Two- bit walked in our house hung over, a part of me wanted to give him a hard time about it, but an other part of my understood. I can't say I wouldn't be right there with him if I didn't have three kids depending on my to keep my shit together. I acted like I didn't notice, and he acted like he didn't know I knew. Steve on the other hand, he came in looking like he was hit by a train. I was glad I didn't say that thought out loud, because there was no joking about things like that anymore. It wasn't long now until we had to get down to the church. I couldn't explain the dread I was feeling. I was kinda glad it's closed casket because I thought it'd be easier to pretend it didn't happen if I didn't see them. Pony got in the shower before Mary, and he was going to try on pants to make sure they fit. It had been awhile since we'd dressed up real nice.
When Mary walked in the front door I was confused, "I thought you were in the bathroom?" I asked her.
"No I was drying my hair, you know it looks better when it air dries," she acted like that was common knowledge, how was I suppose to know that.
"The air outside isn't any different than the air inside it'd dry the same in here," Pony informed her walking in the room with his pants much too short. I bit back a laugh, but Steve didn't.
"Glory kid, we're going to have to beat the ladies off with a stick!" Steve snickered.
"I'm not real interested in meeting a girl at my parents funeral," Pony muttered. That shut Steve up real fast.
"Steve didn't mean it, he's just an ass," Mary surprised me when she said that. I didn't know if I should have said something, but Pony got a kick out of it, and I had been missing his smile.
"There's one of Darry's old suites in Dad's closet, maybe that'll do," Mary told him turning toward their bedroom. I hadn't even looked in their bedroom, I guess I was feeling like Soda, and I thought if I didn't look in their room, I couldn't see that they weren't in there and then I wouldn't have to acknowledge that they really weren't coming back. Soda hadn't made a move to get ready yet. There was still an hour before we really needed to break camp. I wasn't going to pressure him, he was fragile right now, and he was doing his best not to show it. Mary came back out not long after and handed a suite I did recognize to Pony, "just try it, if it doesn't work hell, wear your pajamas," Mary lifted his chin up with her hand and ruffled his hair. She had a real smile on her face, it was contagious, she got one out of Pony. I admired her ability to find happiness. I stood their dumbfounded while she walked and sat in Soda lap. She sat long way across the chair so her legs hung off the arm.
"How was breakfast?" She asked him.
"I wasn't too hungry," he shrugged. It broke my heart to see such a happy go lucky guy suffer the way he was.
"Yeah, I hear that," She paused but then grinned real big.
"What?" He asked grinning back.
"later today we should make a really sugary chocolate cake. It should be so sugary that we go into a food coma and sleep the rest of the day." Our family loved chocolate cake so much it didn't even really make sense.
"Sounds real nice Mar," Soda agreed. Mary stood up and walked over to the kitchen to pour more coffee. I went and collapsed on the couch beside Two-bit.
"Hey Mar bear," Two-bit sounded pathetic.
"Hey, Two-bit," Mary looked over to him.
"Franki's an ass, just wait 'till Dallas gets out we'll make him sorry," Two-bit didn't look at her, in fact his eyes were closed. Mary's smile faded when he said that, but she uttered a, "Thanks Two-bit," and stood up kinda fast.
"How'd you know about Sylvia? We're you at Buck's?" Steve asked Two-bit. Mary moved over to the sink and sat on the counter after pouring an other cup of coffee.
"What about Sylvia? I was at Buck's but she wasn't?" Two-bit's hands were over his eyes at this point.
Meghan walked in the door, and I felt a little bit of dread she was here. I didn't realize that was a bad thing until later.
"Ya'll look nice," Meghan walked in and sat beside me looking around at everyone.
"You look nice," I kissed her cheek.
"Thanks," She smiled at me.
"Steve, don't" Mary said from the kitchen. I was starting to think that somehow Steve new Sylvia cheated on Dallas, but Two-bit didn't.
"What's going on?" Meghan asked trying to keep up. I knew it was about to get ugly.
"Sylvia was two timing Dallas lastnight with Franki," Steve didn't listen to Mary's plea.
"Who the hell told you that?" Two-bit hissed.
"Don't push me Steve, I push back," Mary warned. I wasn't sure what that meant, but it shut Steve up pretty quick. I opened my mouth to say something when Two-bit spoke up.
"Is that true?" Two-bit now turned to Meghan. When he sat up he looked like he was going to hurl.
"Well, apparently Angela ruined then mood when she threatened them, but I wouldn't put it past either of them," Mary shrugged like she was over it. The look on Steve's face made me know something else was going on between the two of them. Meghan noticed it too.
"Son of a," Two-bit started rattling off all kinds of curse words.
"Come on Two-bit," I shushed him when I heard Pony coming out of his room.
"What, I can't be upset for my buddy?" Two-bit laid back down. Pony walked over to Mary.
"I look like Darry," he acted like that was a bad thing.
"Nah, your eyes are too kind," she glanced at me before looking at him more.
"I don't know how to tie this," Pony handed it to her. She put it over her neck tied it, then slid it back over his and tightened it.
"Impressive," Soda complimented from the chair.
"Who taught you how to do that?" Meghan was truthfully just trying to start conversation, but I knew mom and dad didn't teach her, so that only left…
"Franki," Mary replied letting go of the tie. Two-bit swore under his breath.
"You look tuff, kiddo," Marry called him dad's name. Then she beifly half hugged him.
"I guess I better go change so Mary can tie my tie too," Soda stood up with a groan stretching.
"You don't know how to tie a tie?" I asked him shocked.
"Not all of us are fancy smancy football players that have to dress up on game day! Some of us are just ordinary hoods. Hell, I don't know when the last time I wore a tie was, or where one even is!" Soda was goofing off now, everyone got a chuckle out of it. I knew he knew how to tie a tie, but it was true, the football players were the only ones that wore ties, and most of them were socs. Soda disappeared to his room with Pony. I nudged Meghan to talk to Mary, but before she had a chance Mary jumped down, "I gotta go."
"Hey Mary," the way Two-bit said her name made me think he was going to drop an other bomb. I felt myself sit up to prepare for it.
"I saw your panties," he winked at her. I could feel my face get hot when he said that. It was my little sister, she however dished it right back at him.
"No you didn't," she told him confidently.
"Oh yeah, how do you know?" He cocked an eye brow.
"Trust me, you couldn't have," she whispered in his ear, but not really whispered, I heard it with out even trying.
"You're not wearing any? You're not wearing panties to a funeral!" Two-bit's grin was back.
"I'll see ya'll there," she was smiled slightly as she walked out the door.
Xxxxx
I walked out of the house smiling at my remark to Two-bit, and the look on Darry's face, but it could only last for so long. By the time I got in the truck I was already realizing how real this was all about to get. I only had about an hour before Darry and the guys would roll up, it was just enough time to put on the flowers and talk to the pastor before it all started. I didn't want to be there too early.
I wasn't really feeling well, and I didn't know if it was because I was nervous or if I was hung over. I kept the windows rolled down and tried my best to relax, it's easier said than done. When I walked in the funeral hall, I remembered what Franki said about today being the worst day of my life. I already knew he was right.
The older man who had been such a god sent through this whole ordeal greeted me at the door with coffee, "just on time," he smiled and took the flowers out of my hand.
"These are beautiful," he spoke up when I didn't.
"It's uh, all I could get," I shrugged embarrassed there wasn't more I could do.
"You run on back and talk to the pastor, and I'll get the last few things arranged, then we'll do a walk through okay?" He squeezed my arm like old men do. I nodded and walked back to the pastor. The same hallway I walked down the other day. It felt bigger today. I wasn't sure that I would make it to his room.
"Mary, good morning, please come on," the pastor met me at the door, "have a seat," he motioned to the seat across from him. This time he was sitting behind his desk. We looked at each other with out speaking for a few long moments. I didn't know why he was silent, but for me, I didn't know what to say to him.
"You look very nice," he spoke casually. I appreciated it. I was a little nervous about getting up infront of everyone. I wasn't sure how many people were coming.
"Thank you, it's my mothers," I felt myself flattening out my dress even though it was already pressed. "Pony wasn't too happy to have to wear Darry's old suit, or a tie at all for that matter." I felt myself relax a little more.
"I can only imagine," he smiled, but not the same smile he had showed me previously. He looked me seriously, he looked like he was watching me think.
"Is everything alright?" I asked following another uncomfortable pause.
"I was about to ask you the same thing," he smiled putting his pen down and crossing his arms.
"I'm not sure how to answer that," I said through a sigh.
"Honestly," he shrugged his shoulders.
"I'm just ready to get his nightmare over as smoothly as possible." I tried not to sound upset or angry, because I wasn't. I wasn't even tired or hungry. There was nothing wrong except for the dread I was feeling in my stomach, and the only way I knew how to explain that was dread.
"That's fair enough. I'm here for you and your family to make this as much of a celebration as possible, may I pray?" He started to lean over his desk. I obviously wasn't going to tell him no. I shook my head yes and he reached for my hands.
"Heavenly Father, we pray asking for comfort and strength for Mary and her family as they prepare to say so long to their parents. Please help them understand that this was only their temporary home and they are now returning to you where they will watch over their children. We ask that you overwhelm Mary and her brothers with love today and the next few weeks as they try to restore order to their lives. In Christ's name we pray, amen." He let go of my hands. I blinked back my tears, I knew if I started crying now it would be a long day.
"Thank you," I said hardly loud enough for him to hear.
He squeezed my shoulder and stood up, "let's go practice one time though before the doors open. I've learned people are always earlier than you'd like them to be." I followed him out of the room and back to the sanctuary. It took looked much bigger than it had in the past.
"Ah there you two are!" The older man greeted us. "We don't have much time, let's jump right in shall we?" He asked me. I nodded and listened the best I could. I followed him with my eyes as he danced around the room pointed and explaining the day to me. I wasn't keeping up, but I wasn't thinking either, I was just standing thoughtless.
"Jared will be the first to speak, as noted on your bulletin, after him we'll open the floor to speak, after everyone is done Mary you'll speak then Pastor Mark will lead us to the graveyard." He paused and looked at me. That was all I had heard from his speech. My eyes were caught on the coffins side by side. I wondered whose was whose. He looked at me with sad eyes.
"Your moms is on the left," he changed his tone completely, and put a hand out on my back.
"Do you want a second?" Pastor Mark asked.
"No," I said after thinking for a quick second.
"As you wish," the older man started talking again, and I went back to following along. It was hard to no notice the pit in my stomach. I physically put my hand on it hoping that it would cease the pain.
The next thing I noticed was the doors of the building slam open, and like in classic sports film a crowd of nicely dressed larger men walked in. It didn't take me but a second to figure out who they were. The Pastor was on it, he walked over to them faster than the older man.
"Gentlemen, welcome," Pastor Mark reached out his hands to the men. When I stood there like a kid in a candy store. "You are all from OSU, teammates of Darry?"
"Yes, sir." They answered in unison. I had to force myself to life because I was about to cry. It was that kind of cry that burned my nose like an itching sneeze.
"Come on in, Darry will be happy you are here. We were just running Mary through the service. Have you all met?" He put his hand on my back and lead me over. Truthfully it was probably good he did, because I felt like my feet were rooted to the floor.
"We have not, thank you all so much for coming, wow, I'm speechless. Which is bad considering I am giving a speech," I forced a laugh, which went better this time because everyone chuckled along as well. "Like Pastor Tom mentioned, Darry will be so glad you're here, it shouldn't be long, I'm sure he's trying to help Soda tie his tie. If you'll excuse me," I pulled away rather quickly. I heard the older man inviting them to get a bulletin and grab a seat. I just went around the corner and leaned my back against the wall. I bent my knees a little, just enough to put my hands on my knees. I was panting like I had just run with Pony. I could feel sweat forming at the top of my head.
"Get it together Myra," I called myself my dad pet name thinking it would calm me down. It meant beauty, but I didn't feel beautiful. I was both flattered and worried that Darry's team came. I worried about how Darry would react when ultimately they would leave with out him. That opened an other whole door I wasn't prepared to deal with just then. Closing my eyes for a minute I tried to not feel. I tried to not feel worried or sad. I tried to become numb. As a minute came and gone I knew I needed to get back out there. I saw the guys walking in. Meghan on Darry's arm, Sandy holding Soda's hand, and Two-bit and Steve were a step ahead with Pony. They all looked so nice, our parents would be real proud. A fire light in me then giving me the power to hold it together, to not be weepy.
I marched over to them surprisingly well for the heels I was wearing. Darry must not have seen his team yet, because his eyes met mine.
"Darry, you have some people here to see you," I moved my arm to the guys sitting down like I was selling him a car on a show or something. I didn't get a chance to listen to Darry's reaction.
"Mary dear, there's a man who insists on talking to you, he says he has something for you," the older man put his hand on my back. I looked over to Pastor Mark with pleading eyes. He nodded at me recognizing my look, but he didn't follow us.
"Who is it?" I asked pointlessly, I knew he didn't know or he would have told me.
"Mary," the man I recognized slightly looked like he was surprised to see me.
"Yes," I stuck out my hand not knowing what else to do.
"Wow, I rehearsed what I was going to say, but now I'm here and I've forgotten the whole damn thing. I can't say damn in a church, shit, oh I did it again!" He babbled, but I didn't understand. I just stood there with my hand out.
"Do you recognize me?" He put his hand on his eyebrow. I looked at him a little closer and realized it momentarily.
"You're the doctor," I connected the dots. He seemed glad I noticed. He took my hand and gave it a weak shake, but he didn't let go.
"Right, I'm the doctor who let your father die." If I wasn't thrown off by this man before I was now. Was he coming here to have me comfort him on not being able to save my dad? As if I didn't have enough going on, I was going to have to make some rich doctor feel good about himself. I turn to look for help.
"I'll let you too talk, I'll finish greeting for you," the older man turned and left, he clearly didn't understand my signals.
"I was told he was pretty much gone before he got to the hospital," I found myself saying. I wasn't sure where the words were coming from.
"Right, that's not what I'm saying," he tried to speak up again.
"You did everything you could right?" I asked, I could feel the hopeful in my voice. If he was going to tell me that he could have saved my father but didn't I wasn't sure what my reaction would be. It would probably be worse than swearing in church.
"Of course I did, it's nothing like that!" He put both his hands on my arms pleadingly. "I knew your parents. We went to the same high school, your dad and I played football together. I had a thing for your mom before your dad swooped in and stole her," he smiled at the memory. I wanted to smile with him, but I didn't want to hear this right now.
"Doctor, I appreciate you coming, but now just isn't a good time," I tried not to be rude as I pulled my arms back from him.
"Of course, I can only imagine what you are thinking right now, I just want you to know that your dad, he saved my life, in more way then one. The system was failing me in and out of fostercare my whole life. I started football so I could hit people. I took many swings at your father, but he never held it against me. As we got close, and I actually treated him like a person he became my best buddy, but then I got moved to a new home. I told your dad I was done, I was done with moving, new school, new family, new friends, and I was done living. But your dad, he wasn't hearing it. He wrote me and called me constantly. Hell, he even showed up at my school time and time again. He pushed me to keep my grades up. He showed me how to give a damn about other people. He's why I went to college, and became a doctor, he's the reason I'm still here today," Doctor looked so heart broken as he spoke. It looked like his brother died. "I want you to know that I'm going to return the favor. I'll doing everything I can to keep you three out of the system. I'll adopt you myself before I let that happen to you. You have my word," he put his hand on my shoulder and I believed him. I felt the tears that had been threatening to roll down my face win. He put his hand on my cheek brushing them away.
"I'm on call I can't stay, but take these flowers, here's my card, I'll be by tomorrow to come see what else I can do." He left me standing there like he left me at the alter. I felt my mind race. I was thankful he didn't hug my because then I would have started to break down. Could he really be the answer to all of our problems?
"You ready Mary, they're waiting on you to start?" Pastor Mark came back in. I had my back turned so he couldn't see me, but any idiot would know I was trying to pull it together. "Who was that?" he asked handing me his handkerchief over my shoulder.
Accepting defeat I turned to face him, "apparently my dad saved his life, and now he's going to save ours," I bent down and picked up a basket of flowers.
"God works in mysterious ways," he bent down and picked up the others. I couldn't disagree to that.
"Should we take these out front?" I asked him.
"Sure," he agreed leading the way. I was amazed at how full the sanctuary was. In fact there were people standing in the back. I didn't have time to think about it, I was scurried off the other room with my family to be marched in as if we were being honored.
"How are we doing?" I whispered even though I knew the answer.
Xxxxxxxx
Walking to our reserved seats in the front of the room was the most embarrassing thing. There were so many people, many of which I didn't recognize. Many people were already crying, and the ones who weren't eyes were on us like glue. I was uncomfortable. Everyone has somebody, Soda had Sandy, Darry had Meghan, and I guess I had Johnny, which I thought was better than having a girlfriend. The way Two-bit talked about girls sometimes, especially when they were on the rag, made me more than okay not to have a girl. I didn't recognize that Mary didn't have anyone right away. She was the farthest away from me. The guys walked down with us, they acted like it was a real honor to be asked, I personally would have preferred to never do this.
"Good morning! My name is Mark from Sunny Valley Baptist Church down the road .On behalf of the Curtis family, I would like to thank all of you for coming out today to show your respect for the passed and support for the living. I'm honored to stand before you to conduct this service. When someone we love dies unexpectedly, there is a tremendous amount of shock .When a father and mother are suddenly no longer with us, it can trigger very strong reactions, emotions, and questions. We are here today as the people of God to find comfort in the truth of Scripture, and especially to surround Darry, Mary, Soda, and Pony with our love, our faith, and our prayers.
I didn't have the privilege of getting to know Mr. and Mrs. Curtis, but I still know they were pretty incredible because of their children. I know some people say that the way you were raised doesn't make you who you are, and I think that is true in many circumstances, especially in places like Tulsa, but for the Curtis' I disagree with that and I can think of four clear cut examples right now. I felt called to them in the hospital, I was visiting a member of my church. I over heard the doctor tell them that their parents had passed on, and the reaction of these four was impeccable. I knew I needed to talk to them more. God heard my prayer and brought Mary to me, and I got to know more about the kind of parents they were. I'm not going to state the obvious that you all already know like Darry being the first to go to college, or Soda being able to diagnose a problem with about any car, or Pony skipping a grade, that's not what shows me how spectacular the parents were. How about Darry putting up a strong front to pull his family through this travesty, Soda smiling when the world has given him a million reasons to frown, and Pony keeping his families memories alive, not to mention writing a beautiful poem about his parents love posted on the bulletin," my ears perked up like a dog when he said that. I hadn't even looked at it, I didn't want to think about it, I knew I would cry. I was tired of looking like a baby. I yanked the paper out of Darry's hand and turned it over. I was so surprised to see it. I never gave it to Mary, how did she get it? I wrote it after I told her I couldn't help me. I started to lean over Darry to talk to Mary, but Darry wouldn't let me. He put his hand on my shoulder. I was so off put by Mary putting my poem in I tuned out the rest of Pastors Mark's sermon as we as Dad's boss and I guess Mary's new boss' speech. My heart was racing. I didn't want people to think I was a wuss. A tough greaser wouldn't write poetry. How did she get it?
"We would not like to open the floor for family or friends to speak, before Mary tells a few words," Mark stood up from the side. What ever dad's boss said had to have been sad because I saw Darry's eyes water. I tried to look around to see if other people were crying, but I was stuck in the middle of Darry on my right Steve on my left. Mary got up and I followed her with my eyes. She wasn't crying she didn't look like she was going to either.
"I haven't done much the last few days other than think about this funeral, because I wanted it to be as meaningful as they were to all of us. I wanted it to be full with love and power. It may seem like we always had our lives together, and that we had it real good, which is true. Our family has been so blessed, but there were times of struggle. There were bills that weren't paid, there were times my parents went without so we wouldn't, and sometimes I wasn't sure how my parents managed to create such a safe environment with what had to be worrying them. I was trying to think of a way to show that, but today I've realized how I didn't make that happen you all did.
Everyone in this room is here because my parents meant something to them. If you don't mind me saying Pastor Mark, that's incredible. Yes, I think the four of us turned out all right, but look at all of the lives my parents touched other than us four. How lucky are we to have been apart of something so huge? I wish they were still here for my own selfish reasons like I miss them and I'm scared, but I know they are together, and that's how they are meant to be. I'm just thankful we had them as long as we did, and they taught us how to take care of each other," Mary smiled and looked over to Mark. Soda used his handkerchief. That's what upset me the most was seeing everyone else upset. It was hard to look at the people you love the most crying.
"All who are able please stand as we make our way to the graveyard," Mark grabbed Mary's hand. He whispered something in her ear. Meghan put his hands on my shoulders and lead me out before I could try to look harder. I kept turning around looking back to see if she was coming.
"How are you doing kiddo?" Soda asked me. His eyes were red his face was wet. He had been crying. I looked at Steve, and Steve had too. Why wasn't I crying? Maybe I had already cried enough.
"Where's Mary?" Meghan asked when everyone piled out of the church into a small graveyard where the caskets were rolled. I felt a pit in my stomach when I looked at the caskets above holes in the ground.
Mark walked in with Mary behind him. He stood across from us behind the caskets and Mary was on the other side. I wondered what she was doing, but no one else seemed to notice. Pastor Mark opened his bible and read, "In John 11:25 Jesus said, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.'" Then He asked, "Do you believe this?" It is the Christian's belief in Christ as the resurrection and the life and its validation or proof by Christ's own resurrection from the grave that is the basis of our encouragement and so comforts our hearts as we face the loss of our loved ones and friends. As we hold Mr. and Mrs. Curtis in our hearts and memories from this day forward, we commit ourselves to carrying them with us always. We honor their memory by the following their teachings: to treat our friends and family members the way that they did...with a caring heart and positive attitude; to move through life with a quick wit, generous laugh, and brilliant smile; and the commitment to holding our hearts open to allow others into our lives with the intention of creating and honoring the family of God." I felt Darry's strong hand press against my shoulders. It's like he knew I was about to fall apart. I held onto him, but I didn't care. Mary was right, we needed each other.
"You are now invited to say your farewells before heading down the road to the Curtis' house for a small receptions," Mark came over to us and shook Darry's hand and ruffled my hair.
"Darry, go out with you football guys, I've got the reception, here are my key's I'll be there in one second," Mary handed the keys to Soda then went and shook hands with some people standing by the coffin.
Xxxx
Merry Christmas, let me know what you think! Was it worth the wait? What do you want to happen next?
