Esme
They sat around the table, Emmett looked genuinely afraid. I stood leaning against the glass wall and Carlisle was pacing back and forth at the head of the table.
"What inspired you to fill her car with blue water?" Carlisle turned to Emmett, his eyes ablaze.
"Do you actually want an answer or was that rhetorical?" Emmett asked quietly, innocently.
He repeated the question.
"I saw it on TV." He replied shamefully, dropping his head.
"So that's not TV for a month."
"Wait, that's just for him, right?" Jasper asked.
"No, all of you."
"Dude!" Jasper said disappointedly towards Emmett.
"Sorry…"
"Emmett, you are cleaning that stain off the garage floor as soon as we are done in here. Then you will proceed to go to every single state on this continent until you find someone who can completely clean Esme's car. If no one can, then you are buying another one. And trust me, either way will be expensive.
"On top of no TV, you have no games either for a month."
"A month?" Emmett whined.
"Don't make it 2." Carlisle said coldly. "Why is it so hard for any of you to behave yourselves? You're either pulling stupid pranks, arguing, or not speaking at all." He looked towards Rosalie and Bella.
"That's not fair." Bella said quietly.
"That's not fair? Do you want to know what Esme was doing all day?"
"Don't." I said. I could see he didn't listen. "Carlisle, do not say a word."
"She was crying all day before trying to jump off a cliff because "It was worth a try". That isn't fair!"
"Carlisle!" I yelled.
"What? They were going to know anyway."
"You're making it sound like it was their fault!"
"Wasn't it?"
"Go."
"What?"
"Go upstairs or out to hunt."
"Why?"
"Because you aren't handling this right! I assumed you would be able to keep yourself together but I guess not. Go, now." I said the last 2 words harsher than I needed, but it all worked the same.
He walked past me and disappeared up the stairs.
I let out a breath that I hadn't realised I was holding in. I sat down at the table with them. They all looked so upset, looking at their hands on the table, their eyes glued to anything but me or each other.
"It was not your fault. It had nothing to do with any of you, okay?"
I looked at them all in turn. Edward already knew, so he was fine to accept that. Bella made eye contact with me, but she was hesitant. The others slowly lifted their heads and looked at me except for Emmett.
"Bella?"
She lifted her head too, and looked awkwardly away from anyone's eyes.
"Emmett?"
"It is my fault, isn't it?"
"No—"
"Don't lie to me." He cut me off.
"No, it wasn't your fault, Emmett. If you look at me, I will explain it to you."
He lifted his head slightly, and his eyes slowly. When he met my eyes, I smiled and winked, "That's my boy."
He snickered in return.
"By the time I hunted my first of many deer, I was completely over the car. It's just a freaking car."
"It was a wedding gift." Rosalie reminded me lightly.
"And what did I say was more important?" I asked her.
"You said that the most important things you got out of your marriage were being tied to Carlisle for eternity, and us." Rosalie rolled her eyes.
"Exactly." I looked briefly at Jasper and Bella who both had small smiles on their faces.
"You hear that Edward? She called me important." Bella smirked at him.
"Low standards…" He joked with a fake snicker.
"Continue, Esme." Jasper changed the subject back to the cliff.
"So when I was over the car, I was jumping between trees and ended up at the cliffs' edge. I sat on a rock for hours on end just staring at the water and that's when memories of my past starting coming back. Did Carlisle tell you guys?" I asked Rosalie, Jasper and Bella. They nodded their heads in sync.
"Okay, so after a really really long time, I decided I had enough, and instead of just coming back here, I chose dying — well, trying to — over you guys. I knew it would never work, but my mind was somewhere else, and I decided it was worth a try…"
"I am so sorry…" Alice said quietly.
"It doesn't mean anything. It has happened before, and it will probably happen again."
"Well that's reassuring…" Emmett said.
"2 weeks." I said.
"You're adding 2 weeks for that!?"
"No, only 2 weeks without TV and games. And just you, not the others."
"Thank you." Jasper said, relief in his voice.
"Dad isn't going to be happy with any of us right now…" Rosalie said.
"He'll get over it. He caught me before I fell off the ledge, so he is just scared and angry with me." I assured.
"He won't be angry at you for that. He went through his own depression a long time ago, and he is never been anything but nice to me for it."
"I don't have depression…" I defended.
Rosalie looked awkwardly at her siblings, who all looked at each other in turn.
"What?"
"Umm…well we think you might…" Alice said.
"No, I don't." I said, my voice stronger this time.
Jasper cleared his throat awkwardly, "See, I can sense it, and although I can manipulate it, I can't very well, because it's inside your mind."
"I don't—"
"Esme." Carlisle cut me off. I jumped, I hadn't seen him standing in the door way and I didn't know how long he had been there. "I'm not certain, but I have a pretty good idea."
"Okay, one person says one more thing about it and they can join Emmett in his punishment." I said.
They all went silent for a while, "Sorry about before…" Carlisle broke it. "And Emmett, don't worry about cleaning or buying a new car, I'll do it."
Emmett went to decline his offer, "Don't argue with him." Rosalie warned.
"Thanks…" Emmett went quiet again, and he was looking down at his hands, hiding his face again.
"So, can we go?" Bella asked.
"Yeah." I said weakly. They all stood up and left. Emmett apologised for the 6th time.
Carlisle walked over slowly and sat down in the chair to the left of the table. I was sitting at the head of it.
I knew he was about to speak, so I cut him off before a word could leave his mouth, "No, Carlisle. I don't want to talk about it."
"Esme—"
"No!" I said more sternly.
"Esme, please. Vampires can't be physically sick, but they can be mentally."
"I know. I used to have depression. It stopped when I found Edward, Emmett and Alice. I am completely fine, Carlisle."
"These things have a way of returning…"
"Are you even authorised to diagnose it?"
"Yes. I am also a qualified counsellor, which is why Rosalie and I disappear sometimes."
I wasn't expecting that answers, so I changed the subject "Hey, what ever happened to high school? I just realised that they never go anymore…"
"How did you just realise that? I took them out. I decided they have been going to school long enough, a few years off won't hurt."
I nodded to show I understood.
"So, I know you don't want to talk about it now, but let me know when you do. And please, please come to me next time you want to kill yourself."
"I didn't want to kill myself; I just wanted the memories to stop. It was stupid, I should have just come home and let Alice and Rosalie pamper me like they are always asking to do. I can promise you, I will never want to kill myself while you are still living."
He leant over the corner of the table and out lips met, moving in harmony with each other.
"I love you." He said quietly.
I put my forehead against his and nuzzled him. "I love you, too. Forever."
"Forever." He repeated before placing another kiss on my lips.
