Photo credit to Zero-Chan
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You can call me Taichou (I'm joking.)
AM KONOHAMARU!
Naruko Uzumaki, container of the Kyuubi, looked fantastic. She was facing the wrong way, but she looked over her shoulder in the perfect 'cool pose'. She had stayed up late the previous night thinking of what she would do for her shinobi profile picture. The camera still hadn't flashed so she began to glare.
Genzō was a photographer. He didn't like it when foolish genin brats decided to make foolish genin pictures. He sighed, "You...want me to take a picture with you looking like that?" He raised an eyebrow, genin these days.
Naruko turned around and nodded vehemently, "Yeah, go for it!" She went back into her 'cool pose', making sure to smirk and not smile. She heard Genzō muttering under his breath. The camera flashed. She looked at the picture, and was quite impressed. Her hair was blowing in the wind, headband shining proudly, and her eues held a mischievous twinkle. It was perfect.
Sarutobi Hiruzen sat in one Umino Iruka's classroom, reviewing one particular kunoichi's profile. He sighed, he should have expected something like this from the prankster. He had to admit though, the picture looked good. It just wasn't professional.
Naruko sat before them, a grin on her face. "Whaddaya think? It was hard getting the right expression. It took three hours last night to figure out what I was gonna do!" She laughed, "After all, it isn't something an ordinary shinobi would do...but with my artistic vision-" Hiruzen had slammed his hand on the table.
"Take it over, Naruko. The current one doesn't give a positive image to the village." She stuck her tongue out and shook her head. "In any case, the secret dossiers in the yearbook are an essential intelligence resource for Konohagakure village, so to present a photo like this..."
Naruko exclaimed, "Oiroke no Jutsu!" A naked, 20 year old Naruko pushed her breasts together, "Are you sure, Hokage-sama? Surely you could...make an exception...just this once?" She fluttered her eyelashes. The Hokage flew backwards with a massive nose bleed. He crawled back into his chair as Naruko changed back.
Naruko frowned as she saw a small blue glow of chakra, "Jiji, there is a little boy behind the door." Said door creaked open slowly. She watched curiously and the little boy she had sensed jumped into the room. He was short and had spiky brown hair, a weird helmet, a yellow shirt with the leaf symbol, and a ridiculously long blue scarf. It had to be twice his height in length.
The boy jumped into a very messy taijutsu stance. Not that Naruko had much room to speak. "On guard Jiji!" He exclaimed, "Right!" Naruko was struggling to contain her laughter. Than a tall shinobi with weird spectacles walked into the room.
"Aha! I have found you!" The boy tripped on his own scarf. He yelled out in pain.
"Owwww." The boy jumped up and pointed dramatically, "I get it! It's a trap!"
The tall man looked panicked, "Are you alright, honorable grandson?!" He adjusted his spectacles, "And for the record there are no traps here!"
Naruko looked to the Third Hokage in disbelief, "What the hell is going on? Is this a joke? Who's the kid?!" The little boy looked at her like she was crazy not to know who he was.
The tall man was muttering under his breath, "You!? Don't tell me it's...our village's disgrace...nine..." He coughed.
The little boy pointed at Naruko, "Aha, so you tripped me! It was you, right?!" Naruko was annoyed. She picked him up by the scarf, looked into his eyes, and lifted her other arm.
"You tripped over your own scarf you stupid little boy!" The tall man glared at her, and she glared back.
"Unhand him Naruko! That happens to be the grandson of our revered lord, the Third Hokage!" He adjusted his spectacles. She looked closely at the boy, and then at the Hokage. She decided she didn't care, dattebayo!
Sarutobi Konohamaru had run away from his 'Master Four-Eyes.' He wanted to take the stupid hat from Jiji! So that's were he went. When he charged inside, very gallantly he might add, he found a blonde girl talking to Jiji and use an attack that took him down. So he continued to run, until he tripped on his scarf- er, got tripped by the girl. He accused her, and she grabbed him. But after she learned who he was, she stopped. So, Konohamaru smirked. They always did this once they found out he was the Hokage's grandson. She must be afraid of him, like Master Four-Eyes and everybody else. Heh.
Uzumaki Naruko was pissed off. Who did this little brat think he was? She'd show him and his pompous little ass. With that in mind, she punched the top of his head. "Like I give a shit who you are, you little brat!" Konohamaru whined in pain. Ebisu was practically boring holes into her skull, and Jiji looked somewhat amused. A job well done.
Naruko was walking down the street, and the brat was following her. "Argh you stupid little brat! Stop following me!" He was hidden behind a wooden plank blanket, much like her own...but it was sideways, and she could sense chakra. "That is a ridiculous disguise. If you are gonna use it, don't put it on sideways." The blanket turned 90º so it blended in with the fence...sort of. It was out of line with the grooves. She sighed. "Take one step to your left." He did, a miraculously blended in. Finally.
She started to walk away, and turned her head back to him, "Oh and by the way...I can sense chakra. You'll never fool me." Then she walked away, hips swaying as much as a twelve year old could sway. Konohamaru threw down his blanket.
"Aha! So you saw through my disguise! The rumors of your prowess don't lie!" She paused and turned around, a confused look plastered on her face. Her head tilted to the side.
"Rumors of prowess? Are you talking about my pranks?" He nodded.
"Yeah! Teach me your skills and..." he pointed at her, "I'll become your follower! But you need to teach me the Oiroke too." He concluded with a pout and crossed his arms. "Deal...boss?"
Naruko smirked, "Boss, huh? I like the sound of that..."
Hiruzen held the bridge of his nose. His grandson had run off with Naruko. Of all the people it had to be the one that would get him in trouble! Konohamaru is being ruined by over indulgence...these ceaseless attempts at surprise attacks are a persecution to us all...but this time, Konohamaru may have bitten off more than he can chew...Naruko will probably drag him into some harebrained scheme.
Naruko looked down at her student. After showing him many magazines with models, Icha Icha books, and real-life kunoichi, he was ready. "Okay Konohamaru, let's see what you got! Ready...Steady...Go!"
Konohamaru looked determined, "Okay...behold...Henge!" Out of the smoke appeared...a fat, ugly woman in underwear. Again. Naruko sighed, he just wasn't understanding. She led him to a well lit clearing in the forest.
"Pay attention, look closely...now...Oiroke no Jutsu! Twenty year old Naruko giggled ad twirled a strand of her hair. "You need a tight waist," She gestured to her waist, "larger hips, big ass, big breasts, and cute face. She needs to be skinnier-not that skinny. It need to look real at least. This is already unrealistic enough! Taller! Perfect! Good job 'Maru! You did it!" Twelve year old Naruko made a victory sign with her hand. Suddenly she whipped around as she saw a tall chakra figure.
"Hey, 'Maru? Let's eat!" She held up some vending machine food. Both were munching away happily when suddenly Naruko looked up. "Hey, what's your problem with Hokage-jiji anyways?"
He sighed and looked down, "My name- Konohamaru...Jiji named me. Like the village, right? He said it would bring me luck...but even though everyone in the village knows that is what I am called, no one ever calls me that!" His tiny fist clenched. "It's always just 'Honorable Grandson.' No one ever sees me for who I am...just who I'm related to." Naruko looked at him from the corner of her eye. "And I hate it! But it'll be different when i'm Lord Hokage, and that's gonna be real soon!"
Naruko chuckled, and ruffled his hair. "I understand 'Maru. I'm going to tell you something- and you listen good, ne? My name is Naruko Uzumaki. I don't know who named me. I'm an orphan, both my parents died on the evening the Kyuubi attacked. Everyone in the village knows my name, but nobody ever calls me that. I am 'dobe' or 'deadlast.' I am 'idiot' or 'brat.' I am 'demon.' There is a reason people call me these names, one that I cannot change. I was made to be a special person- but I am no one but a failure in the eyes of most." She turned to look at him, "I hate it too. But just because I don't like the way things happen doesn't mean it's gonna change. Which is why you won't be Hokage." He gasped, looking hurt. "At least not yet. You gotta earn that name, and to do that you're gonna have to beat me! 'Cuz I am the next Hokage, dattebayo, and the greatest of them all!"
Hiruzen stood on a platform overlooking the Hokage Monument. All was calm until Umino Iruka appeared. "Lord Hokage, I've been looking all over for you!"
Hiruzen titled his hat, "Hello, Iruka." Iruka looked anxious about something, "What exactly is it you need?"
Iruka blushed, scratching the back of his head, "Has Naruko submitted her Ninja Registration?" The Hokage nodded. "Good. Yesterday I treated her to a stern lecture over ramen. She's been on cloud-nine since she passed the test!" Iruka smiled lightly, "She intends to become a full-fledged kunoichi and earn the respect of everybody in the village."
Hiruzen sighed, looking over the village he both loved and loathed with all his heart. "That may be a difficult dream for her to realize. Only we who were adults at the time of the Great Battle know the truth- that the girl Naruko contains the Nine-Tail Fox spirit that tormented our people until it's defeat a dozen years ago. Disclosure of that secret is strictly forbidden...under pain of the most severe penalty our law can inflict...death." He looked down at the children playing in the street. "As a result, the children of our village know nothing of the truth! Among her peers, at least, Naruko's secret is safe."
Hiruzen looked up at the Fourth's stone face with the heavy feeling of failure. "It was the fondest wish of the Fourth Hokage that our people come to regard Naruko as a savior, a hero. He made that wish for her...sealed her fate...and died. He selected a newborn child, umbilical cord freshly cut and tied within her navel. Naruko was sacrificed, for the safety of us all, to become a living vessel for the imprisonment of the fox.
"But that is not how the adults who know choose to see it. Instead, their treatment of the girl is so contemptuous and hostile- it has been picked up by the children who have no idea of the truth! Iruka...can you imagine? How it must feel...so much hatred and hostility...to be treated with an animosity so intense as to be annihilating...to have around many who deny you even...the right to live."
Naruko stiffened as she felt another, larger chakra. "Ne, 'Maru? I think your creepy glasses-sensei is here. Both turned around and stood up. Ebisu practically cried in relief, "There you are!"
Ebisu was horrified. The Honorable Grandson was talking to the damned fox...Naruko!
Naruko could have snarled, if it wouldn't have made the situation worse. There was that look again...the same ugly look from yet another person. There was always someone. Ebisu jumped down infront of them, pushing up his glasses yet again.
"And now, Honorable Grandson,it is time we return home." Konohamaru noticed the look Ebisu sent Naruko's way and became angry.
He crossed his arms and shook his head, "No way! Not yet! I have to kick Jiji's ass" Naruko giggled (he was learning!) "and become the next Hokage! Nee-chan has helped me way more than you, so get lost!"
Ebisu glared at said 'nee-chan.' "The revered Lord Hokage knows and understands the eight principles that are the cornerstones of all knowledge of the shinobi: virtue, justice, ceremony, wisdom, faithfulness, prudence, and filial piety. He is the master of over one thousand illusions and...eh?"
Konohamaru interrupted with his best 'nee-chan' pose, and yelled, "Behold! Oiroke no Jutsu!" In Konohamaru's place study a beautiful, busty brunette pressing her breasts together. "Ebisu-sama!" Konohamaru-chan stomped her foot in frustration before changing back. "Nee-chan! Why isn't it working?!"
Ebisu looked appalled, "Wha-wha...What a vulgar display! Not fit for a gentleman's eyes, and I will not fall for it!" Ebisu grabbed Konohamaru's scarf. "Honorable Grandson! If you lower yourself to consort with creatures of this sort you will fall to her level! Only by following my teachings will you ever merit the name of Hokage! Now, let's go home." Konohamaru stomped on Ebisu's foot, forcing him to let go.
"Don't insult my nee-chan!" Naruko smirked.
"Yeah Ebisu, don't insult nee-chan. Or this happens. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" One hundred clones appeared around Ebisu.
Ebisu merely adjusted his glasses and scoffed, "Hah! Child's play! No match for a superior teacher like myself. It would only fool an idiot like Mizuki!"
Naruko's around the clearing snarled, before composing themselves. As one, the called out, "Behold," all smirked, "Oiroke Gyaku Haremu no Justu!" All the blondes in the clearing rushed up to him, pressing their breasts together as purring "Ebisu-sama!" Konohamaru looked shocked. Ebisu flew across the clearing with massive blood loss.
Meanwhile, the Third Hokage face palmed as he gazed into the crystal ball, blood dripping from his nose.
Naruko grinned as she dropped both jutsu, " I call this one my Harem Jutsu, to go with my Sexy Jutsu."
Hiruzen was somewhat impressed, "She combined her Kage Bunshin with her infamous Oiroke? Once again, her first resort is to the most inappropriate trash she could come up with...even I would have succumbed to it.
Konohamaru stomped his foot, "Dammit, I failed to defeat Four Eyes-sensei again, kore! All I want is a name that everyone will respect and I want it now, kore!" Naruko ruffled his hair.
"What did I tell you earlier? You think wanting is all it takes? You're talking about taking the name Hokage, the greatest Shinobi in town, the one everybody respects!" She squinted her eyes, "My whole life it's been one awful thing after another. I even doubted myself. Only one person treats me with any kind of respect...and even he...was nearly impossible to win over. Are you ready to make a commitment?"
She looked towards him. "Commitment...?" He asked.
She nodded her head. "Everybody- and I do mean everybody has the highest respect for the Hokage name! Do you get it now? there are no shortcuts!"
He looked up in awe, "Then from this day forwards...I will not only be your disciple...but your rival! It's your tough luck, because I'll always be one step ahead of you, one step closer to my destiny and a shinobi! But, hell, one day...you and I will fight for the title of Hokage!"
Naruko chuckled, "I'm sure...but you better look forward to that day...Konohamaru!" And she walked away, swaying her hips as best as she possibly could as a twelve year old. As Naruko Uzumaki reached the end of the clearing, her head turned back towards him, "And just to remind you, it'll be difficult to stay one step ahead of me. I'm a true kunoichi already...and I can sense chakra. Good luck getting the jump on me!" Than she used a chakra enhanced jump to leave.
Konohamaru whined in frustration and stomped his foot, "Dammit nee-chan!"
The Hokage watched the scene fondly through his crystal orb. He tucked the sphere back into his desk. Both had a while to go before they became true shinobi...but as the Lord Hokage thought on the day's events and smiled, he saw the dream, and the challenges that lay ahead for Naruko. And he knew she would meet them head on.
That's all folks!
