Chapter 4

Clara opened the doors to the diner and invited the Doctor inside. He pretended to be busy with his screwdriver and didn't bother to look at her even for a moment. Frankly, she was grateful he was silent. She wasn't certain of how to speak to him in the first place.

It all was quite awkward, being in the same room with him. The person in front of her might've looked like someone who knew her best, although he felt like total stranger.

"Calibrating the screwdriver, eh?" She asked him merrily, but there was a waver in her voice.

"Yeah, calibrating." He smiled at her politely.

She smiled back and approached him, but only a few steps, afraid to encroach on his personal space.

"Do you have any new settings?" She asked with genuine interest in her voice.

The Doctor, however, didn't give her a similar level of attention. His eyes left hers and refocused on the device in his hands.

"No, not really." He mumbled.

"Okay." She whispered quietly, a bit disappointed with the quick loss of contact between them.

After a moment of an uneasy silence, he burst out laughing.

"Sorry, but it's just so," He chuckled. "I imagined this moment for so long, but I don't know what to say. And I had everything planned. Believe me, I really did."

His confession gave her mixed feelings.

Clara remembered that there were reasons beyond their control that forced them to part the way they had. Starting from scratch would not change any of it, but only break their hearts all over again.

On the other hand, a part of her was hoping that it wasn't over yet. That side of her was proud of the Doctor and his love for her, and claimed to be the guardian of the memory of him. The memory of the man whose love was too big to live on.

"And how did you imagine it? "She questioned him with a gleam in her eye.

He was thought about it for a moment, then a shy smirk appeared on his face.

"I've always dreamed that we would have some tea and cake."

"Cake?" Now it was her turn to giggle.

"Or a soufflé." He was laughing with her. "I don't know why, but it's the first thing that comes to mind."

"Well, we don't have much time, but I have some Earl Grey in my kitchen cupboard. Wanna give it a try?" Clara suggested. The Doctor smiled and nodded.

"That would be great."

He sat comfortably on one of the stools while she retrieved two porcelain cups from one of the cupboards and started to prepare beverages behind the bar.

"Usually we don't use it." She was entertaining him while her hands were busy with the coffee maker.

"There is another kitchen inside the Tardis. Likely more than one if you look for them, but we have one that is our kitchen. However, this one has a coffee maker, which is really good. So maybe we'll make an exception today."

"It would work for a coffee, but will it make the tea any better?"

"Probably not." She gave him her best smile as she passed him a mug with the steaming tea inside. His large hand wrapped around the mug as he took a deep breathe in, inhaling the scent of the tea she had prepared for him. His other hand snuck over to the sugar cubes and placed a few inside his cup as well.

"Although, we can compare it with the options I have in my kitchen if you want to." Clara said.

"Maybe some other time. Of course, if Ashildr doesn't install security cameras."

"Why are you so stuck on her?"

"Do I really have to explain? For example, she captured me and killed you."

Clara sighed and looked into her tea.

"They blackmailed her."

A hearty scoff left his mouth as she said that. He straightened from his slouching position, looking like a miffed cat as he glared at her.

"And they blackmailed you. But somehow I haven't seen you setting traps on others." The Doctor snorted.

The levity left her face at the sound of his words. She kept her eyes down, not brave enough to face him.

"Instead, I kill everything I touch." She whispered under her breath. Some of the recent events still felt like a bad dream to Clara. Just a month ago everything was perfectly fine. She and Ashildr were simply travelling and having the time of their lives. The image of Wetania, the first planet ravaged by the ancient spirits of Lua was before her eyes each time she closed them.

"Tell me something about your travelling." He asked after taking a long swig from his mug.

"Sorry?" She questioned him, totally distracted.

"Have you seen anything interesting?"

"Yes, sorry. I did, sort of." She said in humiliation. "I've finally seen the Waterfalls of Rucrara."

"Why would you go there?" He joked and pretended agitation. "I've never seen anything so underwhelming."

"Actually, I've read some pretty good reviews."

"Written by whom? Because I doubt anybody sane would've said something nice about them. A tacky attraction for the brainless masses."

"But you still went." She teased him. He rose his glass to her slightly.

"I still went."

His comment made them both titter again.

After a moment, Clara went silent and a serious expression appeared on her face. She seemed to enjoy their conversation, but it was quite obvious by the way she looked at him that her thoughts were drifting away towards something that wasn't as inconsequential as the quality of the tea they were drinking or places they've been to recently.

"Can I ask you a question, Doctor?" She whispered, as if what she was about to ask him was a crime.

"Sure! Today is all about questions."

"You knew that I was a bad influence on you, but you still wanted to see me. Despite the bad things that happened to you because of me, you didn't let it go. Why?"

"Maybe I just like mysteries."

"You're such a terrible liar." She chuckled. "I have a proposition. You're going to answer honestly and in exchange I'll tell you something you want to know about me. Doesn't matter how confidential."

"It's stupid, but fine."

"It's not stupid at all. Can I ask you first?"

"I guess so. I wanted to know what you are like." He told her tenderly with a bit of embarrassment in his voice.

"Everyone I met after the neural block kept saying how brilliant you were, how kind and good-hearted. I haven't heard a bad word about you or about our friendship. For some time I doubted you exist." He laughed, but then a sad expression covered his face

"But then I started to feel that maybe they were feeling sorry for me. That my not remembering you was a curse."

"It's not a curse, it's a responsible choice." She interrupted him.

He looked at her and gave her a sad smile.

"Alas, I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe at first it was. Since you threw away the device, I'll never be able to remember you again."

"I don't understand."

"The neural block breaks synapses between neurons. Another electrocution would likely reverse the effect."

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I swear I'd kept it if I'd known." She apologized.

"No worries." He comforted her. "It was pointless anyway. Is there anything you particularly miss since you were extracted?"

"Dreams." She said without hesitation. "I still can become unconscious if I want to, but I can't dream anymore. Dreams were amazing. They make you forget about the wrong stuff for some time. You can do impossible things, or see people that are already gone. Not being able to sleep is a nightmare. Believe me."

"Sorry to hear that." The Doctor gave her a kind smile.

"I was always curious of how the life of someone extracted would look like. We were talking quite a lot about it in school. One of the most advanced technologies, etc. But, how are you dealing with it? You know, on an everyday basis?"

"Every cloud has a silver lining. I don't have to eat or sleep, nor can I. My metabolism basically isn't working anymore, so I had to restrict my eating habits a little."

"But you drank entire cup of tea?"

"Yeah, about that." She giggled.

"What's going to happen next?" He asked her intrigued. "Your body won't digest it. So, what's going to happen with it?"

She nervously shook her head in embarrassment.

"I won't say anything more. Let a girl keep her secrets. Besides, it's not the best topic to talk about during evening tea."

He took the last sip of the tea and got up from his seat. "Excuse me for changing the subject. I need to get to somewhere. Could I use your Tardis since we're here already?"

"Deal, but you'll take me with you."

"There are creatures after you, remember?"

"Is the place you're going in future?"

"Yes."

"They can't travel in time, so our being there won't change a thing as long as they're defeated on Earth."

"You'll only get bored." He moaned.

"I don't think so." She teased him. "Besides, how can I know that you're planning to give it back?"

"You can always take mine if I don't show up."

Clara opened the doors to the console room and leant on them in an inviting gesture.

"Still not convinced. Sink or swim." She asked playfully.

"Fine." The Doctor groaned in response and followed her inside.

She was standing next to him and watched him setting the coordinates. Once the rotor of the machine started to move, he turned around and gave her the stink eye.

"Has anyone already mentioned how annoying you are?"

"You have no idea how often."

They landed in an unknown, gray and sandy desert. The Doctor, however, seemed to be perfectly aware where he was and took the lead. Clara followed him in silence for miles before the first buildings of the nameless city arose before their eyes. The sandstone edifices seemed to be forgotten by time itself. They stood miserably among heavy dunes as the tears of sorrow streamed down from holes where the windows once used to be.

The memorial of the lost fight between man and nature terrified and astonished Clara at the same time. She fruitlessly looked for a sign of any life forms, but her eyes didn't come across anything.

Her attention focused once again on the man in front of her, lost in his thoughts since they had left her Tardis. She didn't feel like talking either, but an explanation was necessary.

"Doctor?" She asked him firmly. "Why have you brought us here?"

"I'll tell you later." He answered her, still preoccupied with the compass in his hands. "Now we need to find the Lion."

"What lion? And you still didn't explain to me what that thing in your hand is."

"It's a compass, Clara. I think you have similar contraptions on Earth. Although this one is a little bit advanced." He said as if she were a mere child.

"Why do you need it? Are we looking for something?"

"We don't have time for that." He hissed, irritated with her sudden questions. His thin fingers were rotating the device.

"No, Doctor." She stated firmly. "You're going to tell me why you made me walk for miles or I won't move an inch from where I'm standing now."

He stopped and stared at her questioningly.

"Don't be ridiculous." He dismissed her after a moment. "You wouldn't be able to survive in the middle of desert for long."

"The heat doesn't bother me." She told him proudly. "See, I acquired some very useful traits."

"Sorry, I forgot you're invincible." He pretended to be offended. "Although it doesn't change a thing. You would get bored after five minutes without the other chatterbox. What was her name?"

"No, I wouldn't." She rebutted and sped up a little to outrun him.

"I think you overestimate yourself. Maybe not five minutes, but after an hour…" He kept beating the air as he argued with her. "Oh, I wouldn't want to be there."

"You're so wrong here." She turned around and smiled at him. "And for the record it's called interpersonal skills."

Unbeknownst to the arguing pair, they had reached the city and were now walking down the streets that had been buried under thick layers of gray sand. Clara appreciated the facilities in front of her. They looked majestic from the distance, but seeing them up close and personal made her treasure them even more. They definitely didn't look like any of the architecture styles she had seen recently. There was something truly humbling and captivating in their robustness.

And then she noticed a huge flowery mosaic on one of the walls. One she would never forget about. The day she had first seen was one of the worst days in her entire life.

She and Ashildr were having a casual Sunday picnic. This time it was Clara's turn to pick the destination. She was wanting to visit someplace beautiful and serene, so she decided on Anima Persis, also known as Wetania: a planet with a population of around 100,000 localised on the most external arm of Triangulum Galaxy.

The afternoon had passed peacefully and they came back to their Tardis shortly after the pink sun disappeared behind the horizon. Clara had just changed into more comfortable clothes and joined the other woman in the console room, when they both got very appalling news. It was the first time the Luas had attacked.

Their thirst for blood cost the life of every man, animal, and plant on this planet. A planet once bursting with life with orchards and forests that were changed into a bare and haunted desert. The mosaic that once decorated the wall of the school was now a painful reminder that everything has its price.

To make things even worse, the Universe never learnt about what really happened here. According to every book she ever found, the place was destroyed by Talichre. Hardly anyone knew that beneath the flesh of the invaders hid something creepier.

Clara came closer to the mosaic and laid her hand on it, unable to hold in her tears any longer. She knew exactly what happened, but it was the first time she had seen a palatable evidence of their wicked actions.

"Oh, this is fantastic." She heard the Doctor saying as he bounced between the dunes.

"What is fantastic?"

"Not the right word, sorry. We're stepping on the ashes. "

He crouched down and took a handful of dust from the ground.

"You may not believe it, but no one decided to cover this planet with sand one day. It's all remnants. Not enough to run genetic tests, but enough to keep it on the shelf above the fireplace."

"You're amused." She accused him.

"No, not amused. Wrong word again."

"You walk among the ashes of innocent people who died in a battle that wasn't even theirs to fight, and you're having a great time."

"I'm trying not to get super emotional." He told her as he put some of the powder in a plastic bag.

"It's something you should get super emotional about, Doctor. You know what…" She told him bluntly as she sat on the stone stairs leading to one of the buildings. "You're going to finish whatever you're doing and I'll stay here."

Clara didn't speak a word more, but observed his movements in uneasy silence.

They didn't speak on their way back to her Tardis. She was aware that expecting the Doctor to behave like one of her kind was wishful thinking.

On any other occasion, she would've been ecstatic with his enthusiasm and positive attitude towards her. Ever since they moved into the farm, he hadn't given her a single reason to dislike him.

What he did today, however, caught her off guard. He took her to a place that reminded her about her most recent and painful memories, and then was disrespectful not only towards her, but also the people who had lost their lives that day when the Luas attacked. And worst of all was that he didn't seem to know that he had disappointed her.

Once they entered the machine, she immediately asked him to bring them back to Ashildr. It didn't take long and they were back in Brittany, exactly in the same place they left from, the Doctor noted proudly.

He approached the exit and turned around to look at her, when he realised that she wasn't following him. His questioning eyes were fixed on hers.

"Is everything alright?" The Time Lord asked her. "You were suspiciously quiet during our entire way back."

Clara put her both hands on her hips and gave him an icy stare.

"I guess I was."

"Was there a particular reason?" He asked her with an apologetic smile on his face.

"Your jokes on Anima Persis. They were not appropriate." The Doctor's face turned serious.

"I wasn't joking."

"I heard you!" She screamed at him. Clara pulled herself together after a moment and continued calmly. "It wasn't Talichre, but me who killed all those creatures. The worst is that it happened just because I'm alive. And you treat them like lab rats in front of me."

The Doctor stared at her utterly disoriented with his hands hanging limply from both sides of his torso.

"I'm sorry."

"Can I have a minute to myself?" She asked him tired of explaining. He nodded in understanding and left the Tardis.

A/N: Thank you for reading my story. I would also like to thank Talk With Your Hands and DreamingCompanion for their help in making my writing work.

Anima Persis is a world featured in Death Comes to Time. The planet was turned into a wasteland when an alien invader attacked it. Talichre, the species that ravaged Anima Persis then came to Earth with exactly the same intentions in late 20 century.