Chapter 8: Everything Has Changed

They met at King's Cross to get Rose and Hugo from the Hogwarts Express, so happy to see their children, both of which seemed to have grown tremendously over the school year. Ron was surprisingly nice as they traveled together, driving Hermione's Peugeot. Hugo's owl, Bertie, twittered loudly in his cage as they bumbled back through the crowd to their car.

"Rose, how were exams? You forgot to finish your letter." Hermione asked, her arm around her red-haired daughter, taller than she was in 4th year.

"Good, I passed everything but I am not sure I want to continue Divination next year. Professor Trelawney seems batty." Ron and Hermione exchanged a furtive glance, Hermione trying not to giggle.

"Well, you won't have to unless you want to."

"I didn't think exams were hard at all, Mum, but I am worried about potions. Gryffindor lost 50 points because two students couldn't remember how to make the first potion we brewed. I was so embarrassed." Hugo's voice cracked a little, reminding Hermione of Ron at that age, even though Hugo looked more like her everyday.

"That happens each year, not everyone is good at potions, Hugo." Rose chastised, rolling her eyes. 'Siblings', Hermione thought. She didn't always understand their dynamic because she was an only child, but most of the time they were kind to each other.

"Are we going on vacation tomorrow?" Hugo asked, ignoring Rose.

"Yes, darling, and Meme and Papa are coming for a couple days and then Granny and Gramps, too." Rose and Hugo both cheered, making Bertie hoot wildly in his cage. Rose had never picked a familiar, so she sat quietly looking through a quidditch magazine while Hugo pet Bertie through his cage,as Ron drove quietly, like he was lost somewhere in thought. She wondered when exactly they were going to tell the kids, the Weasleys already knew and so did her parents, who weren't surprised at all. The Weasleys, on the other hand, were shocked. In true character, Molly begged Hermione to give Ron every chance during the six months to prove their marriage was worth saving, but Hermione's mind was made up and all the love she had for Molly and Arthur wouldn't change that.

They pulled into the garage and the kids ran into the house, neither remaking on the entire new wing of the house or that their rooms were now situated in the middle of the upstairs. She knew once they realized it, they would have questions. Placing the keys on the bar, Ron gave her a slight smile, happy to hear their kids running upstairs, but Hermione knew that painful things needed to happen. She followed Rose and Hugo's lead and ran up the stairs, hoping a letter had come from Snape, and she was pleasantly assured as she went into her bathroom.

"H: Healer Thompson has spent an entire day showing me how to brew dreamless sleep, perhaps he did not read my file or resume, so needless to say it's been a dull day. I wish there was more to report, but unfortunately, I spent so much time today rolling my eyes I might've fallen asleep for part of the process...undoubtedly I do not need dreamless sleep this evening. Rose and Hugo arrive today, enjoy your vacation. I will not send your letters while you are in Bath to give you time with your family. Expect them when you return, because true to my word I will write you everyday for this six months, a true labor. S.S" She laughed, imaging the terrible look on his face all day, she enjoyed how funny he was which so few were able to see. She'd miss his letters, but liked so much that he respected her family time. Folding his letter, neatly coded as usual, Hermione placed it with the others in an enchanted letter box, each day represented. Softly, she heard Ron's light tapping at the door, looking ashen for a second, obviously working up the nerve to ask her something.

"You can come in, Ron."

"I think we should tell the kids after Bath, I want them to have a good time." He sat on the edge of her bed, the one they used to share, and felt the weight of her decision coldly.

"I agree, I want the same. We'll need to tell our parents not to mention it." She joined him on the edge of the bed, her arms crossed, looking at the floor, feeling every bit as awkward as she was sure she looked.

"I don't know how I am supposed to act with you, honestly." Ron whispered, wanting her hold her, wanting to show her how much he wanted to remain her husband. This woman was someone he'd held closely for years, she was almost an extension of him. How could he not want to touch her, to kiss her, to hug her?

"We're still married, Ron, I'm still your wife. If you want to kiss me, kiss me. If you want to hold my hands, hold them. But, beyond that, I am afraid I can't...I'm sorry." Her heart broke a bit more, remembering a time when she had wanted so much more from him, like when they'd decided to have Rose, how easily she wanted him then.

"I wish you didn't feel that way."

"I do too, I promise." They hugged, his head resting on her shoulder, facing the wall.

"I can't imagine my life without you, I really can't." Wounding her, she knew this would come at some point, he just couldn't see how mismatched they were or wouldn't admit it.

"You will never live without me, unless I die before you of course. I promise, I will always be here for you, Ron." Softly, she ran her hands through his hair, feeling almost like she was comforting Hugo. A couple taps at the door echoed through the room before Hermione saw Rose pop her head around the corner.

"When did we get a new house?"

"We added some rooms, more space for grandparents and cousins, surprise." Ron stood, dragging his feet a bit and walked Rose around to the new sitting room next to Hermione's room, the three extra bedrooms, and the small kitchenette. It was as though a townhouse had been added to their existing home, giving Hermione complete privacy. Ron had the same new features, except only two bedrooms. All was situated around Rose and Hugo's rooms in the middle, with a sitting area and study nook.

"Sweet!" She heard Rose yell from the hallway, but Hugo didn't say much, only gave his father an odd look and went to Hermione's room.

"Mum?"

"Yes, Hugo?" He sat on the sofa in the corner of her room, looking out the window and lost in thought.

"But they never stay here." He finally said after several minutes passed.

"They can now, dear, they couldn't before because we didn't have enough rooms. Now Meme and Papa can stay during the summer to visit with you. And James and Albus, they can spend the night and don't have to hog your covers." He seemed to like that answer and jumped up, hugged her and ran to his bedroom. She heard him call out, "We have our own bathrooms, Rose!". With that, Hermione knew the kids were sold.

The next morning, car loaded and ready to leave, the Weasleys embarked on their traditional vacation to Bath, visiting Stonehenge for a couple days, and then spending several on the beach, building sand castles and swimming in the water, even though it was always frigid. Hermione's parent usually came the first few days and they always invited Molly and Arthur for the last few days, since they rarely went on vacations. Sometimes Harry and Ginny joined, but Hermione was worried things between she and Ginny might be weird considering current events and even though she had expressed the sentiment, Ron had invited them anyway.

"Is Teddy coming this year?" Rose asked, her ever-present crush on Teddy Lupin ready to gear up for the summer.

"I don't know, poppet, he didn't respond to your father's owl."

"Bummer."

"He'll be at Uncle Harry's birthday, he always is." Hermione responded, noting her forlorn tone.

"But that's not until July." Hugo teased her by making kissing sounds, he must've picked that up from other Gryffindors during the school year.

"You'll make it, I promise." Teddy was too old for her little girl, Hermione thought, then reminded herself that Severus was twenty years old than her. True to his word, no letter came before they departed, and she already missed his sardonic wit, but promised herself that she needed to focus on her family and not on some possible relationship that couldn't exist until after Christmas.

Their rented flat was always so welcoming. A kind elderly couple from Scotland rented it to them each year, charging so little Hermione wondered if it even covered the mortgage and taxes, but she didn't argue and always left a generous tip after a strict deep clean. The kid immediately ran to their rooms as Ginny and Harry walked through the door, their kids joining Rose and Hugo on the bunk beds. Poor James was getting rather tall for them.

"Teddy will be here tomorrow." Harry said, dropping his suitcase.

"Good, Rose was so concerned." They all laughed, but immediately Hermione felt a microscope on her afraid of their judgement.

They all settled in before the kids decided to walk to an ice cream shop and the adults were left alone. Ron and Harry fired up the outside barbeque while Hermione and Ginny made pasta salad.

"Can I just say I feel like a cow?" Hermione blurted out, trying to avoid Ginny's eyes.

"Why? Because of Ron? Hermione…" But Hermione interrupted her before she could finish.

"I love him, I really do, I promise...I just can't…"

"I get it. I mean, we've all heard you fight, even when you didn't think we could. You'll always be my sister, you know." Hermione squeezed Ginny so hard, she thought she heard her rib break.

"I was so scared you would hate me." She whispered, squeezing her tighter.

"We want it to work out, of course, but we like your plan, even if Ron doesn't think it will work. Harry, on the other hand, he's pretty bummed." Hermione looked out the window at the patio, frowning. Of course Harry would be upset, they were the golden trio.

" We're telling Rose and Hugo when we get home. I know they aren't going to take it well at all, especially Hugo. They were curious about the house...I honestly hope I am doing the right thing."

"You may not know until it happens, but I've known you for a long time and if there is any doubt, I know you've covered every angle, every possible fix. That's why I can't be mad, even though I wish it wasn't so." Hermione let her breath, feeling slightly relieved that at least one Weasley wasn't ready to cut her out of family pictures.

That evening, after dinner was devoured and games played, Hermione and Ron retired to their familiar vacation room. They hadn't shared a bed in weeks, though it felt like years since they were so rarely with each other. She lathered her skin in lotion, as she always did, and he read some reports from the Ministry, pretending to look at anything but her.

"Dinner was fantastic." She said, breaking the silence.

"Harry is magic on the grill, I mostly make sure nothing burns." His reply made her grin, they were some pair.

"Thank you all the same. This place is always so wonderful." Although she didn't want to give him false hope, she still gave him a quick peck and covered herself like a caterpillar in the covers, immediately rolling away from him, thinking of a day when she might be able to bring Snape to the vacation home.

"Goodnight, 'Mione." She replied in kind and heard him say, "Nox", and the room went dark. It was so very odd being this close to him without touching, she hadn't really thought about their sleeping arrangements before they'd left their house. She was surprised in the morning, when she woke and Ron was enveloped around her like a sloth to a tree; something about it was peaceful, but also wrong. Trying not to wake him, she inched away and slowly freed herself from his grasp. The smell of bacon wafted upstairs and she heard her parents call the kids down. Pulling her robe close, she prepared a happy face and met them at the bottom of the stairs.

"Mum!" She called out, hugging her mom tightly, then her father. Jack and Helen Granger looked the same, year after year.

"We aren't putting syrup on those cakes?" Helen called out, noting the ridiculous amount of syrup James and Albus had already poured on their pancakes.

"It's vacation, Mum." Hermione interjected. "Yeah, Meme, it's vacation." Rose added. Helen ruffled Rose's hair and kissed Hugo on the cheek.

"I can't wait to see the ruins." Jack followed Helen, sitting next to her and grabbing a handful of bacon. Hermione felt the relief of being surrounded by family and even when Ron came down the stairs, his arm at her waist, she felt relieved they could all be in the same place, happy.

The days flew by and they said goodbye to the Grangers as soon as they returned from Stonehenge and welcomed the Weasleys on the beach. With almost no real turmoil, Hermione wondered if her plan could actually work, perhaps they really would be able to function as a family, even with divorce. Her optimism was tested the evening before they were to return, though, when Molly begged she and Ron not to tell the kids until the school year finished, since the divorce would either be final or their marriage would still be valid. Hermione argued that it would dissolve at Christmas and telling them then would be cruel, finishing the rest of the school year in flux. Molly of course countered that that was why they needed to wait.

"Ron, what do you think? Sincerely?" They sat across from each other on the bed, the one they had shared innocently for eight days.

"I see why Mum wants us to wait, but I think telling them now will spare them later. If it all works out, no harm will really be done, but if it doesn't, at least it won't be a surprise." He seemed mature, then, like the time had been truly beneficial, or maybe she felt that way because he was finally agreeing with her.

"Tomorrow, then?"

"Tomorrow, but at home. I don't want their cousins or my parents saying anything we haven't thought to say."

"I love you, Ron." Hermione tickled his foot, accidentally forcing him to fall backwards off the bed, she came to his rescue, but it was too late, he smacked the ground so loudly, she was sure everyone in the flat heard him fall. Trying to help him up, both of them slipped with their socks, falling to the ground laughing as though they were back at Hogwarts. She heard Harry call from the hallway, but Ron answered before she could, their arms around each other, hysterically laughing at how silly they were and clumsy on her part. Stopping momentarily, Hermione looked deeply into Ron's eyes and wanted nothing more than to love him like she once did, to feel fulfillment. Without thinking, she pulled him close, so close their chests met, their legs entwined, and hands clasped around him, and she took him in, every inch of his body, wanting so much to connect to someone who seemed like a stranger. Knowing she was giving him the wrong impression, she, for a moment, didn't care and that brought tears to her eyes and she sobbed against him, hard and without care. She didn't want their marriage to have fallen apart as it had, she didn't want to hurt him and make him despise her.

"I love you more." He whispered, only making it worse, as his hands traveled up and down her spine. She knew deep down she had betrayed Ron, she had let herself fancy someone who wasn't her husband and that was unforgivable.

"I'm so sorry...this is not who I am." She whispered back, wiping her eyes with her cold hands and then immediately pulling him close.

"I know that, I know who you are and you're a good person, a good wife and mother. I can't blame you, but I don't want to let you go." As though possessed, she almost replied, 'You should've fought for me, for us.' But, she didn't. Instead she held him close and nuzzled at his neck, knowing this was the last time she would ever do so.

They lay together on the floor until she heard the hum of Ron's sleeping snore. Gently, she shook him awake and helped him to bed, kissing him and crawling in beside him. She cried herself to sleep.

They left around lunch and made it home in record time, dropping the bags and making sure the kids stayed downstairs before escaping to their rooms. Ron started, telling them that they had something serious to talk to them about, starting as every divorcing parent would by telling them that they loved them. Hermione told them the news, that they had filed for a legal separation, but that they weren't moving and that they would stay in the house indefinitely, at least until Hugo graduated. Hugo looked puzzled throughout, but Rose seemed calm, especially calm for her, who was hot tempered like her father.

"But, you still like each other. Brandy's parents fought so much, it was clear they were stupid for getting married." Rose said suddenly, as Hermione finished.

"We used to fight, Rosie, we did, but we haven't for a long time. You were very young when that happened." Ron defended, Hermione nodding in agreement.

"Does that mean we won't go on vacations anymore? And what about holidays?" Hugo asked.

"Didn't you hear them, they aren't going to have separate houses, we'll do things here." Hermione was surprised by Rose's indignation, her tone as terse as Hermione's had been many times.

"We will always vacation together, as long as we're able and you would still enjoy going. Nothing is going to change about holidays or summer, we have made an agreement to that." Hermione moved to sit next to Hugo, putting her arm around him and patting Rose's leg. Ron looked heartsick across from them.

"If you're willing to do all of that, why can't you just stay married?" It was Rose's last injection, her final question before waiting to be dismissed.

"Because sometimes, that isn't enough." Hermione was shocked by Ron's answer, his dejected tone was meant to wound her, and it did.

"We love you, though, and our lives together will stay the same. Some day, it might be changed. Dad might marry someone new and she will love you so much, and if that doesn't happen, you will still have us." Rose refused to meet either of their eyes, knowing what she knew of divorce, she didn't want to worry about splitting time and holidays, meeting new people she'd have to call her step parents. She didn't want what some of her friends had. Without saying another word she ran up the stairs to her room. Hugo waited around, motioning for Ron to join them on the sofa. Hugo was more sensitive than Ron had ever been, far more like Hermione.

"You promise we will live here?" His words broke what was left of her heart.

"Of course, we made a vow and we will honor it." Hermione patted Hugo's back and then Ron's. Hugo followed Rose up the stairs, but slowly, leaving Ron and Hermione watching their youngest child struggle. Overall, it had gone better than Hermione had expected, but she still worried about the rest of the summer. Ron hugged her and then she went upstairs, frowning until she saw a large stack of letters on her vanity. Her heart fluttered and she was vindicated for a second, then she chastised herself because she'd let her flirtation with Snape override her mantra, 'Alone is better than Ron'. Still, she soaked in every word, especially from the last letter, making sure she was alright and checking to see if she needed anything, saying to look for something on her desk when she returned to the Ministry, as he had been there to finish some final paperwork concerning Todd Vance and his position. She immediately sat and wrote him back, consolidating each of his letters into one that might be difficult for Harlow. Her penmanship suffered by the last bit, she wasn't quite as trained as she had been during her school days and writing in code took longer than normal. Making sure to tell him that the kids now knew that she and Ron were separated, she made sure to completely detail the promises she and Ron had made. Full disclosure was important to her, even if they didn't end up as anything more than a serious flirtation. Finishing her letter, she signed, 'Yours, H', in code of course, and sealed it. Five more months.