And then my life got sucky, and sucked all the inspiration right out of me. It's slowly getting better now.
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8. A Proposition Or An Order
When Balian took his first steps away from his sickbed without a hand to guide or steady him, he was overjoyed. At long last he would be able to leave this room, see what lay beyond the bare walls of this single room and finally accompany his daughter wherever she wanted to go. It had been weeks now that Kalare send the nurse away when she arrived in the room to take care of her father herself. Too long, Balian realised now, had Kalare been kept from living her own life. She was forced to abandon her childhood to raise her sisters as Balian found himself incapable of staying home for long periods of time after his wife passed. Now he had forced her to leave her home behind, to travel to a place unknown to her and leave her sisters and the life she had created for herself behind, and only in order to care for a man she had barely seen in over a decade. No more. Now that he was once again capable, Balian promised himself he would treat the girl like the princess she was meant to be. Kalare had not known the life of a queen's daughter but if it was not too late, Balian would do what he could to change that.
As he stood by the window, looking out over Kadir's gardens, he heard her light footsteps in the hallway outside his room and smiled as he remembered the days back in France when she was little and would run into her parent's bedchamber early in the morning to wake them.
"Father, are you alright?" Kalare asked as she noticed him standing alone by the window.
"Better than I have been in a long time," Balian answered, turning towards her.
"I had not expected you to be walking unattended so soon," Kalare smiled, as she noticed the colour that had returned to her father's complexion and the sparkle which was the sun's reflection in his eyes. "Yet, I am glad you are finally healing properly."
"As am I child, as am I," Balian sighed as his gaze again wondered outside.
"Should we attempt sunlight as your next therapy?" Kalare grinned as she noticed her father's longing gaze outside. "I can assure, Lord Kadir's gardens are quite lovely at any time of day."
"My daughter, the mind reader," Balian replied. "Perhaps you could tell me what you have observed and learned in your time here, throughout my life I have never met anyone with your talent for observation."
"Let us walk outside and I will tell you all I have learned, though it is far less than you might think, the people here do not carry their thoughts with them, they keep them hidden in a chest only they can open," Kalare answered.
That evening, Balian accompanied Kalare to Kadir's table for the first time since his arrival there. His presence, as he walked before her into the dining hall, reminded Kalare that she had perhaps become too comfortable at Kadir's table. Though she never started conversation, over time she had started to give her opinion on matters whether asked or not and if asked she would voice her opinion in no few words. Her actions had gone against her father's wishes; he had told her that first day to keep to herself and now that he was sitting at the table beside her she would have to do just that.
Lord Kadir welcomed Balian at his table happily, joyful that his months long guest was at last capable of attending at his table. Emir, too, looked pleased to see Kalare's father in a state much improved from the time he found him and his men upon the road. Even in Saladin's eyes, who always remained distant and avoided any if all contact with Kalare, Kalare believed she saw a hint of joy while a brief smile passed over his features when he spotted Balian walking into the hall.
As dinner began, Kalare focussed her eyes on her plate of food while her ears listened to ev ery word spoken at the table. The food, to which she had been unaccustomed at first, was delicious as it had been every evening. The conversation around her begged her to voice her opinion, however Kalare remained silent. Even when her own name was voiced in the conversation did she keep her thoughts to herself, though it took concentration and focus.
Balian spoke of the hour Kalare had taken him outside as if it had given him strength, while the gardens had reminded him of the lands he once owned himself, Ibelin. "However," Balian continued, "I must thank prince Emir most of all, for bringing to me the best cure of all with more speed than could have been imagined." Suddenly, Kalare felt many eyes resting upon her, though from the corner of her eye she could see her father was looking at prince Emir, while conversation around the table halted.
Kalare turned to face her father, shocked that he would bring up their going against his wishes in front of everyone. "Father–," she started softly before another voice overpowered her own.
"My lord Balian," prince Emir offered as he attempted to apologize. "Though there was every intention to travel across land, we were–," prince Emir continued before Balian interrupted him.
"Do not worry yourself, prince Emir, for I know well the obstacle you faced and which force changed your path. It is a force I nor any other man has ever been able to withstand," Balian smiled as he observed the awkward glance prince Emir gave his daughter."Do not be ashamed of your strength my daughter, you are I fear first and foremost your mothers' daughter and that is a high quality in my eyes." Balian's eyes moved towards the kings, as they both remembered Sybilla well. The king silently inclined his head in agreement with Balian. However, his daughter's cheeks had reddened from this display of attention. Silently, and with her head bowed towards the table, Kalare reached for her wine cup. Though the drink soothed her throat and let her swallow away some of her embarrassment, she was no longer capable of sitting quietly and comfortably at Lord Kadir's table.
While conversation had once again picked up around the table, Kalare rose from her seat. If one more burst of attention would allow her to leave the room, she would gladly take it.
"If you will excuse me, my Lords, father, I had promised Nafeeza I would read to her tonight," Kalare spoke calmly as she invented a lie to let her leave the room without attracting too much attention. Some of the men at the table completely ignored her, others nodded their goodbyes, yet Balian smiled at his daughter. He recognised the lie as one Kalare had once used at home in France to escape awkward meetings with her father's visitors. As Kalare made her way out of the dining hall, she walked towards Nafeeza's rooms. The promise might not have been made, the intent was still there.
Back in the dining hall Balian had found himself a mission. He had been wondering about this for several weeks now and the kings' lengthened stay at Kadir's house had made him only more curious. Kalare had not been able to learn anything about the king's intentions as they had had very little interaction. Yet it appeared soon enough that Balian would not have to undertake any action to quell his thirst for knowledge. A nod from Saladin to Kadir started a chain reaction. It was followed by nods from Kadir to his sons, who quietly left the table. Further nods from Saladin to his advisors nearly emptied the room.
"I shall assume that the leave taking of the younger generation and your counsellors is somehow related to my presence this evening," Balian proffered.
"There were no intentions, yet when opportunity arrives it must be seized upon," Saladin replied. "As you will remember when we first spoke in this house I informed you that I had a specific reason for residing here. Yet I would not share my burden with you while you were recovering. Some time has passed and you have healed. I am now of the opinion that it is necessary to inform you of the reason of my continued stay."
"I am aging quickly and must choose an heir for my empire," Saladin continued. "My own sons are not of the required character to lead an empire, thus I have been observing my multitude of nephews."
"You have decided upon lord Emir," Balian inferred. "He will do well."
"I do believe he is of the proper character," Saladin agreed. "Yet there are other matters to consider. My empire has been at war for centuries. I now see an opportunity which may bring peace. This opportunity demands you share my burden."
"You speak of peace between Muslims and Christians?" Balian questioned, unsure where the sultan was taking this line of thinking. "Such an opportunity must indeed be explored."
"I am glad we are of the same mind," Saladin replied. "I believe such peace might be established through a union between two families, the family of the last Christian ruler of Jerusalem and the future ruler of Jerusalem."
"You suggest marriage between lord Emir and my eldest daughter," Balian interpreted. The idea was beyond anything Balian had expected from the sultan. The idea was beyond anything Balian had expected from anyone.
"I do," Saladin replied. "To unite our houses and believes within the rulers of Jerusalem is the only way we might end this war and unite the people of God."
"Or create further discontent amongst both sides. Though our believes have the same roots, there are many disagreements," Balian countered. "I fear it is very unlikely the Pope will agree to such a union, and is more likely to completely condemn my family."
"I fear it has been sometime since your family was in favour with the papacy, yet you continue to carry favour with many Christians," Saladin replied.
As the two men conferred, lord Kadir, their only remaining table, companion listened with rapture. Saladin had informed him earlier in the day that he has chosen Emir as his heir; he had however not been informed of Emir's future wife. Though Kadir would not speak a word against his king, he was unsure of the likelihood of success of this plan. Thus he was increasingly relieved that Balian did not immediately succumb to Saladin's wishes and waited with baited breath for the outcome of this conversation.
"Your arguments are well thought out, though I suppose you have given great thought to the matter for the past months," Balian said. "There is however a matter which I am sure you have not considered nor will you approve off it."
"Enlighten me if you will lord Balian," Saladin replied.
"There is no doubt that you, sultan, remember the husband who was chosen for my wife, Guy de Lusignan, and the misery he brought to my wife and many other Christians," Balian answered. "Once Sybilla became my wife she swore me to a promise which might interfere with your plans. She demanded that any children of ours, male or female, would choose their own consort."
"That is unusual and unexpected," Saladin answered calmly. "As I know you to be an honourable man, I assume you intend to keep your promise to your late wife."
"I do, hence it appears you are presenting your offer of uniting our families to the wrong person."
"I must disagree with you there, for I doubt your daughter would marry against your wishes," Saladin argued. "Furthermore, it is completely improper for me to present this offer to your daughter. You, however, are able to make you daughter consider this offer. Your approval will, no doubt, be vital to the success of this idea."
"Your words are true, yet this arrangement would create a further problem. For I am certain lord Emir would be unsatisfied with the notion that his future wife has a choice where, I assume, he has none," Balian countered.
"My son will do as his king asks," lord Kadir replied stiffly.
"I have no doubt of that," Balian noted calmly. "My concern is not for the immediate future. In a more distant future this arrangement may undo its very intent. For, how can this arrangement bring two conflicting parties together when those who ought to represent the two sides do not enter the arrangement on equal footing?"
"I might be inclined to interpret your arguments to mean that you are against the match," Saladin replied, avoiding Balian's question.
"You would be misinterpreting my words if you did," Balian answered. "I only mean to caution against seeing this arrangement as a definitive solution. I will present your offer to my daughter as I believe we must work to make a better world. For, if it lives only for a while, it still has lived."
"Your words are received with gratitude," Saladin responded. "And your caution is heard. Perhaps it would be best to first give our attention to bringing together to young people from very different backgrounds."
