Disclaimer- I don't own Inuyasha, or the song/artist used.
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I was laying in bed thinking of all the events that had happened today. I found that Inuyasha may like me more than a friend, he knows some of the pain I was going through, and that there still might be hope for me. Hope, that's a thing I haven't had since they died. When they died, they took my hopes and dreams with them, and now the only thing I have left, is my thoughts and feelings.
I was thinking about what Inuyasha said, to let people heal your wounds from your past. What does that mean? He sounds like a fortune cookie, the ones that never make sense to you or anyone else, but then one day you finally found out what they mean, and it's too late to care.
I turned on my IPod and clicked on suffel songs. The song that came on described almost exactly how I felt, and reminded me of so much. I sang along with the song letting all my thoughts fade away for that moment.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I'm okay but that's not what gets me
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and i'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret
But i know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that i left unspoken
What hurts the most, is being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I'm okay but that's not what gets me
What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
And never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what I was tryin to do
As the song ended I got up from my bed and went over to my desk. I picked up my phone.
"Hello?" Asked the voice from the other line.
"Hi. Can you come over?"
"Yeah, what for?"
"I need to talk to someone." I told him as we said bye and hung up.
In about 5 minutes the doorbell rang. I ran down stairs and opened the door.
"Angel, what's wrong?" Inuyasha asked me as he saw me tear streaked face.
"My past. I have to tell someone. You were right...keeping it inside is bad, it just hurts more."
We went upstairs and we sat on my bed.
"Just calm down and tell me what's bothering you."
"Koga, mom, dad...I miss them so much."
"I know, it's hard." He picked me up and put me in his lap as he held me. "Just start from the begining, I'm here to help you." He held me tighter to his chest as I cried harder.
"Naraku killed them right in front of my very eyes...to get revenge."
I know I already told him this but he listened contently as I continued.
"He was after the jewel. I tried everything to get rid of it, but I couldn't...not with out him getting it. I was so unhappy, at least intill I met Koga. I despised him at first...He had everything, looks, friends, girls fawning over him, popularity and to top it all of, money." I said still sobbing. "Koga, he was used to getting any girl he wanted, but when I turned him down...he made it his life mission to at least get me to flirt with him. As we became friends, I began to like him more and more, and soon I accept to become his girlfriend. He helped me with everything from the jewel and Naraku, to school. He was indeed my life, and I loved him more than anything. My parents enjoyed his company and let him come to our home anytime like family."
I started crying harder into Inuyasha's chest, just thinking of the next part I had to tell him.
"I know you're not done yet, but can I ask you a question?" I nodded. "Why did you pick me to tell me all this?"
"'Cause you would listen." I replied simiply.
"And nobody else would?"
"I tired telling my grandfather my pain, but he said to suck it up and get stronger from the whole thing." My voice started to crackle.
"It's okay Angel." He rubbed my back his other hand holding me into him. "What happened next?" He asked soothingly.
"Naraku, he found out about Koga, and he said that he would kill Koga if he stayed around me."
"Did you tell Koga?"
"Yeah."
"What did he say?" Inuyasha asked.
"That he didn't care, being with me could heal anything Naraku did." I sighed through my tears. "He knew how to make me feel better. He knew everything about me, somethings that nobody besides him knew. Koga...he was someone special" I told him, not wanting to say the rest.
"He must have been, to have someone like you love him."
"You're one of my best friends, and I love you for that." I said hearing how jealous he was sounding.
"Angel, what happened to the jewel?" He said, I could see a faint blush on his cheeks.
"I...still have it." I confessed.
"But Naraku-"
"I hid it, in a place only Koga and I know of." I clarified.
"Won't he come after you still thought?"
"I told him that if he did...I would never tell him where I hid it, and he would be searching the earth forever."
"What else happened?"
"I ran away...I could have stayed in my old house, with the shrine keeper...but I wanted to get as far away as possible, so I came here."
Inuyasha held me from him and looked into my teary eyes.
"Angel...Don't cry...It'll only get harder to let go...You can't forget them...but you can accept that they're gone, and hope they're in a better place." He told me seriously.
"Thank you Inuyasha, for understanding."
"Angel, can I ask you something?" Inuyasha asked.
"Yeah."
"Do you still love Koga?"
"I do. I will always love him...I will always love all of them, but I'm willing to let go and move on...but I'll still love them." I told him my tears slowing.
"That's good." He hugged me to him again.
I felt so warm and safe in his arms, just like I did with Koga.
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Two Months Later.
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Two months had passed since I told Inuyasha everything...well almost everything. After I told him, I went back to not speaking. Two long months with out saying a word.
I was getting ready for school and soon headed out the door. Once at school I went to the front doors but was stopped by Inuyasha.
"Angel, are you okay? You look sick." He noticed.
I wasn't feeling very well, and ever since I stopped talking again he's been very protective of me, not pushing me to talk, knowing what I was going through. Inuyasha called my state the 'drepression state' and told others to bug off if they bothered me. In a way it was nice, he was looking out for me and I respected that.
I shook my head in a sign for no. I wrote something on a piece of paper and gave it to him.
"I haven't been feeling well lately." He read. "Angel, can you come to my house after school. We need to work on the project, that's the whole reason I was looking for you. If you don't feel well enough that's okay."
Inuyasha and I were paired up in social studies for a history assignment. The teacher said he paired us together because, Inuyasha could comunicate with me when no one else could. In a way, Inuyasha was my voice. He told others what I was feeling when I wouldn't, because I wouldn't talk.
I wrote 'okay' on the paper and headed to class. I just needed to get through the day.
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I promise you they will get together soon! And for those of you who wanted to know, they will find out her real name soon too so don't worry. Anyway hope you liked it!
Kagome126
