A few days had past and he didn't mean to be, but he was avoiding Lothar. He was blushing every time he saw the warrior and got tired of the pressing questions. He looked up when he heard the handle jiggle on his door. The only person who would never knock would be Lothar. Khadgar sighed and answered the door. He was met face to face with a very upset Lothar, he could tell the other man had been crying. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, his cheeks were flushed and when he spoke his words were hoarse.
"You've been avoiding me." He stated matter-of-factly, breath reeking of alcohol.
Khadgar looked away. "Of course I have. I've felt confused. Do you need help to your room?"
The mage still didn't want to see him and it hurt. "I want to be here with you, just for a little bit. I'm lonely." Lothar admitted not caring how clingy he sounded. It had been days since he had seen Khadgar, he was missing him much more than he wanted to admit.
Khadgar was used to being alone. He may have been surrounded by many people in Dalaran but that didn't mean he had companionship. He didn't find that until Lothar came into his life. Lothar, on the other hand, had plenty of companionships, he had had best friends, a wife, and a son. He still had his sister, niece, and nephew. He still had some family. It was more than Khadgar had.
"Fine. I'll get you something to eat and drink." He walked over to the table in and conjured up a snack for Lothar, while Lothar settled himself on the mage's bed. Khadgar eyed the other has he brought the tray. "Here, this will help clear the alcohol haze."
Lothar patted the space beside him in the bed. Reluctantly Khadgar joined him. He was still very wary of Lothar being drunk, between what happened last time and the fact that Lothar, as their first meeting depicted, could very easily overpower him.
"What's bothering you Lothar?" Khadgar may have been avoiding him but he still cared for Lothar no matter the confusion he had. He was still unsure of his own feelings but he knew they had developed deeper in his heart since Lothar had kissed him. He looked at Lothar who was nibbling on the sweet bread he conjured up.
"It's nothing."
"Yes, it is."
"No, it's not."
"Yes-". Khadgar was not about to play this game with Lothar. "You've been crying, it's plain on your face. There is no denying it. Tell me what's wrong."
Lothar took a drink before moving the tray to the bedside table. "You've been avoiding me." The warrior stated again. "It's been days since you talked to me, you're always running away. I thought I was losing you too." Tears were brimming Lothar's eyes as he spoke. "It wasn't hurtful at first but after a day or so it started to hurt, not just in my heart but physically. I felt the same crushing sadness I felt after losing everyone else."
Khadgar reached over and put his hand on Lothar's shoulder. He couldn't even imagine the hurt and suffering the other was feeling. Khadgar had mourned the loss with him, but Lothar's relationship with Llane and Medivh was so strong they had been more like brothers rather than life-long friends. He had also lost someone he had sought comfort with before, Garona, Khadgar had also been hurt by her surprising betrayal. It all had crashed on Lothar in less than a year. "I'm still here." He squeaked out a surprise when Lothar pressed his face into Khadgar's chest. "What-"
"Just hold me alright?" Khadgar did just that. He listened for a long time about how Lothar's wife had died giving birth to Callan. About how he blamed Callan for his wife's death and how guilty it made him feel since his son was gone now too. How Callan never had the chance to truly live and how he felt it was his fault that Callan died and he should have made his son stay and protect Stormwind, then maybe he would still be alive. How he couldn't save his own friends. He had let Medivh and Llane die. He had failed his sister and her kids by not being there to protect their husband and father.
Khadgar rubbed Lothar's back, the warrior took a shuttering breath. The mage knew he was hiding tears but he wouldn't tease him over that. Lothar shifted, his face was now nuzzling Khadgar's neck. "And then there is you. I was so afraid I had lost you to the Fel after the fight with Medivh. I couldn't have handled your loss as well."
"There was nothing the Fel showed me that meant more to me than you did. It would haven't been the same. You were the first person who treated me like I wasn't just a pawn. That I mattered." It was Khadgar's turn to cry, the tears fell silently. "You gave me the strength to pull through, you were my light shining through the darkness."
Lothar pulled away from Khadgar's neck and they stared at each other for a moment. Their faces drew closer, lost in one another's eyes. It was Lothar that closed the gap between them with a gentle kiss. Khadgar melted and he kissed the warrior back. Much to the mage's disappointment, the kiss ended too soon. His heart was racing, the kiss had ignited a fire in him. "Anduin?" Lothar had slid back down to the mage's chest and nuzzled into it.
"I love you, Khadgar," muttered Lothar. The exhaustion from his emotions being laid out on the table combined with the alcohol still in his system finally consumed him and he passed out in Khadgar's arms.
Khadgar was speechless. He tried to pull himself away from Lothar, but he couldn't. He sighed and settled them as comfortably as he could. For the first time in his life, Khadgar didn't sleep alone.
Chapter Notes
Honestly, I didn't plan to write a second chapter but I needed a break from my other fic, I got stuck on it and this had been in my mind all day.
I was inspired by 2 songs for this chapter.
Rixton - Me and My Broken Heart
Disturbed - The Light
Also took some inspiration from icy-touch's tumblr post about Lothar needing hugs and cuddling!
This isn't beta'd yet I wanted to get it out of my system so if you notice any glaring mistakes please let me know!
