Everyone, I am so sorry for keeping you all waiting. It was difficult to try and expand what I had planned as well since before I began the story, so I hope it comes out well and I pray this chapter was worth the wait. I'd been tackling a few of my first shorts for a cartoon Disney show I grew up with as a child, "Kim Possible".
Chapter Thirteen
Someone Said Goodbye
"Worf?" I finally found my voice as I looked at my husband with the cooing child still in my arms. He turned his back to us then, as if ashamed and unsure of what to do. Whatever it was, he had let yet another secret of his spill out - and I was sure that our lives were going to become that much harder than before.
I repeated his name again. "Worf, why is there nothing of you in him?" I demanded, keeping my voice even in case I upset our son. I felt K'Ehleyr take him from me as I kept my eyes locked on his back. I watched as his shoulders rolled forward and then backward and back again as he exhaled.
"I'm sorry it had to come to this, Jadzia," was all he said, and just like that, he abandoned me and our baby. My heart shattered to pieces. I did not know what was going on, but this time with our child born, I knew now was the time. I looked up at my friend.
"K'Ehleyr, what is going on?" I asked. If there was no Klingon in the baby, then what was it?
More importantly: Worf could not truly be Klingon. Not completely.
I do not know why I never pieced it together before, but even the most genius brains could miss anything important even if the clues were before your own two eyes. I'd put up with Worf's secrets long enough, and I deserved to know everything. I also deserved to know what he really was if he wasn't -
"Jadzia," K'Ehleyr spoke softly as if reading my thoughts which might as well be written all over my face, rocking the baby gently, "you deserve to know now that your son is half Trill and half...human."
My stomach flip-flopped then and there.
"H-h-human?" I repeated, frozen in every part of my body, cold outwardly and burning inside.
Now my brain clicked, just like that: Worf - my Worf - was human. Surgically altered; that had to be it. Why didn't I ever think of it before?! I should have known...should have known...
"He's a beautiful little young targ, isn't he?" General Martok joked as he made his appearance, walking into the room and taking the baby from K'Ehleyr, roaring with proud laughter as he bounced my son up and down. "Yeah, strong and handsome like his father - and as wondrous as his mother," he added, winking at me, but I couldn't smile at him. I knew he had been in on this, but I could not blame him until I heard his part of this enormous lie that had been kept from me; I was not sure that I could accept if any apologies were made, any explanations.
"Martok, is this true?"
His jovial mood shifted immediately, and he looked at me with an unreadable expression for a moment before walking over to me, sitting beside me on the bed and handing me my child, whom I willingly took and held protectively. He grunted against my breast and reached for it; I adjusted him as I pulled the front of my gown down to place him there to suckle. The sensation was beloved and comforting enough.
Martok watched us for a moment, interested and respectable, before nodding and answering me. "Yes, it is true. Your Worf, the man I have cherished as part of my own family, isn't what he appears to be on the outside. On the inside, he is his mother...and his father."
"He's really a human," I stated. "Why would you all keep this from me all this time?" I hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but the time was up. Everything was coming to the blue, as the Terrans would say it. He lowered his head briefly before looking at me and telling me the whole story, save for a couple details that I decided could wait for now - but the entirety of the tale sent me spiraling downwards that I demanded my husband and father of my child be brought to me at once.
Or rather, I wanted to be taken to him in this state and show him that despite having only given birth to his child, I wanted to help him with the reason he had been surgically altered from his true self to the man he was on the outside.
~o~
He was far from pleased to see me. I had no idea who he was anymore if his name was not Worf, because Martok had mysteriously said that he would tell me on his own time. I was supposed to be resting, but I did not care.
"Jadzia, you should go back to bed -" he started, but I struck him across the face because of my anger.
"To hell with bed!" I screamed at him in spite of myself. "I AM TIRED OF THE SECRETS AND LIES!"
He growled and rubbed his face, his eyes on fire. "Jadzia Idaris, the doctor's orders," he warned, on the verge of lashing back, but held himself together as I continued to let it out at him. I had given birth to his son, but I was not going to relax because now was better than any longer than it had been. I stalked past him to sit on the sofa, noticing now that the pictures of his human "friends" were gone; it clicked then that he hid them because of the discovery of our baby's splice of our species'.
"Martok told me everything," I said coldly, looking up at him as he turned and followed me. Crossing my legs and folding my arms across my chest, I lifted my chin at him. "Told me what you really were."
"I suppose he said who I really was, too," Worf stated, strangely and surprisingly calm that it infuriated me.
"Not at all. He said you'd tell me yourself, but that can wait for another time. You are here in hiding because a vengeful Klingon former politician is after you due to what happened between you both - and your family, three years ago. But that is not all; I want you to tell me this yourself."
His teeth bared as he clenched his jaw. "Duras - you should know. I should not have to tell you if you already know, Jadzia," he said dismissively.
I was tempted to jump to my feet because of his ever attempts to avoid me trying to get him to tell me. "Forget what I already know, Worf," I snarled. "This is about you telling me the truth - the whole truth. It's about damned time, too! And don't you dare dance around anything, or I will indeed pack my bags and take our son with me."
Worf was definitely mad that I had dared to threaten to take our child from him, but I never intended to do such a thing. I was expecting him to say a good comeback, but he didn't. He was absorbed in his own mind as he tried to think of how to tell me about Duras, son of Ja'rod, who was notorious for treacherous acts to get what he wanted.
"His heart is not Klingon," Worf said after a long moment. "He might have been a member of the Empire, but his family had a long history of treason. For example, his father was implicated almost four years ago in a scheme to betray the Khitomer colony to the Romulan Empire, therefore Duras himself fought to prevent himself from being named the son of a traitor to the Klingon Empire. Martok's family - my mother being a distant cousin of it - have long been enemies of the Duras family, but then Duras turned his attention to my family when Martok dared to challenge him, since we all knew the truth about Ja'rod. My father was killed, and my mother would have been if I had not intervened, but I myself was injured in the process. Duras saw me as the bigger threat now, but he could not kill me as of yet. He swore he would find me someday soon, and I would never see it coming. Both my parents agreed with the general that I should be the one to protect them all and hide - at the cost of my entire being."
I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience with this story that I'd heard first from Martok and now my beloved in front of me. Worf had been made into this to protect himself and his mother. He'd told me he was not close to his parents; I don't know if he half-lied to me or completely, but now I understood - and I also understood that out there was a dishonorable Klingon to take care of. I now got why I was here, too, besides being with Worf and being the mother of his child:
I was destined to help him slay an enemy in honorable combat. Duras, son of Ja'rod, deserved what he would get for his treachery. He hunted Worf with no such luck, but my love was not living alive and safe as long as he was here.
"Now you know why I was forced to restrain who I really am," he continued, kneeling in front of me. "I have to not let anyone see that I am human. I had no Klingon father, no title and land - nothing to be like General Martok, and that is why Lady Sirella spurns me. Because I am what you now know."
His head bowed once more, refusing to show me his face. "But if you saw my real face, then you won't know me anymore," he said regretfully. "I won't be the man you have gotten to know. I was lost until you helped me back - but I don't deserve you anymore."
I gasped in pure shock. How could he SAY such things?! I loved him since I met him, put up with his mystery and his attitude, and everything in between. Today, I bore his son, and now I found out he was really a human; the story and truth behind it was more dangerous than I would have expected, but as I had no idea what the face of the real man was - or even his name - I did wonder if I would accept that face apart from the one in front of me.
Why was I thinking this way? No matter what he looked like, he would always be the Worf I first met.
"That is most certainly not true," I said heatedly, taking his face into my hands. "Worf, no matter who or what you are, you're always going to be the same man I fell in love with and married. I am not leaving you, and I won't let Duras get away with this. I want to help you take him down."
~o~
When change comes, things start to feel a little colder because it was a form of saying good-bye and you never knew why. But such was half yes and half not the case with me and my new family.
I felt like crying inside when Worf finally opened up to me, trusted me with his biggest secret that I should have felt betrayed by. We had one thing in common, and that was we were both here in hiding for certain reasons, albeit different. I had been dropped by a man I thought of as a mentor just because I fell in love with a strange Klingon man - who actually was not - and said man had been changed surgically, pretending to be something he was a portion of in blood and therefore miserable because of a great burden placed on his shoulders.
I had meant it when I told Worf I wanted to help him fight Duras, and he'd been reluctant to do this. Martok was torn between us, because he did believe in facing an opponent in an honorable, personal combat for what he did to this family. I wanted to be there when the time came.
Now I was laying in bed in my own room. Despite being married, we still had separate rooms, but I had an extra area configured to be a nursery for our newborn son. He would have everything he needed and more in the future should we decide to come back to this other place we grew to call home.
I lay resting and staring at the ceiling, wishing sleep would claim me but couldn't. The baby was in the other room, and K'Ehleyr would gladly help with nursing him as I needed a few more days' recovering. This time, I would not get out of bed for whatever reasons other than to relieve myself. Sirella had come to see me following the birth, cold as ever...and then broke into a warm smile I never expected. Word had gotten back to her ears following my discovery of the man behind the one I knew as Worf.
"Does it make you...love him any less now that you know what really lies behind that face you've grown to know?" I'd shaken my head then, not knowing where she was going at first, if this was another trick to get me down... "You're very fortunate, Jadzia. You have heard these words from my husband, but I shall say so anyway: no one is accorded the luxury to choose whom they fall in love with. I refuse to lay in my husband's bed as often as he would like, but life is hollow without him. He is a fine man and warrior - and so is Worf, even if he is his mother's son."
I had sighed, too tired to put up with her. "Would you get to the point?"
She'd lifted her chin. "I am not here to challenge you. I am merely stating that Worf may not be blood to me, nor would I accept him as an equal - but he is still family, and I cannot dispose of him as I could never of you." She'd turned her head in the direction to where my son lay sleeping in his makeshift crib, striding over and looking over him, a small smile tugging the corner of her mouth facing me. "He's a remarkable little one, I shall praise. He's strong, like his mother."
She was telling me that she had been wrong to spurn me, too, even though we would always be different, and I had won the battle of the in-laws. I felt utterly proud of myself as Worf had reasons to be for himself. This was the first real time I was truly grateful for Lady Sirella.
Sirella left me alone then to go to sleep, and when I did, darkness claimed me...but the voice of Kahless the Unforgettable greeted me at once.
You have done well thus far, Jadzia.
I married Worf, bore his son and found out the truth about him, I replied, but what is next? The fight against Duras the Traitor's Son is really the worst to come?
Indeed, it is. Your task is nearly complete - but this end of the journey marks the beginning of another to come. Right now, as soon as you recover, you have to help change him back to the man he really is. To reveal his true face will help him in this battle. He may not be true Klingon, but he has the heart of a warrior as you do.
I do not know how much time passed before I opened my eyes again, finding the sunlight casting over the ceiling fading to amber, red and gold; the sun was going down. I had slept nearly the whole day. I had been in conversation with the first emperor, and the mystery was coming to a close.
What Kahless said could only mean one thing: I had to either contact a friend of mine from Starfleet to change Worf back for the final confrontation, or I could ask K'Ehleyr if she had connections...but either way, I would see my husband's true self.
~o~
The USS Livingston - the very same ship that Curzon Dax once served aboard in the late 2350s, and now I was here for Worf's surgery because K'Ehleyr had a connection here. An old friend of hers from Starfleet days, whom Worf also knew as well and would very much help us.
I was back in my uniform, hair swept back into its ponytail, and now I had my baby boy in my arms. Rarely do you ever see an officer of the Federation with a baby in their arms, such as my position. But no one spoke to me disrespectfully, instead nodded and smiled at me, but there were others who just gave me professional glances that I didn't mind at all. K'Ehleyr was beside me the entire time, Worf between us, and I could see it in the eyes of those around us: I was the mother of his child. But who was anyone to criticize interspecies marriage nowadays?
K'Ehleyr's surgeon friend was a Vulcan male named Derak, and he willingly accepted to do the procedure, but it wasn't like he didn't agree on the communications channel. Cool, collected and logical, he did it for the sake of his comrades. Vulcans and no ruling emotions - I sometimes don't understand them, but they are what they are.
"There has never once been a failed process on my record, Ensign," Derak told me, unblinking and composed. "Rest assured, your husband will come to." He bowed his head once and left me alone. A few hours passed by that felt like an eternity as we waited. I looked at my friend K'Ehleyr who assured me with a hand on my lower back.
"Believe in him, Jadzia."
I jerked my head in the other direction behind me at the sound of that voice I had been horrified to hear - and the face I never thought I would see. "Curzon Dax, to what do I owe the unexpected pleasure?" I asked coldly, keeping a protective hold on my son and him to my breast. He whimpered upon sensing my anger at the man who ruined my life.
Curzon chuckled and inclined his head forward. "My dear, I never thought I would find you on the place I have once served..."
"Because I know the truth about my husband," I interrupted frostily, "and I have never been more happier if not completely whole when you ruined my life because you took the one thing I wanted most!" I kept my voice low, but I had to let him know how angry I was. "If I said I were happy to see you, I would be lying for sure indefinitely."
He looked very surprised before it reverted to threatening and icy. "I would watch that tongue, little girl. You wouldn't want me to expel your Starfleet position, would you?" he asked, walking up to me and leaning down to stick his nose in my face, but I returned it. He intimidated me once, and he wouldn't do it again.
"You don't scare me, Curzon. You never did. When all of this is over and after I help my husband complete his mission, then we return to our lives. I don't need you to run it for me." I lifted my chin at him.
"And then I'll return to the Symbiosis Commission to reapply. I dare you to try and stop me."
"Ensign Idaris, the procedure is complete."
Curzon never had his chance to respond to me when I turned away from him to the sound of Derak's confident voice. "It was a success," he informed me honorably. "He lives, and he wishes to see you now before we place him under for rest."
I was on the verge of crying happily as I tried to imagine my husband's face. In my arms, our son grunted and cooed, which also sparked the attention of my former field docent. "He's a precious little boy," Curzon noted, reaching, but I held back and protected my child from him, earning a wounded expression. "Jadzia, I only wish to give my blessings."
I wanted to curse at him, but then K'Ehleyr was there. "Go on to see him," she said softly. "I'll protect your son." I smiled at her, trusting her before turning and following the Vulcan inside the infirmary. The nurse who was a lovely middle-aged Andorian nodded when she turned to me, standing aside for me to see my husband on the bed.
I blinked in stunned shock as I looked at the handsome human face. Was that really my Worf?
It was the same young man I saw in the picture all those months ago. That...Julian Bashir. He was looking at me with the same soulful, fiery amber eyes - and this time with more tenderness than I remembered seeing in him. I also saw grief and sorrow. He had been a Klingon long enough that he had almost forgotten what it was like to be human. I felt my legs move forward until I found myself kneeling before the bed beside him, reaching to take his hand, noting how much smaller it was than before, but still larger than mine...and so soft and smooth.
"Worf," I whispered, feeling my cheek burn with a tear streaking down. He smiled at me then - a real smile, sincere and meaningful when he seldom did. His other hand came up and caressed my face while wiping the tear away. His silken skin made me melt.
"It's Julian now, my love. Dr. Julian Bashir, Starfleet medical officer."
I had read about Duras in my research on K'Ehleyr, and he seemed promising enough to become an adversary of Worf and Jadzia in here, but it was difficult to make him right. I'll watch more TNG someday soon, but for now, I'm relieved I got this the way I had to. :) I hope you all liked this.
I had it planned from the beginning for Worf to really be Dr. Julian Bashir. It was intended to NEVER make a direct love triangle between them and Jadzia, given how the show progressed from Julian in love with her only to not get her, his feelings strong even when she turned to Worf - and ended with Ezri Dax in the end. I thought it was new and fresh for surgically altered Julian to be the one Jadzia fell in love with. :) That is, if no one has already done it.
Next chapter - which is the grand finale - we will see the ultimate confrontation. :D Stay tuned! This story may have been challenging and refreshing, but it was worth it.
