Chapter 13: Can't Stand (It)
Seven days later, the morning did not bring the brunet any more comfort than it had last week. His chest felt as though it were submerged under the deepest ocean; it made him nauseous and choked, more so than his short conversations with death ever have. He sympathizes with the silveret's sick day now; perhaps he felt this way, so utterly distraught it made him ill. However, the brunet got up anyway, determined to get through the day without skipping out. Day seven; if he's gotten this far by faking it, surely he can make it another. Part of him was out to prove his strength, but another part wanted to prove how empty a person can be and yet function. Surely he should be feeling slightly better by now, though?
Despite his determination, he couldn't get his dreams from his mind, all memorable and plaguing that he woke up many times throughout the tossed and turned nights. They all had Riku in them. In one, he was playing Pokemon Yellow. The game was glitching, for whatever reason, frustrating him enough to throw the Gameboy across the room. Out of nowhere, as dreams tend to procure, the silveret appeared in front of him and kissed his cheek. In the dream, the brunet remembers smiling and instantly feeling better before the scene faded away. All the others went similarly to this one; Sora would break or make a botch of something, and then Riku would magically make it all better with the lightest touch. Sometimes, the dreams simply reconstructed a moment Sora had with him. Even the most recent memories, in which the brunet avoided the silveret like the plague, would recreate themselves from time to time, but the ending always had a twist. Riku would catch him. The repeating theme felt like a premonition, but so far Sora has been able to slip through the silveret's persistent clutches. Still, the dreams perturbed him, for the daylight makes all those little subconscious fantasies seem shamefully ridiculous.
Through a blur he meanders to the cafeteria for breakfast. He's wearing the same forest-mangled basketball shorts and t-shirt from a week ago, reeking of sweat and grass and trees but quite frankly, he doesn't give a damn. If any of his cabin-mates called out to him, he wouldn't have noticed. The brunet is a ball of yarn, rolling out into a frayed string. After arriving to the soon-to-be flooded mess hall, he barely tastes the cereal and toast he acquires from the food line and for the most part watches the other familiar faces as they gradually fill the table.
Axel and Roxas come through first, together. Already, Roxas is flustered; probably something the redhead said. The mischievous man smirks down at the blonde, taking all his insults and retorts with an amused smile. When Roxas has said his piece, the redhead shrugs and ruffles Roxas' hair. Sora doesn't see Axel's lips move, but Roxas mutters something and covers his hair, his face blooming into a bright red flush.
Sora sighs. Well, at least they can be close. Secretly he yearns. Could there be a better way than this, that leads to something like that?
Next Ventus comes through, closely followed by both Xion and T.K. Xion is conversing and laughing with both of them while T.K. dances to the food line. The raven-haired girl spares him a glance in which Sora attempts to smile toward her. She smiles genuinely back, so he assumes that it was convincing enough. Vaguely the brunet wonders if Coach has noticed the girl's gender yet, and if not, what he will do if he ever finds out. She doesn't seem too concerned with it, though perhaps that would be too complicated for her to be bothered with. And yes, he is still bitter about that. Sue him.
And then, the silveret comes through. Even Sora, resolved to stop caring (though completely unsuccessful), can't help but allow his wonder-filled blue eyes to follow him until the silveret places himself directly across from him. Riku has done this for several days now, yet his close proximity has not lost any of its glamour or thrill. If Sora weren't so sleep-deprived, he might be angry about it. Instead, Sora's sleepy eyes merely stare.
Riku's hair has haphazardly tangled itself into a ponytail, highlighting all the contours of his face. Whereas Sora's face has always been round and rounded, nothing about the male opposite him is even close to circular. Angular is the only way to describe him, really; straight jaw, heart-shaped face (he even has the widow's peak, yet another point on his body), arched eyebrows, and a quirky smile. His mind, though already tortured by the other plethora of other mental snapshots, takes another inward picture. Sora scowls, sure to see the image in one of his dreams soon.
Even if his mouth didn't say 'cheese', his eyes did. They are uncommonly bright today; Sora wonders if he had hung out with Axel again last night. His eyes were bright like this the day after Sora eavesdropped on their conversation in the forest, suggesting that some inner battle had been won. Whatever it was. But alas, his attire is still completely black; however, Sora knows how little his attire reflects his mood and rather how he views himself. The brunet can at least appreciate that after all, Riku is still undeniably Riku though Sora cannot say the same for himself.
"Good morning, Sora," he finally speaks, and Sora snaps out of his little world.
He mumbles in reply, "'Morning," glancing between the silveret and the table littered with cold food. He counts the left over foggy cheerios in his plastic, disposable bowl. May this morning be like the others, he prays, and have that greeting end the conversation.
Riku's turquoise eyes squint slightly in concern. Sora meets his eyes blankly, saying everything yet nothing at all. In response, Riku randomly procures a number-two pencil and a little college-ruled notepad. Sora watches with slight interest; this is a new tactic. He scribbles a sentence, half-assedly folds the page, and then passes it along with the pencil.
The brunet is a little more than shocked, taking the note with wide, screaming eyes and a silent tongue. Sure, Riku had been trying all week to get the brunet to speak with him, though unsuccessfully. However this private, desperate tactic is novel and infectiously hopeful. Be it, perhaps, that Sora is simply cracking after a full week of silence and drudging, but the sick Sora panics slightly as he recognizes the blooming feeling of happiness when he reads the scribble. The little hopeful note only says, "You okay, Sor?" The absurdity of the question nearly sends the brunet into hysterical, and not necessarily unwarranted, laughter. Luckily for the general peace of the public, the brunet represses the response and reassesses the question much like a computer program. It's all he can do to keep some composure, albeit degrading like the radioactive materials of a nuclear bomb.
Of course, the honest answer to such a question is something along the lines of: "no, you manipulating douchebag, I'm not okay. Haven't been all week. So kind of you to notice." But he didn't come to breakfast looking for a fight, much less with him. Sora isn't entirely sure he has the heart to physically hurt Riku in the first place, even after all this time; it would only harm the brunet more for the memories of their playful wrestling-vs.-martial-arts matches would break at such an occurrence. Despite himself, the memories are precious to him, evidence that the brunet can be fun and happy and valued.
The reminder of such memories is enough to supply Sora with some sort of answer. "I missed you," Sora says to him quietly, sliding the note back to Riku without even touching the pencil. He hopes his words are enough to effectively end the conversation. The brunet turns his head toward the rambunctious redhead and Roxas, both of whom are slowly making their way back to the table with their breakfast trays in Axel's hands. Sora would prefer to feel this sword of jealousy than the poisoned knife of any expression Riku could make in response.
It was an honest statement, one that not only answered Riku's question but also effectively changed the subject. Equally a malicious shot as a plea, Sora can't help but hope Riku felt the weight of both.
Sora's words did weigh heavily on him, though his logical mind fought the emotions effectively. The silveret knows that he broke off the connection between them first, but it has been Sora who has avoided him for a total of seven days now. That's not Riku's fault. He allows the slight indignation to settle, knowing that the anger can fuel his determination. Above all else, the silveret knows that they cannot part ways on these poor relations. It is not fates design, or his… which is more important, anyway.
Enduring the last week, Riku has come up with a very solid conclusion; Axel was right. Sora does, in fact, have an issue with resigning into misery instead of fighting fate whenever times get rough. As if looking into a mirror, the silveret has watched Sora retreat to his man-cave all the while giving Riku the cold shoulder. On top of that, Sora has managed to twist the events to justify his undeniable depression. Usually, so does Riku. In this way, the silveret isn't even angry that Sora has done this to himself- he's mostly impressed and understanding. However, Riku's pity party was short-lived and stood on the premise that Sora was the attractive replica of his dearly departed best friend, which was a mistake and- with all due respect- that is actually a good thing. Sora and Mikey are so similar in that they are both good, and good at it. But Sora is still in love with life, even if his emotions seem to make his actions betray his cause. In a roundabout way, Riku understands that the brunet can be "saved" whereas Mikey could not. If the silveret simply shifts his view in this way, he can see Sora as some sort of adorable, yet male, damsel in distress that needs a bit chasing. This is how Riku has kept his morale so impossibly high.
At the very least, it can be said that the note had an effect, which is a good sign. Finally, a break in the glacier that separates the two of them. At least it is still very apparent he still cares about the whole thing. However, Riku is running out of ideas on what he should do to bring about opportunities for the friendship to flourish again. Seven days, dozens of attempts and only today has one worked. They've been forced to play almost every sport, been all around the camp and even outside it… What's left to do? Riku can't think of anything but persisting in every possible event until Sora cracks. Goddamnit, why doesn't he have a psychological chisel for this?
However, there's another problem as well, like he needs any more. Sora, although obviously not attracted to girls (as expressed before, Riku has been very diligent in watching Sora as of late), doesn't seem to be gay either. Well. Nevermind. He seems very gay, but Riku doesn't think Sora knows it—if you know what I mean. It brings to question whether Riku should singly attack the friendship front, or add in some faggatory sprinkles into it as well. Axel wants him to "go for it", but such a vague statement deserves a vague response. Riku glances to the redhead, jealous as he observes that sly devil somehow got his arm around Roxas already. In what universe is Sora harder to get than Roxas? It isn't even fair. In this metaphorical battle between Riku and his beloved, the poor silveret is having a hard time juggling all these tactics. Chasing is a strenuous task, requiring strategy and some sort of inner navigational device to guide him through the endless maze. He's constantly switching out of Knight-Mode and into Prince-Mode, progressively becoming more desperate with each move.
All in all, though, Riku has never felt so fulfilled in his life, to be working for a worthy goal. Often times, Riku can win his desires by sheer willpower and what he considers higher ideology; meaning that because his cause is nobler and infused with faith, he will win. Because he's Riku, and he always wins. Some may stay up and ask what they stand for but finally, at least the silveret can say what- or rather, who- he stands for. And that'll be the key to his success.
Xion taps Sora's shoulder and he breaks his gloomy gaze on the ketchup mustard duo. He tries to conceal his surprise that she has come up to him; she seemed to understand that he couldn't speak to her yet over the course of the week, though she must have some higher intuition that says today is the day he faces what she had said. He feels a pang of resentment; couldn't she act as though nothing had happened, like they had for the past seven long days? First Riku, and now her? He can almost hear fate shuffling his cards.
"Hi, Xion," he tries to say enthusiastically, "I…er.. I'm sorry about that night, awhile ago." It is an honest apology, though he isn't quite sure what he is guilty for anymore. He still cringes from her simple ideology of simplicity though the reasons as to why vary from moment to moment. Sometimes he is scared to let go of complications. Sometimes he simply degrades the notion until he is satisfied that he 'defeated' it. Sometimes he longs for it. Yet it is always, no matter how he feels, too far away to grasp. Sora wonders if she knows that the brunet still does not understand it. He wonders if it is simply another unattainable dream that he may watch come to fruition in others but never witness in himself.
Aside from his conflict with Xion, the brunet can feel the silveret's intense, questioning gaze. Vengeful satisfaction knocks on the door of his heart, tempting him to indulge. Sora keeps his eyes on the girl, repeating over and over in his mind that he owes Riku nothing. After all, Riku has his secrets too. He can enjoy his own now, correct?
The raven haired girl waves her hand dismissively. "Don't even worry about it; I forgot about it, believe it or not," she giggles to herself. "I was actually gonna ask if you wanted to play chess with me. I don't wanna do the sports thing today."
Well, that would solve a few problems, such as the lack of fucks Sora gives (so he wouldn't be enthusiastically sporty today either) and the desperate need for the brunet to get out of his mind. A strategy game would do nicely. Maybe even Riku will give him a moment's reprieve in psyche and body by going with the others to play whatever sport Coach has in mind that day. With all this on hand, well, he doesn't exactly have to think twice. Smiling weakly, Sora replies, "That sounds great…"
And then, Riku interrupts, "We could make a competition out of it. I'd like to play, too." Goddamnit.
Xion smiles excitedly back at the silveret and says, "Awesome! The more the merrier! Axel, Roxas, care for chess?" That black-haired traitor. Doesn't she know that ketchup and mustard are bad for her figure?! Don't invite them, too!
Roxas groans, "Oh god, not that game. Anything but that game." It takes all of Sora's effort not to nod enthusiastically in his direction to indicate his approval.
"Awww, Rox, don't be like that," Axel cooed. He turns his gaze up to the girl and says, "I'm in. Could we make it strip chess?" Ugh, no, anything but that.
With a look of disgust, Xion and Roxas simultaneously slap the mischievous redhead. After a brief moment of silence, most of the group begins chuckling. For some reason the slap shocks him into relaxing ever so slightly. Even Sora can't help but giggle as Axel feigns tears and rubs his cheeks. It was about time someone slapped him today anyway (the action is usually warranted at least once an hour). Only Roxas looks even slightly regretful, grumbling under his breath, "Strip chess, seriously? Goddamnit, why….".
After the laughter subsides, Ventus points out, "So where will go for this? They're gonna kick us out soon."
Understanding that the snowflake on top of the mountain has already accumulated into a huge, unstoppable snowball of imminent chess, Sora nods in agreement. It's no use; his dream of a tranquil and relaxing game of chess has been slaughtered. He contributes, "They always close the cafeteria at about ten to prepare for the lunches." Right as the brunet begins to ponder solutions that might favor him most, Riku inserts happily, "Well, we can use our cabin."
Sora glances over to the silveret grumpily. Won't it be a little cramped in one small cabin? And how many people are there, seven? Or eight, if Chris joins. The look on his face is one of speculation; he must be up to something. But before Sora can protest, Axel butts in, "Yeah, that'd work! We'll have one of the beds dedicated to the two playing." The brunet's blue eyes glare at the redhead, but his green eyes don't spare him a glance.
It may be Sora's imagination, but he could have sworn that Axel winked at Riku. That bastard.
Riku hadn't really thought out his suggestion through; he merely saw a window of opportunity and jumped into it. However, once everyone got to the cabin, it was very hard to fit everyone in. T.K., Ventus, and Xion ended up on a top bunk, Axel and Roxas managed to take up all of Axel's bunk (go figure), and that left Sora and Riku to the last bunk. Of course, the silveret didn't mind in the least. Chris did end up trying to join, but seeing the group's several divides, he kept his distance and leaned on a post of one of the bunk beds. Riku idly wonders how long the awkward boy will remain with them before he decides to find some other, more interesting, employment.
Once everyone had at least a claimed spot, Xion climbed down from her post and set up the chess board. "Okay, who wants to play me first?"
"Well, wait, what are the rules?" Ventus asks cluelessly, glancing at the board. "I know how to play the game, I mean, but… how are we going about this?"
"Uhh…" Xion replies intelligently, "Well, I was thinking that whoever wins each battle plays the next game with another person, and whoever wins that game stays. Maybe we should keep a tally though, you know, keep track of who each person has battled."
Chris, looking eager to be included, butts in, "I can do that. I have a notepad."
"Thanks, Chris," Xion says with an appreciative smile. "Does that work, Ventus?"
"Mhmm," the happy blonde replies with a nod.
"Alright, now that that's out of the way," Axel cuts in, "I'll challenge ya, Xion." The redhead clambers off of his bunk and sits across the raven-haired girl. His face reflects complete indifference, but his eyes betray his act.
She giggles and shrugs. "Okay, but I'm gonna win."
"Whatever you say, shortie." And thus, their game commenced. Finally.
The silveret looks over to the stiff brunet residing by him. Riku can tell that it is a reluctant placement, for every time the blue-eyed male moves, he scoots another inch away. Sighing inwardly, he leans on his elbow, a pillar on his knee. Giving Sora a few more moments before conversation is attempted, Riku surveys the status of the room. Axel, Xion, and Roxas have engaged in conversation as the game progresses. Ventus and T.K. are conversing as well, though in a completely different language. Riku smiles slightly; only them. If Riku had the attention to watch subbed animes, he'd perhaps know bits and pieces of their conversation but alas, the silveret had always stuck to the English voice-over versions.
His turquoise eyes again rest on Sora in all his pouting glory. Using his acutest observation skills, Riku senses many emotions from the brunet: anger, by the glare in his eyes; reluctance by his slanted posture and detached expression; nervousness, by the fidgeting and twitching of his hands and right knee. Secretly the silveret hopes that it is not him who caused such feelings upon the brunet, but Riku doesn't know anyone else who would affect him so. And he wonders why, what is Sora thinking to make him feel this way? His only consolation is that soon, hopefully, Sora will no longer harbor these negative feelings and that the brunet will manage to forgive Riku—again.
"Sora?" Riku says softly, slowly. He keeps an unwavering gaze on the cherub's face, waiting for those beautiful blue eyes to look back. After a moment of reluctance, they grant him notice.
"Hmm?" Sora replies abruptly.
"I, uh, wanted to apologize," Riku says quicker than before, once again leaping through his window of opportunity. Sora simply gazes back. "Again," he adds, shortly.
"For what?" the brunet asks, voice sweet but eyes burning- with what? Anger, confusion? Riku can't tell. It's unnerving.
"For… disappearing last week," Sora's facial expression clearly replies 'and?' "and! For being distant since the camp started up again. I don't know what I was thinking."
The brunet's fiery expression melts into one of disbelief. "This is unlike you," he says plainly.
"It's unlike you to be so angry," Riku replies frankly; he hopes that his honesty will be more effective than any suave excuse he could conjure. Sora immediately pouts and shrugs. "It's not like I can help it…"
"I know. I am sorry." Riku attempts to sound as humble and honest as he possibly can, for at this moment he is both. However, he is also out of words. If any more slip from his tongue, he will spill more romantic beans. This would ruin everything, for the silveret knows more than anyone the importance of timing.
The blue eyes glare once again at him. "I'm kind of sick of your shit, Riku."
"It's okay, I am too," Riku replies, chuckling to take the insult in stride. Although the silveret could easily say that he is tired of Sora's immature silent treatment, fighting anger with anger will only bring more hatred, so the silveret shoves it to the side.
Even this earns him a small smile. Seizing the moment, Riku continues, "What can I do to prove to you I mean it?" He coughs and adds, "I want to make this right."
Sora takes a moment to look shocked, but then bites his lip to think. Riku watches, wallowing in the image; yes, this is what he wants. Just remember that, keep that passion, don't falter. One slip of footing and he'll be out of your grasp.
"Alright, you want a second chance?" Sora asks, self-satisfaction on his face evident. He must enjoy having the upper hand for once. Smiling, Riku nods hopefully, "Very much."
Sora smirks- a weird occurrence, let Riku tell you- and replies, "Beat me at chess, and I'll give you another chance."
The silveret has to nearly hold his eyes in place to stop them from rolling. How cheesy can this kid get? Yet, he likes it, the way that Sora can be a kid at the drop of a dime. It's a cute and admirable trait that the silveret hopes will one day rub off on him. Riku breaks into a wide smile, "Alright, it's a deal!" He holds his pale hand out.
"Uh-uh. Pinkie swear!" Sora holds out his pinkie, gazing at him in the most determined expression Riku has ever seen. What a dork; at least he's smiling for the first time in a week. Ignoring the melting sensation in his chest, the silveret goes along with it, hoping that in the future these little moments will be cherished. He has faith, despite all the signs, that he and Sora can be in an eternal competition, if nothing else. He holds out his pinkie, bended from the many years of holding down the fourth-finger notes on the violin. And thus they lock their pinkies, at least finally engaging in some private and mutual contest. Yet another step forward; two in one day, he must be in luck!
Sora watches the chess game intently, attempting to somehow force his heart to stop thumping so loudly and rapidly. What does the Riku think he's doing? Has this been the silveret's goal for the past seven days? Up, down, up, down! The brunet wasn't lying when he said he is so sick of his shit!
This morning and the rest of last week, Sora felt defeated, broken down, and downright depressed. In all his teenage intensity, Sora was sure of his feelings and determined to play the part. He was going to let them have their little "I-Hate-Sora" party, glide him through an angry torrent, and then allow himself to forget Riku. That was the foolproof plan. But oh no, that'd be too fucking merciful. Instead, Riku had to waltz back in and knock on Sora's conscience saying, "Hey, I'm sorry. I've changed! Lemme in! Everyone deserves second chances, right Sora?"
Okay, maybe he didn't say that directly, but that's exactly what the stupidly gorgeous silveret did! Curse his shoulder angels. If this is why girls complain about players, count this gullible brunet out. All he wanted was a friend, is that too much to ask? Friends don't emotionally exhaust each other. The silveret must not understand this concept. He is a shitty friend.
But Sora doesn't actually believe that; that's what kills him. As much as he would like to, he can't lie to himself. Secretly, Sora desperately wants Riku to be true to his word, to earn the brunet's trust back, to stay and never leave. Forget that the camp will be over in two weeks. Anyone can stay dedicated friends for fourteen days. Or at least, that's what Sora wants to believe. Surely friends don't feel this strongly about one another? Surely friends don't go through this much trouble for each other? But if they aren't friends, what are they? The brunet simply doesn't know anymore. Having been in a fog all week, simply fighting dream-Riku and his lethargy, Sora honestly doesn't know what he feels anymore. The heavy helpless feeling is almost enough incentive to ask Xion or Axel for advice.
Sora's head spins with all the questions bouncing around the nearly empty space between his ears. He hates himself for being so bendable, so bi-polar. One instance of hope should not knock him off balance like this. He almost prefers constant depression to the spontaneous yet forceful ambivalence. He fears that, against his will, he has become addicted to Riku's very presence. The fluctuations are worth it as long as the silveret always comes back; maybe Sora just likes the emotional roller coaster ride. But maybe this is all some crazy emotional high; Sora hasn't felt so weird before. Everything was so simple before. Things were either happy or sad; there was no bittersweet, no simultaneous love and hate. Perhaps the only instance comparable to these emotions is the death of his family, but even that was so overwhelmingly sad that there are few memories he can honestly say bring a smile to his face. Even now, a decade later, the distress is still overwhelming. His life is on overdrive and Sora's heart can't possibly catch up!
Yet, after all, maybe it is Sora who is over-exaggerating all these feelings. Maybe Riku's actions aren't nearly as devastating as Sora perceives. Maybe Xion was right; everything could be so much simpler again if the brunet would just take a deep breath and shake it off. These thoughts are the ones that hurt the most. Even selfless Sora doesn't want to take on that kind of blame. Sora wouldn't hurt himself, would he?
Maybe this is why Riku talked about his friend with Axel instead of him; Sora couldn't possibly compare, not because there is no room for Sora in his heart, but because Sora can't possibly be worthy to take his place. Axel is much more capable to listen (which, that in itself, is a frightening thought). The scars Riku carry, Sora would only reopen them. Friends uplift friends; friends don't bring each other down. Being so easily swayed by the constant tides of his tsunami emotions, Sora can't expect Riku to hold his ground with such an inconsistent person. Suddenly, the brunet is overwhelmed with guilt; perhaps it is Sora who should be apologizing.
But it is too late; Riku has already made his deal. Sora accepted, and he isn't going to take it back. The brunet can be selfish once more; he wanted a friend, and if Riku is so eager than he can at least try. All Sora has to do is lose against Riku. For once, the course of his fate is in Sora's hands. For once, he can choose to walk away or stay. Now that, in itself, is a Miracle.
Axel and Chris lose to Xion, Xion loses to T.K., and then Roxas loses to T.K. as well. On the way back to his spot in Axel's arms he grudgingly challenges Riku to beat the Japanese teen. T.K. smiles, seeming to understand. The turquoise eyes glance at Sora for some sort of reaction. There is none to notice; he hasn't changed since the whole pinkie promise thing. He is still slightly flushed, looking somewhat content and yet somewhat confused or distressed. Albeit a cute expression, the silveret can't help but feel that Sora's actions are simply unhealthy.
He pats Sora's knee, effectively scaring him into attention. "After I beat him I'm going to challenge you," Riku informs him, smirking in confidence.
The brunet simply nods, blushing a deeper pink into his cheeks. Slowly Riku lifts his hand off of the teen's knee (for that sexy lingering effect), and clambers down from the bunk. He truly does hope he can beat T.K. though it has been awhile since he has seriously tried to defeat someone in chess. The silveret had become proficient at the game, but unaccustomed to winning because Mikey was such a genius strategize-r. Riku suspects that as soon as Riku moved his first piece on the board, Mikey had already planned out the entire game with back up plans and escape routes to any attempt Riku would make. But, he reminds himself, the blonde incoherent male is not Mikey. If anything, Riku will have the advantage if he can remember all Mikey's strategies.
He sits carefully across from the fidgety teen, attempting to settle in without knocking over the pre-set board. Of course, he got the black pieces. Glancing up to his opponent, he says, "White always goes first," though he isn't sure T.K. understands. Nevertheless he waits, using the time to recollect all those tactics and plans Mikey had taught him.
And then T.K.'s tan hand reaches out and seizes a pawn. He moves it forward two spaces, and the game begins.
After a full thirty minutes of pure mental agony, Riku finally gets the Japanese bastard into a check. The silveret has to wait another five minutes until he makes another move, but because of Riku's strategy it doesn't provide a comfortable save. Riku moves forward his bishop and brings T.K. into another check. The blonde moves his king away again, and the silveret has to resist a laugh. Riku can continue to chase his damn king all day if he has to, just like he can chase Sora for a week or more if he has to. He knows he will win in the end. He has to.
It could be worse, he muses. He knew a girl who chased after a guy for six months before finally accepting defeat. Even then, she remained his loyal friend despite being utterly friend-zoned. It was a shame really; even Riku could see she was beautiful inside and out even if he wasn't attracted to her either. Being bi-sexual-leaning-toward-gay kind of hindered his appreciation of her physique. Anyway, Riku hopes it doesn't take that long, only to accept rejection. He can't think about that.
It takes another five turns before he finally corners T.K.'s king and takes it with a random pawn, surprising even those outside the game. The silveret takes a moment to accept the victory and then sighs in relief. Well, one game down. T.K., accepting defeat without any hard feelings, high-fives the silveret and slips off the bunk, happy to return to Ventus' understanding and Xion's giggle. The silveret doesn't blame him in the least; one game of chess is hard enough. Three in a row must be mentally exhausting. But all is fair in love and war, and for Riku it is both.
Reminded by the cliché phrase of his intended opponent, his turquoise seek out Sora. He remained on the bunk, watching the scrambled board in silence. Riku smiles, "Come on, Sora; you're next."
Axel laughs, "Next for what? Next to beat you?"
Riku glares at his friend, "No, not even close. I am definitely going to win."
"Whatever you say. Last camp session only Namine could beat him. D'you remember that, Sora?"
Climbing down from their bunk, Sora replies with an attempt at playfulness, "Pfft. I let her win."
"You don't sound convinced of that at all," Axel laughs back, "Poor Demyx though; I heard she told him they could date if he ever beat her at chess."
"Who are you guys talking about?" Xion asks, eyebrow raised.
"Oh, friends from the last camp. Riku, Sora, Roxas, and I are all returns from the beginning of summer," Axel explained, pointing to each of those he mentioned. "You missed out," he added.
"Sounds like it," she says, turning her attention away from the chatty redhead. Riku also averts his eyes from the center of the conversation and looks to Sora. Saving him the energy of climbing onto the bed without knocking over the chess pieces, Riku folds the board and lets all the pieces slide into his lap. When Sora assumes some comfortable position, the silveret lays out the board and places the piece.
"White or black?"
"I'll take white, please," Sora says, gazing at the board as if it holds all the answers to life and death.
"O.K. chief," Riku replies, setting up the board accordingly.
It doesn't take long for Axel and Roxas to start their conversation, and soon after Xion, Chris, Ventus, and T.K. (somehow) start their own as well. Riku can vaguely catch pieces of their discussion about chocolate, surely a topic brought up by the woman in the group. As if fate itself directed their attention away, Riku feels the isolation between him and the flustered Sora. What a wonderful feeling, that even in this cramped bunk with so many other people they can still be alone together. Never mind that Sora doesn't quite enjoy that fact at the moment.
The silveret waits anxiously for Sora to make his move; having taken the white pieces, for the rest of the game Riku must wait on him. It's almost a symbolic gesture, but the silveret tries to not look much into it. Should he start a conversation? Should he wait for Sora to move before saying anything? Oh how surprised his mother would be to find Riku so nervous.
Sora moves his pawn forward, and the game begins. Riku releases a breath he hadn't noticed he was holding. Though it is Riku's turn, Sora speaks first. "You know I won't go easy on you. I'm still mad."
"That's okay, Sor, I wouldn't want it any other way."
"Don't let me down."
"I won't."
And Riku moves forward his piece.
Typical of the two stubborn teens, after a solid forty five minutes they are still neck in neck. If one has lost a bishop, so has the other. Occasionally their friends would spare a moment of attention to the game, and Riku would then apologize and they'd always reply with "It's fine. You guys are good. I'd hate to be the one to play any one of you." Sora would send a seemingly genuine smile their way and say thank you. Then the game would continue.
In truth, Sora recognizes that Riku is indeed putting his best foot forward for this game. He is playing well and even Sora has to think for a few minutes before making a move. That is the only way he could survive against the witty silveret. However, there is definitely a part of him that is merely playing with him, like a mouse poking it's nose out of its home just to see if the cat is nearby to attempt at clawing. It is his harmless version of vengeance.
However his game doesn't bring him any closer to his answer. Does he want to let Riku in again? Does he want to give him a second chance? Normally he'd grant forgiveness no matter what, but in all honesty Sora is scared. It is easy to forgive when the wound isn't more than a small scratch. It isn't easy to forgive when the wounds are gaping. The brunet would be naive to think that Riku couldn't inflict some formidable damage. Part of him wants to take that chance, but part of him wants to run away like the little mouse. Shouldn't the mouse learn that the cheese is probably placed on a trap?
Riku moves his knight forward. Sora attempts to focus on the game again. As the clock ticks on it becomes more and more difficult for him to truly focus on the game. Undoubtedly his ADHD is playing into his loss of concentration, but the connotations and strings attached to the game itself are very distracting. After looking at the board for a few moments, he maneuvers his bishop away from the knight, suspecting Riku's motives.
Sora already feels sick of the idea that he has control over his fate; he has no idea how to dictate the situation. The brunet isn't a very decisive person. He has the duration of this game to decide and yet it is difficult. Surely it shouldn't be so grueling to answer a simple yes or no question. To be his friend, or not to be; that is the question. For a few fleeting moments, Sora wishes that he could be like Xion; simple and naïve and straightforward. In fact, the brunet would do anything just for a breath of fresh air… that might help clear his mind, just for a few moments…
"Checkmate."
Sora jerks his line of sight over to Riku. "What?"
The silveret sheepishly points to the board. Sora follows his finger and stares at the board. 'Lo and behold there stood Riku's knight atop the spot where the brunet's kind had stood. Sora instantly realizes his mistake; Riku hadn't been after his bishop. How could he have been so careless!
The blue eyes continue to stare at the black knight that took his king's place. For whatever reason, it brings tears to his eyes but not out of anger. He can feel his cheeks flush and his shoulder shake ever so slightly. His king of sorrow, the rule of his self-pity and anger and bitterness has been slain by his dark knight. Oh what irony.
Riku won.
A/N: Well that took forever. I am so sorry it's taken this long to update! Schoolwork got heavy and then I had to study for the SAT and then I was all emotionally distraught from my many social issuesT_T But its mostly over now. I am still dedicated to finishing this story, its just going to take longer than I thought!
Anyway, thank you to all who are still reading :) This is my longest coherent story yet, and I am so happy to have those who read and actually like it. I will be updating as soon as I can! I already have things in mind for the next chapter.
I've also been coming up with a playlist for this story. The songs for this chapter were Some Nights by FUN (for Riku) and Lost It by Nevershoutnever for Sora :) At some point I will post the songs for other chapters and characters.
Happy fanficing! And Happy Saint Patrick's Day!
