Weeks passed and the former LITs now worked on their own. With the exception of Jenkins, they managed to avoid seeing each other in the Library. They hadn't seen Flynn nor Baird either, which was a bit troubling to Cassandra, but the romantic in her liked that they at least were together. Finding romance all over the world no doubt. Then her heart would sink as she thought of the man that she loved who quite obviously didn't return her affections.
Although she wasn't completely sure he'd have kissed her quite like that if she really meant so little to him. It was that shred of hope that maybe Jacob was just overwhelmed and scared that she clung to. It helped her get through the day and sleep at night.
She managed to use the busy at work excuse to dodge invitations from Cathy, knowing that she likely was going to invite Jacob just like she had for months. She didn't want to completely lose her friend, so when Cathy said that Tim was taking their son out for the evening, she did say yes to a girl's night out.
"Did something happen between you and Jacob?" Cathy asked her as they settled in at the bar.
Cassandra tried to look confused. "No, why?"
"He's been dodging my invitations to come to dinner and he doesn't mention you when he picks up Max. In fact, Max hardly mentions you anymore."
Cassandra frowned but it was for the best. Cathy kept talking, not noticing her friend's face. "Did you break up? I mean, it would be good to know. Tim and I don't want to take sides, especially with the boys being such good friends."
"Break up?" Cassandra did look perplexed. "We'd have to have been dating to break up, Cathy."
"What? Oh!" Cathy blushed. "I'm so sorry, we just thought . . . ."
Cassandra shrugged. "We're just friends, we've just not been able to see much of each other lately. We used to work together but now . . ."she bit her lip trying to decide how to word this. "We've been put on solo projects. So we hardly see each other anymore. That's all. Just busy."
"Gosh, so is he seeing someone then? Is that why he's been dodging me? Though he's actually out with Tim and the kids tonight, so maybe it's just being busy."
Cassandra shrugged. Maybe Stone was seeing someone else. She was sure Cathy would have mentioned if Josie was actually in town. She had a feeling Stone was dodging Cathy for the same reasons she was. But he'd made it clear that what they had was over. And she had no rights in his life any longer, not that she ever really did. So she changed the subject and Cathy luckily didn't bring it back around. Which was good because she was able to enjoy her evening and not think too much about Jacob.
Sometimes she'd still pick up her phone when she saw or heard something on her missions or even in her daily life. Things that she would have told Jacob or shared with Max. Then she remembered and put the phone away.
All in all, it was probably better this had happened. She'd meant to distance herself from the Stones anyway. It was best for everyone. Even though it broke her heart. Better now than later.
Weeks passed. Jacob spent time with his son and wrote when he wasn't busy with cases. He did fine on them though quite honestly he missed the others. Cassandra especially, but he missed Baird and even Jones from time to time. They all worked together like a well oiled machine. Half the time he felt like he was missing a bit of a mission, like the clippings book only sent him to solve a section of a puzzle. Other times he was a bit bored, feeling like the book had purposely avoided danger. Every once in a while, he could have really used one of the others and their areas of expertise.
He found he was lonely. There was no one to go out for a beer with after a successful case. No one to bounce ideas off of. No one to trade clever quips or jokes with. And it got worse when he went home. Max was wonderful but after he went to bed, he felt the keen absence of his best friend. There was no Cassandra there more nights than she wasn't. No one to watch a movie with or play a board game or talk about everything or nothing with.
Sarah was seeing her guy quite a bit and he always felt like a third wheel, so aside from a coffee now and then, he hardly saw her.
Cathy kept calling and inviting him to dinner. He knew she'd be inviting Cassandra as well, she always had. So he made excuses. But he didn't want to completely alienate Tim and Cathy, he liked them and their sons were best friends. So when Tim called him and asked him if he wanted to head out to the suburbs to check out a minor league baseball game with the kids, Jacob said yes.
"We haven't seen much of you lately," Tim said when Jacob returned with the beer he'd gone to get. The boys were engrossed in the antics of the team mascot.
"Been real busy," he took a sip of his beer. "Between Max and work, things have been crazy. Plus I took him back to visit his mama in Oklahoma so there was the travelin'."
"And things are okay with Cassandra? Look man, I don't want to pry. But if you and Cassandra broke up, you know Cathy and I don't want to take sides."
Jacob was lucky he'd swallowed his beer. Were his feelings for the redhead that obvious? First Sarah, now Tim. "Cassandra ain't my girl, she never was." And he really really hoped his friend couldn't see what a punch in the gut admitting that out loud was.
"Really? Okay, I guess we got that wrong."
"We're just friends. We worked together but . . ."Jacob took a sip of his beer to get his story straight. "There was some reorg and now we're on separate projects. I hardly ever see her any more, honestly. She's just real busy and so am I."
Tim looked at him for a long moment and Jacob was pretty sure the other man could see right through him. But all Tim did was nod and turned his attention back toward his young son who was dangerously close to losing his hot dog.
Stone could make reasonable excuses as to why Cassandra wasn't around anymore to his friends, to Max's sitters and even to himself after a fashion. But the one person who was starting to not buy his stories was Max.
A month and a half had passed since Peru. Only so many baseball outings and time spent with James and trips to the park could keep him distracted.
Tonight Max had been asking for Cassandra more than normal. A new teacher at the preschool had red hair and for some reason that had increased Max's desire to see his friend. All afternoon and through dinner, no matter what Stone tried, Max wasn't happy. He cried, he ate dinner, but just barely. Jacob was near tears himself, not quite sure if it was from frustration or something else. Max had never been this bad before and Jacob really wished Josie were there. After dinner, the meltdown started up again and Jacob made a critical error by attempting to use the ice cream place as a bribe. The same ice cream place that they'd gone so many times with Cassandra. That just blew up into a full blown screaming tantrum.
"No! I want Andra! Wanna see Andra!"
"I told you, Max. She's busy."
"You're lyin', Daddy! Stop it! I want ANDRA!" And then Max stood up, looking years older, glaring at his father, eyes that a younger Jacob had seen staring back at him in a mirror after a fight with his own father. Jacob didn't stop him when the boy ran into his bedroom and slammed the door.
Jacob just stood after Max left, rubbing at the tears that were falling from his own eyes. Why did I ever think I could do this? Failing again at parenting, just like he'd failed Max's mother. He shouldn't have lied to Max about Cassandra. He should have either told him the truth (or at least a version that a four year old would understand) or figured out a way for Cassandra to stay in touch with the boy. It wasn't that hard, Josie talked to Max at least once a week, more now that she'd figured out how to use Skype. He could have set something up like that with Cassandra, maybe getting Cathy's help so they could limit their own contact. He could have done a lot of things. But he hadn't. And now his son was paying for his mistakes.
He took a deep breath and stood outside his son's door. Max was crying and every sob broke his heart. He put his hand on the door handle and then turned away. There was only one thing to do. The only thing that was going to comfort Max was Cassandra. And he was going to have to get over his own stubbornness and do what was best for his son. He wasn't going to fail the boy again.
He hoped she wasn't on a case and he dialed her number instead of sending a text.
"Jacob?" Her voice sounded wary.
"Hey," Stone sighed. "Are you in Portland?"
"Yeah."
He winced. This was so unlike Cassandra to be so short with him. But he'd done this to her.
"It's Max."
Suddenly Cassandra's tone changed. "Is he okay? Is he hurt?"
"He's not hurt. But he's havin' a tantrum. He's askin' for ya and he's sobbin' and I can't calm him down. And I didn't mean to do this to him. It's all on me and I . . . ."
"That's not important right now. I'll be right there."
She was there in under 15 minutes. There was a bit of a long awkward stare when he opened the door but Cassandra went right to business.
"How is he?"
"Still cryin'. Not as loud as he was before. I told him you were comin' but he doesn't believe me right now."
She nodded and headed back to Max's room without another word. He followed her slowly and she didn't knock, just headed inside.
"I heard you were having a bad night," she said softly to Max who was curled up on his bed, his bear clutched in his hands, whimpering softly.
"Andra?" Suddenly the world was sunny again for his son and Jacob turned away from the door and let Cassandra spend some time with Max.
A couple of hours later, Cassandra emerged from the back. Jacob put down the journal he'd been attempting to read.
"I got him put to bed, he should be okay," she said softly. "I'll just be going."
"Cassandra . . . ."
"What?"
"I just . . ."Jacob shuffled his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just think you and Max should spend some time together. If that's okay."
She nodded. "I'd like that. I've missed him and well, it's apparent he's missed me. I'm not on a case, so how about I pick him up from preschool tomorrow and take him out like I used to?"
"Yeah, he'll like that. I'll let them know you're coming when I drop him off in the morning."
"Good," Cassandra nodded. Then she headed toward the door without another word.
"Cassandra?"
"Yeah?"
"Uh, thank you. Drive safe."
Was that a hint of an eye roll? But all Cassandra said was "you're welcome" as she headed out the door.
Well, that wasn't awkward at all. A whole lot like the early days sharing custody during his and Josie's separation. By the time the divorce was final things had been cordial but those early days . . . . Well, it was going to be awkward as hell but he loved his son and he couldn't bear to hear him cry like that. Never had been able to, never really would.
He and Cassandra would just have to work out some way of her spending more time with Max while limiting their own contact. It was for the best all around. Cassandra had been nothing but warm about Max, but almost icy toward him. Which was all his own doing and what he'd wanted after all. So why did it hurt so damn much?
