Everything was dark and cold, like Taylor was trapped beneath a heavy snowbank. An icy tendril of dread snaked itself around her heart and squeezed as a gut-wrenching scream echoed in the empty space around her. Then there were whispers, ghosts of words that were difficult to separate or discern, but the longer she hesitated, the louder and more insistent they became. With an almost painful tug in her heart, she recognized the voices of the other Avengers.
She called to them, trying to pinpoint where they were coming from, but it seemed as if they were everywhere. Her friends were in agony and the more she heard their cries the more desperate Taylor became to find them. Fear stole the breath from her lungs, froze the blood in her veins, as she realized her powers weren't responding to her. After all the time she'd spent wishing she'd never been born as she was, they abandoned her now?
"Taylor!"
She lashed out automatically even though her brain distantly registered that the voice was familiar and comforting. The person shouted, drew back. Another hand touched her, freezing cold, and she jerked, struggling harder to escape the dark.
"Taylor. It's just a dream. You're alright."
The voice was cool and calm, a beacon of light guiding her out of the blackness and Taylor clutched at it like a lifeline. When she blinked, she was staring up at the ceiling in her room in Asgard. It didn't take long for her brain to register the familiar scent of smoke, the sunlight just beginning to peak through the balcony windows. Her skin tingled with the feeling of her powers crackling at the surface.
Another nightmare. And the others saw.
Heart still hammering in her chest, Taylor's eyes focused on Loki leaning over her, brow furrowed, mouth quirked into a frown. He was clutching her hand, she realized, which was why she hadn't injured him in her sleep. Frost giant powers. But if she didn't hurt him who did she…?
She bolted into a sitting position, eyes scanning her concerned friends until they landed on Steve, cradling his hand close to his abdomen. Tears stung her eyes as he tried to hide the wound but it was too late.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered.
"It's no big deal," he said.
She shook her head, tucking her knees to her chest and shrinking away from Loki and the others. It had been years since she'd hurt someone accidentally. Why had they tried to wake her? She was dangerous. Didn't they know that by now? What if things had escalated and she'd…
"Hey."
She glanced at Bucky as he settled gingerly on the edge of the bed next to her. His eyes were gentle, understanding. Taylor knew he could more than empathize with her. The nightmares, the fear, the guilt, they were all things he had more than enough experience in. Still, she shied away when he held a hand out, palm up. It was the nonmetal one, the one she could injure, but he didn't relent.
"It's okay. Nightmares happen. We all understand," he said, "There's nothing wrong with you. You didn't lose control, see?"
He coaxed one of her hands from around her legs, smiling at her when she didn't burn him. She dissolved into tears then, pressing her face into his shoulder. Bucky glanced over her head at Loki, who didn't seem so much jealous as upset that he couldn't offer Taylor the same comfort. After a moment, she seemed to get herself under control and wiped at her eyes, pulling away with a watery smile.
"Thank you," she murmured.
He squeezed her arm gently before getting to his feet again. Taylor glanced at the rest of the group and realize, with relief, that only a few of the Avengers had witnessed her breakdown. Natasha was the only other person in the room with the friends Taylor had already seen.
"Come get some breakfast. You'll feel better if you eat something," she said.
Taylor nodded, accepting Loki's help in scooting off the bed and leaning into him as they walked to the dining hall. Apart from being an emotional wreck with a half-scorched bedroom, Taylor felt oddly…good. Sure, she was still kind of tired, but her injuries from the fight in Helheim had almost healed and Loki thought he had pinpointed the realm where Sigyn was trying to resurrect Keziah.
After she'd made herself a plate of food, the two settled on the steps, much like they had that first day in Asgard, except now she pressed her shoulder into his as they ate. By the time she was halfway through her meal, she was interacting as she usually did with the rest of the Avengers, and anyone that wasn't in the room with her this morning wouldn't have thought she'd had a nightmare at all.
It made Loki wonder how often they occurred. He remembered the night they'd gone to Greenland, how she'd appeared shaken in the kitchen, but he'd hardly noticed because he hadn't been as invested in her then as he was now. He didn't doubt that when she did have nightmares she didn't mention it to anyone, that she was very good at not saying anything at all.
"Stop staring," she said, "it's creepy. If you've got a question, just ask."
He almost did. He wanted to ask what haunted her in her dreams, what she kept from the others, and if it had anything to do with the scar in her eyebrow. If it had been a year ago, six months ago, almost any time before she'd come crashing into his life, he'd have asked without a second thought to her mental state. Things were different now, though. He had Steve Roger's words bouncing around in his skull.
"I'm not staring," he replied, "I just happened to be looking in your general direction while I was thinking."
She shot him an incredulous look, one eyebrow arching in a way that he vaguely thought was his thing, but he was a little lost in playful smile on her lips. If he'd been concerned things would be awkward or uncomfortable between them after Steve had caught them kissing, it would have been in vain. When he'd gone back to visit her in the hospital, she'd gladly picked up where they'd left off and now Loki was perpetually attempting not to stare at her mouth.
"Oh?" she asked, "And what were you thinking about, exactly?"
"Well…"
All heads turned to the doorway as Heimdall entered the room, his expression more grim than usual. He didn't usually leave his post unless the situation was serious and knowing this, Thor and Loki were immediately on their feet. His conversation with Taylor was immediately forgotten.
"What is it, Heimdall?" Thor asked.
He grimaced, golden eyes turning on Taylor with regret. She surged to her feet as well, knocking her plate over in the process. The staff was going to hate her for making a mess, and she spared a thought to apologize later, but she was more worried about why Heimdall was looking at her like that.
"I'm afraid…our enemies have captured your Midgardian family. They are with Sigyn now."
Taylor froze for a fraction of a second before she was bolting from the room, darting into the hallway and nearly overshooting her room. The rest of them were right on her heels, quickly changing into their uniforms. Steve was swiftly scraping together a plan as they rushed the trip to the rainbow bridge.
"It's Taylor she wants, so if you're up for it, Taylor, that's exactly what she'll get," he explained.
"Oh, I'm up for it," Taylor replied.
She was angry. Not so much because Sigyn has taken her family in the first place. They hadn't been good people and really, it served them right to be kidnapped a little. It was the fact that Taylor had to go save them, that she was forced into their orbit after being so happily separate from them that made her mad. And also, she owed Sigyn for the last fight.
She was going to get more of Taylor than she'd be able to handle.
The Bifrost dropped them in Svartelheim this time and Loki cast a spell to mask their presence as he led the way to the portal. The terrain was just as unforgiving and dismal as Taylor remembered it, but she found the grim landscape oddly matched her mood. Okay, so maybe the bits of gravel the wind was trying to hurl into her eyes wasn't appreciated; it wasn't like she'd never considered throwing rocks at people either.
"Taylor, you ready?" Clint asked.
There had been no joking or teasing or any of the usual pre-battle banter that the team usually indulged in to keep the mood light. They all understood the importance of this mission, even Loki, who didn't know the truth of Taylor's family like the others might have. Crappy as they might have been, they were still civilians in need of saving.
"Ready."
They entered at the same time, passing as a unit through the portal. The Avengers were greeted by a decrepit cylindrical tower like something out of a grim fairytale, complete with flashing storm clouds and dark atmosphere. Despite the pelting rain, torches burned on either side of the sole archway leading into the tower's interior. Taylor approached cautiously first, Loki right by her side until they reached the threshold of the door.
"There used to be a spell over this doorway, but it's been broken recently," he said.
He gestured to a rune carved into the stone at the peak of the arch, sporting a sizeable crack. There were a lot of cracks, Taylor thought as she glanced over the rest of the façade. The top half of the tower had collapsed entirely, while the bottom half didn't seem to be much better off.
"Guess this is where they imprisoned him in that story," she mused.
Behind them there was a terrific cracking sound, like the island of rock was splitting in half. A collection of bodies rose from the ground, not just fire giants, but clearly those from other dimensions as well. It didn't take more than a moment to realize they were dead. Or had once been dead?
Damn necromancy.
"I hate zombies!" Taylor grumbled.
The corpses immediately surged at the other Avengers, who'd hung back to take inventory of the area.
"Get out of here!" Steve shouted, "We'll be fine!"
Taylor was about to argue, worried about her friends against a battalion of the undead, but Loki urged her forward, through the doorway. All that greeted them was an ascending spiral staircase, lit intermittently by torches like the ones outside. It was unnaturally quiet, but Taylor didn't let that deter her as she quickly began up the steps.
"I hate stairs," she panted.
"Need a break?" Loki teased.
Taylor shot him a glare over her shoulder and nearly tripped up the next step. Damn old uneven architecture. It would be really pathetic if poor interior design was going to kick her ass.
"Why are you taking them two at a time?!" she demanded, "What are you trying to prove?!"
Nevertheless, she picked up the pace, muttering under her breath about gods with long legs.
When they reached what she thought had to be close to halfway, the staircase opened up into open air. She jerked back, confused that there was no visible floor beneath her feet. Below her, she could clearly see the other Avengers holding their own against the zombie minions. Loki nearly ran into Taylor's back at the sudden stop and peered over her shoulder to see what made her hesitate.
"It's a plane," he explained, "just an invisible floor."
She glanced at him dubiously over her shoulder, refusing to step across the surface.
"How far does it go?" she asked.
He glanced at the seemingly empty air directly in front of them with a grimace.
"I don't know."
Lovely. With a deep breath and high hopes that she wouldn't go splattering to an untimely death, Taylor charged through the opening, trying to gain her bearings without visible ground. Waiting on the other side of the opening to the stairs is a small legion of Sigyn's fire giant lackeys, Taylor's bound and gagged family, and Sigyn herself.
"Nice of you to finally join us," she called.
Taylor glared as Loki joined her at her side, her hands already beginning to heat up in preparation of a fight. Steve's orders were that Taylor specifically avoid direct contact with Sigyn, but that didn't mean she was any less inclined to punch the woman in the face. Accidents happen, she could say to Steve and he'd roll his eyes, sometimes there's no helping it.
"Just focus on getting your family," Loki said.
She nodded, taking a few steps back before leaping the distance over the opening to the stairs, landing directly on one of the fire giants and taking it to the ground. If Sigyn tried to hex her or something of the sort, Loki put an end to it quickly, if her cursing was anything to go by.
Taylor worked steadily away from her family, lest they get injured in the melee, but it was difficult keeping an eye on them and fighting at the same time. The Avengers had taught her well, but there was only so much she could do at one time, and Loki had his hands full dealing with Sigyn. This plane only worked one way, so the others couldn't even see her struggling. She'd just have to make do.
A wayward spell crashed into one of the fire giants, sending it into Taylor and the two flying. The fire giant seemed to finally find the edge of the plane because it went plummeting down to the ground below. Taylor yelped as she skidded half over the edge, her bottom half hanging over nothingness as she scrabbled for purchase.
It was nearly impossible with the rain from the storm clouds. She should have noticed it sooner, but the water was pooling on the plane and spilling over the edges. It would help her spot where the boundaries of the invisible floor were. If she didn't fall off now, of course.
"Shit, shit, shit," she gasped.
One of the fire giant's approached, apparently planning to kick her off the ledge, but she grabbed a hold of its leg and used the leverage to boost herself off at the same time it went lurching to the ground below. She was far from winning the battle, she realized when she saw the half dozen more minions approaching her. Loki seemed to be in a tight spot and Taylor needed space between her and the edge, so she sprinted the space and punched Sigyn across the face just as she was turning.
"In your face!" Taylor shouted.
Loki got to his feet and touched her shoulder in thanks as Sigyn picked herself up, touching her bleeding nose in outrage. Taylor thought she didn't look too pleased at being punched, but Taylor wasn't too pleased about the whole situation, so she figured this made them at least a little even.
"You think you two can defeat me?" she said, "Your friends are—"
"Right here."
And she blew up. Well, Tony blew her up…and she wasn't quite "blown up" but blasted by one of his hand beams. It was disappointing for Taylor too, but satisfying nonetheless. Below them, the mirage Avengers disappeared, Loki finally breaking the spell. The rest of the fire giants were quickly taken care of by the real Avengers. Sigyn, quickly realizing that she was outnumbered, disappeared with a sneer, leaving Taylor's family behind.
She immediately went and began untying her father, while Natasha and Clint released her brother and step-mother. They hauled the three to their feet just as the tower began shuddering beneath them. Through the invisible floor, Taylor could see the stone blocks separating crumbling, colliding with each other on the way down.
"Whatever magic was holding this place together is fading. We need to leave," Loki said.
The ones that could fly—or jump in the Hulk's case—quickly grabbed those that couldn't and took them through the portal as the structure crumpled. They landed in Svartalheim in tangles of limbs and bodies, but Taylor was a little surprised to find that they'd all gotten through relatively unscathed.
The team hugged and shouted in celebration for a successful and non-life-threatening mission, gigantic smiles plastered on their faces. Taylor practically launched into Loki's arms, her bad mood forgotten in the face of their triumph. When she pulls away, they both have to repress the urge to kiss in front of Heimdall and everyone, but thankfully Thor makes it easy by reminding them that need to return to Asgard.
Taylor notices her step-mother's mutinous look at the instruction to hold onto someone, but she's smart enough to keep her mouth shut as the Bifrost sends down its golden beam of light. The adrenaline of winning the battle mixed with the usual rush of interdimensional travel, and by the time their feet were touching solid ground, Taylor was giggling.
The return to the palace didn't take long, but the closer they got, the more her joy faded as she realized she'd have to speak to her family. Someone needed to explain everything to them and it would be best coming from someone familiar. A few of the staff led the rest of the Cadences to a room in the palace while Taylor hung back with the rest of the team to unwind for a moment in one of the common rooms.
"Alright, I have to go talk to them," she sighed.
This coming after having a sip of Thor's magical Asgardian tequila. He insisted it wasn't tequila, but she figured if he wasn't going to tell her the proper name for it, she could call it whatever she wanted. Thus—Asgardian tequila.
"Want us to come with you as some extra muscle?" Clint asked.
He flexed for show, and to her it was comical but Taylor realized that to anyone else it might be intimidating. None of the Avengers were anything to sneeze at, as nice and friendly as she knew they were. Brandy and Kyle had already proven they had little tolerance for people different from them. Heroes or no, Taylor was sure their presence wouldn't go over well.
"Nah, it's alright. I got all the muscle I need," she answered.
She flexed as well, mimicking him and drawing a laugh from the rest of the group as Tony slung an arm around her shoulders. He was probably a little buzzed, but Tony was such a happy drunk, and Taylor figured after everything recently he deserved to lose himself for a little while. It wasn't her job to police anyone's alcohol intake but her own. And maybe her brother's as long as he was in Asgard.
"Did you see Taylor today? She can handle anything," he said, before leaning close by her ear, "but seriously, I can remotely control one of the suits to go with you."
She shoved him off playfully, rolling her eyes. Truly, their concern was heartwarming, but this was a conversation that was admittedly long overdue and it needed to be had alone. They'd babied her long enough, she was sure. Time to hike up her big kid undies and face her past.
"I'll be fine, you guys," she said, "It's no big deal."
She was a little liar but no one called her out on it as she casually left the room, headed in the direction of her family's room. No, not her family, she reminded herself. Family wasn't supposed to treat her the way they had. Family was comforting her after nightmares, even when she burned them. Family was accepting her quirks and her insecurities and accommodating her when she couldn't get through her own mental obstacles. Family was the Avengers.
Taylor knocked twice, loudly. She was almost relieved when it was her father that called her in. As she entered, he was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the fire, but when he saw her, he shot to his feet immediately. He looked so much older than when she'd last seen him. His hair was so much grayer, the lines of his face deeper, and his eyes were sad. He looked…haggard.
"Taylor, my god. You've grown up so much," he said.
Kyle and Brandy were nowhere to be seen, but from the retching sounds coming from the bathroom, her brother was probably growing through withdrawal. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, ignoring the tangles she caught on the way.
"Yeah, it's been…four years? Five? It's been a long time," she replied.
He moved as if to hug her but she took a step back warily. The thing was, he'd never hit her. In fact, her father had done the best he could, but Taylor couldn't be near him. He'd let Brandy into their home, let Kyle drink, and left Taylor to deal with it all on her own.
"What's going on? Who was that woman and what did she want?" he asked.
Well at least he wasn't trying for a touching moment of familial reconnection. Taylor didn't think she'd be able to handle that. Not yet; maybe not ever. But this, business, this she could handle. More or less. She began explaining, hedging the story a little so that he'd be able to comprehend it and because some things were confidential.
She was so caught up in explaining that she didn't notice the sound of rushing water, signaling that her brother was undoubtedly washing up. Brandy appeared a moment later and as soon as she laid eyes on Taylor, a flip switched.
"This is all your fault. This is all because of you, you freak!"
She stormed across the room, and Taylor totally should have seen it coming but she was honestly a bit surprised when the slap came. Her cheek stung, eyes watering at how it smarted. She hadn't been slapped a lot. Punched, kicked, stabbed, sure, it was part of the job, but getting slapped wasn't quite normal.
Then all hell broke loose.
Well, Loki broke loose. From the wall. Where he'd been invisible—because apparently it was make-everything-invisible-on-Taylor-day—and he nearly launched on Brandy. Luckily, with the way Taylor's head snapped to the side, she saw him just in time and jumped in the line of fire—or frost, in this case.
"Loki, wait!"
His eyes were blazing with an anger she hadn't seen in him before. Something feral and protective and oddly intoxicating but also terrifying because Loki wasn't someone to be trifled with even on a good day. He nearly plowed right over her but thankfully stopped when he realized she wasn't going to relent.
"You can't hurt them; it won't help!" she said.
He shot her a look of disbelief, his next words hissed between his teeth.
"Why are you protecting them?"
Somehow she didn't feel the urge to shrink away. Maybe it was because she'd spent so much of her time not being intimidated by him, or maybe because they'd become so close she knew he wouldn't hurt her intentionally. Angry as he was, he wouldn't turn it on her.
"Because it would make us as bad as them," she replied.
That clearly wasn't a very valid reason to leave the Cadences in peace, considering he tried to move around her and she quickly had to grab onto his arm, pushing him back.
"Loki, c'mon, they're just stupid and scared. We should leave," she pleaded.
He clenched his jaw but finally relented, turning on his heel and storming from the room as Taylor quickly followed. Her room wasn't far from theirs, and she was a little surprised when he went there instead of continuing down the hallway, barging right through the door. She closed the door quietly behind her, but as soon as the latch clicked, he spun on her.
There was still uncomfortable heat in one cheek, and Taylor had no doubt there was an angry red mark glowing on her skin. Loki's eyes burned as he carefully guided her head to the side, inspecting it with a nearly murderous expression.
"I'm alright," she nearly whispered.
"Tell me."
She blinked at him uncomprehendingly. Had Brandy knocked something loose in her head? Did she just hear him right? Loki couldn't be asking what her mind immediately assumed he was asking about.
"What?" she asked.
"Tell me. Tell me what they did to you," he said.
Her breath caught in her chest at his demand. Taylor had never told anyone about what had happened in her childhood, even the times she'd wanted to. How was she supposed to tell him everything? What would he think of her when she did?
"I—it doesn't matter now. That was a long time ago," she answered.
It was weak and they both knew it. Her stomach sank as he took her shoulders in his hands, gentle but firm. If Taylor was inclined, she could have broken the hold and run from him, from her past as she always had. No one could really blame her if she did.
"It matters now, I don't care how long ago it happened," he insisted, "tell me."
She didn't pull away. She didn't want to run and hide in shame of her past anymore. If anyone would understand—could understand at all—it was probably Loki. And in a strange, roundabout way, she wanted to reveal all to him. It wasn't as if she'd thought she could hide it from him forever, after all. Swallowing past the lump in her throat, she told him everything.
