Disclaimer: If I owned Doctor Who... well, never mind, because I don't

AN - lots of emotional stuff here. its not romantic fluff yet, im sorry, because they both need to work through some stuff. Rose with her first real 'killing' and the Doctor with painful memories of Gallifrey. Sorry if it gets boring - its necessary to the plot, I promise.

And also, I had fun writing it so it shouldn't really be that bad! Enjoy :)


Chapter 9 - A Moment in the Tardis:

It had been a week since Rose and the Doctor had saved the planet of Neuvolima by destroying the Rackateen family. It had been a week since Rose had actually thrown the acid on them, and it was taking her a full week to get over this realisation. Sure, she had helped to destroy aliens in the past, because they had threatened her life. Daleks, cyber men, the Jagrafess, the werewolf, Krillitanes, etc. She had helped to finish all of them off. But this was different. She had not had the Doctor's help; she had not stopped to think about other options. She felt unclean. The first night that they had spent in the Tardis, she had sat under the shower, crying, not even bothering to remove her clothes. That was where the Doctor had found her, half an hour later. He had helped her change, put her to bed, comforted her and held her in his arms long into the night, but she was still clearly shaken by what had happened.

Now, after a week of floating in the time vortex, she was ready to move on. Their first full week back together had not been a particularly pleasant one, due to her emotional rollercoaster, but she was now ready to start anew, wanting to throw herself back into the action whole-heartedly.

"Doctor," Rose said, she walked into the control room with a bowl of cereal in one hand and an banana in the other, "I was thinking. Do you think it's time we got out of here? Let's visit Earth or New Earth or something." She handed him the banana.

"I don't know Rose," he said apprehensively, "We don't have to keep moving on so quickly if you're not ready"

"But I am, though, that's what I mean. And it's been a week" she said, abandoning the cereal on the jump seat. "I want to get back out there Doctor. I'm ready" she pleaded. He just looked at her, not wanting to discuss the incident with the Raxacoricofallapatorians lest she become upset. Too late.

"Those Rackateen, they were evil. They wanted to destroy that planet and they would've killed me if I hadn't gotten them first. So really, I'm fine" she said firmly.

Rose wasn't the only one who had been deeply affected by the Rackateen, however. The Doctor, though he would never willingly admit it to Rose, was painfully reminded of his own losses by those recent events. The entire family had been wiped out in an instant. They had deserved it, he repeated, convincing himself that what they had done was right. But he couldn't help but be reminded of his own planet, his own family, who had all been killed just as suddenly, just like the Rackateen. He was torn up inside; old wounds had begun to open up and the cracks were beginning to show.

"We'll go in a little while" he replied vaguely, looking through Rose rather than at her. It was at this point when Rose realised that something was wrong with the Doctor. She had been so wrapped up in her own feelings of guilt and remorse, that she had been oblivious to the subtle changes to the Doctor's character. He had been as gentle and kind as ever, that first night, when he found her in the shower. Since then, she realised now, he had been distant and aggravatingly vague. He wasn't rough or taciturn, as he had been in the initial days after the war, but his behaviour was starting to warrant notice from Rose and she had to admit that it was worrying her.

"Doctor, are you alright? You're not really with it" she stated, waving a hand half-heartedly in front of his face.

"Hmm, oh what? No, I'm fine. Just, you know, tired. Haven't had by banana today" he attempted a weak grin and picked up the banana. End of conversation.


The following hour saw Rose pacing in the costume room of the Tardis. She hadn't known what to do to snap the Doctor out of his reverie and she thought that seeing as how they had never really done their honeymoon properly, they could play a little dress up - just for fun. As she searched the racks of clothing for something with many layers - for the more layers, the more fun it is to peel them off slowly - she thought she heard a sort of soft humming in her head. She realised it was a song. It was a melancholy tune, with soft notes and great sweeping crescendos - it reminded her of a cross between the mellow mediation music that her friend Shareen used to listen to and bagpipes. A strange combination perhaps: it was incredibly sad, and before she knew it Rose had started to cry. Whether the Doctor or the Tardis had been the source of the music, Rose had no idea. But while she was listening and weeping, she had been drawn, trance-like, into a dark, deep corner. Wondering if there was a reason that her legs had taken her to this particular region of the cavernous room, Rose pushed back the long black curtain in front of her - perhaps it was a changing room?

She gasped. In front of her hung the most regal and ancient-looking item of clothing she had ever seen. Flowing red material formed a sort of robe, which was adorned with a reddish leathery shell frame that overed the shoulders. These, like the helmet-like head piece, were rimmed with fine rope and shell pieces, giving the outfit an almost primitive feel.

This must be from his home planet, Rose thought in awe, I wish he would have shown it to me himself.

Rose understood that the loss of his people and his home planet had been the most painful experience for the Doctor. She could understand how it felt to lose family, although she recognised that his loss was far greater than hers. She had gained a husband and true friend in relinquishing her family, and yet he, who had lost everything, was constantly revisited by those who had brought about the destruction of his world - the daleks. Despite the fact that Rose understood all of this, she could not help but feel saddened by the fact that the Doctor remained clam-like about Gallifrey. She had never asked, that was true, but in the week that they had been married, he hadn't mentioned it. Considering that this was what was making him so distant, Rose felt a certain degree of annoyance that he hadn't discussed it with her. After all, talking always eased the pain - or so her mum used to say. Her cheeks were damp with tears as she stood staring at the regal outfit hanging before her, and they still were when she heard a noise behind her.

There stood the Doctor, indescribable sadness in his eyes, staring behind Rose at the dress robes hanging in the closet. He heaved a sigh and went to take Rose's hand, knowing that he would feel comfort at the touch of her soft fingers. He looked down into her concerned eyes, which mirrored the sadness of his own.

"Tell me about Gallifrey, Doctor" she said.


Okay, so there you have it. More emotional stuff in the next chappie coupled with Romantic fluffy goodness and possibly a trip to Gallifrey - if that's possible - i haven't decided yet. sorry about the description of timelord clothing - i tried, i really did!

Also: Sorry in advance - to those who don't know, I'm going away for a couple of days to a place with NO INTERNET!!! so I won't be able to update for three nights. I'm sorry! cowers in fear, but i'm sure you will all cope, lol

I promise to update as soon as i get back - i will make it up with lots of fluffy goodness, so i hope that's okay. but enough of my apologetic rambling.

happy fanficcing - and please review:)