A/N I have finished the next two chapters now, so the updates will be faster! I got a little discouraged because I didn't think it was going as well as I had imagined it, but I tried to be more detailed and to spend more time in each point of view really focusing on emotions, so let me know what you think. Flames are welcome, as if constructive criticism, how else will I know what everyone wants?

"Karen, help me stir would you please?" I asked Karen not really asking. I had learned through parenting that you had to trick your children into thinking they had a choice in the matter, when truthfully they didn't. They'd do what I asked if they knew what was good for them. That's not to say they wouldn't test me. Lord knows they would. Especially, Two-bit, he would argue with the Devil himself, and he would probably win.

Karen stood up from the couch and moved my direction with out saying a word, not even an eye roll or a heavy sigh. She walked by Keith and neither acknowledged each other. Normally he would reach out to tickle or grab her or just annoy the hell out of her, but today was different. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. A skill I developed once I had Keith, I gained about two more inches in my vision, which I needed for when he was younger, I needed all the help I could get to keep him our of trouble, and even that didn't help. Every time I turned around he was into something. His feet were on my table, he knew better. I wasn't going to say anything, because I was worried about him. I knew how to pick my fights. He had a melancholy look in his eye that I hadn't seen in quite a while, hardly ever actually. That was something I loved about him the most, he knew how to spin life to make it better than it actually was. It hurt to see him look like that. I can't say I blamed him, seeing the accident described in the paper was enough to make anyone with a soul feel bad. It came out in the morning's paper. I tried my best to hide it from the kids, but Two-bit beat me to the paper. It doesn't matter how old your kids get, you'll never stop trying to protect them.

I walked over to him and stood above him running my finger though his hair like I use to do when he was little. I was standing above him while he sat in a chair. He didn't look at me, he just leaned his head into my stomach. Neither of us spoke, I didn't know what to say, for the first time, his jokes wouldn't have been helpful either. You couldn't make this satiation better through humor.

Karen looked over to me when I was sure the soup was done, but she turned back around not wanting to interrupt us, she was smart for her age. You had to be in this part of town, you grow up fast or you get left behind. We only pulled away when I heard someone at the door. Two-bit stood up so fast that you would have thought that his pants were on fire.

"Mar," he opened the door for her. I could tell both of them were uncomfortable, Mary had many only been here one or two other times.

"Come on in, sweetie, you never need to knock!" I tried to make it less uncomfortable. "Karen here is making some soup, would you like to stay for supper?"

"I really appreciate the offer, but I'm just here to talk to you about flowers," she shifted from one leg to the other.

"Then you've come to the right place, we've got a whole closet full of them," Two-bit started walking towards the hallway closet.

"Keith," I hissed at him. The closet was where I piled in most of my crafting crap as Two-bit called it.

"What?" He held up his hands.

"Go help your sister," I pushed him out of the way, and motioned for Mary to follow me. "I tried my hand at arranging flowers for the church," I tried to explain the mess to her. "It didn't exactly work out," I stated the obvious showing her the mess.

"Lucky for me, we don't have any. I'm going to get some real ones for the graves, but I figured I'd talk to you about the ones to put on the casket, I guess, or wherever they go." I was amazed at how freely she spoke, it made me think it hadn't hit her yet.

"It's closed casket?"

"Yes, there was no other option," she told me searching through the junk.

I shifted from one leg to there other as I thought about what to say, Two-bit had told me everything Mary had handled since the accident, I wasn't sure she had time to process it all.

"I'm sorry you won't be able to see them to say good bye," I put my hand on her shoulder and she jumped a little, but she looked at me a smiled slightly trying to comfort me.

"It's better this way, I wouldn't want them to remember them that way," she picked up some flowers and then looked back to me. She wasn't half bad at arranging them.

"Two-bit told me that the police had you identify your mom, it must be hard to get that image out of your head," she looked at me for a second when I said that, but let out a sigh with out speaking right away.

"Better me than them," she finally said holding up a bouquet. I nodded my head approving.

"Mary, you don't have to do this alone," I gave her shoulder a squeeze. This time she turned around to face me. She looked at me confused, like she didn't know what I was saying, but then she spoke up and confirmed my suspicions.

"I'm not, Darry's taking care of the expenses, Soda's taking care of Pony, you're helping me with the flowers," she looked at me like I had three heads. I knew she was as stubborn as Two-bit right now and I wouldn't get her to listen.

"I just don't want you to feel this added burden alone, honey," I moved back a little bit, I didn't want to crowd her. She looked at me like she wanted to say something, but she just closed her mouth.

"The reception is at our house after the service," she paused putting a ribbon around some flowers, besides having the house clean and some snacks, what do I need to do for that?"

It was my turn to sigh as I watched the poor girl tie another bundle. I would have felt better if she just started crying or complaining about how unfair it was. I was use to that.

"Maybe put together some photos out on a table, it should be a nice day put some folding chairs out on your porch, set up a table outside to keep everyone out of your house. You don't want them to get too comfy. Don't cook much or no one will leave." I had been to my fair share of funerals and lots of times family would just hang around for the longest time. I didn't know what the Curtis' would be like though; they didn't have family, only lots of friends, but none of them were super close, they were a super close family, always something going on. "What about one of your mamma's special appetizers she made every year at the Christmas party?" I suggested as she walked out of the closet.

"I'm not sure I could make it like hers," Mary smiled and I couldn't resist putting my hand on her cheek.

"Why don't you let me whip something up?" I almost begged her.

"That's real sweet of you honest, but you've already done so much, and you've got work," she motioned to my outfit.

"I don't mind calling in," I was being honest I didn't, but I knew she would refuse. She gave me a real soft smile like her mom's as she declined my offer.

"I've really got a lot to do, I just came by for some flowers. You have a good night," Mary started backing up.

"What do you have left? Between you, Karen, and Two-bit you'll have it done in no time!" I suggested again.

"Honestly, I've got to run try to catch my Dad's boss unless you can think of someone better to speak at the funeral tomorrow?" She glanced at the clock over the stove.

"That'll be lovely, are you kids going to speak?" Darrel Sr. and his boss had been best friends since they moved to Tulsa, they reminded me a lot of Steve and Soda truthfully.

She nodded her head, "I gotta figure out what I'm going to say, and ask the guys if they want to say anything," she crinkled her nose.

"Just say what comes to heart, don't over think it," I squeezed her arm.

"Thanks again for everything," she fiddled with the bottom seam in her skirt.

"It's nothing, dear don't mention it! Two-bit'll walk you out," I motioned him to come over. He did and they both walked out. I watched from the window as the two of them tried their best to act normal, something told me this was going to a common occurrence.

xxxxxx

"Pony," I head someone say from the door. I opened my eyes and rolled over to see Darry. I didn't say anything I just looked at him. He walked over and sat at the end of my bed. I felt his weight on the bottom of my bed, but I just couldn't look at him, and I didn't know why.

"How are you doing, buddy?" He put his hand on my leg. I squinted my eyes at the light and sat up wondering what to say.

"Yeah, me too," Darry just sat on the end of my bed, and I sat up. We were looking at each other, but we weren't really looking at each other. I went to bed hoping that when I woke up this would have all just been some nightmare. I was realizing that the nightmare was really only beginning.

"What do you think about going down to the lot to play some football with the guys?" Just him mentioning football made my stomach ache for him quitting.

"Come, on, It'll be fun!" Darry encouraged me. I just looked at him not saying anything laying back down on my back looking at the ceiling.

I didn't feel uncomfortable with Darry, he had definitely sat on my bed many other times before, but it was just different now. He wasn't sitting on my bed because he wanted to, he was doing it because he had to, and that just changed everything. Maybe it shouldn't, and maybe he didn't mean for it to, but it still did. He laid down beside me but he was on his back so we weren't looking at each other. We just both looked at the ceiling. I wonder if he felt as lost as me. I wondered if he didn't know what to say or how to feel.

"It's going to get better, I'm not going to let you down." Darry said to me, but it didn't feel like he was really talking to me.

Soda opened the door to our room smiling, "here you are!" He plopped down in the middle of Pony and I. "What are we doing?" He asked. Soda had a personality that no one else in this world had. I could count the times I had seen him act selfish on one hand.

"Relaxing," I answered before Darry did.

"Why?" Soda pulled his knees up to his chest and leaned against the bed board.

"Not every one is in constant movement," Darry nudged Soda's arm. Soda couldn't sit still if you paid him.

"Well, we gotta go! The guys are waiting on us!" Soda stood up and started bouncing on the bed. I heard my Mom's voice in my head telling him to get off, but I couldn't do that to the kid.

"Come on Pone," Soda called over his shoulder. I looked at Darry for a second standing up. I didn't want to play football, I was surprised Darry wanted to.

"It'll be fun," Darry put a fake smile on his face. He looked so tired, it made me feel guilty he felt that way. It was my fault, because I kept him up.

"Where's Mary?" I asked moving off the bed.

"She had some stuff to finish up, let's go!" Darry clapped his hands. It didn't make me move any faster.

"There you are kid! You're going to be late to your own fu-" Two-bit started speaking then stopped realizing what he was about to say. I knew what he was going to say, my dad use to say it all the time. I tried my best to act like it didn't bother me. I walked out the door with Darry, but I heard Steve ridicule Two-bit.

We walked down the street to the lot, but the only thing said was small talk I didn't listen too. I was thinking about the funeral. I was wondering what a funeral was like, I had never been to one.

"You ever been to a funeral," I asked Johnny quietly. It wasn't quiet enough. Everyone heard and stopped talking to listen.

"Nah, I've never cared about anyone who died," Johnny shrugged his shoulders handing me a cancer stick.

"Yeah, me neither," I took it thinking about how I had never known anyone who died.

"Mary said she'd talk to us more about that tonight," Soda looked over at me. It wasn't a typical Soda look that he gave me either, it was a different one. It wasn't the sad look he had been giving me earlier, and it wasn't the helpless look Darry gave me, it was like nothing I had ever seen before.

"You ain't got nothin' to worry about kid, if it's anything like my mom's it'll be over before you even know it." Steve didn't look at me, and I didn't look over towards him. I forgot his mom had died. It had been such a long time ago, she never really came up. After she died Steve's dad just started to spiral more and more down hill. At first I don't think it was so bad, but I over time it got worse, and the older Steve got more anger he got toward his dad. I could only remember anyone talking about Steve's mom once, and that was my parents. They were on the porch and I was in the living room listening. Everyone always thinks that because you are outside you can't be heard, but you can.

"I'm sure he's real sad his wife died, Mary Ann, but that ain't Steve's fault. This time every year he makes Steve's life a living hell. It ain't like it happened yesterday."

"It's not Steve fault your right, but it also isn't his. I just think about what kind of shape I would be in I lost you," My mom always knew how to make my dad be quiet.

"You wouldn't take it out on the kids," Dad specified.

"I know I wouldn't, but I know it wouldn't be easy, and time wouldn't make it any easier."

"All I'm saying honey, is that Steve needs a better male role model in his life. If he keeps coming here because his dad got rough he's going to turn into an other hood. What if he thinks its okay to treat his kids that way?"

"Well I guess he's pretty lucky he's got you, all of these boys are." I saw my mom push my dad kiddingly. They did that a lot. I'd seen Darry and Meghan do that before too.

"These kids are pretty lucky to have both of us," Dad kissed her.

"How sad is it that we're the only ones that raise both of our children? I mean think about it Darrel, Two-bits dad walked out, Johnny's parents might as well have, Dallas' on his own, the Shepard's have their parents sometimes, but-" Mom started, but Dad cut in.

"Ours are lucky, they know it too."

"You alright kid," Two-bit asked me grabbing my arm.

"Yeah, why?" I shook my head not wanting to loose my daydream.

"You just about fell off the curb, kiddo" Soda grabbed my sleeve and moved me on the other side of him. It wasn't like there were many cars anyway.

"I'm fine," I grumbled. I didn't want them babying me to become a thing. I could see them all looking at each other even though I was looking at the ground.

We pretty much walked the rest of the way in silence, but I didn't mind.

"I'll pick teams with you muscles," Two-bit put both his hands on Darry's shoulder. I started to look around for Dally, he always picked teams with Darry. Dally and Darry would always arm wrestle for fist pick when my dad played, which wasn't all that often. My dad never worked on Sundays. But sometimes he would go shopping with my mom or read the paper. He did a lot of yard work and working on the trucks with Soda. That didn't really leave so much time for pick up games, but when he did play it was awesome. If there's one thing greasers have in common, other than hair grease, it'd be their competitiveness.

"Where's Dally?" I didn't think much of the question. Dally was probably around the least out of everyone. He was more of a hood than the rest of us, he would do things a lot of us wouldn't do, like screw with Shepard's car for the heck of it, or jump little kids.

Dally was my buddy in all, but that was something I never understood him about. He would jump kids for no reason. He wouldn't hurt them on nothing, but he'd sure scare the Jesus out of them. He was my buddy and all, and I'd defend him until I was blue in the face, but that didn't mean that I understood him.

I didn't think much of my question was until I felt the awkwardness. "What?" I asked again more hesitantly this time.

The guys all looked at each other waiting for the others to speak.

"He uh, he's in the slammer Pone," Darry said with out much ease.

"oh," from the looks on their faces and the way they were acting I would thought it was something more serious. Not that anything could really top the news we got yesterday. "What's the big deal, he gets hauled in all the time?"
This got an eye roll out of Steve, and a solemn look that was out of the ordinary from Two-bit.

"He'll miss the service," I whispered with out really meaning to.

"Bingo," Steve smirked. I thought about it a little longer before speaking again.

"Maybe its for the better," I shrugged my shoulders.

"That's what I told Mar Bear!" Two-bit said cheerfully, Darry shot him a look and Two-bit shrugged adding, "what, I did!"

We played football, but none of us were really playing. There wasn't much loud mouthing or impressive passes. There were more fumbles and incomplete passes than ever before. Eventually we packed it up and turned back towards the house, I couldn't help but get Dally off my mind.

"You think Dally's mad he's missing the service? I mean he won't get to say good bye?" I didn't know much about funerals or any of that stuff, but I did know that they were supposed to provide closure, and I knew I needed some. I thought everyone would want that.

"I don't think he's going to miss too much sleep over it," Steve muttered, but I heard him.

"Don't worry about Dallas Pony, lord knows we've got enough to worry about as is," Darry put his hand on the back of my head. He was so much bigger than me. I think roofing this summer made him even bigger. His one hand pretty much went across my whole neck.

"You don't think he did it on purpose do you?" I finally started to connect the dots.

"For how much book smarts you got kid, you don't got a lick of common sense." Steve made fun of me. I didn't really care, I was too busy thinking about Dally intentionally getting hauled in.

"What'd he do?" I asked.

"That's enough Pony," Darry tired to end my curiosity, little did he know it would only make me more curious.

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