked at her, my mind was wandering to possibilities.
"What ever you want," she smiled keeping her eyes on the road. Damn, did she look like mom. Her hair was covering half her face, the way the blond locks just flapping in the wind. Hey eye's weren't like my mom's or my dads. Darry kinda had eyes like Dad, but Mom's were more brown. Who knew where Mary got her's from. She noticed me looking at her, but she didn't say anything. When we parked the car I expected her to lecture me, tell me this was going to be hard, or to stay in the car, but she just handed me the keys. I nodded and it was like we had had a whole conversation just in her one gesture.
"Mary, good morning," the old man Mary told us about last night came over.
"Morning sir, this is my brother, Soda. He's got a better eye than me, I figured you could run tomorrow by him so there aren't any surprises?" Mary shook his hand.
"Ah, of course, you're in luck too, because the pastor is here, I am sure he would love to get to know a little about Soda." The older guy squeezed Mary's arm. Mary wasn't really one who liked to show affection. She hated it when people would cling on her. She didn't show it though, she had what looked like a real smile on her face. "Soda, why don't I take you to the pastor while Mary and I finish up a few minor things," he stepped in between mine and Mary's view so I couldn't see her. I didn't want to go back to talk to the pastor, especially not alone. I was feeling kind of panicked, that was unusual for me. I wasn't afraid to be with a stranger. In fact, I loved talking to people, why did this make me uncomfortable.
"Honestly, I trust you more than I trust myself, what ever you want to change change. I won't be upset. We'll go talk to the pastor, then after we will be out of your hair until," Mary was interrupted.
"Tomorrow at 11:30," he finished for her. He did look real nice, I guess old people kind of scare me.
"Did you figure out what you wanted to do about the flowers?" Marry faced turned a little red like she was flustered.
"The number we talked about just won't work. I have a friend who I think can help. I'll bring the artificial ones in the morning before everyone gets here."
"No problem, we only really need them for the headstones, and on top of the caskets, everything else is just extra," he squeezed her arm again before Mary started walking ahead, she didn't reach for my arm or pat my back acknowledging that I was scared. She didn't slow down for me to catch up, or make small talk to make me feel better she just powered through. When we got outside the Pastor's door she didn't even take a breath or look at me. It's not that Mary babied us, truthfully I was seldomely around Mary outside of the house, and even then she was always helping my mom with something. She was always so busy, and so closed mouth. That drove my dad crazy at times. I just expected her to show a little more compassion.
"Mary, what a pleasure, come in!" He welcomed us. "Let me guess, Soda?" He stuck out his hand to shake mine. I smiled impressed. He gave me a firm handshake. My dad said you could tell a lot about a man from his handshake, I wished my dad could tell me what his meant. He then patted me on the back motioning for me to sit down. "She did a good job describing you, let me tell you!" He was beaming. If I didn't pay attention I could forget he was a pastor. I felt myself relaxing.
"Yeah, and what did she say?" I knew she wouldn't say anything bad, but I was curious to what degree she talked me up.
"Let me see, you're not the ball player, however, you know your way around a car, both inside and out," he winked at me making me blush. "My words not hers," he added making me feel a little better. "You don't know any strangers, easy to get along with, full of life, and are a kind soul, again I may had ad-libbed a bit. You are dating a beautiful lady whose name is Sandy who will be on your arm tomorrow for sure. She's the yin to your yang. Ah, let me see what I am forgetting, your greatest challenge for the next phase of your life will be the balance between your family and your own life." I wondered what all Mary said, and what all he ad-libbed.
"Not bad," I spoke up.
"I make a point to get to know the family. I like to hear about each of ya'lls interpretations of life and of death. That way when I speak tomorrow I can be as personal as possible," he went back and sat at his desk, but he leaned over the desk in a way that still made us seem more as equals than him condemning us to hell. "Mary and I spent a while the other day telling stories and good times, why don't you join in. It'll be nice to pick your brain too."
"What can it hurt?" I shrugged sitting up a little in my chair.
"Actually, it may even help," he winked like he did earlier.
"What'd ya'll talk about yesterday?"
"Let me see, we left off at your dad's job. He hated it, but he never said he hated it, that says a lot about his character." I didn't realize dad hated his job?
"What else? We talked about how both your parents' parents' died young. We talked about how it was a shame the tradition continued. Both only children, determined to make sure they had as many kids as they could finically afford, isn't that how you put it Mary?" He looked over at her. She nodded. "Your mom lived for you kids, but not just her own, but all the gang. She cared for everyone like they were her own, even when they bought their problems into your home. Even when they were angry and mean, she still loved them, the same way she loved all of you. That's special." He acted like I didn't already know that.
"Tell me about your relationship with your dad," he asked after it was hardly quiet for a second. I felt my eyes water thinking about him in the past tense. I could feel the pastor giving me a sympathetic look. I refused to look at him at first, but feeling uncomfortable, I looked up and it wasn't that he was looking at my sympathetically, it was more interested. It was like he was excited to talk to us.
"I've got three kids, one thats 18, one thats 15, and one thats 6. She was our surprise gift from God. What a blessing she is," he continued to smile. I couldn't help but wonder how old he was. He looked my dad's age. Well, my dad didn't look like he was 43, he didn't look a day over 25, but this guy, he looked like he could be 40.
"Dad and I had a good relationship I guess. I guess we argued more than we should about school and work. My parents were always on the same side, there was never any point in trying to get one of them on your side. Dad would say things like, "don't upset your mother," or "don't lie to your mother." I never really understood why he did that. It made it feel like it was okay to upset and lie to him, but not mom. I wish I would have asked him," I started biting my nails.
"They had a good marriage. In Tulsa everyone's parents are split, dead, cheating, or drunks. They were each others' soulmate. I think that's why dad didn't pull through the surgery, he couldn't live without mom," Mary was leaned back in her chair like we were talking about the weather.
"It's a blessing ya'll grew up in that environment, you know how relationships should be," he moved his chair in the middle of Mary so I couldn't see her around him. I was starting to get nervous.
After along pause he spoke up again, "How's Darry doing? I'd be happy to talk to him, or all of you for that matter to get you through this tough time."
"He's okay." I didn't know what else to say. What was even the right answer to that?
"We'll all be fine, but we'll keep that in mind." Mary sounded so relaxed. It made me think I needed to relax too.
"We'll let's just get down to business then, for tomorrow I was thinking it would be best to stay traditional, no surprises . Opening hymn All things are bright and beautiful, and read the scripture psalm 23 The Lord is my Shepard, I'll talk about what you have told me about your family, then I will open the floor for anyone to speak,"I felt my face fall when he said that. I hadn't even been to a funeral before. I never knew my Grandparents, and no one else I knew had died. I wouldn't know what to say.
"I would recommend asking family friends to share stories and memories. Its better to ask them ahead of time. It would be nice if one, or all of you spoke as well." Luckily Mary spoke up before I had to.
"I can do that."
"Good, then after we'll go to the graveyard where I'll pray and then we'll close with Amazing Grace. Mr. Henry said the reception was at your house after?" He turned from me to Mary.
"That's right," she confirmed. This was news to me.
"That'll be lovely, you have someone lined up to help you I'm sure," he put down his note pad and stood up. Mary nodded her head and also stood up, so I stood up not knowing what else to do.
"Do either of you have any question for me?" Both of us shook out head so he smiled then stuck out his hand again. "Alright, we'll you know how to reach me if I can help at all," he patted me on the back as we walked out.
We didn't hardly get out of ear shot before I couldn't help but ask questions.
"Who are you going to get to tell stories tomorrow?" She was walking kind of fast, it was hard to keep up.
"I don't know yet," she told me with out slowing down.
"What about the reception at out house?"
"I don't know," she said the same as before.
"Do you have to make food?"
"I'll probably make snacks," she slowed down only when we got to the car.
"What kind of snacks?" I don't know why I asked, I just did.
"I don't know," She said for the third time getting in the truck.
"Sorry."
"It's okay," she smiled backing out. It was dead silent on the way home. Not even the radio was turned on. It didn't bother me though. I kinda knew what it must feel like to be Pony. To be lost in your own thoughts. "You okay?" She asked when we got into the driveway. My head had just been spinning the whole time we were there. It made me realize how much was going on and how little involved I was or wanted to be.
"I uhm," I tried to think of things to say. I could feel my eyes watered.
"Yeah, it's a lot, but it'll get better, I promise." Mary didn't look at me, I appreciated it because I was about to cry.
"It'll never be the same," my voice didn't crack, but I felt like it might.
"You're right, it wont, but we'll just have to do the best with what we have." I glanced over to Mary and she was stone faced. When she saw I wasn't she pulled me into a hug. The gesture made it harder for me to pull it together. She let go of me and then walked toward the house. I followed behind her.
"How'd it go?" Darry asked as we walked in.
"Mary wasn't kidding, a lot goes into a funeral, there's still so much to do," I sat on a chair at the kitchen table. I felt like I had run a marathon.
"How'd everything go with you?" Mary asked him adding water to the coffee pot.
"I went by the bank, I talked to some people, it went good." Mary nodded when he said that.
"Where's Pony?" She asked.
"He's sleeping. He wasn't too happy I made him go to the bank and to the construction site," Darry shrugged. "I just didn't want him to be here alone."
"Where are all of the guys?" I asked thinking it was weird they weren't here.
"It's a school day, Soda," Darry reminded me and I felt stupid.
"They should be here soon." Mary glanced to our grandfather clock. Before looking in the fridge and cabinets writing what we needed on a piece of paper.
"How's Pony doing?" I asked glad he was sleeping a little. It scared me last night to hear him shout like that.
"We didn't really talk much, he didn't really eat much," Darry shrugged.
"He's probably still processing it all," Mary said sitting on the counter with a cup of coffee. She didn't look like she liked how it tasted.
"I guess. I wish I knew what to do." There was a second it looked like Darry was scared. I'm not saying I blamed him, I definitely was, but there were only a few times I remember seeing him scared.
"Maybe take him to the track or to play football or something? Make him tired, maybe he'll sleep better tonight. Especially if he's sleeping now, he'll need it for tomorrow," Mary suggested. Darry's eyes softened and I could tell he liked this idea.
"I"ll ask the guys to come too, it'll be fun." I added.
"Yeah, okay," Darry agreed. "What are you going to do?"
"I need to go talk to Mrs. Mathews about flowers, and then try to find someone to talk tomorrow, and I need to go by the grocery store. The reception's going to be here after the funeral," Mary leaned her head against the counter behind her.
"Here, why here?" Darry asked sounding concerned.
"It's cheaper," Mary said frankly.
"Oh, okay." That sounded like a good answer to Darry.
"Hopefully it'll be quick," Mary smiled through a sigh. She titled up her cup finishing it off getting off the counter. Darry and Mary looked at each other for a second, before Mary finally spoke.
"We can have a family meeting tonight and walk through it, that way there aren't any surprises," Mary looked over at Darry. Neither of them looked comfortable, I wondered if they were still upset with each other over Franki.
"Hey Mar," Darry grabbed her arm before she turned to leave.
"Don't work too hard," he paused for a second before pulling her bangs behind her ear.
"I'm fine," she gave him a genuine pat on the hand before walking out the door. "Don't let him sleep too long okay, hopefully he'll sleep better tonight," Mary picked up the keys and walked out. I didn't blame Pony for wanting to sleep, I was so tired. Darry must have noticed because he looked at me before speaking.
"It was tough, huh?"
"It's just hard to take it all in, not for Mary though," I put my head down on the arm of the couch.
"She's something," Darry added sitting beside me.
"Now what?" I asked him.
"I don't know, Meghan's coming over," he shrugged rubbing his eyes.
"Oh!" I raised my eye brow.
"No, Soda, I've got more important things now, more important people." He said it so emotionless. How could he have changed that fast? He would have jumped at the opportunity to be with Meghan. He was always talking them up!
"Oh please, don't use us as an excuse!" I nudged his arm. I hardly even got a smile out of him.
"I'm serious Pepsi, things are different now," he didn't look at me when he said that. It was like he didn't want to believe it either. I didn't want to press it, so I let it go.
A/N. Kinda of a dull chapter I know. I'm just as ready to heat it back up as you are, but I had to get some details in there. What are you thinking?
