So sorry it took this long ... I've been procrastinating ... of course ...


Chapter Twenty

He didn't answer, just gave me an evil look. Then he opened the door and dragged me out. Not loosening his grip one bit, he hauled me over to the church and around back. Through the wall we could hear the kids screaming their voices hoarse. Finally letting go of me, he reached up and pulled the boards off the boarded-up window revealing Johnny and Pony and the little kids.

There were so many flames and the whole church was cracking and popping. Johnny lifted up a kid and handed him to Dally. Dally dropped him on the ground and went back for another one while I just watched stupidly, my legs starting to tremble. Soon all the kids were out and I had transferred to bouncing slightly, anxious.

"Hurry, hurry, it's gonna collapse, aw come on," I muttered under my breath, barely able to breathe, waiting desperately for Johnny and Ponyboy to come flying through the window. But they didn't come.

I heard a huge crack, looked up and saw the roof shift drastically, looked down and saw Pony on fire and Johnny nowhere to be seen. Dally grabbed Pony, yanked him out the window, and smacked the fire on his back, knocking him out cold. Then I heard the most horrifying, heart-wrenching scream ever, immediately sending me to tears.

"JOHNNY!!" I shrieked causing Dally to whip around and jump back in the window, yelling "I'm coming, Johnny!"

My vision entirely blurred, I stumbled over to the window, just as the whole entire blazing church collapsed, any possible way of getting in or out, gone. Stunned, I stared at the rubble and the next thing I knew I was on the ground, bawling fiercely, harsher and longer than I ever did for my family. I blocked out everything around me, just lived in my head, my pained head. People and unknown sounds surrounded me but I ignored it all.

Someone had kneeled beside me and latched onto my shoulders, telling me words I didn't understand, but I continued moaning and bawling, completely oblivious. Soon that person, still gripping my shoulders, pulled me slowly to my feet. My hands clutched my face, gouging my eyes out, as I tried to ignore the screaming and crying all around me. The person was still speaking soft calming incomprehensible words in my ears and started leading me somewhere.

Shaking, I gradually peeled my hands away from my face, the wind and blinding sun hitting me full force. What I saw horrified me. It was Johnny on a stretcher, unconscious and burned, getting wheeled past towards an ambulance beside the one the person was pushing me to. His flesh was dark brown and black and red, gone in patches and truly sickening.

"No! Johnny!" I moaned, trying to shake off the person and follow Johnny.

"Please, calm down! We're going to the hospital. You're in shock!"

I hadn't realised how cold I was and how sick I felt. But I needed to see Johnny! I needed to ride with Johnny! I turned and looked at the person holding onto my shoulders. It was the teacher who had first realised the children were missing. She looked worried.

"Let me go!!"

"No, dear, come with me!"

I froze as I watched Dally being wheeled to the ambulance that Johnny had disappeared into. Ponyboy was being lifted into the other ambulance and everyone was unconscious. Bawling, I ripped myself out of her grip and bolted over to Johnny's ambulance with her on my heels. I pushed past the stunned paramedics and climbed in.

"She's in shock …" I heard the teacher explain to the medics but I had no patience to listen to the rest. Trembling, I stared at Johnny. Even though he was in such a painful condition he still seemed so calm and peaceful, and I sort of envied him. I wanted to feel that peace and calmness. I felt like barfing because of all the stupid adrenaline rushing through me, my heart beating so fast it hurt.

Though we were squished, the paramedics let me stay … mostly because I'd clasped onto the stretcher and refused to budge and they needed to get to the hospital quick. As we zipped away in the ambulance, it all seemed a blur. I didn't remember anything between that moment and when I ended up sitting in the hospital beside Pony and Jerry.

"You shouldn't be smoking, son," said Jerry as he lit his own cigarette. I blinked at him.

"Why not?" Pony asked, taking a long drag.

"'Cause you're a young man, that's why! It's a bad habit to get into."

"I'm sure it is." Pony gestured at Jerry's own cigarette and shook his head.

Just then Johnny and Dally came rolling in on their stretchers. Pony twitched harshly when he saw Johnny. Dally was awake and the same as always.

"If you ever pull a stunt like that again I'm gonna kill you!" he threatened Pony and then they were gone.

I stared at the door in which Johnny had disappeared into, my heart still screaming at me in pain. I clutched my head and leaned over, groaning. They looked so bad! What was I jinxed? Was everyone I ever knew and liked going to die on me? Was I meant to be alone for my whole entire life?!!

I heard a door shut and looked up. Soda and Darry walked in slowly. Pony saw them and smiled the hugest smile I'd ever seen as he jumped to his feet and ran into Soda's arms.

"Ponyboy!" Soda muttered, grinning. "Oh, look at your tuff hair!" He laughed.

Pony stopped and stared at Darry who was standing there awkwardly. "Ponyboy?"

Pony stared at him for a bit then just grinned and ran to him, hugging him tightly. Darry wrapped his arms around his little brother protectively and, his eyes clenched shut, started crying uncontrollably. "I thought I lost you like we did mom and dad!" he gasped causing me to choke up.

Pony had his brothers to worry about him but Johnny and I had no one. No one cared! No one would ever be able to understand just how much I wanted someone to truly care about me! It was all I ever wanted! The pain and sorrow multiplied by ten million in my heart when I thought of that probability. I was never going to be cared about. Unable to watch Pony getting so much love any longer, I got up and ran to the bathroom. I locked myself in a stall and bawled fiercely until I'd cried everything in my body out and I felt completely numb.

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When I was finished, when all the water in my body had been spilled out of my eyes, I re-emerged to find Darry sleeping upright, Soda's head on Darry's legs, and Pony leaning against Soda. Trying my hardest to breathe evenly, I joined them in the chairs, slumped down in mine, and fell asleep too.

I slept horrible.


Yeah, I'm not so crazy about this chapter but oh well.

Listening to Blaqk Audio right now. Know who that is? It's a band that Davey Havok and Jade Puget (from AFI) made. They're so awesome. It's like all 80s dance stuff. Totally sweet. Anyhoo ... Yayy!!

REVIEWS!!! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!! I live off reviews! ... i'm sure i said that some other time ... -shrug- oh well.