I panted slightly. I was probably going to die, eventually, from all of this... I laughed as I recalled what I had told Nezumi. It had been a lie, of course. It wasn't his fault I was so addicted. Three years... It doesn't sound that long, but really, a lot happens.
"Requiem," I murmured to myself. It was a word I learned a while ago... Perhaps half a year after Nezumi had left. After Nezumi had left - a phrase that seemed to be tacked onto all my sentences. I no longer loved him...
Do I hate him? Or fear him?
No, I decided. But my feelings remained a tangled mess to me, haunting me until I fell into an uneasy sleep.
"Shion! Shion!" Inukashi... His face blurred into view above me. He was crying. "Don't die! You can't die! Everyone needs you! And when Nezumi comes back! Shion, don't die!" I laughed weakly. Somewhere in me I felt my lungs ache, but everything hurt now. "You can't just... expect me to not die," I said.
He looked desperate. White ceiling... White walls... Muffled voices and sounds in the background... "Please live, Shion!" he sobbed again. His hair was falling on my face. Dark as it was, it almost reminded me of that restless rat's hair. Almost...
"You won't die," Inukashi repeated fiercely. A vague stirring of uneasiness grew in me. "Inu..." I began, but then someone else was touching me, moving my body now, hands pulled Inukashi out of my sight. He was talking to someone else now.
I can't hear him. A prick in my arm. Morphine, I realize, and then
I
feel
nothing.
My eyes flew open, my body shuddering in the aftershocks of the nightmare. There was knocking at my door. "Shion? You okay in there?" I paused slightly, controlling my breathing, before replying, "Yeah. I'm good, I'll be out in a minute."
"It's 7," he added unnecessarily. I had a clock near my bed, wasn't it obvious I knew the time? "Thanks," I called out, already changing. I stared into the mirror for the first time in a while, contemplating my face with my hair down. I look like a girl, I thought morosely. But that's what girls like, so there's little I'm going to do to change it.
As I emerged from my room I said, "Good-bye," as I pulled on my shoes. A quick peck on my cheek startled me. I blinked at Nezumi. He wasn't looking at me anymore though, so I shrugged and walked out.
Maybe I should have said 'good morning,' I mused. I'd forgotten most of what Nezumi did... I wondered what the difference was between the him then and the him now. Hopefully there's too many to count, I realized. That would mean he's like me.
If it feels like the story has taken a different turn, it really has. I changed my mind - or rather, my mood changed. I'm bored, you see. And if you've noticed nothing, forget I said anything! Okay? Okay. Hope you enjoyed!
