Grand finale here. Enjoy!
Chapter Fourteen
Only Time
"It IS you," I whispered, turning my face into the palm of his hand caressing my cheek, kissing it tenderly. "Oh...I'm never going to call you Worf again...Julian." This new name was too foreign for me, but it was still the same man as I promised myself. His eyes were the windows to his soul; I could not treat him as a stranger. He was still my Klingon at heart no matter what.
His voice was lower than before, but still rich with a baritone accent that made my nerves excited. "Worf" was gruff, but strong and confident - and tormented all the same, and this was the reason why. In all the time I'd shared with him, it was a little difficult to see the face if not the eyes. Julian Bashir, however...I wanted to get to know this man who wasn't the one I married.
Julian lowered his eyes. To use his real name was still as I said it was: foreign. "You don't have to explain more."
"But I do," I insisted, the tears coming harder. "I still love you, but I'm going to have to get used to this new face."
His gaze was back to me, trying to smile but found it hard. "You sure you won't leave me because I'm not the man you thought I was?" he asked, turning his body halfway to me so we had nearly the same contact. Sobbing, I bowed my head forward and leaned against his heart.
"Oh...Julian..."
He sighed, his hands coming up to massage my back through my uniform. "I love it when you say my name - even if it's not the one I have always gone by for the last few years. There were times I nearly forgot who I really was."
I could only imagine how difficult that had been for him. Masquerading as something and someone else, being ill-treated and forced to restrain what his true personality was; it made me love him all the more. "Believe me...I know what it was like." As my life had been taken from me - but like I promised Curzon, I would go back and fight with what I had. For my family and for myself.
"Jadzia," he said after a long time to pass. I had been listening to his wonderful heartbeat which had not changed at all. "I fear the outcome of the battle against Duras. How to find him, how we should keep him from killing one of us or even both, which will most likely deprive our son of both parents..."
"Not if I can help you out." We both turned behind us to see K'Ehleyr standing in the doorway, with a broad grin on her face. Our baby was in her arms and looking at us both with curious eyes, then landed specifically on the face of his father - or rather, the man he wondered could be his father. But as he grew up, he might never see the face of "Worf" again, not learn the ways of the Klingon warrior if he didn't want to.
"K'Ehleyr," Julian noted, smiling and remaining laid back as he knew from his doctor's point of view that he should not move a lot. "Surprised to finally see me again?"
"You bet." She winked before getting serious. "So, the matter of Duras..."
~o~
"We still don't even know what to name him," I reminded him as we boarded the Klingon runabout back to Qo'noS. I did not see or speak to Curzon again when Julian was cleared to leave. I thanked Derak with K'Ehleyr before we departed. From what we heard, he was supposedly heading for Qo'noS after an important battle, ready to be received as a hero, but not for long. If there could be a good way to confront him in combat, or get his attention on us somehow so we could spring the trap...
I looked at my husband from the copilot's seat when I held our son in my arms yet again. He'd have to be laid down soon, but right now, I wanted to spend some more time with him as a family. When he was Worf - I meant Julian - we had debated over names but never agreed officially, so maybe now was the time.
He looked over from the corner of his eye, smirking in that corner that made me melt. I wasn't sure if I could get used to that. "I do know one. How does...Alexander sound?" he suggested.
My jaw dropped. "Alexander?" The name wasn't terrible, but I needed to know.
"Named after a distant cousin of mine on my father's side. Died in combat several years before. Does it appeal to you?"
I tested the name, given I knew my husband's real name. "Alexander Bashir..." I smiled then, looking down at his face, seeing the image of his father and the sides of his face lined with my spots. He was beautiful and precious, so I knew I had to protect him at all costs. "It's perfect."
He returned his attention to the controls then and there. I took my time to note how bright he was, but then it would switch to the somber I remembered in Worf. I had so much to ask him about his parents - his human parents, Richard and Amsha Bashir - and I knew the father was dead, but his mother was still alive. I wanted to know now. "What about your parents?" I asked gently. "Were you telling me the truth when you said you weren't close to them?"
Julian's face hardened. He looked at me briefly, giving me a little bit of that Worf in him before it softened. "Yes, I was. It's a long story there, but I was never close to my parents even when I tried to protect them from Duras."
"Okay." I stood up then. I'd checked to make sure the sensors were online, the plasma system in check and everything else, so now I could put our son - Alexander - in his bed made up in one of the bunks until we got home. It was so strange that I could use the word "home" for Qo'noS. The humans had a saying that was "home is where the heart is".
K'Ehleyr was at the replicator, getting herself a raktajino. I could use one myself. She smiled. "I'll take him for you," she offered, and I allowed her to cradle Alexander. "Did you name him?"
"Alexander," I answered proudly. She laughed and thought it was perfect. I turned to leave her alone and get back to the helm with my husband.
Some time passed before we both noticed she never returned to join us. I began to feel worried, but maybe she decided to watch over Alexander for us. But Julian had his doubts. "She's never gone this long," he said, standing up. "I'll take it from here." He leaned over and kissed my forehead gently before leaving the brig.
I tried to be cool and believe that K'Ehleyr was all right, yet I could not shake off the cold dread. What if something...happened to her? I hurriedly asked the computer to scan the number of life-forms here on the ship, and I quickly got the response.
"There are five life-forms."
I furrowed my brow, counting off myself, my husband, our son, K'Ehleyr...wait, there were only four of us, and the computer was saying FIVE.
Someone else was aboard.
Immediately, I knew we were all in danger, whoever this intruder was and however they bypassed the security of this vessel; I drew my phaser and quickly hurried through the doors, pointing it at every turn in case the invader was hiding. So far, I did not find him or her - but then I came across the cabins...specifically the one where Alexander was.
Before I went there, I nearly screamed when I saw my dear friend, K'Ehleyr, lying in a pool of blood at my feet. "Oh, gods!" I gasped, dropping to my knees but keeping my weapon in my hand. She was still alive, but not for long. I had no idea how long she was like this, but Julian and our son needed me if they were still alive.
K'Ehleyr gasped and coughed up blood. "J-Jadzia," she croaked, "he's...here...D.."
She didn't need to finish. "Duras is here," I whispered.
"You must..." She placed her hand over mine as one last gesture. "...kill...him..." That was what she said before she closed her eyes and exhaled one last time. She was gone. I wanted to weep for her but knew now was not the time. My family needed me. Laying K'Ehleyr's body down, I found both my hands covered in her blood. I closed my fingers into fists and made the blood oath that I would avenge her and protect the ones we both loved. Vow made, I stood and raised my weapon before going into the room where I heard my child crying...
...and there was my Julian being held against a dangerous-looking Klingon man with his dk'tang at my husband's throat. "Jadzia," he managed, but got no further. "Don't!"
"Too late, hellcat," Duras growled in Klingonese. "You will die here with your husband and the child." He nodded in the direction where the baby was resting, and crying as he was helpless against the impending fight to the death that would take place. He grinned savagely at Julian. "I've waited so long for this day, Dr. Bashir...and now my family will have its revenge against yours."
I gritted my teeth at the monster who ruined my husband's life, who committed countless atrocities before now, and who killed our friend outside. I could imagine how Julian felt and what vengeance he must be experiencing now. "Let my husband and son go, and face me yourself," I said, aiming my pistol to his face and ready to smoke his brains out instead, end it here and now, but he laughed cruelly.
"It will not be honorable to kill me in cold blood, Trill."
"Just as killing a very dear friend of ours was not!" I returned. "Now, let him go, or I will kill you where you stand!" My finger itched to pull the trigger with each second that passed...
Duras bared his teeth and snarled, giving Julian a little painful cut to his temple before letting him go crumpling to the ground, clutching his minor wound to the forehead. "So be it." He advanced my way with his dagger raised, and now I wish I had a bat'leth or at least a Klingon dagger on me. Quickly, I turned and ran out of the room, stumbling over the corpse of my friend in the process.
It was then that I saw her knife on her belt, grabbing it and standing to continue running. Now I had two weapons, but he was coming onto me fast. I dodged the first slash to my face, then brought my dagger upwards and sliced his wrist holding his weapon, causing him to howl in pain and clutch his wound. I gave him a little grin; who was helpless now? I pointed the knife at him as I held my stance, prepared to strike next if he didn't soon. He glared at me savagely, spitting out a curse that I returned.
"You're a traitor like your father before you," I rasped, "and you tried to kill Martok's entire family for knowing the truth about it. And now you're going to pay for it. If the Council won't stand up to you, then so will I."
"You won't get away with it, girl," Duras growled, before he let loose an exclamation in his language and displayed utter shock and immense pain. I looked past his shoulder and saw why: Julian had snuck up behind him and stabbed him in the back with his own blade. He gave me a triumphant smile that I returned.
I looked at Duras when he spoke. "You will not...have this day..."
"Yes, I will," I returned, bringing my knife upwards and striking to his heart, killing him right away. Blood poured onto my hand, adding a darker shade to the stains. Drawing the equally stained blade from him, I watched as Duras, son of Ja'rod, fell dead not that far away from our dear friend K'Ehleyr who did not deserve this. In the background, we could still hear Alexander crying for us.
Ignoring our enemy dead at our feet for the moment, I found myself looking into my husband's eyes - my Julian, my Worf, it did not matter - and I allowed myself to wrap my arms around his neck to bring him down for a deep, fiery kiss before we broke it off to turn and run back to give our son his comfort.
~o~
I know I said this before so many times, and I doubt it will ever be the last time.
When Julian and I returned to Starfleet and then knelt before the Klingon High Council, I expected us both to suffer some form of charge - namely before the Council - but we were both labeled as heroes. K'Ehleyr was mourned, of course, and we attended the funeral which took place aboard the Enterprise, headed by Captain Picard himself. It was somber, as expected, and I held my baby on my hip as Julian and I sat beside each other, watching as the coffin was shot out into space.
When we were back on Qo'noS, we knelt before Chancellor Gowron as he dubbed us both honorable warriors, but we were not yet to take such blood oaths, given we were not true, wise warriors to come of age. That was well for us, but Gowron swore he would completely trust us both to give such an honor to live on in history to come.
And our Starfleet careers? We returned together and were stationed on the USS Cochrane - for the time being - but Julian was working to get his medical career back on track; I found that my husband had taken classes concentrating on starship operations while he was at Starfleet. I had to do the same for myself...and this might cause a rift between us and raising our son, for I knew I had to go back to the Symbiosis Commission to reclaim what should have been mine.
I was going to get the Dax symbiont one day, and I wouldn't let Curzon or anyone else stop me again.
When we first arrived on the Cochrane, we were both given a promotion to lieutenant junior grade, which was a great honor. Afterwards, I knew this was when I would temporarily say good-bye to my husband and son, and it made my heart wrench. I'd be going back to Trill and tearing through the initiation, going through all those tests which allowed me to put so much pressure on myself because I knew what I wanted. I was doing this for myself - and I want to say I am doing this for my family.
Julian...Alexander...
I wondered if I was abandoning them for this, even though I knew I would return when I was finished. The board was shocked to their cores when I demanded - yes, demanded - to be reinstated. I showed them right.
In three years, I was established. Imagine the look on Curzon's face when I was qualified. It wouldn't be long one day soon...
I swore I would never return to that place again, now that I looked behind my shoulder in the transportation vehicle taking me away once and for all. I never once left that structure, and there was no way to describe the torturous tests I endured. I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to tell Julian about this when I saw him again.
Surprisingly, my driver took me to the spaceport where my husband waited for me, beaming from ear-to-ear. When I kept in touch with him, he was doing well for a doctor. Established his practice, and our son was walking and talking fine, which I missed and regretted immensely. But when I got home, I would more than make up for any lost time.
"Jadzia," Julian breathed when he swept me up and kissed me. "I can't tell you how much we've missed you. And we have a surprise for you."
I loved surprises, but this one took me aback altogether when he brought me back to my home, to where I grew up and my family was waiting for me, as were our friends and colleagues from Starfleet. So was Julian's mother whom I got to meet for the first time, with Alexander in her arms, as well as General Martok and Lady Sirella...and I was beyond speechless when Julian told me the surprise that I knew I could not say no to.
"Jadzia, will you marry me again?"
It was a renewal, not only because I'd married another face if being the same man, but to reaffirm our love and to cut the separation for the last three years. Everything had been prepared for me a second time around, not that I minded. This time was softer and more bridal than the first time, showing I was a changed woman - on the verge of it. The dress I wore was plunging in the neckline, hugging my body in the right places and intricately laced all over. My hair was braided up and accented with petite brooches throughout to match the crystal and pearl headband. To see myself in the mirror made me feel like I was in a dream, wondering if this was really happening...
I had to touch the targ's tooth around my neck - the one from both Worf and Julian so long ago - to let myself know I was not dreaming.
~o~
Who'd have thought that I'd end up in this position: me laying on the operating table after another year to pass?
The day had come, and I was both excited and grieving at the same time. Excited because I was called in to become the next host of the Dax symbiont - and I was grieving because Curzon was dying. This was how it was between host and symbiont, in which one could not live without the other for that long.
I was grateful that the time came, after a long path fraught with obstacles. Believing in Kahless' wisdom, I allowed myself to fight for my own destiny, and it got me everything I ever wanted in my life; I also did everything I could to make those around me happy even if I could not always please everyone.
Curzon had been spending some time on Risa, I heard, when he suffered strain while being with a woman he'd known. Womanizer - he certainly got a somewhat happy ending after all, even if he spent the last of his days yelling at the doctors around him. I thought it amusing...but it did not give me the closure I wanted with him. I never knew why he dropped me the way he did, and it seemed now was my chance before I would lay on that table beside him during the surgery of removing the symbiont from him and into me.
I was shocked when he told me. I was standing over his hospital bio-bed when I came to see him.
"Jadzia," he said softly, sighing and closing his eyes, the strain of old age and lovemaking with a younger woman having gotten to him, "the reason I had you washed was because the moment I met you, I began to see you as more than just my student, no matter how hard I tried to shove it down...and it was the same way your husband feels for you."
"You...loved me," I clarified, stunned because never in a million years did I ever think he'd feel like this for me - an older man for a young woman who was vying so hard to become the next host.
Curzon then reached for my hand. "I tried to ignore it, thought it foolish because I was your superior, so I had no choice. When you told me you were pregnant, I decided that was the chance. But in the end, I regretted my actions of robbing you of what you wanted most - and I always knew you'd be worthy of the name Dax, Jadzia. You proved me wrong all this time, but you had to fight back yourself as I tried to teach you. You prevailed in the end." His eyes closed for a moment before opening again and looking up at the ceiling.
"I meant my word when I blessed your son. You have a wonderful family; don't let Dax overwhelm you and change who you are inside, and don't let it change your love for Dr. Bashir."
I held my breath when he said this, his gesture of releasing me from the pain he caused me and promising me that the future would look up now. After all, who could ever say where the road went? I'd gone down that road so many times in my life, rewarded and lost alike, but it was worth it.
I lay naked on the operating table now, the light shining over my eyes, but my body was covered with a sheet. I swallowed, but the doctors assured me I was in good hands. I trusted them all with my life.
I found myself looking over at the man I blamed for trying to take my life away, getting my hopes up and crushing them - but then I found out it was because he had feelings for me besides as a mentor and student, which would never truly happen because I was married and had a child. He blessed me, gave me my dignity back and told me I was worthy to be his successor. I wanted so much to reach out to him when he turned and smiled at me. This was it.
"Curzon..." was all I could say when I felt myself drift away, under the effects of the hypospray.
When I awoke, I didn't know how to explain the onslaught of memories that empowered my senses. I felt IT moving within my abdomen - the worm. The Dax symbiont, excited to guide me but otherwise let me take charge of my path. I felt like a whole new person - or should I say, six different people? I was still Jadzia, wife of a great Starfleet physician and mother of his child, but I was not just Lt. Jadzia Idaris anymore, or Lt. Jadzia Bashir for that matter.
I was Jadzia Dax.
I have never felt so good in my life - or rather, six lives now that I was the latest.
I heard so many voices in my head when I came to, but I knew a few of them as Curzon who was inside me now, as well as Torias, Emony and so forth...and even Kahless who now saw fit to let me go alone but would always be watching me.
You have done well.
I looked up then, clutching the sheet to my body, and found myself staring at two familiar faces who were looming over me. From the corner of my eye, I saw the body of Curzon being taken away, and felt myself twinge yet again. I would miss him even though I now carried his memories...every one of them...and felt what he said was love for me...
"Will you still be the Jadzia I have known - even with another being, and several others inside you?" Julian whispered as I slowly sat up, keeping the sheet close to my chest. I looked first at him and then our Alexander in his arms, who reached out to me and uttered one word with sweet sadness on his little face.
"Mama."
My heart melted as I reached to grasp that little hand which made me feel so warm, then leaned my head against my husband's heart, feeling the brave beat reverberate through my being.
"Always," I promised softly.
When my grandfather died of a heart attack in his sleep in late February 2002, the remix version of Enya's "Only Time" was played, and it was also the first song by her I was exposed to. It's still a favorite and is perfect for anyone who lost a loved one or someone close to them at anytime. :'(
I'd faced the dilemma when I got to this final confrontation when we finally meet Duras. It was a nice departure for me because usually I have the main characters facing the antagonist early on instead of at the end. I also was torn between killing K'Ehleyr or not, given she was beloved, but I thought of it as a homage to the show and because I actually care about her as much as you all do.
So, I thought I would not do Alexander in here, but then came along the birth of Jadzia and Julian's son I eventually decided it would not be a bad idea. :) Alexander Bashir has a nice ring to it. In addition, for Jadzia to have closure with Curzon nearly the same way as she did on the show was what was vital to bring this tale to a satisfying end, and what better way to wake up than to her husband and baby boy over her?
I am really proud of this story, and a review is appreciated. :D
