Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I am still thinking about it and trying to write. I've just hit like the biggest case of writers block of my entire life. I hope you all enjoy it regardless of the long wait... Please enjoy!
Chapter 13
"Look, what do you want me to say?" I snapped as I sat across from my so called guidance counsellor.
It was my second week here and he had constantly asked questions about my living situation and why I refused to talk about my father when he asked about the man. Each time I said nothing, just giving the man a glare for asking.
I don't know why today had been different; why my patience for being here had suddenly worn out. It might have been that I was sick and tired of constantly being asked to talk about my poor excuse for a father. Or it could have been the fact that I was tired of people treating my life like some kind of show for them.
'Damn it,' I inwardly hissed to myself, my jaw and hands clenching.
No… somehow I knew that it had to do with this morning's events that I was having a hard time controlling myself. When I had woken up Sesshoumaru had already gotten out of bed. It wasn't unusual for him to wake up first but more often than not he would lay there until I had woken up as well. I could hear him in the kitchen, talking to someone on the phone. His voice was hard and it had sounded angry which was a side of him that I had never really seen. As I got closer I could hear that he was talking about a woman and immediately I had felt somewhat angry. It was irrational I knew, but I couldn't hit it away.
That was what sat inside of me now and I couldn't keep it bottled up. Someone was going to take this anger, and it was going to be the poor bastard sitting across from me; watching me with some amusement.
"What is it that you want to hear exactly?" I growled angrily, "That I'm unhappy with the choices I've made? That I'm mad about having to live with my aunt and uncle?"
My brows narrowed as Hiten didn't move to ask me anything. He merely watched me intently.
"I'm grateful to my aunt and uncle for taking me in, for looking after me when no one else would," I said as my gaze hardened, "They took the time to set me straight instead of just handing me off like my piece of shit father did."
It was all going to come out now. All the anger and hate that I had been holding onto for so long was spilling through the dam. There was no use trying to stop it now.
"So you resent your father?" Hiten questioned, scribbling something down for notes.
I let out a bitter laugh at the question. 'Resent' wasn't the right word for it. The proper word was 'hate'.
"I had to watch my mother die right in front of my and where was my supposed father? Not beside me, not at home, he was across the country enjoying himself and didn't bother coming home sooner," I told him, my voice filled with venom, "And then he can't handle my attitude for him so he passed me on to someone else, like a hand-me-down toy that he was tired of."
I was so frustrated that my whole body was shaking, my hands were clenched tightly on my lap.
"He sits there and pretends that none of it had to do with him and that I'm not worth his time and patience," I continued, my eyes looking away from the man across from me.
I hated feeling this angry. It was a feeling of the past; of when I used to go looking for trouble. It always ended with blood and broken bones and the feeling would always remain. It had never gone away after which only ever made me feel worse.
"Is that the only thing making you angry?" the man asked with what sounded like interest.
"Everything pisses me off," I hissed, turning a glare back onto him, "Especially you and all those people in the hallway constantly talking and asking about things that are none of your god damn business."
I had to unclench my fists and I could feel the nerves in my arms shaking from the strain before I clenched them up again. This wasn't good… I needed to calm down before I did something that I would regret…
"None of you know me or the things that I've done. I've lived my life the way I've chosen to and life will punish me when I deserve it," I continued, feeling the muscles in my shoulders tighten, "I don't need people murmuring behind my back, calling me things like a 'whore' or a 'lost cause', or that I'm 'not worth the time'. I don't need to hear that from any of you!"
My voice had escalated to a shout and if Hiten had noticed it happen, he didn't react to it. He didn't interrupt or stop my anger. He just sat there scribbling into his notebook.
My throat had started to burn and I tried to force myself to even out my breathing. It wasn't working and I couldn't calm myself down. Pushing myself out of the chair and grabbing my bag I turned to leave the room. If I didn't leave then I knew that I would have started to break down and I didn't to have this man of all people seeing it happen.
"I already know that I'm a waste of time," I said lowly, slamming the door behind me.
I stormed down the school hallway until I was outside and could feel the cold afternoon air on my face.
'It's not enough… I can't calm down…'
My heart was pounding and my hands held tightly to the straps of my backpack on my shoulders.
All that anger and hatred had brought with it other feelings of the past. The feelings of being useless and not being worth the time… they had also been buried away.
"That girl can only please you for so long!"
Rin's words came back to me as I started to make my way back to Sesshoumaru's estate. Was it true? Was that really the case?
'Is it possible that he's tired of me being around? Would he prefer someone else?' I wondered, letting the tears I had been fighting fall down my cheeks.
I couldn't go home, not like this. I was still angry and frustrated and I couldn't bring that all back with me. I turned in another direction and decided to walk around for a bit. Maybe something would be able to take these rising feelings away.
He sat on the couch and waited for Kuae to return from school. The day had been long and tiring and it hadn't started out the greatest. As soon as he woke in the morning he had received a call from Jaken, telling him that his mother's relatives were getting restless. They had wanted him to hurry and pick one of the women that they had lined up for him and he persistently refused. Jaken had proceeded to tell him that they had already decided that if he did not choose then they would be choosing for him. Apparently they already had a woman in mind.
He knew that Kuae had heard him ordering Jaken on the phone and had heard him speak of another woman. By the time he had the chance to greet her, it had already been time for her to go to school and she hadn't been in the best of moods. She told him that she would be late but that had been all he had heard. It was now nearly dark and she had yet to come home or contact him.
His golden orbs stared ahead onto the television, trying to distract himself as they kept glancing to toward the clock. Where the hell was she? It was more than a few hours after school finished, surely she couldn't have had such late plans… His brows pushed together with some concern as he rose from the couch to get the phone.
Perhaps she is with Hanaki,' he thought as he dialed her number.
The phone rang a few times before the young girl's voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Hanaki, do you know where Kuae might be?" he asked with a raised brow.
"Oh Sesshoumaru, I thought it might have been Ku… Wait, she's not home yet?" the girl asked with some confusion.
He felt his heart almost tighten in his chest at the tone in the girl's voice.
"Was she with you?" he questioned, turning to look out the front window.
"No, she said she had some stuff to do after school and that she would talk to me later," she replied lowly as if thinking about something, "Are you two fighting or something?"
His jaw tightened at the question. Were they fighting? Was Kuae actually mad at him about the phone call? He had never told her about his mother's relatives and their intentions…
"No, that is not the case," he stated, his brows pushing together with concern, "If she were upset, do you know where she might go?"
Silence fell between them for a few moments before he heard the sound of the girl pondering something.
"The old Ku would go out looking for a fight of some kind," Hanaki stated before a small laugh escaped her, "But that was a long time ago. She's probably sitting in a nearby park thinking."
Panic almost filled him instantly. The only thing that he could think of was the time that he had found her passed out on his door step.
"Thank you for your input Hanaki. My apologies for the disturbance," he quickly ended the call before heading out the door.
As he climbed into the car all he could think about was what she was doing and wondering if she would really go looking for a fight. Why would she willingly put herself back into the state she had been in not too long ago?
'Damn it,' he inwardly hissed, 'I'm getting her a cell phone.'
He started to drive around town, looking for any nearby parks he could think of. By the time he arrived at one, his panic had turned into frustration. What had she been thinking in not coming home or telling anyone where she was going?
Getting out of the car he stormed through the park, his golden orbs searching in every direction until they landed on a familiar figure. There she was, sitting on the monkey bars of a children's playground. She looked like she was deep in thought and he watched as she growled to herself before hanging effortlessly upside down.
Her back was to him as he approached and it startled her when his footsteps came closer. She visibly jumped before righting herself to be standing on the ground. They stood there in silence; him watching her intently and her avoiding his gaze as if she had somehow embarrassed herself.
"What are you doing out here?" he snapped at her, making her flinch, "If you are not coming home then you must tell me."
Her brows pushed together with an expression he didn't understand. She finally looked at him and he could see the signs that she had been crying, which almost made his gaze soften.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, her gaze once again falling away from him, "I couldn't come home…"
His own brows furrowed with her words. What did she mean by that?
"Explain," he told her, not moving to comfort her.
If she had a good enough reason then he would easily forgive her. At the moment he was too frustrated to just let it pass over easily. There was never anything to keep her from coming home. If he could he would keep her there always. She was his and he would give her up to no one.
"I was mad… and frustrated and I didn't want to come home to you like that," Kuae explained lowly, her hand rubbing her arm, "I wanted to greet you with a smile…"
Almost instantly he watched as her eyes once again filled with tears and he immediately puller her to him. He held her small frame to him tightly and buried his nose at her neck; taking in her scent.
"Why are you crying Kuae?" he questioned, nuzzling his nose against her, "What has you frustrated?"
He felt her hands wraps around him and hold tightly to his shirt.
"Everything does," she murmured into his shoulder, "Why do people have to look at us and think it's wrong?"
Wrapping an arm around her lower back, he lifted his head to rest his chin on top of hers.
"Why can't people just mind their own god damn business?" she asked with frustration; her fingers gripping tighter to his shirt.
"The world is not a simple place," he told her, stroking her back.
"No shit," she muttered almost bitterly.
Pulling away from the girl in his arms he took hold of her face to make her look at him. Her eyes were red and swollen with tears and her eyebrows were pushed together in frustration. A frown was pulling down on her lips and he could tell that she was trying to stop herself from crying. Even with her making such a face, he thought that she was attractive.
"Kuae the world may not agree with out pairing, but that is something that I don't care about," he told her, his golden orbs staring into her deep green ones, "You are mine and so long as you are okay with this fact then nothing else matters."
"I just want to be enough for you," she whispered, trying to turn her head from his hands; to hide away from him, "I don't want you to get bored of me."
Taking hold of her wrist he dragged her back to the car in the parking lot. Behind him he could hear her cries of protest and even felt her pull against his grip. How could she doubt his feelings for her? How could she not see what she was worth?
"S-Sesshoumaru!" she stammered as he pressed her up against the side of the car, his hands trapping her on either side.
"Did I not just say that you were mine?" he asked her lowly, his tone having a dangerous underlining, "Do you doubt that I feel for you?"
"No I don't!" she told him; her gaze intense as she stared back up at him, "I'm only eighteen Sesshoumaru and I know nothing about other people. I've messed up so many times in my life… I'm scared that it will happen here too…"
"Your age does not matter," he stated simply, his hand snaking to the back of her head and fingers tangling into her hair, "There is nothing you could do to force me away from you. I am here to keep you from falling; to keep you safe. You are mine Kuae."
As she opened her mouth to argue with him, he caught her lips with his and he kissed her deeply. He wouldn't leave room for argument or doubt in her mind. He would make sure that she would understand his feelings. He would not let her go.
I could feel Sesshoumaru's passion as his hand gripped at my hair and his tongue was easily dominating mine. He was trying to pull me closer but there was no more space left between us. My body was firmly pressed against his and my backside was against the side of the car. There was nowhere for me to go and my heart was pounding in my chest. Nothing else mattered in that moment; nothing else existed. There was no more doubt or anger. No more self-pity or frustration. All I could feel was him and his heat.
A whimper almost escaped me as our lips parted and he opened the car door.
"We're going home," he stated; his golden orbs like molten fire as they stared at me.
I did as I was told and slid into my seat as he went around to do the same. Silence fell between us as he drove out of the park and back out onto the road. My face was heated and my heart pounding. It only started to beat faster when he reached over to me and took my hand in his. The warmth of his hand spread into my cool skin.
I had been sitting in that park for hours trying to work myself through the anger. All of it had sprouted from my father and had only spread from there, which had only frustrated me more. It had been a couple years since I had started living with my aunt and uncle, one would think that it was time to move on from it.
'I guess that it's not one of those things that is so easy to move on from,' I thought to myself as I turned my gaze to the window.
Sesshoumaru's hand squeezed mine which drew my attention to him. My heart felt like it had stopped beating as our eyes met and I could see the intensity of his gaze.
He made me feel like he was a predator and I was his prey. We held gazes until the car started moving again, as did my heart.
"It's not fair," I murmured, not looking away from him as his eyes turned back to the road.
"What isn't?" he wondered with a quirked brow.
"You have such a penetrating gaze that I feel like you can see everything I'm thinking..."
He let out a small chuckle, such a rare noise coming from him.
"I assure you Kuae that I have a hard time distinguishing your thoughts," he said lowly, his golden orbs casting a glance in my direction.
The car pulled into the driveway and by the time I had the chance to take off my seat belt, Sesshoumaru was pulling me out of the car. He carried me into the house, taking his shoes off in the process and pulling mine off my feet by hand. My heart was once again racing as he made his way to the bedroom and I was unceremoniously tossed onto the bed.
Sesshoumaru was over me in seconds; his long silver hair hanging around us like a curtain. His hands were under my shirt, touching every inch of me, sending goosebumps up my spine. Our gaze met and his golden orbs stared back at me, almost glowing in the night filling the room. He continued to watch me as he slowly made his way down my body, kissing and nipping as he went.
His hands roughly pulled down my skirt from my school uniform and tossed it onto the floor carelessly. I squealed as he did the same with my underwear before he placed his hands on each thigh; parting them. Our gazes still locked, he crawled down my body until I felt his hot breath between my legs. Then his tongue was licking at my clit and my eyes closed as my hips squirmed against him. His tongue was relentless; licking, pushing, penetrating... My mind was blank and all I could feel was him and his heat.
A moan tore past my lips as he inserted a finger within me and my walls tried to grasp onto it. Sesshoumaru placed a forearm on my hips to stop their squirming. I could hear him making sounds of appreciation as he began moving his finger within me. His tongue continued it's assault; his mouth never leaving my clit. My hips continued to squirm even with his arm holding me down. I could feel my end coming soon and I wanted it. I wanted him.
"Sesshoumaru," I moaned, my tone almost pleading.
"You will take everything I have to give you Kuae," he told me; his tone heated and rough, "You will take all this pleasure and commit it to your memory that you are mine; that I will not let anyone else have you."
I opened my mouth to retort only to gasp as I felt him insert another finger. His thrusting pace increased as he placed his powerful tongue onto the sensitive bundle of nerves. My legs were shaking uncontrollably and the pressure of his arm holding down my hips increased. I was thoroughly pinned and could do nothing but grab onto his silver locks and hold onto him tightly.
My walls were about to burst and I was hanging on the edge, about to fall.
"Please!" I begged; my fingers gripping his hair tighter.
I could almost feel the smirk on his face as he granted my plea and threw me over the edge. Within moments his fingers were withdrawn and I was positioned on my hands and knees. There was no time to come down from my high before I could feel the head of his member at my entrance.
He positioned himself at her opening before roughly grabbing her hips and thrusting himself into her. He heard her loud gasp at his penetration and let out a small hiss as her tight walls engulfed him. He was fully within her but he pulled her toward him by her hips; trying to get closer.
Not once had he ever been rough with her. He knew that it could possibly scare her away; that he could quite possibly hurt her. In the past there had always been control on himself, everything he did within the parameter of trying to teach her the pleasure they could share...But this time was different. She had doubted him; thought of the possibility that he might not want her. Right now he would show her what she did to him; how she made him – a calm and controlled being – lose himself. He would prove to her how much he needed her.
He pulled back, only leaving the tip of him still inside before thrusting forward and pulling her back to meet him. Her walls fluttered around his member as he continued the movement; gaining pace. She was letting out small gasps and moans of pleasure and he could see her hands holding onto the sheets tightly. His golden orbs admired her as he continued to bury himself within her fully. In this state he felt his attraction for her rise. Never him his life had he felt like this and he could not deny that to him, this girl was beautiful. And she was his and only his.
Thrusting forward, he held her hips in place with on hand before reaching her shoulder with the other, pulling her up to him. When her back reached his chest he snaked his lower hand fully around around her waist. His other hand grabbed her shin and made her turn her head to look back at him.
Her cheeks were flushed and a deep shade of red and her deep green orbs were hazed over with passion. He could see that she was trying to hide her embarrassment from him as their gazes locked.
"You're so beautiful Kuae," he murmured lowly, pulling her head closer to his.
He captured her lips with his as he resumed his movements within her with shallower withdrawals. Her walls were slowly starting to tighten around him as if they were trying to pull him in deeper. He could tell that she was going to reach her end soon and he wanted to meet her.
Giving her a few more deep thrusts, he withdrew and manipulated her to be on her back. She opened her mouth to protest but he once again claimed her mouth before thrusting back within her tight sheath. He let out a hiss of pleasure at her surrounding heat; she felt so good. His pace became quick and deep as he broke their kiss. Leaving a trail of nips and kisses, he made his way to the base of her neck.
"I want to hear you Kuae," he told her, his voice rough, "I want to hear you when you cum."
He began thrusting deeper as he adjusted the angle of her hips and his mouth latched onto her throat. The affects were immediate. Her walls tightened on him and her moans became louder.
He bit her neck a little rougher and he felt her come undone around him. She gasped loudly; her fingers trying to grab onto the flesh of his back as he continued moving within her.
" Sesshoumaru," she gasped as he didn't relent, "I-I don't think I can again-"
He cut her off by thrusting roughly, feeling as her inner walls took him fully.
"You will accept all the pleasure I give you," he repeated, continuing his movements, "You will relinquish your doubts and see all of me."
Her walls fluttered around him again and she cried out her pleasure. It was all her could take; her body demanding his end as well.
His arms snaked around her lower back and held her tightly to him as he thrust one final time and he began pouring himself into her. He hissed in pleasure as she panted tiredly beneath him. Leaning back, he kissed her lips softly before rolling onto his side and taking her with him.
"Sesshoumaru?" her tired voice wondered.
"Hn?"
"I love you," she murmured before he felt her fall into sleep.
He nuzzled her head while holding her against him protectively.
"And I you."
Hiten typed on his keyboard as he stared at the screen of his computer; a smirk present on his lips. To him it had been a successful day. It had taken nearly two weeks but he had finally got a reaction from the girl called Kuae. The way her anger had lashed out had satisfied him.
He had been hired by a second party to play the part of a school guidance counsellor and get close to the teenager. While it being an actual job from the high school he did have other students that he had to talk to throughout the day; to guide down the proper path. But his employer outside of the school grounds wanted him to get close to this girl in particular; to learn and get as much information out of her as possible.
At first he doubted that it would even be a difficult task. Females in high school, all they wanted to do was constantly talk in a never ending cycle in chatter. He thought that it would be easy to get her to complain about her issues in life and how much of a hassle everything actually was. Hiten had been surprised the first time that she had sat across from him at his desk and blatantly glared her hatred and annoyance at him.
It had been the same almost every day that she had been to his office; she sat there glaring daggers and didn't answer any of his questions other than telling him off now and then before storming out of his office. He had to admit that he enjoyed it; enjoyed the challenge and the chase of his prey. Today she finally snapped and had let him witness her fire. He hadn't been disappointed.
Within the next couple of weeks he predicted that he would have her telling him about her relationship with the teacher, Sesshoumaru Taisho. His employer wanted him to separate her from him permanently, the employer being a relative of the teacher's family. They apparently didn't want to have him stain the Taisho name like his half brother by taking in a high school girl.
When Hiten could get Kuae to talk about Sesshoumaru to him, that was when he would plant his seeds of doubt in her. He would make her doubt her position, her relationship, and her misplaced trust in the teacher. He smirked to himself at the thought. Surely her reactions would not disappoint him. All he had to do was wait patiently and he would would be able to make his move...
End of Chapter
