Chapter the Third, Hey, It's Me, Kaoru!
ˆˇˆˇˆˇIt wasn't all that hard, really, to remember why nobody else seemed to think Hikaru and I are totally alike, except that everybody already totally thinks that, so why would we have to say any differently, anyway?
ˆˇˆˇˆˇIt's not hard to imagine, though, and this is Hikaru talking, that the rest of all our friends never had to know the difference between the two of us, because like, why would we even care who they were, and never had to know about in the first place, whatforrit?
ˆˇˆˇˆˇI don't say what forrit, Kaoru.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇI didn't say you did, Hikaru, I just happened to be Kaoru when I said it. Do I have to update everyone on the difference between us every time, or isn't there one, Hikaru-senpai?
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Don't call me senpai unless we're alone together, it's weird!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Hikaru, why do you have to embarrass me in front of our guests like that?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Kaoru, quit being such a baby all the time, it's really annoying," Haruhi Fujioka put in, rather rudely, I might add, "just fight back already; either make him feel like crap about himself or kick him in the pants section, why don't you?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇHikaru looked uncomfortable. "Why doesn't somebody kick Haruhi in the pants, so we can all find out once and for all if he's really a-"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Hikaru, stop that! Nobody's touching my little girl's ballsack today!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I'll be the judge of that, senpai, so just stay out of it already. There's such thing as a good touch, you know, and who knows, I might just be in for that sort of thing."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇThe girls all there, and there were only about seven, this hour, were giggling or sort of silently freaking out, either way.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇBoss looked alarmed. "A-are you serious, my darling Haruhi Fujioka? You… you want someone to touch you…" he dropped his voice to a whisper, "your private areas?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"All boys like the good touch, Tamaki," said Fujiko, laughing a little at the way Tamaki nearly balked at her. "It's not that hard to imagine why Haruhi's so upset, after all. Maybe he just wants some alone time with Hikaru, so they can kick or caress each other's, hah, 'private areas', all they wants to."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Okay can we stop talking about touching private parts for-"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Hikaru's not ashamed, is he?" Boss looked curious.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"No, I'm not ashamed, I only-"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Hikaru doesn't know the difference, even, between a good touch and a bad touch, I'll bet," said Haruhi Fujuika, the insatiable cur that she wasn't.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I do too know the difference, Haruhi Fujioka!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"You say my last name like it's supposed to scare me, or something. It's not going to, you know. You could even say it backwards, 'Akoi-joof Eehura', and it's not really that terrifying."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Did Belzeneff teach you that one?" asked Kaoru, curiously genuine innitself, whatforhim.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"No, not Belzeneff, it was the, uh, the other one, what's his name?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh Belzeneff's puppet, that boy, Nekozawa," Tamaki supplied.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇIt wasn't only the four hosts until about an hour and a half before, and everything had been going pretty well, up until just then… ..
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Are we seriously going to confuse the issue, at this point?" Hikaru couldn't seem to let anything go, lately.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Alright, that's it Hikaru. Get your ass out of that chair and come outside, I'm kicking your ass again, today, once and for all, in the field, right now." Haruhi looked more destined, than angry, really.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Are you kidding me right now?" Kaoru looked like he might not even know what to say, to such a thing.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"What is this, some kind of a stupid game? You'd get your ass kicked, Haru-chan, you're a-"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇTamaki Suou tipped Hikaru's already leaning back chair, just then, to shut him up or satisfy his own cravings, no one would ever truly know, actually. The boss was convinced Haruhi was really a girl, at that point in time, so it seemed likely Haruhi wasn't going to have to do anything but kick Hikaru's ass, ball sack equipped or not, as the case might have been. I wasn't really sure, at that point in time, because Haruhi could do both, on a moment's notice, and it freaked the hell out of Hikaru so often I couldn't even figure how not to laugh at him, mostly.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Hey, what the hell is your problem, Suou?!" Hikaru didn't have time to get up before Haruhi kicked him, not-so-lightly, in the shoulders, twice.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Come on, dumbass, I said we're gunna fight, so we might as well do it right here and now, instead of wasting everybody's time going out to the field, knowhatimeanforrit?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Haruhi you're out of your damn mind, right now!" He wasn't even getting up, yet, like that was going to protect a man while he was down, somehow. "Quit kicking me, hey!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Man up, pansy. It's honor on the line, now. What, you afraid of a few more bruises?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Alright, that's it!" He scrambled, trying to get up. "I'm kicking your ass and I'm not holding back, either!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Take it easy Haru-chan," said Kaoru.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Don't call me Haru-chan like that's not half the reason I'm kicking Hikaru's ass today." She wasn't letting him get up without a few annoying kicks, which was pretty damn funny, honestly, cuz she wasn't really hurting him all that bad, just yet. "I'll kick your sorry ass two, Kaoru, or right at the same time, if you wants to, and don't you think you can interfere, Senpai!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I wouldn't dare interrupt my little girl's daring exhibition match against our beautiful Hitachiin twins. Though perhaps we should wait for Mori-senpai to referee or-"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Exhibition match? Is that what you think is about to happen? Oh no, Senpai," she tripped Hikaru, like it was nothing. "I'm gunna kick the ever loving crap out of him, for real this time. He's been pissing me off like this for ages, now."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Haruhi, I can't just let you take down my brother like this! If you're not both shirtless, it feels like there's not even any point to this!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Well, I'm not gunna take my shirt off, forrit," she was lightly boxing at Hikaru, by then, pissing him off by slapping his shoulders really hard, easily getting past his guards, or whatever. "But if you want to imagine me naked, that'd be okay, I guess. It's not like I could stop you."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh my goodness, Haru-chan," said Souka Morino, like she wasn't running the risk of Haruhi kicking her ass today, too, "are you really going to resort to violence, like some common thug? Right here, in the middle of Ouran Academy?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Tamaki say something host like, and no one call me Haru-chan while I'm beating somebody's ass, okay? It's just gunna make me hurt the Hitachiin dopplegangar even worse than I thought I'd initially wanted. So go ahead, actually, it might get kind of funny, in here, forrit."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇHaruhi didn't really do anything for the next ten or so minutes but beat the crap out of my older brother, who was kind of an asshole, lately, and didn't really know how to fight, apparently, so it was pretty funny, and anybody who thought Haru-chan couldn't take control of a fight well enough to keep it getting too out of control and barbarian was out of their minds, because it looked like the easiest thing she'd ever even done before!
