Disclaimer: I own nothing One Tree Hill related.
Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews. This chapter is in Peyton's point of view. Hope you like it.
Chapter V: My heart is the worst kind of weapon
New York city
A tall, redhaired man wearing a leather jacket approached a waifer-thin girl as she entered club Poison.
"Hey Peyton, you're looking good. How is my favorite client doing?" He smirked at her.
"Hey Carl I'm fine. I'm gonna be needing a lot tonight. Joey's in town." Peyton put her hands in the pockets of her skinny jeans.
"You're still hanging with that loser? You could do a lot better sweetheart." Carl said.
"We're not together, we just hang when he's in town alright? Anyway like I said, I'm gonna need a lot so you better go get ready." Peyton said in a raspy voice, her voice was nothing like it used to be. She walked over to a sofa and took a seat. She looked around at the familiar faces, drug dealers and drug users. All of them she had partied with at least once. Or so she thought. She couldn't be sure because her memory wasn't all that good anymore. At that moment a thin, dark-haired man entered the club, she was happy to see him although that usually meant at least a three-day party rollercoaster. He walked over to her and sat down next to her.
"Hey Peyton, I've missed you. Those L.A. girls can't party half as hard as you." He said smirking.
"Hey Joey, I've missed you too." Peyton forced a smile.
A few minutes later they were warming up with a couple of lines of cocaine that Joey had brought.
"I can't believe how much you can take now, I remember the first few times we did coke together. You could barely do one line" Joey said laughing.
Peyton looked up at him: "Don't remind me."
Then Peyton drifted off into a world of her own. She started thinking about the summer after high school. The summer she and Brooke had spent together in L.A. It was the best summer of her life, they had so much fun together. She missed Luke though and talked to him on the phone every day. Her internship was awesome and finally everything in her life was good. The only problem was that she was away from the man she loved. Until she found Brooke's letters. A huge stack of letters under Brooke's bed was hidden from her and for a good reason. They were all to Lucas, her boyfriend, and they had all been written that summer. She only read a few but they were enough for her to realize that Brooke was still very much in love with Lucas.
Flashback to four years and three months ago…
Peyton was on the floor reading through some of Brooke's letters to Lucas.
Dear Lucas.
Last night Peyton and I went to a great concert, Jimmy Eat World and Fall Out Boy were playing, I wish you could have been here with us. It was a lot of fun. Remember the Halloween party at Tric last year? Fall Out Boy was playing and I tricked you into wearing that Tommy Lee costume. That was hilarious:) I played a lot of games back then but It was only because I wanted to make sure your feelings for me were real. Like I told you in my last letter, I made a huge mistake letting you go. If only… there are a lot of if only's when it comes to you and me. If only I hadn't let you go where would we be now? If only you hadn't gotten together with Peyton. If only I had the guts to send you these letters. If only you still loved me like I still love you. But you love Peyton now and she loves you and I'm not gonna mess that up for you guys. I'm not gonna tell her or you how I feel, I'm gonna bury it. Bury you so deep inside my heart that hopefully one day I'll forget that you're in there.
Love, your pretty girl.
Tears swelled in Peyton's eyes as she read through the letters. She couldn't believe it, Brooke was still in love with Lucas. How did everything get so messed up?
A minute later the bedroom door was opened. Brooke stepped inside.
"Hey P.Sawyer what are you doing on the floor?" she asked.
Peyton slowly turned around to face her best friend. She saw the fear in Brooke's eyes as she saw the letters on the floor and in Peyton's hands. She managed to stand up and walk a little bit closer to Brooke.
"You still love him?" Peyton asked in a calm, controlled manner. She didn't want to get into a screaming match, at least not right away.
Brooke looked down at the floor for a moment and then looked Peyton in the eye. "Yes." She whispered it so softly that it was barely a sound.
"God Brooke, why? I thought this crap was over!" Peyton raised her voice a little.
"So did I …I didn't want you to find out. I was gonna bury it like you should have done when Lucas and I were together." Brooke regretted those last words the moment they came out.
Peyton was getting angry: "Like I should have done?! I thought we were past that!"
"We are past it okay? You're my best friend and I love you, please lets just forget this." Brooke pleaded.
Peyton turned away and paced the floor for a moment: "No. I can't pretend like I didn't find a bunch of loveletters to my boyfriend hidden under your bed! What about Chase?"
"I care about Chase, I do but I was only with him to escape my feelings for Lucas. I thought that if I just started dating other guys that I would get over him eventually but when he showed me what he had written about me in his book I realized that I would never get over him. That night before we left for L.A. I decided that I would bury it. All of it..mostly because you and I were finally back on track. I'm so sorry." Brooke said.
"I need to clear my head." Peyton said, grabbing her keys and walking out the door. She drove down to the beach and stopped the car. She thought about Lucas and how much he meant to her, she wasn't going to let him go. She wasn't going to lose him, she reached for the radio and turned it on. 'Somebody's crying' by Chris Isaak was playing.
I know somebody and they cry for you.
They lie awake at night and dream of you.
I bet you never even know they do, but somebody's crying.
I know somebody and they called your name.
A million times and still you never came.
They go on loving you just the same, I know that somebody's trying.
She picked up her cell phone and dialed Luke's number.
"Hey babe, what's up?" Lucas said on the other end.
"Hi, what are you doing?" Peyton whimpered. She tried as hard as she could to sound normal.
"I'm with Whitey, we're going over the players' stats. He says hi by the way." Lucas said.
"Tell him hi back..Look Luke can you come to L.A.? I know we planned for you to fly out in a couple of weeks but I need you here now." Peyton said.
"Why? Is something wrong?" He sounded worried.
"No no I just need you here. Please come." She pleaded.
"Okay I'll fly out first thing in the morning. Are you sure everything is okay?" Lucas said.
"We'll talk when you get here. I'll pick you up tomorrow okay?" Peyton said.
"Sure babe. I gotta go now, Whitey is giving me a strange look. Love you." Lucas said.
"Love you too. Bye." Peyton said as she hung up the phone.
"We are going to get all of this out in the open once and for all." She said to herself.
The next morning as Brooke got out of the shower Peyton told her she was leaving for about an hour. She told her to stay there because she wanted to talk when they got back. She didn't want to tell Brooke that Lucas was coming, she was afraid that she might not want to face him.
When Peyton arrived at LAX it was crowded as usual, there was no sign of Luke so she picked up her cell to call himAt the exact same moment Luke materialized from the crowd and walked up to his girlfriend. Peyton was happy to see him but Brooke's feelings were swirling in the back of her head. This is how Brooke must have felt after she told her she loved Lucas a few months ago. She kissed him and took his hand.
"I've missed you" Lucas said as he pulled out of the kiss.
"I've missed you too. More than you know" Peyton said smiling.
"What Brooke hasn't kept you busy?" Lucas said with a small snicker.
Peyton's smile was gone in an instant: "Look let's get back to the apartment, Brooke is there waiting for us. We have a lot to talk about."
"Okay. Lead the way." Lucas said.
The drive back was hard for Peyton, she couldn't help but wonder if Lucas' feelings for Brooke were still in there somewhere. No it wasn't possible. His heart belonged to her now. Or so she hoped
A few minutes later Peyton and Lucas walked into the apartment. Brooke was sitting on her bed, painting her toenails with a gorgeus red polish.
"Hey." Peyton said to her.
Brooke looked up to see her ex-boyfriend standing there along with his current girlfriend, her best friend. "How did everything get so twisted" She thought.
"Hey. Luke what are you doing here?" Brooke said.
Peyton cut in before Lucas could answer: "He's here because we need to talk. All of us."
"You told him?" Brooke asked.
"No, but you're going to tell him. We're gonna get everything out in the open. My feelings. Your feelings and his feelings." Peyton said with an icy stare
"Okay what is going on here? Tell me what?"Lucas said looking at both girls.
Neither one of them said anything. Brooke just kept painting her toenails and Peyton kept staring at her. Luke took of his jacket and sat down in a chair next to Brooke's bed.
"Tell him." Peyton repeated.
Brooke looked up at her. "What's the point? It's not gonna do any good."
"Tell him or I will." Peyton said.
Brooke stopped painting her nails."Fine. Tell him but just remember that I didn't want to."
Lucas couldn't take it anymore. "Tell me what?!" He asked them both.
Peyton turned to Lucas. "I came home from work yesterday and Brooke wasn't here, I dropped an earring on the floor and I couldn't find it so I got down on my hands and knees and looked under everything. Including Brooke's bed, I didn't find the earring but I did find a box with a stack of letters in it addressed to you."
"What?" Lucas was clearly confused.
"Yeah. Love letters! A stack of them! To you!" Peyton repeated.
Brooke had had enough. She got off the bed and was about to walk out when Peyton stepped in front of her.
"You're in my way" she said to Peyton.
"You're not leaving until we've talked this out" Peyton said glaring at Brooke.
"Fine." Brooke said turning to Lucas. "I still love you. I never stopped loving you. I don't want to break up your relationship. I was going to bury this but unfortunately Peyton found my letters to you but I swear they were never meant to be seen. I was never going to send them. I was never going to say anything because it hurt me so much when Peyton told me about her feelings for you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." The last few words came out muffled. Brooke ran out of the apartment. Lucas stood up and was going to go after her but Peyton stopped him.
"Stop! Please don't go after her!" Peyton screamed grabbing a hold of his arm.
"I have to know everything!" Lucas yelled back and tried to shake his arm free.
"No Lucas please stay with me. I'll tell you everything you need to know." Peyton said with tears swelling in her eyes.
"Okay what did she mean by that?" Lucas said.
"By what?" Peyton replied.
"That you hurt her when you told her about your feelings for me. When did you tell her? Before you told me?" Lucas said staring into Peyton's eyes.
"I told her the night before Nathan and Haley's wedding. I had just come back from Savannah and Jake told me that I had said 'I love you Lucas' in my sleep. I thought he was just crazy but that night when I came back and I saw you I realized that I did love you. I love you still. I'll never stop loving you Lucas." She leaned in to kiss him but he pulled back.
"Peyton I can't believe you never told me that! I can't believe Brooke didn't tell me!" Lucas sighed and walked over to a window and looked outside.
Peyton walked up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder."You never asked me. And I thought Brooke would tell you but I guess she wanted to give me a chance to tell you myself. What does this even matter Lucas? It's all in the past."
Lucas turned around and grabbed her upper arms: "But it's not in the past is it? Brooke is still in love with me and I don't know what to do."
"What do you mean you don't know what to do? You don't still have feelings for her do you?" Peyton said to her boyfriend.
Lucas looked down and then into Peyton's eyes: "Of course I still have feelings for her. She's Brooke you know? I thought she was the love of my life and then suddenly it was over and I thought it was my fault for not telling her about our kiss..then it turns out that she knew about your feelings. I've gotta talk to her, I need to know why she ended our relationship." He said heading for the door.
"Lucas wait!" Peyton yelled at him but he didn't stop. He went after Brooke and Peyton was alone...again.
"Peyton! Peyton! Are you okay?!"
Peyton was rudely awakened by someone shouting her name.
"I'm fine. Who is it?" Peyton mumbled.
"It's Joey, open your eyes babe." Joey said.
Peyton opened her eyes. She was still in the club. "I'm sorry Joey, I just completely drifted off."
"It's fine babe, here have another line" he said handing her a rolled up dollar bill.
Peyton eyed the dollar for a second and then took it. "Sure."
