Roxas
His eyes were glowing blue, like they did whenever he genuinely smiled. He was laughing, but at what Roxas didn't know. It made him happy that he was happy, though. The blonde could feel himself smiling back at the boy, and his lips were moving, but he didn't know what he was saying to the boy sitting opposite him. He couldn't hear himself; he couldn't hear anything. Everything was eerily silent. He could feel that something was wrong.
The boy's brown hair was striking, mesmerising, the one thing that could tell the two twins apart. It seemed to glow unnaturally.
Then Roxas noticed a twinge. Almost like his head slightly cocked to the side every few seconds. It kept going farther and farther, and he tried to reach out to see if his brother was okay. His head was twisting around... this.. isn't right...
But he was frozen to the spot. The boy tried to move, to say or do anything but any attempts were futile. Roxas just watched until he heard, clear and sharp, a bang.
Then he burst. The brunette literally exploded on the spot.
All the blonde could see was thick, crimson blood. Coating everything. His hands were drenched; he was scratching, trying to get it off, but the blood clung to him. Oh god, he was drowning in all the blood. The blood...
Roxas woke up screaming his lungs out, scratching his arms ferociously. They burnt, like they were on fire, and that was what seemed to wake him fully from his nightmare. The screams turned to sobs when he realised where he was, lying in his bed. His familiar, homely bed. He wasn't covered with his brothers blood...
But he was slightly covered in his own.
The insistent scratching he was inflicting on his arms seemed to have reopened the parallel cuts on them, and they were slowly weeping, small trails of blood running down his arms at a steady pace. Some of the scabs were old, and some fairly new, but they were all now one big bloody mess. Just like Roxas was. If Sora knew what Roxas was doing to himself- if Axel knew.. All hell would break loose. That's why nobody could find out, about the pain Roxas was in. Both physically and mentally. They might leave him.. Even though all he really had was Axel to lose, that made it even worse.
The scratching had spread the blood all over his, so when he looked down to study it, all he could see was red, which nearly made him scream again at the thought of the dream. The blood.
It all felt so real.
Faint thuds seemed to be coming from the stairs, making the blonde jump; in a panicked state he grabbed a jumper and pulled it on before his roommate, Axel, came bursting into the bedroom. He was breathing heavily, with a worried look on his face, but it faded to sadness when he registered Roxas' face. He didn't realise he was still crying until the red-head came over and wiped his cheeks, pulling him into a hug. The younger boy frowned, pushing him away lightly. His arms were stinging, and he couldn't risk the chance of Axel seeing blood.
"Dreams again?" He gave him a slight sympathetic smile, kneeling down next to him. Axel's eyes were filled with an emotion that Roxas couldn't even recognise, but he really couldn't give a shit right now. The image of his brothers face was still haunting his mind, making him feel disorientated. The bright blue eyes were still swimming across his vision...
After awhile he just sighed, giving him a clear answer. Roxas never wanted to talk about his dreams, which was understandable. The only dreams he really had was about Sora.. But even if he tried, he couldn't find the words to. He didn't save him.. He could've saved him...
But he didn't.
And every day, the guilt was too much for him to bear.
Putting his hands over his face, he groaned and fell back into the solitude of the bed, which received a chuckle from the redhead.
"Come on, get up and get some breakfast. I've decided we need to do something more productive than lying in bed all day. Well," he sauntered over to the door, pointing a finger at Roxas, "more you actually, as I do work for a living. You don't even see the light of day." The redhead lectured before walking out, leaving the blonde alone with his misery.
x
Half an hour later, a zombie-looking version of Roxas was mentally thinking of some very inappropriate words for Axel as they were standing inside the local supermarket. Axel was chucking various things into the trolley, while Roxas was just.. being himself. Lazy ass Roxas.
Well, who would really have motivation for life when their twin brother was shot right in front of their eyes?
He shook the thought off as easily as it came. No need to make the day any more depressing than it already was. Right now he would rather be in bed, sleeping all his problems away. But a certain person would not let him wither away- something Roxas was slightly glad of.
No matter what happened, Axel would always be there to cheer him up. Countless times he would cry, for hours, and Axel'd just sit with him, doing his best to comfort the boy in his time of need. Thinking back to when they met; he would have never even guessed they would've been roommates three years later.
Roxas looked up from daydreaming on his desk to see a pretty attractive red-head walk over to his table. He must have been new, as Roxas knew he'd never laid eyes on him before.
He could have spaced out and not realised a new guy had joined- people came and went- he couldn't care less. That was what this town was like. Boring Twilight Town.
Well, back to the new guy. He had blazing emerald eyes that seemed to be almost hypnotic, deep and enticing. The black teardrop tattoos under his eyes were interesting... They showed off his high cheekbones, made him look twenty, and not Roxas' age.
He seemed cocky though. Too full of himself. The way he admired the girl's breasts next to them showed he definitely didn't root for the same team Roxas did. Not that he made it obvious, so maybe the new guy didn't either?
'Hey, maybe he's bi.' Roxas pushed the unwanted thought away from his head as soon as it appeared. no. How stupid...
The first thought that came to the blonde's mind then, when they locked eyes, was that he was dangerous..
After three hours of Hell- ahem, English- Axel (that was his name. Definitely suited the mysterious vibe..) decided to tag along with Roxas, be his bestie and, quote, 'know all of his secrets'. He didn't seem to be as dangerous as Roxas initially thought, but he was cocky. No doubt about that.
"So, are you in the closet or out?" Axel smirked. Roxas replied, completely giving it away, with a furious blush and a shake of his head. Axel just laughed again, taking a bite out of his sandwich.
"You don't fool me, Rox. I see the way you watch the football team."
Before he could protest, the redhead cut him off, receiving a scowl.
"Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me. I understand how the judgemental pricks act when they find out" Axel smiled at him, laying down on the benches they were sitting on. Roxas cocked his eyebrow up at the redhead, causing him to laugh again.
"You..?"
"Yes. I play for both teams." He winked, causing Roxas to blush. "I've got nothing to hide, Roxie. I can stand up for myself perfectly." He popped the 'p' at the end. I-It's not like he hid it... But he didn't really show it, either.. Maybe nobody did know, or maybe they didn't care.
"And that also means you can check out my fineeee body and I wont care. I've already seen you doing it, by the way. Its cute."
Roxas blushed, again. Fucking hell, was being friends with Axel going to be this irritating? Where's the 'decline' button?
"You? As if!" He teased, resting his head against the back of the wall. Closing his eyes he basked in the relaxing light of the sun.
"Huh. Hey, the football team are running again. That excite youuu?" Axel teased, as Roxas opened his eyes and lightly hit his shoulder, smiling. Either it was going to be the start of a great friendship, or a very annoying one.
Roxas was snapped, very abruptly, out of his reminiscing by the exact same redhead throwing an apple at his head.
Definitely an annoying one.
"While you were daydreaming about my luscious asssss, I finished all of the shopping. Although, my ass is pretty distracting, isn't it Roxie?" Axel waggled a eyebrow at him, making a slight blush rise to his cheeks. Years later, and he still was blushing like a mad, hormonal girl.
"Fuck you, Axel. Lets just go home." Roxas growled, irritated.
"Oh, someone's pissed off this morning." He frowned, as they went to a till to pay.
He knew he was being 'pissy'.
But...
Out of nowhere, a flash of brown caught his eyes. Well, more like a flash of brown hair..
Just as soon as the person, with unmistakeable brown hair, had stopped and stared, he was gone, but the blue eyes swam in Roxas' vision. The same blue eyes that always tainted his dreams.
It was only just a glimpse, but.. It looked just like..
Sora.
Before he knew it, Roxas was on the floor, gasping for breaths but no air would enter his lungs. He could feel the hot tears running down his face, and was aware of somebody shaking him, trying to calm him down, but he felt disorientated, and very, very, trapped. It didn't take him long to realise he was having a panic attack... Of all the fucking places, it had to happen there.
He'd experienced panic attacks a couple of times since Sora died, normally triggered because he thought he saw his brother. He always realised it was something else, but the second of believing that he was alive, sent him over the edge. The panic was never this bad though...
He must be seeing things.
That couldn't...
But it looked JUST like...
Fucking... no...
"I.. need to get away.." he managed to stutter out, forcing himself to stand up. Roxas was violently shaking, but he didn't care, he just needed some air.
So he ran. Roxas was in his own body, obviously, but he wasn't at the same time. Like his body was moving and his brain was trying to catch up. The tears still ran down his face, and soon after he began sobbing, not caring how loud he was being.
He could hear voices, familiar voices - maybe Axel? He couldn't make out what he was saying.. but they all swam around his ears and transformed into one, clear word.
Sora.
He can't get away from him, his face, the memory, the blood, oh god, the blood, that haunted nearly every dream that Roxas dreamt..
The boy didn't know where he was going, but it was somewhere. Anywhere that he could escape and not feel so goddamn trapped.
Roxas remembered about the twenty pounds stashed at the bottom of his trousers just as he passed a liquor store. If he already felt numb, what's the harm in drinking the pain away?
If the drink could make him forget about the pain for one night, why not?
x
Axel
Roxas downed the rest of the bottle of vodka in his hand, then throwing it in the bush carelessly, before stumbling in the front door of his home. He was greeted by a very pissed off Axel. His face softened when he saw Roxas, however, then it turned to disappointment and regret. He caused Roxas to feel like this.
Sighing, he walked over to Roxas, his nose scrunched up in disgust.
"How much have you drunk, Rox?" the redhead put his hand on the blonde's shoulder, studying his face. Even though he was trashed out of his mind, his eyes was still filled with sadness, which made him step back instinctively. The damaged he did to the boy... The guilt hanging on his shoulders would never face to what Roxas went though, is going through. If he could change what he did, he would do it in a heartbeat. But everyone believed that Sora was dead, and if Roxas found out, he'd never trust him again...
"Hmm.. a bottle." Roxas giggled, almost collapsing as Axel caught him, shaking his head. "Of vodka.. Mmm, you smell nice..." The boy lent into Axel after saying this, taking a rather large smell of the other before sighing happily. Axel just stayed silent, taking a long look at the drunken teen, trying to ignore the close proximity of Roxas to his area.
"Come on. You need to sleep this off Roxas." He snapped, exhaustion and worry pushing him over the edge. He had spent the last five hours searching for the vulnerable kid, after the outburst in the supermarket, to no avail. If he'd have known he was out getting drunk...
"You're cute when you're angry." Roxas pointed his finger at Axel, almost falling over again but hastily gripping a table. "I don't want to sleep, I'm fineeee." He slurred the last word, before being picked up bridal-style by Axel involuntarily.
"Put me down!" He started to bang on Axel's chest with a weak force. "I wanna.. wanna.." The last words came out as a whisper as Roxas started to doze, snuggling into his chest. Axel rolled his eyes, chucking slightly at the stubborn boy in his arms. If he had to be honest, taking care of Roxas was harder than he thought it was going to be. No matter what he did to try and perk the boy up, Roxas just grew more isolated. They hardly talked anymore, which was something that made the redhead feel a pang of loneliness. The supermarket had been the longest he'd seen Roxas in months...
Axel carefully laid Roxas on his bed, trying not to disturb the boy. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping.. Like all the troubles in his life vanished when he slept. Axel found himself gazing at the blonde, admiring everything about him. The innocence and delicateness of his face, The pink tinge to his lips, the natural rosiness to his cheeks, the hair that fell into place perfectly...
The younger boy of the pair opened his eyes again, a strange look hidden in them. He'd obviously noticed Axel staring at him since he smirked mischievously.
"Do you liiike what you seeee?" Roxas teased, throwing the redhead off guard.
Roxas raised up from the bed slowly, swaying a little, and leaned forward to Axel's level, his blue eyes abruptly face to face with Axel's green, making him suck in a breath. Roxas crashed his lips onto the older boy's, causing him to gasp in surprise. After a few seconds, the redhead found himself kissing back out of desire, not bringing himself to stop and think that the boy was drunk. He put his hand lightly onto Roxas' chest, moving so he was laying over him. Roxas' eyes were shut but he was still fiercely kissing Axel, almost sloppily. When Axel managed to break off, panting, he noticed that Roxas had passed out, like nothing had just happened between the two. Pulling a blanket over Roxas, Axel took one last sorrowful glance at Roxas before almost sprinting back to his bedroom and closing the door instantly behind him. He could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks, coursing through his body. Why the fuck did he keep on kissing Roxas?!
Axel collapsed on the bed, putting his head face first into his pillow. When did everything become so complicated? The feelings he had, for Roxas, they were nothing new. That was the thing that kept him going when he was inside 'Hollow Bastion'; his motivation to recover and get out of that shit-hole. Roxas didn't even know he was in there, thought he was on some family trip. See, if Roxas found that out, then it would just lead to questions, then the awful truth would get out. Which could never happen. Axel had risked way too much for that to happen. It didn't help that Sora was out there somewhere, but he trusted Xion to find him. Then.. he'd sort Sora out. Not that he'd decided how yet, but he had a bit of time to decide. Otherwise Roxas would know everything, and it would come from the worst person to tell him. Axel couldn't let that happen- to the boy he'd fallen for ever since they first met, three years before.
Maybe they weren't the same people that they were before- both him and Roxas changed, for the worse really. Not that he was becoming a cold blooded killer, but what he did... It haunts him everyday. Axel became more distant; not because he wanted to, but he was afraid of hurting anyone else. The redhead couldn't bear to hurt Roxas. Or to lose him. But if everything he did ended up hurting him, then.. Was Roxas being with him really for the best?
He thought that asking Roxas to live with him would've been a good idea, as he didn't really have anyone else to go to. He'd been back in Twilight Town six months before he asked, so of course Roxas was a hesitant. The joy of the redhead couldn't be contained when he said yes- but all the joy in the younger boy had vanished. It hurt Axel, so bad, to see Roxas' emotional state disintegrate like it was. He felt so fucking helpless.
Axel fell asleep full of loneliness, the kiss lingering on his lips as he dreamt of death.
Sora
The brunette manoeuvred the streets, being careful not to show anybody his face. The incident that happened with Roxas earlier was something that the boy definitely didn't want to happen again- anybody could recognise him and report that the missing child had been found. He knew the moment that he got shot that he couldn't go to the police if he survived it. That would just mean that Axel would know where he was again. So the prick was still out there, nobody having a clue that he tried to kill him. And this time, Sora was certain that he wouldn't leave him alive if he had the chance. Not with what he knew about the fucking pyromaniac. Poor Roxas didn't know a thing about his precious Axel. His fucking brother didn't know he was living with a murderer, and there was nothing that the brunette could do about it. He cursed under his breath, wishing that asshole would get sent down, and for good.
Suddenly a blur of red crashed into him, making him stagger back. A grin broke out on his face as he realised the 'blur' was in fact Kairi, who had launched herself at him and was now wrapped around his torso, legs and all, hugging him tightly.
"I was so worried! You should've called me, shit-for-brains." The redhead lightly punched his arm, giving him a weak smile. He responded by lightly brushing his lips against hers, making her sigh happily. She looked back at him with sad eyes. "You know how much of a risk it is going back there. Did you.. see him?" Kairi asked hopefully, but noticeably disheartening when she saw the brunettes reaction. He slowly put her down on the ground, leading her into a desolate alley.
"What happened?" Kairi pushed a stray bit of hair from his face, looking into his disheartened blue eyes. They looked back with such despair that made her heart clench.
"I was passing by this window, and I saw him, leaning against a trolley. He looked so... depressed. And so did Axel.. whenever he looked at Roxas, you could just tell." Sora muttered, before shaking his head. "That fucker deserves any guilt and misery he can get." The brunette clenched his fists, making Kairi sigh.
"I know he had no excuse for what he did, but you have no idea what was going through his head when he did it. Not like I'm siding with him.." Kairi trailed off, averting from Sora's gaze, "But... I don't know. If you really believe he is a shitty person, then it's not good Roxas being with Axel..."
"Don't worry. I'll get Roxas. Whatever it takes, I will get my brother back." Sora smiled, feeling a hint of hope. He was he closest he'd been to Roxas in six months... Closer to finally getting him away from him, and back with the only fucking family he had left. At least letting him know he was still alive would calm his nerves.
Sora reverted his gaze back to Kairi, who was staring at him with a hint of sadness in her eyes.
"Hey." He cupped her face in his hands, their noses almost touching. "I know you must not like being on the run with me like this; believe me, I hate it. I just want to get Rox, and get out of here, somewhere sunny with beaches that go for miles, like the ones that you love."
"Sora, when I saw a helpless person dying on the street that day, I didn't think twice to help him. I also didn't leave him when he said that he had to leave the next day; I trusted you from the start. There's a reason I came with you that day. So, being on the run with you, its an adventure, and wherever it leads us- I'll be with you every step of the way." Kairi pulled Sora in for a kiss, connecting their lips together as she stood on her tiptoes. Sora snaked his arms around her waist, bringing her hips closer to his as he pressed her up against the wall. He broke of the kiss, trailing small kisses on her cheek, from her ear and down to her neck, which made Kairi slightly moan in pleasure. She placed one hand onto Sora's shoulder and another onto his chest as he continued to leave a trail of kisses down her neck, sending a few shivers of pleasure down his spine.
"Kairi, if you don't stop writhing under me I may have to take you here and now." Sora growled seductively in her ear, making her knees weak.
"Sora.." Kairi tried to giggle, but it came out as a breathless moan. The brunette then pulled away, leaving Kairi whimpering at the loss of heat on her neck.
"Kairi, I'm not going to fuck you in an alleyway. Not for your first time, okay?" Sora lowered his voice at the second part, to which Kairi just reluctantly agreed. She blushed a little at the thought of it but she knew it was probably for the better. "A-alright, what will... we do about the Roxas situation next then?" She asked after calming her breathing.
"Like I said.. I have a couple ideas." He chuckled before picking her up with desire in his eyes. "But right now, I don't want to think about that asshole. I want to think about you, and the way you just make me forget everything and get lost in you." Sora then spun her around, the laughs of the delighted teen spreading into the peaceful night sky.
