Chapter Eleven
Echoes in the Rain
A true warrior never gives up without a fight...
You may have lost one battle, but there is always more to come...
In the very near future, you will try again to regain what was taken from you...
Martok's words would never leave my subconscious. He was a true fighter who was doing his best to get me back into the fight again. I wanted so much to believe him, but it was so difficult. I was pregnant, I got washed out of the initiation, and I was on leave of absence because of Curzon. I wanted to go back to Starfleet, maybe find someone to take care of my baby while I ran my career in the direction it should go - or I could leave it with Worf, but he didn't seem to be like the type to raise a baby. Sirella could not give the child the love it needed, either. I might as well condemn it to a life of no love, and then it would grow up hating me...
Wait, I couldn't do that. I grew up with a strict mother who then left me and my sister, so there was no way I could do that to this one. I could not leave it with anyone else. It wouldn't be easy, but I could make it work somehow as I went to wherever I would be stationed. It wasn't ideal for a child, but what choice was there? A stranger raising it was out of the question.
Sirella's cruel words were back with full fury.
Klingons do not accept outsiders...
You're a failure, Jadzia, and you always will be...
At best, an object of pity who could never match up to greater authority...
She called me an alien, an outsider - an unequal. She said I was feeble, lacking, and all things pitiful you could call anyone -
WAIT.
I was letting her get to me. I let her manipulate me until I had no idea how to think or feel. Why did I let her get away with it? She was polluted, self-destructive, arrogant and fiery - and I hated her for the way she treated me. I wanted to pick up a bat'leth and challenge her, with or without receiving her respect in return. Who cared if I killed her in the fight? It might be no less than she deserved - but the penalty would be far more severe.
I was in my room, away from everyone and just reading the account of the battle of Qam-Chee - ever a classic favorite and epic romantic - and enjoying my alone time. I didn't know what my future held now, but I knew that I had to make the best of it from now on. Right now, I wanted to relax after a long, horrid day.
Unfortunately, my solace was intruded upon. "Come in!" I called impatiently, putting the book down; Klingons were traditional in the sense of keeping great books rather than modern PADD form. The door opened, and it was none other than - "Oh, Worf, it's you."
"That's the first I hear in a while," he stated as he looked me from the head down, comfortable in my chair and refreshed from a sonic shower, and my raven hair covering my ears. "I meant no disrespect. I only wanted to see if you were faring any better." His eyes fell to the book in my lap, saying nothing.
I adverted my eyes down to the page I was on, when Kahless was just hiding out with the lady and prepared to attack. "I wish I was any better."
"I'm sorry about what transpired between you and...Curzon." Saying it was hard for him as he knew how much it affected me, and to even hear that man's name was worse. A pause followed, and the only sound we heard was the rain outside the windows. Very soon, night would fall black as a bird to represent what I endured today. "I wish I could offer more than an apology. What's been done has been done."
I said nothing, continued to look at him, suddenly impatient and wishing he could get to the real reason he was here. "Jadzia, I know how much becoming joined meant to you, so I am here for you since you have nothing else left," he went on, kneeling in front of me. "You and I are both going to be...parents." He sounded like he struggled around the word, as much as I did. "I confess I am not good with children."
Hearing that come from him suddenly made me laugh in spite of myself. He scowled at me, and I pulled it together. "I did gather that, Worf."
"But it won't stop me," he swore, suddenly reaching and taking my hand into his. "I've saved the lives of Klingons and others alike, and I have stood in battle against enemies twice my size. If I can do these things, then I can be as good a father as I can be unlike my own." His fingers closed around my hand and held it there, solemnly vowing to hold his word there - and he was making it to me. "And Jadzia, there is one thing I want to ask of you that has been long enough, is too much for you to answer and I know it."
I already knew what it was even before now. "I have to marry you," I answered. It didn't scare me anymore, but it didn't mean it was anything exciting for me. What choice did I have in this matter? We conceived a child out of wedlock, so this wasn't an option.
"Yes."
"Then the answer is yes on my part," I said breathlessly, looking into his eyes and feeling myself melt under them. The amber irises were filled with something that was beyond care - it was love. And for that, I decided now was the time to stop running from it and face it. "Worf, I love you, and I will marry you."
~o~
Traditionally, when a Klingon offered to court his mate, primarily in the Mekro'vak region of this world, he would offer her the leg of the wild lingta and promise to provide her with whatever she desired. Such was not the case with Worf and I, even though he confessed he did consider for a moment.
I could not believe the manner in which he proposed marriage to me, which I had answered yes in spite of myself. I still doubted it was an idea to fancy, but we had no choice, for the sake of our child. When I returned to Starfleet, I would have no trouble bringing my new husband with me and the baby, and he had to be accepted amongst the medical staff of where I would go.
Preparations began as immediately as the next day, and would take as long as two months - but by then, I would be showing how pregnant I was. I feared how I would look in my wedding dress. Worf was the one planning everything, but Sirella had a say in the matter, as well. I was allowed to be a part of it - but it seemed my opinion mattered less in the eyes of my somewhat mother-in-law. I could never call her that, even though Martok accepted Worf as a member of his house if not officially.
Traditionally, the bride would see the final result of her dress days before the wedding, having only to pick out aspects of what she wanted. The colors generally were red and gold, rather than the plain traditional white as other cultures. I found it very bold and daring, to be precise. I could see myself looking flaming in the eyes of the Klingons who would be present at the First City Hall where the services would take place...
...but that also meant I would be pregnant at the time. Everyone would see me and probably roar in outrage. A pregnant Trill would not be attractive in their eyes.
Worf did an excellent job picking out this ring I now wore around my finger: a perfectly sculpted ruby of liquid lava bursting around with white, mesmerizing on gold. It was something you would find anywhere, but it evoked fiery Klingon passion...
I don't regret admitting I did love him. I'd never once said it aloud because I was too scared, and this was my first time, but it was also new to him. We would make this work, somehow.
"Perhaps if there is a way we can convince your family to visit Qo'noS, so to have them involved in the wedding," Worf suggested one day when he found me in the gardens, and I was picking up a few flowers to just bring in to give our surroundings more color. Specifically, these vivid yellow wildflowers resembling Earth's Queen Anne's lace that had no specific name; yellow represented joy and happiness. Bringing flowers in was a habit I had not done in a while but didn't abandon. He was hunched over me, watching as I organized it into a bouquet after pairing it with some white daisies and green pompom-like florals.
My oxygen stopped for a moment before it began to flow freely again when he brought my family up. I had not spoken to them in a few months now. A part of me agreed with him, because my father, uncle and my sister especially would be very important in all of this - but I was worried about their reactions once they discovered I was also pregnant and getting married to a Klingon. My father wasn't exactly friendly about them, but my uncle would wise-crack friendly conversation with one if he could - and Ziranne might be scared out of her wits. I was torn between saying yes and no to Worf's suggestion.
"Jadzia?" he questioned, seeing my distant expression. "You're not close to them?"
"My sister notably," I answered. "She's like my best friend, but I haven't seen them in months. My father might not take well to me marrying a Klingon and carrying his child."
"I see." He was unaffected by the idea, given he could handle my father's criticism, but at the same time, he really wanted to please my family. Sirella "tolerated" me, but mine could be another story. But my father loved me enough that he might change his mind...
We both looked up when the sky darkened. Qo'noS had a love of storms at this time of year especially to keep everything as green as it could get. The sun was obscured, turning into an obvious golden circle like an eclipse. A few drops began to pelt us both. I burst out giggling as I followed him through the shaded trees until we arrived at the back of the Martok house, in time for the shower to become a heavy sheen of silver. But Ferenginar had worse rainstorms than this.
"I could never go to Ferenginar," Worf stated, shaking his mane of the drops lingering. "The Ferengi are obnoxious and intolerable, care only about profit and treat their women like lesser bases."
"Naked and submissive," I agreed, bringing the flowers in my hand to my nose once more to inhale. "I could be like that at night on occasion -" I batted my lashes at him. "- but not as a living."
He sneered, but turned his eyes from me when he did the deed. "I would not presume to consider a woman any lesser than I am," he declared. "Klingon women are partners in battle, mothers of our children - and our equals." He looked back at me with a twitching smile to one corner of his mouth.
A pain tightened at the end of my back, causing me to wince. It was minor to occur in the early stages of pregnancy for Trills. Worf noticed and led me off to his room. I was finally allowed to come in, but I could not probe through his possessions at all when he was looking or not. He had a way to relieve the ache in my back; I might as well fall asleep from it. While he searched amongst his collection for the ointment, I stripped down and laid on my stomach. It wasn't anything sexual, but who knew afterwards. My spots would sear me anyways.
I moaned when the smell of the lotion as well as the feel of the potion on my skin roused me. I turned my face to my left and rested on my arms as his hands roamed over my back, specifically where my spine ended. Exotic herbs and nuts calmed me and moistened my pores. My nerves flared and reached every sensitive point, even my spots. He was working his magic wonderfully; my back was no longer hurting in what felt like half an hour later.
"Oh, Worf." I felt like he was done with my back and backside - the latter which did the final trick - and rolled onto my back so he had a full view of my body, stretching out languidly before his eyes. He growled when he looked me over. I was doing this on purpose; even his eyes told me so.
"Are you sure?" He was asking because I was pregnant, and he didn't want to hurt our baby other than me. I nodded that I was sure, and he got to work on running the potion over my breasts, spots and everywhere else...and then we went at it like crazed voles in spite of ourselves.
~o~
I was feeling worse than I was when Curzon left me to rot, so a part of me wanted to crawl away and die just like that. I was nauseated to my core, and I loathed it. No matter how much time went on, no matter what happened, I would always be a scared little child.
But when my sister's face greeted me instead of our father's, I almost broke down and cried with joy. "Hello, little sister."
"Jadzia, it's been so long!" She started to tear up herself. "I've missed you so much. You owe me an entire story to tell," she said, becoming serious. "How is the training with Curzon coming along?"
My insides turned soft yet again before they tightened with sickness. When I told her everything from beginning to end, I was amazed at how I didn't even cry as I did inside. "I should have become suitable for Dax," I wept to Ziranne, who shook her head and tsked. "This is my fault."
She scoffed. "Don't you dare look down on yourself, 'Zia! You know you worked hard for this, so you deserved it! The old fool dropped you because you found happiness while he went off elsewhere. But Father..." Now she was as afraid as I was. "...he won't be happy when he learns about this," she said, biting her lower lip. I sighed and agreed with her.
"But do you think you can make it to the wedding?"
"You really love him, right, sister?"
"More than I ever thought I would. I don't know how it happened, but it did. It was like something was taken from me, but I was given something in return," I explained. "Even if Father won't be happy for me, I'm happy to have Worf and the baby."
She grinned at me then. "Then how can I refuse coming to my sister's big day?"
Doing the wedding planning and the likes is much harder than it was on the show, so I'm really nervous how this and the next chapter will come out in the end. The wedding and the relationship between Worf and Jadzia can't be messed up in any way for all of you.
Mekro'vak is also the land of the Lady Grilka from season 4, whose husband Quark killed accidentally in his bar and married for convenience to save her property and be placed as head of her own House. And the presentation of lingta leg is also part of said Klingon courtship in "Looking for par'Mach in All the Wrong Places".
(Update: 08/22/20): Jadzia's ring from Worf has been changed to match the one he gave her as a gift in the first chapter of "Wedding Nights", a past DS9 fic. Altered for my own reasons. :3
