A/N: Immense gratitude to you all. May have angst, depending on who you are.


VI: NICO

In Time of Need

"Really? That would be a first. I'm the son of Hades, Jason. I might as well be covered in blood or sewage, the way people treat me. I don't belong anywhere. I'm not even from this century. But that's not enough to set me apart."

- Nico, in The House of Hades


I get that demigod dreams are horrible, most of the time. I've had my fair share of them ever since I first met Percy. When I fell into my nightmare, though, it may be the worse one I ever experienced. It made me deal with emotions and feelings that I wanted to leave behind...

All my life, I've been in darkness. The shadows will never leave me completely. They made me who I was.

When I used them, my emotions were erupting. I could never do anything to harm Percy. I couldn't. He stared at me, trying to figure me out. Trying to uncover me, piece by piece. Those sea-green eyes, beautiful and haunting in my mind. Forever.

"Do you not blame what cannot be prevented," my sister once said. "Do not be angry at yourself, or anyone else. It won't do any good, Nico. Use what you have to show that you are better than the other person."

At that time, I had hated my father that I knew nothing of. How could he leave his family? Something that was supposed to hold, and not be replaced.

But Bianca's words worked in similar situations.

With all consuming anger, fear, and pure terror, I ran away from the son of Poseidon. No. I hate and love him, both at once.

How could someone so oblivious and innocent be tossed into this dark world? The entire world was filled with the same darkness that I carried, and it would stay like a plague, for eternity.

There was no end to death. I saw, heard, and could smell it all the time. Grief, mourning, and loss. And then you had to move on, like a cycle. How many people needed to suffer?

A part of me thought that life was cruel. How you place yourself in the world somewhere, and work for all your life. Find somebody that completes you, and reproduce.

That only happened to the successful people, though. People who were like me, broken, had to fight and struggle to make it out in their place. To know the simple truth: that everything was pointless. Why would we care about appearances, popularity, and status

when in fact, we will fade away. Whether it was old age to a bite from a poisonous snake, the events made us replaced with something new. A new generation.

Most will think those were cynical thoughts. From some moody kid who knew nothing. But while they could go in denial, at some point we must figure out that some people don't have purposes. Mistakes happen many times. Each person was given a chance, but once you messed-up, everything could go wrong.

My chance ended long ago, when my sister died. No place to stay, I had to keep on moving. But there was no true home.

Flashes of scenes passed through my eyes. As I walked dizzyingly around, trying to capture each one, they jumbled together.

Percy telling me that Bianca was dead. Me running away.

Going in the labyrinth. Trying to hold on to everything I had left.

Blue birthday cakePercy.

Seeing my dad...

Finding Hazel, who I could finally talk to and treat like a sister.

Meeting Percy again, who forgot all but Annabeth. But he recognized me.

Going through the Doors of Death, draining all of me to the nearest part.

Being trapped in the jar, surviving on pomegranate seeds. Waiting for someone—Percy—to help me. Even though it helped me to blame him, he was the one that I wanted. To save me. To be my hero. When he did come, it was all so confusing and frustrating. Yet I was beyond relieved.

How could he do everything he can, to save and protect? Going to extreme lengths to never face the dreaded deaths. We were like opposites. He was life. I was death. He was the ever burning flame of hopeand that was what matter most. That was what I needed.

But I still endured through those moments. The only possession I truly owned was the skull ring. And that was the only thing that made me want to live. For Bianca. And maybe, just a bit, for Percy Jackson.


As I opened my eyes, not sure if I was crying or not, I saw Percy and Jason talking. They didn't notice I was awake, however, as they talked.

"How could you? You know how Nico feels about you, man!" Jason chided.

"I know, but I really like him." Percy looked down at his shoes for a moment before swinging his gaze to me. I pretended to sleep, and saw his mouth quirk up in a tiny smile. "Did you know, Jason, that Nico was a annoying kid back then? He definitely changed."

Jason lowered his voice. "I wonder how much he faced. He seems so young to fight. You know, it's unfair for him to get in death situations."

"May I remind you that at his age, I fought many monsters in the Labyrinth? Well, he was also in the maze . . . I disagree with you, though. I know that Nico can face anything. I think he's stubborn, and refuses help."

"Back to the subject at hand, Jackson. I don't think kissing him helps anything. Or at least trying to."

"It was in the moment! I mean, it was a classic move. I wonder if Nico ever kissed anyone before."

No, I thought. You were my first. I decided to help Percy out, since Jason's face looked like he was deciding between punching or admonishing the water-bender. "Jason?" I mumbled. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, just visiting you." The blond gave me a sympathetic gaze. "Are you okay? I heard you blacked-out. Will said when you wake up, you have to drink lots of water and not use your powers for, like, a week."

"Yay." I winced as I tried to sit up. The bed underneath me was uncomfortable. I noticed that I had three pillows underneath my head.

"Are you comfy?" Percy asked me anxiously. "I have extra pillows."

"Nah, I'm fine."

Jason passed me the cup of water, and I received it, sipping. My mouth tasted bad, and I wondered if I could go brush my teeth.

"Three days is a lot," Percy observed.

I nearly choked. "What?"

"Um, you were out for three days, Nico."

"That's impossible. I can't be."

Percy and Jason exchanged a look. They seemed to be making a silent agreement.

"Okay, Nico," Percy said. "We definitely need to talk."

. . .

When Jason left the room, I had déjà vu of this moment. When it was only Percy and I.

I thought this was what I wanted. But maybe not.

We avoided each other's glances. Percy tapped his fingers distractingly against his leg. It was an off-sync beat - clumsily matching the beat of my own heart. "Nico," he blurted out, "are we all good? I mean, you don't seem to . . . to like me."

I scowled. "I thought we clarified our feelings already. I told you that you should have left, but you didn't."

"I'm really sorry. But you know by now that I won't go away. You can be all tough, but everyone needs someone." He had a faraway look in his eyes, as if telling the advice from the heart.

"I guess I'm used to not having someone," I said, allowing myself to be honest. "Honestly, I don't make myself all open like a book."

"So, then you're a closed book?"

"It depends on what you mean by that. But I guess so, yeah. Would you love that people could know your simple things, such as favourite colour, or food, or animal? Those details don't matter to people you hardly ever meet. People greet each other with 'hello' to be polite. And then they start a conversation, like they're friends. It's pointless."

"Whoa, I don't start chatting about what movie I watched last night to strangers," he protested. "You seem pretty pessimistic—sorry, dumb observation - but people like talking. They want someone to be interested, to understand them."

"Do you understand me, then?"

He searched my eyes. "I'm still figuring out. I know when you started to change, though. How you collected bitterness. That doesn't make you less than you already are, Nico. You will always be the same person I saw years ago."

I inclined my head. "So, you're saying I'm foolish?"

"I meant energetic, upbeat, and always excited, despite everything going on. Maybe you've grown up. But there's still that spark in you. The one that lights up your whole face, when you smile. And to me, you are worth dying for - probably a thousand times, just to see you smile the same way you used to. For you to know that there's hope, and everything will be okay."

"No, I'm not worth anything," I said. "S-Stop trying to be nice." Before it's too late. Before you can see that I will only disappoint you.

"Nico . . . you are worth everything," Percy promised. "Why can't you just see that?"

Because my faith died out a long time ago. Because I just can't. Instead I forced a smile that probably looked worn out. "I want Will," I said.

"Y-Yeah. I'll get him for you." As Percy stumbled out, I may have imagined it, but he looked crestfallen.

I rubbed my eyes. When I heard footsteps, I quickly glanced up, and saw Will.

"Hey, Nico. I heard you called for me. Are you okay?"

"No," I said. "Definitely not."

Will gave an understanding nod. "Do you want to talk—oh, wait. Is this yours?" He scooped something off the ground, and handed out to me a card.

I sucked in a breath. Even though it was just a thin piece of cardboard, it was so much more. "Where is Percy?" I thought he was supposed to come back.

"He already left. Said something about 'sometimes I feel useless'. . ." I started to move out of bed, but the Healer held my arm back. "Nico! You have to rest."

"Please, Will. I was being so stupid, and now I have to be there for him. I already ran away. I promised myself I won't again. I can't break that promise."

Will hesitated. For some reason, there was pain in his eyes. He gave a small smile. "Go ahead, Nico. I hope you two will end up together. You deserve to be happy."

"Thank you."

Sometimes I wondered why I bothered to let my feelings get in the way of things. I knew I messed-up.

But didn't Cupid warn you? My inner voice reminded me. And so you run away again, from your friends, from yourself.

"No," I whispered. That was something that made me more determined to face whatever was coming.

It was difficult to track the son of Poseidon down. When I had finally made my way out of the infirmary, there were demigods outside, distracting me. The way they all laughed, cheerful, some having a water balloon fight. Water—Percy. Percypercypercy. Percy Jackson.

And then, I saw him. He was alone, making his way to the water. The lake.

Strange enough, I never saw him look this way. How he looked torn: eyes blurred with tears. Then I registered why I never had. He was crying, slowly tearing to pieces.

Just like me.

"Why did you leave?" I shouted.

"I should be asking you that question." Percy walked closer to me cautiously, as if I was about to run away. I won't. My feet were grounded, not moving anywhere. His eyes were rimmed red, but he didn't cry. He didn't want anyone to know. "I thought you wanted Will instead. . ."

That sentence was confusing. I didn't know which type of 'want'—referring to the romantic notion or would like at that time."Yes, I wanted to talk to him," I said carefully. "But I want you." Gods. Did that sound dirty?

Percy brightened, his sea-green eyes sparkling. He was truly beautiful. Real and human and breath-taking. Especially when he was crying, I think, because it was innate and made me know that everyone one of us needed someone or something. "So, Jason thinks I'm playing with you. I'm not. It's just that I really like you more than a friend, and I think I always did. It's just that I never realized it, especially since I was with Annabeth."

"We shouldn't rush into anything. First, we have to know if we want to commit to each other. Then maybe we can hang out, go on dates . . . and then we can determine where we are."

"Yes, I want to commit to you, Nico," he said. "And it's okay that we do it slowly. These past years were a blur."

"Do you want to just talk? I mean, are you fine with people seeing us?" This was a question that made me quite nervous, given that Percy had a huge reputation—I might make him fall down.

"Of course I am." Percy shook his head. "If anyone is disgusted, or doesn't like us dating, I'll kick their butts with Riptide. You are what makes me happy, so they should understand that. They will understand."

It may have looked odd, because we both just stood staring. For ten minutes at the most.

My breath hitched, which may have been a signal. He gently slid his lips over mine tentatively. It was a soft gesture, one that didn't need an explanation. I kissed back, feeling my spine tingle, the sensation traveling through my whole body. This was what I wanted. He gave a small gasp. I wondered if he felt a reaction similar to mine.

"Percy," I mumbled, breaking apart. "Do you—I mean –?" Do you love me? Do you want someone as messed-up as me to stay around? My words were stuck in my throat, unable to speak.

"Nico di Angelo," he whispered. "You are loved."