Chapter 5: Uninvited

"You see, we got a call from Peter Jones saying something happened in the shop, well really the call went to headquarters, but we were so close, so they told us to come over here. Lucky we were nearby, Dolohov has been selling dark objects all over Eastern Europe." Ron said, after giving her a quick peck. She ruffled Harry's hair and gave him a big hug.

"They were pretty shaken up, Snape and Finnegan, more so than I expected." Harry added as Hermione filled out the paperwork, making sure to note everything Dolohov has been trying to sell and all the damage to Fleetwood and Jones, it had definitely been a struggle. Snape, Finnegan, and Vance had been on the task force since it was first started, of course they were shaken, she was too.

"Transport these two to the ministry before Shacklebolt fires me. And Ron, Snape is at our house, I don't know if he'll still be there when this is all finished, but just heads up." Harry laughed, imagining Ron and Snape sharing biscuits and tea, commenting on Quidditch and being friends.

"Now I'm sharing a house with the most hated former professor of Hogwarts." Ron laughed, punching Harry softly on the arm. Hermione even laughed a bit, trying to cover any misgivings she had about them making light of their former professor's plight; Spinner's End was empty save for him. Her bleeding-heart was probably showing on her face.

Ron wrapped his arms around her and held her close before leaving with Harry. She wanted to feel comforted and it was nice that instinctually, Ron had picked up on that signal. In these moments, she loved Ron. Perhaps it was that Ron had outgrown his need to be accepted and his fear of being looked over, because now he had confidence she had only seen on the Quidditch Pitch and of course at the final battle, but he didn't need her courage or admiration. He was no longer a thing for her to fix, and her judgemental ways hadn't changed much. She was not selfish, infact her selflessness was her most redeeming quality, in her opinion, but somehow when it came to Ron, all she could think of was herself, Hugo, and Rose. What would happen to Rose and Hugo if she and Ron decided to divorce? And why couldn't she just tough it out, be happy with a marriage that was better than most?

That evening, when Hermione finally returned home, she found most of the lights in the house out and her enchantments still in place. She assumed Snape had left and found no evidence he'd even been there as the sofa was spotless and tea remains cleaned up. She dropped her bag and gave Harlow, the owl, a few treats before taking letters she'd left on the table and flying off once more to hunt. Two letters from Hogwarts and one from Molly, asking them to Sunday brunch. It was always welcoming and comfortable at the Burrow and she longed for Molly's sweet embrace, so loving and unconditional, unlike her own parents who rarely showed affection. Hugo and Rose wrote about studying for end of term and the final Quidditch matches, Hugo wrote about how much he'd loved his first year so far. She longed to have them near.

Out of the corner of her eye, she was sure she saw Remus Lupin pouring tea in the dining room, she shook her head with her eyes closed and hoped he was gone when she opened them again. Stress brought him back, she thought to herself...but when she opened her eyes, he was still there. As she walked towards him to get a better view of the man she had once admired so, tears welled up in her eyes. This hadn't happened since before India and she wasn't completely prepared to see him again, even if the image was completely false. Wiping her eyes, she saw him look up at her and she realized immediately, it wasn't Remus Lupin, it was Severus Snape. His shortened hair and regular clothing had fooled her. Seeing her crying, he didn't know quite what to do, so he stood and offered her the seat next to him on the bench setting at her dining table.

"I'm such a fool." She whispered, wiping her eyes. Before she could sit completely, he was up making her tea. How had her eyes deceived her so?

"I hope it's not my presence making you cry, Granger."

"No, not at all, I thought you were Remus, that the visions had returned. I'm so sorry, I'm sure you must think I am looney." He did not reply, he simply set the teacup down and sighed, as though he was commiserating with her.

"Did you report to Shacklebolt?" She asked him, cooling her tea.

"Yes and the Vance family was alerted."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before she needed to wipe her nose. Running up the stairs, the tears started again. Why did his gentle kindness catch her so off guard sometimes? Working together for so long, their habits had become so natural to each other, and even Seamus and Todd, they could all predict each other so easily. Changing into regular clothes, splashing her face, blowing her red nose several times before feeling presentable enough to head downstairs, she hoped she hadn't made a fool of herself.

"Your tea was getting cold.." He said, holding her cup in his hand.

"Thank you, did you eat anything?" He nodded no, so she asked if he wanted anything.

"My appetite is gone, unfortunately." Frowning, she heard her stomach gurgle and then settle, she had to have something. In the kitchen, she thawed some mushroom soup, she wanted something light.

"You'll feel worse if you don't eat." She replied, teasing him slightly, wondering if Ron was going to be home at all that night.

"I've survived on less, as you well know." The niceties were wearing thin; he was not in the mood for a chat apparently. So, Hermione finished warming the soup Molly had sent her home with at the last brunch and nabbed a hunk of bread before sitting cross-legged at the table. A raised eyebrow took her back immediately to her days at Hogwarts, his arched brow immediately reminded her of every marked parchment and, in his eyes, every sub-par potion.

"You don't terrify me any longer, so you can tuck that eyebrow away." She teased, smelling and tasting her soup with much excitement, trying to entice him to eat. "This is Molly's famous mushroom soup, in case you're wondering." He melted, visibly and stood, made a quick bowl and joined her again at the table. Sometimes she forgot that they were once strangers whose only cordial relationship revolved around academics, but now they were friends, and she rather liked his spiky witt.

"I knew that would coax you from the chair."

"If it's Molly's cooking…" He voice trailed off, implying her own cooking was lacking.

"You don't have to eat anything I make ever again, I promise." Surprisingly, his facial expression changed into something she didn't recognize from him and she wished wholeheartedly, that she could keep her mouth shut, for once in her life.

"I'm a bit off tonight, today was challenging...I…"

"Perhaps, there will be a time where there are no days like this, but in my experience, that may never happen." He had been tapping his spoon lightly on the edge of the bowl, pausing before lifting it to his mouth. Intrigued, Hermione thought about all the experiences Snape had endured, a less than loving mother, devotion to someone he could never have, a spying career and teacher to students he had to protect against all costs, a mentor that asked so much, so often, and suddenly, she wanted him to stay, she wanted to relieve him like Molly had always comforted her. But they hadn't lost in anyone on the task force in years and the loss was felt supremely by both.

"I've been thinking about applying for a different position. I failed you today, I don't want that to happen again; I can't be the reason that tragedies occur for you, over and over."

"Martyr." He teased facetiously.

"But seriously, I've been working with Law Enforcement for twelve years, maybe it's time to do something less dangerous?" Finishing her soup, she sent her bowl to the sink, eating the leftover bread slowly.

"And what would you do?" She shrugged and thought about teaching or perhaps something with St. Mungos.

"I have many qualifications," He rolled his eyes as she said this, "but I do find more fulfillment in this job than any other. I guess I'm waiting on Shacklebolt to give me the axe."

"Why? You followed protocol once you were alerted, if anything Finnegan and I will get called in, not you. Undoubtedly you are Shacklebolt's darling, he will not call you to task." Wiping his mouth, Snape crossed his arms and looked down at the soup he could barely finish, wishing he had left before she got home so he didn't have to deal with the loss in front of her.

"You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like, I don't know if Ron will be back or if he and Harry are going back to Bulgaria, and Rose and Hugo won't be home for another six weeks. You should enjoy your three weeks off." He hadn't blinked as she spoke, making her feel insecure for a second, wondering if she was being too kind, too forward. But, he grinned as only he could.

"Yes, three weeks off, what shall I do?" Momentarily, she envisioned him on the beach in Marseille, reading a book, smoking a pipe and reading Dumas. "I will certainly not be doing that."

"You're lucky my defenses are down, Sir." That time, she hadn't even noticed the intrusion of his mind. "If you want to know what I think, I'll be happy to tell you."

"There is no need for that, Granger, your thoughts are keenly displaced on your face for everyone to see." Squinting at him in her most playfully angry face, she splashed him a bit with her tea.

"Then why do you try to invade my mind so often, if I am an open book for everyone to see?"

"It keeps you sharp for enemies and sometimes…" He paused, afraid of where his answer was going.

"Yes?" Poking him gently, he caught her hand and held it like he had in India. Sitting so closely and holding his hand, Hermione felt the distance between them disappear. What had made Snape so bold suddenly?

"Because sometimes, I like the image you have of me in your head, so much nicer than who I really am. You look favorably upon me but I don't deserve it." With that, he met her gaze, seeing her tears again made him sorry he was being forward and admitting something he should've kept to himself.

"Now who's being the martyr?" Her words made him feel better as they both laughed a bit, both refusing to let go of the other's hand. She liked the way his smile spread across his face, even his eyes were smiling, it was something she had never seen before, even late nights in caves or random muggle homes where Seamus was trying to make laugh to break the tension.

"I find that honesty is something I can give you, even if you don't always seek it." His words wounded her slightly, she should be thinking only of Ron, but in that moment, the images of she and Snape in love, traveling and seeing the world, writing books together, being happy, permeated her thoughts; it suddenly brought back all she'd seen in India. He was right, he had always given her honesty, even in her younger days, even when he was cruel; and if nothing else, he had a great propensity to be cruel.

"You give me so much more than honesty, Severus." Squeezing his hand, she wished he could see her thoughts just then. Immediately, though, she felt guilty. Her husband could walk through the door at any time and see what looked like more than just colleagues sitting at a table commiserating. Even with her thoughts of guilt, she wanted nothing more than to embrace Snape, like she had wanted to earlier. For a moment, she pondered if her unhappiness with Ron stemmed from her feelings for Snape, as new as they seemed it at least as much as she would admit, but she pushed that thought from her brain because she knew, without a doubt, that her unhappiness with Ron started long before Snape was in her task force.

"I give that which can be received." He replied, in a riddle, gently running his thumb across her hand, sending chills down her spine. She wanted nothing more than to melt in his arms, to finally feel that embrace, but she knew she couldn't and wasn't entirely sure he felt the same way, perhaps he was just being a friend. Momentarily, she felt stunned herself and mute, she had no idea how to respond to him except to hold his hand with both of hers, lacing her fingers between his and contemplating leaning closer to him, but she didn't. Instead they sat there, their hands entwined, for a few minutes more before she sighed and let go, giving him a final squeeze so she could drink the last of her tea. All the emotions she had felt since India, all the healing she had been able to experience through meditation and the teachings of her guru had given her power she had forgotten she possessed, but nothing prepared her for even the hint of a different life, life with the one person she never imagined for a second she would want. As she ruminated, he put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer- she could smell her happiness on him, parchment and sage, a faint burnt smell from the spells, and her heart exploded. She knew he hadn't been in her mind, that he couldn't have known she needed so desperately to remain this close to him, to embrace him in such a way. Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled herself closer, though she knew at any minute Ron could walk through the door or apparate in the living room. For a moment, she didn't were both mourning Todd, both knowing that losing him was raw and real on their minds. Even though they'd lost so many throughout the Second Wizarding War, losing Todd somehow felt like a personal attack.

"I'm sorry."He whispered, his chin resting on her head as she held him tightly.

"Why?" Inquisitively, she asked, closing her eyes and taking in the moment, relishing each gentle rub of her shoulder.

"I have put you in a precarious position."She laughed against him, loving his pun and realizing that it was true, they were now crossing a boundary. But Hermione knew exactly what she was doing and refused to give credence to his words, instead she pulled him closer and almost sitting on his lap, her knees grazing his, practically on top of his. Without a doubt, she knew emotionally what she was doing was wrong, if Ron saw them now it would be over, he would never forgive her. Did he even suspect she had feelings for someone else and what did that mean? Was she being unfaithful? What was wrong with two people so obviously grieving embracing each other? Lost in thought, she didn't notice herself slowly drifting off and when she finally woke, she was alone in her bed, the sun coming up through her blinds. Sadness surrounded her, wishing she hadn't fallen asleep and losing precious seconds. Snape would most likely never admit his feelings or re-create their evening again; she should've taken in every second, if only to feel so wanted again. She wondered momentarily if her feelings stemmed from losing Todd, another brave soul. But as she searched herself, she knew those latent feelings weren't new, they just hadn't been real before.

Wrapping herself in her robe, she walked somberly down the stairs finding Ron and Harry at the table, eating a full English breakfast and laughing about something she couldn't surmise at first. At least they were okay, even if she felt like the worst wife ever; she should've been more worried about her husband and less worried about her ridiculous affections for someone she could probably never have.

"Good morning, 'Mione." Ron cheered, taking a huge swig of tea before stealing the black pudding from Harry's plate.

"You look like you're having a great time. I'm glad you're home." She kissed his ginger hair and patted Harry on the shoulder...they were sitting in the exact seats she and Snape had been sitting, which didn't seem as close as the night before so suddenly.

"You just missed Snape, he waited until we got here. Nice bloke, sometimes, doesn't say much." Trying to remain emotionless, she filled the teapot and started the flame, looking at her calendar and wondering how long Ron would be home.

"He's something." She said, nibbling on a potato wedge and reminiscing of the night before. She carried her plate into the dining room and sat across from her guys, feeling for a second that it was old times.

"It's been too long since we've done this." Harry added.

"Speaking of which, we're invited to brunch tomorrow at the Burrow. Did Molly send you an owl?" Harry and Ron nodded, their mouths stuffed with kippers.

"Good, I think she's making roast and turnips, oh and a strawberry trifle." Her tea ready, she squeezed Ron again, he swooped her onto his lap, making her giggle. "Ron!" He smacked her squarely on the rump as he propelled her up. Harry blushed a bit.

"Well we're going for sure. I think Charlie is bringing the fiancee and I am dying to see what Mum thinks about her." Before sitting next to Ron and Harry at the table, they were chattering about something related to Bulgaria, she noticed a small note by the biscuit jar in Snape's codex simply: "Nothing ever becomes real, till it is experienced. Be brave, Gryffindor". Another riddle, another phrasing she would think about for weeks.

"Ron, does that mean you get to stay for a while?" He nodded, then replied.

"At least until Monday, we have some disappearing wands to investigate." She laughed, knowing that was code for other items often confiscated or investigate by aurors, then placed Snape's note in her ID badge, behind the Ministry seal, where no one would ever think to look. No one could crack his codex without the key, he was like a walking enigma.

"Good." Kissing him once more, she finished her tea and listened to them talk about quidditch. She wondered if Ginny ever thought about Harry as she thought about Ron. But they weren't so mismatched, though, so she probably never did. Monday was supposed to be there next therapy session, she hoped he would actually go since it was technically his idea.

Brunch at the Weasley's was always pleasant, though none of the children were around except Lily and Teddy, one too old to be in Hogwarts and one too young. Hermione loved the feeling of belonging to such a large family, but she felt the guilt of her actions as well. She speculated on whether Molly noticed her strained relationship with Ron.

They stayed longer than usual, probably because she worried about being alone with Ron at their home, afraid she might suddenly blurt out that she had feelings for Snape or that she didn't want to be married to him any longer, but none of that happened. They returned home and Ron went immediately to the den to watch quidditch while she worked on reports for the Ministry, their lives falling into that same old pattern she wanted to break. Two shadows living in the same home, rarely speaking unless absolutely necessary; it just wasn't for her.

The next morning, even though she had reminded him twice, Ron missed their second appointment but she spent the time talking about the recent events with the loss of Todd Vance, his funeral services were in three days. Healer Marcia was kind but knew her boundaries and professionalism. It felt good to unload on someone without a vested interest in the events and she finally shed some of her guilt. At the end, the healer asked her again what she wanted but Hermione couldn't answer the same way this time, she just wanted to be happy. When she arrived home, a letter from Ron awaited spewing apologies about getting distracted on a job and how he would make sure he was at the next one, but Hermione didn't schedule a next one, if he wanted to schedule, then he could. Another letter awaited, this one in the familiar code she had unraveled for years. He wanted to meet for coffee; her heart leapt but she immediately decided if they were to meet, she would remain professional, explain her reasons for doing so, nothing could happen until she could tell Ron that they would be parting. She would not hurt him in that way.