Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of it's tie-in merchandise.
AN - Having said that, I did use a lot of information about the... aliens in this story from the book "Doctor who: Monsters and Villains" because I wanted it to be as authentic as possible.
Hope these aliens do not disappoint! Enjoy :)
Chapter 4 - Guess Who?:
"You are not going to believe this" the Doctor said, looking at Rose seriously - trying to keep from smiling lest the bizarreness of the situation spoil the gravity of things.
"What Doctor? What are they?" Rose asked, a trace of fear in her voice.
"Rose, do you remember - back in the day - when I had a Northern accent, and big ears. Do you remember when we first went back to visit your mum?"
"Yeah, we'd been away for a whole year. She slapped you!" she grinned remembering her mother's anger at the Doctor, which in hindsight was a lot more entertaining.
"Do you remember what happened after that?" he asked.
"Yeah, I remember… that spaceship crashed into Big Ben and, and we visited Downing Street!" she turned to look at him.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me" she said, gob smacked.
"Nope. They're back. It's the Slitheen"
Tardis Fact File 2:
The Slitheen are a notorious criminal family of the Raxacoricofallapatorius race. They hail from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorius - a beautiful and ancient planet of wild forestry and marble palaces. Generally speaking, Raxacoricofallapatorians are civilised, elegant and proud. However, the family Slitheen - descendants of the original Huspick Degenerate, were born away from the main planetary continent, on the Islands of Hisp. As a result, the family were able to raise their children away from the traditions and courtesies of the ancient race. The family grew to be known for their criminal activities, including drug-running, arms-dealing and the infiltration and gradual control of the government. The Slitheen family were brought to justice by the Doctor (in his ninth form) with the help of Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith and Harriet Jones, the later Prime-Minister of Great Britain. They killed the entire family with a missile aimed at 10 Downing Street. Only one survived: Blon Fel-Fotch Pasameer-Day Slitheen, who continued to masquerade as Margaret Blaine. She later attempted to cause a nuclear melt down in the heart of Cardiff city in order to get transport off of Earth. She was then turned back into an egg and returned to Raxacoricofallapatorius as an orphan.
The family Slitheen is the most wanted group of Raxacoricofallapatorians. However, their cousins from both the families Blathereen and Rackateen are also descended from the Huspick degenerate and are known to have been involved in criminal dealings in the past. If their home planet had discovered this (as they discovered the Slitheen's indiscretions in the Great Purge of Yon:556) they, like the Slitheen, would be in hiding or trying to make a living on some far off planet.
"But how can it be the Slitheen? We wiped out their whole family when Mickey launched the missile. The only one that was left was turned back into an egg by the Tardis - we saw it happen! It's not possible" she continued in an awed voice. Mind you, we don't really seem to grasp the concept of impossible, she thought.
"Right you are, Rose. Never think things are impossible."
"You really have to stop doing that!" Rose cautioned.
"Make me"
"Fine, I will"
"I'd like to see you try" he teased. Then, remembering what they had been discussing only seconds before, "Right, where was I? Yes, technically, they aren't part of the actual Slitheen family - they are, however, a family from Raxacoricofallapatorius. I just thought it'd be easier to call them Slitheen. Who knows, they might be related!" he grinned.
"Okay, so what do we do about them? Blast them into oblivion like last time? Line them up and have them all look at the heart of the Tardis?" she joked.
"Well, I can't exactly reason with them, can I?" said the Doctor, "Last time I tried that with their species, they tried to electrocute me. Nope, talking to them is definitely a last resort".
"So what do we do then?" Rose wondered. "What about how mum and Mickey did it last time? They sort of exploded their Slitheen with vinegar and stuff. Should we do the same?"
"Oh Rose Tyler, you're a genius!" the Doctor said, despite the fact that he had been thinking of the same plan without her help. But he let her have her moment of glory.
"Okay, so we need like vinegar or something."
"Acetic acid, yeah" the Doctor corrected.
"K, but how much? I mean, how many are there?"
"According to the scan, there's only a family of about 20. That's tiny, for a Raxacoricofallapatorian family group. And apparently they're… oh, did they have to?"
"What is it Doctor?" Rose asked, frowning.
"They're camped out exactly where I was planning on taking you for dinner" he sighed, looking at the Tardis screen that displayed their whereabouts.
"That'd be right. We're on our honeymoon, enjoying one another's company when a family of aliens decide to take our dinner reservation."
"Pretty much, yeah. But why are they here? I mean, Raxacoricofallapatorius is millions of light years away. It would've taken them ages to get here - lots of time and energy just to reach this tiny little planet. Why?"
"Don't spose they want to turn the planet into a ball of radioactive rubbish and then sell it off bit by bit, like the Slitheen wanted to do to Earth?" Rose wondered.
"Now, that's not a half bad guess. But this planet is completely unarmed, they don't have the resources to launch a missile at themselves or build a self-destructive nuclear power station."
"That reminds me of Cardiff" Rose interjected.
"You know what, I think we should go and talk to these Slitheen."
Rose sighed, "How did I know you were gonna say that?"
"Psychic Link"
"You know what I mean"
"Yeah, I was just kidding. Sorry. So, shall we?" he offered her his arm.
"Why not?" Rose countered, looping her arm through his.
"Oh, hold on," said the Doctor, breaking contact and bounding back into the rabbit warren of corridors that made up the Tardis. "I just need to get some acetic acids" he yelled. Several minutes later he strode back into the console room to find Rose leaning against the doors, arms folded across her chest.
"You know, and I'm not complaining, I promise - coz I love doing this more than anything in the world," she paused slightly, "But this isn't exactly how I imagined my honeymoon. Mind you, our wedding wasn't exactly how I pictured it either." The Doctor walked over to her, uncrossed her arms, and took one of her hands in his.
"I'm sorry, Rose" he said simply, "I swear I had no idea that this was going to happen. I don't mean to find trouble. It just sort of has a habit of finding me" he looked at her guiltily. Rose couldn't help but smile.
"Yeah, well, I wouldn't have it any other way" she said, "Now let's get a move on. Don't want to leave it too long, before we know it this planet could be…" she shrugged.
"Good point. Off we go, then" said the Doctor, once again joining arms with Rose as they waled out the Tardis doors.
"Just wondering Doctor"
"Yes Rose?"
"Where'd you put all that acid?"
"Pockets, they're bigger on the inside".
Stay tuned - i will post more soon
in the meantime, feel free to review :) hope you liked it!
