Chapter 20
Riding up the elevator, Spinelli could recall the exact moment he laid eyes on his Fair Samantha outside of Kelly's on a cold November night. The Goddess of Hotness was the name he had officially given her, for that was exactly what she was: A Goddess and she was HOT. His lips curved softly, the smile not reaching his eyes when he remembered their encounter and the events that unfolded. He was working for Alcazar at the time and the former DA to frame Fair Samantha but Stone Cold and his Goddess caught up to his treachery. And instead of throwing him out into the streets when all was cleared, Stone Cold and his Goddess gave him a home and a job and…. Friendship and family. An ache in his chest caused him to frown thinking about the recent events, Fair Samantha was gone and it was all his fault. He heard noise coming from the living room but he did nothing to stop it, he had no idea and he didn't suspect a thing, the penthouse was Stone Cold's lair and no one in their right mind would ever think to harm the Goddess in the fortress of solitude, he was naive. He should have protected her better, should never had left her, but in all honestly, he just didn't know, he was the Jackal, the Assassin of Cyberspace, he wasn't equipped to handle dangerous situations, he wasn't even sure how to spot them, so he never knew while he was in the kitchen making himself a sandwich that Fair Samantha was in the other room getting kidnapped. His Maximista tried to reassure him that it was not his fault, that there was no way that he could've known what was happening. Spinelli didn't agree with her entirely. But something didn't sit right with him, something just didn't make sense, something was bugging him, calling out for his attention, so he spent the past hour at the blonde one's apartment gathering all the information and facts for Stone Cold. It just didn't make sense. He just hoped that his poor master was up for it.
Exiting the elevator, Spinelli turned left to go home but was stopped short at the defeated sights of the faithful guards, Max and Milo. Seeing the sadness in their eyes reminded Spinelli, yet again, that his beautiful Goddess was gone. Giving them a short nod, Spinelli pulled out his keys, ready to enter his home but came to a halt when Max's arm came into view, effectively blocking him.
"Hey Spinelli." Max greeted the kid, by the sadness in his eyes and his defeated posture, Max knew that Spinelli heard about Sam. All it did was just increase the sadness in his heart, tightening it painfully. He hated to do this but he felt that Jason needed to be alone. "I um… I don't think you should be here right now…" He paused to take a controlled breath and looked over at his brother for an agreement, seeing him nod gave him reassurance that they were on the same page. "Maybe you could stay over Maxie's…"
Spinelli cut him off before he could finish. "But Stone Cold needs me. The master would need his friend, his grasshopper…"
"I think that Jason just wants to be alone right now, we heard some things being thrown around Spinelli, I don't he's up for seeing anyone tonight. Sam's…." Max took a deep breath to control the sudden ache in his heart, his eyes misting at the words he couldn't believe he was going to say… "Sam's death…. It came as a huge blow and I don't know if he's up to seeing anyone."
"But…. But….."
"How about you stay over at Sonny's penthouse for the night, across the hall, maybe stay for the week, just to given Jason some time alone."
"But… this is my home." Was the only thing Spinelli could think of. Feeling his heart break further and the tears that pooled in his eyes, Spinelli spoke from his heart. "Stone Cold and Fair… Fair Samantha took me in…" His words breaking as he choked them out. "They are my family… this… this is my home…."
A low scraping noise was heard that stopped all three men in their tracks, almost sounding as if something was be dragged across the floor, or shoved hard. A soft click sounded and a turn of the door knob had all three men looking towards the source, the penthouse door was cracked open. Taking this as his cue, Spinelli made his way passed the guards, reaching the door, he slowly pushed it open to reveal the destruction that was laid before him. In his home. The home that he once shared with both of his dear friends was almost destroyed. A sniffle to his right caught his attention and Spinelli found himself looking down at the broken enforcer sitting with his back up against the wall, looking sad, lost and completely destroyed. Spinelli had never seen his friend this way, never in his wildest dreams did he think that he would ever see his Stone Cold master turned into a crying lump on the floor. Carefully stepping fully into the penthouse, Spinelli closed the door closing off the concerned looks that Max and Milo were giving their boss as they looked down at him. He cleared his throat, about to speak of his sorrows and offer condolence but Jason beat him to it.
"You're right." His voice was husky and rough, sounding more pained, and Spinelli's heart broke more. "This is your home. Sam…" Jason took a deep breath, wiping the moisture from his nose as his tears clouded his eyes again. "Sam would want you here, she would want you safe."
Hearing his friend and partner's name, Spinelli felt nothing but grief over her loss. "I'm so sorry Stone Cold, I… I don't even know what to say… it's just… none of this makes sense… none of this should've happened, nothing should've befallen Fair Samantha… it's all too confusing… the Jackall doesn't know what to say…"
"There's nothing to say Spinelli… Sam is… gone." He whispered out brokenly, still not believing the words that escaped him.
Shaking his head, Spinelli walked over to the overturned coach and sat awkwardly on the edge, lost in his own thoughts. "It doesn't make sense…"
Jason looked up at the younger kid and looked around the destruction that his own hands had created. He felt guilty. This was Spinelli's home too and Jason destroyed it, he couldn't help it though, he was too overcome by darkness, too overcome by grief that he couldn't control his rage. As he looked back at Spinelli, he could see that he was muttering something to himself, almost as if trying to solve a puzzle. "What are you saying?" He questioned then thought about Spinelli's last statement. "What doesn't make sense?"
"This!" A little taken back by his own outburst, Spinelli reeled himself in. "All of this. The whole situation regarding Fair Samantha and the horrific events that unfolded. It just doesn't make any sense." Seeing Jason give him a confusing look, Spinelli pressed on to what he was thinking. "If the Demented PI was so desperate to have the Fair Samantha, so desperate that he would break into our home to drug you and the Divine One, hoping to break you and Fair Samantha up, only to kidnap her later… Why would he just hand her over? Why would he just relinquish all claim to her and give her over to the Evil One? I mean one would assume that the Demented PI went through all that trouble with his heinous acts to gain the Fair Samantha, but why surrender her now?"
Hearing Spinelli refer Aidan brought a whole new meaning of rage to Jason. The bastard had kidnapped the woman he loved, handed her over to the Balkan, and left her to die. There was nowhere on Earth Aidan could hide, Jason would leave everything behind to hunt the son of a bitch and bring him down to his knees where he would make him suffer, painfully and slowly, until he died. "It doesn't matter why he did it." He said roughly.
"But don't you see Stone Cold, it does matter, everything matters. Look…" Spinelli dug into his bag and pulled out a manila folder and walked over to Jason whom was still sitting on the floor. "The Jackal is regretfully sorry but I couldn't help, I had to look, I needed all the facts before I was to believe that the Goddess was truly gone. Aside from the horrific pictures of Fair Samantha's… burned body, The Jackal went through all the footage, but something doesn't feel right Stone Cold, something is amiss. If you…"
"Forget it Spinelli." He couldn't sit here any longer, he barely could wrap his mind around the fact that Sam was gone, that his beautiful, vibrant, full of life Sam was gone. Spinelli wanted him to look at a file of her… Oh God of her poor burned body… that was not the last image that Jason needed to see, but knowing that a certain part of him would never NEVER finally accept that she was truly gone until he looked at the pictures, but not tonight. Jason was not ready to see those tonight. "I'm going to bed, just leave the file…" Without another word, he trudged up the stairs as if he was climbing up a steep mountain, his legs barely carried him and he could barely breathe knowing where he was going to end up.
Pausing just for a second by his bedroom door, Jason forced air into lungs, making them work. He wasn't ready to go in, but he had to, this was where he belonged tonight. Reaching for the door knob, he turned it and slowly opened, gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw as the lingering scent of vanilla assaulted him. Staggering forward, he slammed the door shut with his body as he fell on it, taking the hits of the sweet fragrance that she wore. His closed his eyes as he took a deep breath in, breath out, in and out, until every cell in his entire body was basking in the scent. Not bothering with a shower or any bedtime rituals, not even bothering to take off his boots, Jason stumbled over to his bed and planted himself face first into her pillow. Reaching underneath, he grabbed the soft object with two hands, fisted it in place, holding it to his face as he turned to his side taking the pillow and her fragrance that lingered on it with him. She was here, in that one small moment of time, he allowed himself to believe that she was here with him and he was holding her tight as he held on to her pillow as if it were his only lifeline as he drifted off to a dark sleep with her name on his lips. "Sammm…"
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The sound of his cell phone woke him up from his nightmare, the image of Sam's plane exploding was the only thing that played in his head as soon as he closed his eyes. For once, he was thankful for the disturbance. It was his mother, calling him to offer her condolences and to ask him if he needed anything. He had sighed, thinking that this was soon going to be a pattern, people calling him, telling him how sorry they are, how much Sam was loved and will be missed and if he needed anything. He would tell them all to go to Hell, but to his mother, he thanked her for her kind words and respectfully declined her need to help him, to comfort him. There was nothing that she or anyone could say that would give him the smallest amount of comfort.
Realizing that he wasn't going to fall back asleep anytime soon, he dragged the covers off of his weary body and stumbled his way downstairs. His head was pounding, thanks to the drinking that he did the night before, or should he say a few hours before. But he did actually accomplish what he had sought out in the first place, dull the pain, but it was still there. The penthouse was still a mess, and he was so not ready to deal with cleaning it up just yet. Spinelli was safe in his room but the place still seemed empty, he felt alone. Not wanting to deal with that thought again, he stumbled his way to the kitchen and ripped out another beer from the fridge. Bottoms up. He knocked it back, barely giving himself time to breathe during gulps. Placing the now empty bottle on the counter, he grabbed another from the fridge and made his way over to the living room. The file on the desk caught his sight, the file that Spinelli had brought over to him the night before, detailing the final hours of Sam's life. His heart tightened painfully, taking a deep pull from his beer, he made his way to the desk, picked up the file and walked towards the overturned coffee table. Righting it the best he could with one hand, he placed the beer and file on the table and walked around to fix the couch. Staring at the file as if it offended him, Jason grabbed the beer and drank the remaining contents. He couldn't do this.
He couldn't open it, he couldn't bear to see what it contained, he knew that there would be detailed reports of the events from last night, details that he would like to read about but he also knew that pictures of her poor burned body would be in them as well. How could he do it? Was he ready to deal with all that yet? No. He would never be ready. He still wasn't ready to say goodbye, still wasn't ready to wrap his mind around the fact that he will never see her sweet face again. His tears clouded his vision as the alcohol was clouding his judgment. Obviously the beer wasn't helping and he was not ready to knock down another bottle of tequila just yet, give him another hour… or less. Glaring at the file, he looked down at the now empty bottle in his hand, he needed something else to help him look at that file. He needed a clear head, he needed coffee. Rising up, he went to the kitchen and made himself a fresh pot, waiting until it was ready before he dared open the folder. Maybe there was something in it that would help him find the bastard that took Sam. And when he found him, he would torture him.
Sitting down on the couch, placing his full coffee mug on the table, Jason clenched and unclenched his fists as he finally found the courage to open the folder. He nearly doubled over in pain at the sight before him. There, staring up at him were the pictures from the coroner. Sam's burned body. Photos and photos of all angles of her, 90% of her body was burned except for her some of her legs and feet and that was probably only because of the boots that she wore and because of the way she was sitting on the plane. A new hatred for Aidan resurfaced and surged through Jason, it felt as though lava was suddenly pouring into his bloodstream, heating his rage to an all time high. She should never have been there in the first place, but she was and that was because he couldn't protect her. He brought Brenda into their lives and with Brenda came the Balkan. The Balkan used Sam as an exchange and that was because she was associated with HIM. How much had she suffered because of him? How much had she lost because of him? A knew found hatred formed, but not for Aidan, or the Balkan, not even for Sonny, it was for himself. With shaky hands, he spread out the pictures one by one all across the coffee table, to remind him of the destruction that he had brought down on the woman he loved.
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She needed to see him, needed to offer him comfort because she knew he would be a mess. Carly was never Sam's favorite person, but she was glad that Sam made Jason happy and that was all that mattered. But now, seeing her friend in this state of heartache caused her own heart to break. In the middle of the destroyed penthouse, her best friend sat on the couch reading a file, a video was paused on the laptop screen and as she walked closer, she saw the pictures littered on the coffee table. The gasp that escaped her lips probably brought Jason's attention to her. She looked at him, tears misted her eyes as she took in his state. He looked lost, defeated, his eyes were bloodshot, dark circles formed beneath them, his hair was a mess probably from spearing his fingers through them, he was broken. "Jason…" She whispered his name and then turned back to the horrific pictures, swallowing the bile that rose in her throat.
He turned his head back to the pictures of Sam's burned body. And just as she was about to reach them to clean them up, he held out his arm and stopped her. "NO! Don't touch them. They stay where they are."
She fell onto the couch in defeat and sadness. "Why are they here? This isn't right Jason."
"No, it's not." He nodded in agreement. "None of this is right. Her being gone isn't right. But it's all I have right now." When she looked at him confused, he pressed on. "Her things upstairs, her clothes, her shoes, her… stuff…" He took a deep breath to compose himself. "Those are just reminders of her being here, they make me feel like one day she's going to come walk through that door and everything will be ok. But it's not… and she won't ever come back. These, these pictures are going to remind me of it, they're going to remind me that she's… gone… and… and that she's never coming back. So don't touch them, just… just leave them where they are." He choked on his emotions and turned back to the file that he was reading about Devane. Something was missing, almost as if a chunk of his life was missing somehow. He remembered Spinelli telling him that he was in Pine Valley for a few years, but it doesn't state that in the police reports. Something was missing.
"You know." Carly started, hoping to get his attention away from the file in hopes of getting him to open up to her, maybe then he would look at this a different way and not blame himself, which she knew he was doing. "I never really liked her." She saw a small shift in his posture, taking that as a good sign, she continued. "It wasn't really HER I didn't like, I mean, I'm sure that if we met under different circumstances, I would actually see ourselves as friends…" He scoffed at that, she continued on. "It was just the situation that we were all in: you fighting with Courtney, me with Lorenzo, Sonny thinking I betrayed him…."
"You did betray him."
"Yeah well, he wasn't a saint either. Shacking up with the first woman he saw and knocking her up. I hated her. But now and with EVERYTHING that happened I learned to tolerate her, but only for your sake. I love you Jason and I only wanted to see you happy."
"She makes… MADE me happy." He hated to use past tense, wasn't ready to do it, but the files and pictures before him made it all too real.
"I saw it, hell the entire town saw it. No matter what happened, you two always found your way back together." She ended it there, she wasn't sure what else to say. They did found their way back to each other but only to lose one another. Not helping it, she turned back to the pictures and something caught her eye. "Hmmm…" She never knew.
"What?" He asked on a reflex without looking up.
"Wow, I never knew she had one. I mean it's no big deal, I have one, you have one but I never knew she did."
"Carly what the hell are you talking about?"
"I never knew Sam had a tattoo."
"What?" He was clearly confused by that comment. He looked at her as if she was out of her mind. "Sam doesn't have a tattoo."
"Well maybe she got it when you guys weren't together. It's no big deal Jason…."
"Carly!" He raised his tone to stop her rambling. "Sam never had a tattoo." He stressed out.
"Then what's that?" She pointed to one of the pictures at the far end of the table.
Jason followed her direction, pointing to a picture furthest away from him. There was no way he was going to find what she was claiming. Jason knew Sam's entire body as the back of his hand, he loved that body, worshipped it many times with his mouth and hands and he knew 100% without a doubt that Sam never had a tattoo. Looking at the picture, it was a shot of her feet, some was burned except a portion of skin still visible along the calf and sure enough, there was a tattoo, a big butterfly tattoo. WHAT THE FUCK?
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Aidan sat in the chair as he watched the woman he loved, Samantha stir slightly from her deep drug induced sleep. He had thought long and hard and came to a decision. He had an idea, a brilliant wonderful idea, an idea that would remove Jason from her thoughts and only have them centered on him. But he would have to stop drugging her first, he couldn't keep her this way, she was of no use to him. Of course he could've gotten his way with her at anytime but Aidan wanted a willing participate, wanting HER. He needed her to want him in return, yearn for him, beg for him, needing him as much as he needed her. So he stopped the medication and pulled out her IV, bandaged her up and waited. Now sitting on the chair next to her bed, he stroked her hair as he waited for her to wake up.
