"Why ain't you been over to check on Mary, ain't she your best friend?" Tim nagged me from the kitchen. He was already drinking and it was hardly noon. I rolled my eyes at him he reminded me so much of my father sometimes it disgusted me.

"Tim, mind your own damn business," I hissed at him. He didn't have a clue.

"Hey, what did I tell you about that mouth of yours, I ain't playing," he turned about and faced me.

"Whatever Tim," I got up to leave.

"Where are you going? I'm trying to have a conversation here. Sit down!" He ordered. Tim could be scary when he wanted to be, not to mention how strong he was. He wouldn't hesitate to smack me around either. I sat back down and looked at him knowing I didn't really have much of a choice.

"What do you want from me, Tim?" I gave him sass.

"I want you to show some respect for the Curtis, they treated you like one of their own." Tim looked at me like I was some kind of brat.

"What am I suppose to say Tim, I'm sorry your parents died and the state is trying to ship you away? I'm sorry that we no longer have anything in common, but let's pretend like nothing has happened?" I'd thought an awful lot about Mary, honest I had. I was sad for her, I liked her parents, but there wasn't anything I could say to bring them back. But if she wanted to save her reputation and come back from the Franki situation on top she had to act quick, and she already made it pretty damn clear that she didn't want to.

"You better not say that," he warned me with his serious face. "You owe it to her to be a friend. They went to court today, and I'm sure they need friends, we're going over at 5 so figure out what you need to say."

"When did you get so soft? Greasers die all the time and you don't get all bent out of shape over them!" I tried to hide my fear and fight back. He'd bought it before. I knew better than to let Tim know I was scared of him. When I did he knew he had leverage and would walk all over me.

Tim's face went from his usual stone cold ice to anger in less than a second he grabbed my face and forced me to look at him. I could feel his grip crushing my face. There was no hiding the fear I had at this point.

"They were good people," he said so loudly there was spit on my face. "I can't even look at you get out of my face," he shoved me hard out of the way. I stumbled, but I got out of the way quick enough. Tim had a temper and I wasn't about to face the wrath of that. "And for the love of God put something halfway decent on, don't go over there looking like a whore," Tim added just to have the last say. I didn't even think about yelling anything back. It wouldn't be worth it. So, for once I did what he asked.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I was overwhelmed with what the judge said. I was so excited Soda would stay with his family, I was so happy he was happy. He was smiling ear to ear. He had hugged everyone so many times I had lost count. I could see color back in his face that I hadn't seen in a while. Worry did not look good on him. He was holding my hand so tight my hand had fallen asleep, but I didn't mind.

Apart of me was still worried, and I knew it was selfish. I cared about Soda's family dearly I did, but I loved Soda, and I knew our relationship would never be the same. Already Meghan and Darry had broken up, and they were older than us, if they couldn't handle this what was to say we could? I loved Soda more than I loved anyone, but I'm hardly 16. I wasn't cut out to sit around and play house with his family. I couldn't coddle him and mourn with him forever. We were the cutest couple, we needed to share that with others. We needed to go out and have a good time, and he didn't need to be feeling guilty for his family. He already talked with Max and James about dropping out. He never once mentioned that to me before. I wasn't the kind of girl who dated a drop out. My parents were already hesitant about Soda, even when his parents were still alive. I knew the road ahead of us was rocky, and we hardly even begun.

"Baby, I got to go call Steve, I'll be right back!" Soda skipped off to the pay phones after giving me an other big kiss. Darry had both of his hands on Pony's shoulders firmly. Max shook James' hand. I never noticed that Max and James were brothers, they didn't look alike at all. They looked awkward around each other, like they didn't know whether to hug each other or to shake one an others hands. Mary looked good. She looked relieved but not surprised. She looked calm, but not relaxed. I knew she was more than aware that this was only a small victory. I think Mary and I had a lot in common, more than I had noticed before. I noticed James take her away, he was holding on her arm. I could tell he cared about her, it worried me a little because of her bad break up with Franki, I didn't know if it was a good idea to have an other man being so nice to her, even if he was married and had a child. It's not that I worried about either or them being inappropriate it was more of how needy I knew a person was right after a break up, not to mention two deaths. Mary didn't really have a social life outside of Franki. In the break up she would loose her friends to Franki's side. She didn't do a whole lot other than work and hang out with Franki. She didn't have the gang the way Soda did, she was close to them through association, but they weren't her friends like they were mine, she was really truly alone, and that made me sad for her, but it also made me thankful not to be her. I knew it was awful to think that, but I couldn't help it. I'm 16.

Her and James walked a few feet away from the courthouse, but not far. Mary looked pale, she looked tired. I couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about. I took a few steps closer to get a better view. He had his hand on her shoulder as she pulled off her heels. You could tell she didn't wear heels much, she kept taking them off, like she expected them to be comfortable. They weren't, but you eventually got use to be uncomfortable.

When I looked over to Mary and James, James had Mary in a hug. It looked like she was forcing to get out of the hug from James, it didn't look like she was comfortable. It looked like the kind of hugs you have to give great uncles and aunts so that you don't seem rude. The next thing I knew Mary was throwing up in small patch of grass near the parking lot. James had his hand gently on her back. He steadied her as she pulled back on her shoes it didn't look like they were talking much. That was Mary's main problem, well main problem socially I should say, she was too damn quiet. Quiet people made other people nervous because you never knew what they were thinking. They started to walk back to us neither of them were talking. Mary had been holding on to James' arm, but the closer they got she let go. That got with in ear shot and I heard James loudly whisper to her, "I'm a doctor I could help you, you just have to talk to me." He seemed so concerned about her. He looked like he wanted to help her so badly. I could tell she wanted help, but she didn't know how. Her face softened and her eyes glazed over, I knew for a split second she was thinking about trying to ask for help, but just as quick as she let her guard down she put it back up when everyone walked over to them, including Soda, he more ran over to everyone.
"I called the gang, they were all at our house," Soda smiled clearly touched by the gangs loyalty.

"Of course they were," Darry chuckled still holding onto Pony, like he was afraid to let go. Not that I could blame him. He did come pretty damn close to loosing him.

"Call them back, invite them over 118 West Chester, it's a celebration the more the merrier!" James spoke up causing everyone to quickly look over to him.

"You sure about that?" Darry clarified still smiling.

"Darry, today's the first day of your new family, you need to start it with everyone whose going to be apart of it! Call them back!" James handed Soda some change, and without another word Soda was off again.

Xxxxxxxxxx

I hadn't stopped to take a breath in so long, and now I was able too, but I didn't know how. My mind kept racing forward to what's next. When do the kids go back to school? When will the state come to visit? How was I going to work with those guys? I couldn't turn it off. Apparently neither could Pony.

"What happens now?" He asked. I started to think about how to respond to that.

"We keep on living, it's what they would have wanted," I said knowing Soda was in the bed of the truck with Sandy, I doubted they could hear us. Pony was usually the sensitive one, being 12 and all he was still so young, but lately the only way Soda could prevent himself was crying is if he all together didn't think about Mom and Dad. Mentioning them at all made him choke up.

"Yeah, but how?" Pony basically whispered from the backseat. I could hardly hear him, but I could hear the desperation in his voice.

"One day at a time little buddy," I told him meeting his eyes in the rear view mirror. He looked so scared. I hated that for him. He was too young to worry. "Hey, let me do the worrying okay, kiddo? We're okay."

"Hey Pone, you still got us," Mary looked back at him and smiled warmly. I saw a tear roll down Pony's cheek, I knew he was trying to hide it. Pony was a tough kid, and he hated being the youngest. Mary saw it too, the next thing I knew she climbed through the middle console to get back to Pony. That got a chuckle out of Soda and Sandy in the back. He leaned into her instantly. The judge was right, her heart was in the right place and she really had stepped up to the plate. I thought about how she had a way with words, I wished that I did too. The rest of the ride was pretty quite, Pony looked like he was asleep on Mary. I knew he needed the rest. Hell, we all needed the rest. I tried to get my mind to relax, I tried not to think ahead and to just celebrate today's victory, but I couldn't help it. I needed to get everyone ready to go back to school Monday, but the previous conversation Mary and I had about not pulling the my house my rules card made me nervous on how I would get them to go back to school. I knew if it were up to Soda, he'd never go back. I knew Pony would go back before he was ready. I didn't want to be the bad cop, but I knew the judge was serious when he said they had to keep their grades up and keep out of trouble.

I didn't want to test him too much on that. I didn't want to be in that courtroom again.

Xxxxxxxxx

As we got closer to the house I noticed the yards got bigger, the houses were nicer, and people were actually on the front porches and in the yards. The kids were playing in the road with toys and balls. I kept forgetting James was a doctor, that made his a soc. You wouldn't know by talking to him. He didn't talk to us like we were trash. I guess that was because he didn't grow up a soc. Soda told me he grew up in a boys home.

Lately I caught myself imagining what it would be like in a boys home. I wondered what it would be like. I imagined being in a home with other unwanted boys and I never liked what I came up with. I thought the boys would all be like Dallas, cold and bitter; angry at the world, and unable to express any emotion but bitterness. I felt my eyes getting heavy, I was falling asleep in my own thoughts. I hadn't been sleeping much at night. I would toss and turn for what felt like hours, and when I finally fell asleep I would have these dreams that felt so real, I couldn't wake up out of them, Soda or someone would have to shake me awake, but when I woke up I didn't remember what I had dreamed. When I'd wake up I was disoriented and scared. I was always hot and sweaty the way I'd feel after a long hard run. After a nightmare I'd never really fall asleep, I'd just lay there waiting on morning. I didn't really have nightmares in the daytime. I could fall asleep on the couch with Soda watching T.V, or Darry or Mary reading and I was usually okay.

I felt like I couldn't escape nightmares, at night or in the day. I felt like I was living a nightmare. My parents died, we were having to go to court, everyone was crying or fighting, the food was gross, people kept looking at me weird, no one understood. I hoped Darry was right, by keeping on living we'd start to get a new normal. Maybe both of my nightmares would end. I really was tired. I just wanted to rest. But again, it wasn't what I wanted. Mary shook me awake and told me that we were here.

"Come on kiddo, it'll be fun," Darry smiled at me trying to make me smile. He thought I was stupid, they all thought I was stupid, I could read through every fake smile and every lie they told me.

"The guys should be here soon, and I think I smell burgers," Soda jumped down from the truck opening the hatch to let Sandy down. He picked her up and spun her around she laughed pulling her dress down. "lead the way baby," Soda put his hand on the small of her back.

"Welcome, welcome," James got out of the car smiling like he had just won the lottery. Max wasn't one to smile I hadn't really seen him smile at all. He kind of reminded me of Darry. He was very business minded he didn't really do small talk. "This is my beautiful bride, Sarah," James walked up the porch and kissed her cheek and took the young toddler out of her arms. She sure was pretty. She looked like a cheerleader.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you had a good day in court," she hugged each of us. I hated hugs.

"This is my little angle, Sophie," James was referring to his daughter he was holding.

"Uncle Max!" Sophie called out wiggling to get down from her dad. "You can see who her favorite is," James laughed watching her run off. More like toddle off. I was just waiting her to fall over. Max squatted down to her level and I watched them talking. I never would have guessed that Max was good with kids.

"You have a beautiful home," Mary squeezed Sarah's hand. Sarah reminded me of my mom a lot just then. She seemed soft spoken and kind. She had a relaxed face and kind eye. She seemed glad we were here. Maybe Darry was right, maybe this would be fun after all.

Xxxxxxxx

"You think this guy is going to have beer?" Two-bit asked turning down the radio.

"Well seeing as he's a doctor, I doubt he would give us delinquents any, dip shit" I mumbled at him. I knew I needed to keep my mouth shut because if I opened it there was no stopping what I was bound to say. Right now the gang was all sensitive and vulnerable, I wasn't use to that. I was use to people being tough, so I knew I would say something they couldn't handle so I was just going to keep my mouth shut. Or I was going to try at least. Keeping my mouth shut wasn't something I did well, or often, but I guess I could try. I didn't really have an other option. I wasn't about to fight a cheap fight with everyone, like I did earlier with Steve. That didn't get us anywhere. It's not like I had anything else that mattered to loose, so for their own good, and mine, I needed to try. Believe it or not I knew how to play nice when it benefited me. To many people's surprise I was a model prisoner, many times I'd get out on good behavior, sometimes you gotta know whose ass you have to kiss.

The drive wasn't hardly 15 minutes, but it could have been a different country. We were in the heart of soc territory. I almost wished a soc would give me lip right now because all I needed was a reason to bust some ass.

"These houses are nice," Johnny spoke up for the first time today.

"Yeah, if you're a soc," I light a cancer stick hoping it'd help me keep quiet.

"Come on Jonny, you don't dig this snobby stuff do you?" Two-bit asked but he was kidding. Two-bit was always kidding, although his kidding hadn't been as frequently since the accident. Pansy.

"Looks like this is it, there's Darry's truck," Two-bit slowed down. Shit. They had a kid. I should have known they'd have a kid. I don't like kids. I just don't like them. As we pulled in the drive James and his wife looked at us. They looked like the perfect Soc family. She even had a soc smile. Blah, looking at her made me sick to my stomach. Didn't people see the lies? People couldn't really be that happy. That kind of happiness didn't really exist.

"I hope they feed us, I've worked up quite the appetite," Two-bit sand as he talked. I rolled my eyes.

"Cheating in poker must really be a tough work out," Steve slammed the door to the car.

"Me? Cheat! Oh please, you're just jealous I got all of your smokes," to prove his point Two-bit lit up a smoke in Steve's face. Steve yanked the smoke out of his mouth and broke it in two. I felt a smile in the corner of my eyes.

"You know what you are, a sore loser!" Two-bit pulled out an other smoke right in front of Steve's face, but ran ahead before Steve could grab it.

"You made it!" Soda came down from the steps.

"You think we'd miss out on free food!" Steve grabbed Soda's hand and they pulled each other into a hug. I wouldn't even make a comment about them acting like a couple of girls, it wasn't worth it. I had never had a friendship like Soda and Steve had. I was use to the kids of friends you had because you needed them, because you can't survive alone. I had never had a friend for the sake of having a friend. Sometimes I thought what it would have been like to have been raised by parents that gave a shit, or to have had a friend like Steve from the beginning. How different would my life have been if I would have had the gang from the beginning? What was it going to take for me to appreciate them? Dallas Winston doesn't appreciate anyone.

xxxxxx