Chapter Four, A Time Without Romance
ˆˇˆˇˆˇNot that you'd have known it, but the lst time I ever fell in love, in was desperately unrequeitable, and thereon after I deemed I should no longer fall in love with fictional characters, no matter how much I love their movies, and I ceased all entertainment in the media, from thereon out.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"My darling lover, are you serious, right now? Do you really wish to… to see more of me?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh, Tamki Suou, you are a charmer, aren't you. I only wanted to drop off this basket one of the host club girls left for you in my classroom."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"A basket? Well why on earth wouldn't they want to bring it here, to the Host Club music room? I can't imagine why-"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Maybe she was just too shy to face you, when she sent it your way. I only brought it myself because I thought you might want to introduce me to that little girl you're always ranting and raving about, whenever we're alone, together."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I.. .. do you not know th-" I stoped short, not realizing until right just at that moment, my mother was trying to trick me, and if she didn't already know that Haruhi Fujioka wasn't not the only boy for me to call my little girl on a daily basis, I could scarcely imagine anyone had done anything but follow her here, to eavesdrop on our conversation.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"The only darling little girl I've ever known is my sweet little Haruhi Fujioka. You should know him by now, he's an honor student here at Ouran Academy."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Ouran? Truly? Oh, goodness gracious, is THAT where we are?! Oh, it's just so magical! Oh my goodness! Is this the music room I've heard the legends about?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Why yes, as a matter of fact i- Hey! You're trying to mock me, I think! Well it won't work! I'm unmockable, these days. My darling little Haruhi has seen to that, for me."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh? So that Haruhi I see in class all the time, he's not the real Haruhi?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I can't imagine there not being another one, except that there isn't, already; Kyouya's checked it, for me."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Ah, and so you think she's never mocked anyone before?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Well especially not her old man, of courses."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Which courses, yours, or theirs?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Mine of course, just what are you playing at, Hikata-sensei?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Sensei? I thought you liked to call me mother, whenever we're alone." She looked demure, oddly enough.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Mother!" I'd lowered my voice. "I thought we had eavesdroppers! And that's why we were pretending you didn't know about Haruhi?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I we didn't, I just like to screw with your paranoid little brain. Do you really think Haruhi doesn't have the whole school switching back and forth over whether he's really a male or not, anyway?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"No, of course not! They all know Haruhi's a man's man, after all!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"A man's boy, you mean, and I don't think that's exactly how I'd describe her."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Well she's not the issue, here! You were trying to trick me, just now, into revealing something! And I don't know what!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Did you want to know who left this basket for your host club?" She held the basket up, and I realized I hadn't taken it, yet.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Ah, sorry to make you hold that, mother. Let's see…" I reached for it, and she held it away. "What the-"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"She's not your friend, Tamaki. She thinks she might be your best secret agent. Do you know why I said that?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I have no idea what you even mean, mother."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"She's afraid you can't be trusted to keep your love with her a secret, from that dashing Kyouya who's always running around scorning all your old lovers, for you."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"M…my dashing Kyouya? He would never!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh no? Are you so sure about that?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I don't really know why you weren't more suspicious of me earlier, Tamaki," came Kyouya's voice from around the corner, and I realized we'd probably had an eavesdropper right here in Host Club this whole time through! "It's not eavesdropping if you already knew I was working in here, Tamaki," he explained without my even accusing him out loud! He came around the corner, to see us.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"What do you mean, Kyouya? Have you been scorning my secret lovers for me? I didn't even know I had any lovers that everybody else didn't know about! Who are they?! What are their names?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Probably not your concern, now that they've been effectively scorned, you know."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I don't think that's really up to you to decide, Kyouya!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Sure, alright, Tamaki. Let me prepare a list for you, and you can go and woo all these till now nameless girls I've scorned on your behalf."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Mighty sportsmanlike of you, Kyouya!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇKyouya disappeared back into his office and my mother said; "There you go! It's so good to see you two working these things out, like that!" She handed me the basket, then, and I have to say, it was quite a nice bouquet of treats and gifts, that I could see just from holding it!
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Thank you, mother, for bringing this matter to my attentions."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Better not stop calling me Sensei, now that we've got listeners, plural, darling."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh, hi Hikata-sensei, how are you doing today?" It was Haruhi, the darling little gem that she was, just coming back from a refreshing game of kick the can, no doubt. "Don't tell me Tamaki got you to come all the way down her for some tea and biscuits? He's a little trickster, you know; we've been out of those for hours, now."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"The nerve!" She… she couldn't actually be offended, could she. "Tamaki Suou, you tricked me?!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I… Sensei that's ridiculous! I had no idea we were out of tea and biscuits! What if we-"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh, Tamaki, here's that list of girls you haven't bedded, lately," said Kyouya, peaking his head around the corner with a clipboard in his hands. "Oh, my apologies. You're entertaining one, still."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"You made what kind of a list, now?" My darling Haruhi sounded… ANGRY with me!
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Haruhi, that's not what he was really saying! He only meant that-"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"That you think there's something wrong with the fact that I've bedded more females than you have, don't you? Typical. Typical Suou."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Whaaat?! That's not it at all! I haven't even tried to bed anyone, lately! It just sort of… happens!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Falls in your lap?" Kyouya suggested.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Yes! No, wait, no!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh, my, god," said Haruhi Fujioka.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Hey Boss, did Haruhi already find that nude photo you took of her while she was passed out yesterday or is she- Oh! Hey, Haru-kun, what's up?" Kaoru's real taking of the situation on his entering seemed negligible.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"You…! You are trying to sabotage me, Hikaru! Is that what this is all about? You all are setting me up to look like a fool and a player?"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I don't know about 'player,'" said Haruhi Fujioka, "I'm pretty sure you'd have to have a lot more game, for that kind of a title."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Whoa, are we having a bedding competition now? Who's winning?" asked Kaoru.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"I am, obviously," said my darling Haruhi-chan! "Hikaru's not far behind me though, last I checked with him.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"You… checked with Hikaru?!" Kaoru looked scandalized. "Without my knowing? You bitch!" He slapped Haruhi.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"That's it!" She glomped Kaoru, and the two of them started laughing almost right away, because Kaoru was terrible at jiujitsu, apparently, but he was pretty wily, so he seemed to be having fun.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh, I wanna play!" said Honey-senpai, and I can't say he wasn't looking sleepy eyed or adorable, coming out of the other room, with the couches in it, holding Usa-chan and grinning at the sight of Kaoru and Haruhi wrestling on the floor of the main entry room. The music room was well chambered, of course; this is one of the most prestigious schools in the universe, after all.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Honey-senpai, hurry and help me, then! The other one can't be far behind and I'm sure I can't take both these weirdoes if Hikaru shows up on us."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Dog piiile!" Honey-senpai leaped on top of Haruhi and Kaoru, who cried out while Haruhi laughed at him and Honey-senpai, again.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Hey Sensei, if you want, you should come out for a picnic with us, by the hedge gardens, later on," suggested Haruhi. She rolled out of the dogpile while Honey-senpai kept messing with Hikaru's older brother, Kaoru, while Hikaru was nowhere to be seen.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh, that's alright, Haruhi. It's very sweet of you to ask."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"No really, you should come join us. See if you can bring Hayamo-sensei, if you like. I feel like she needs to get out of that classroom, a little more often."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Oh, you know what, Haruhi-san, that's not a bad idea at all! I think I will bring some of the girls down to see you boys! They're all dying to know what you host clubs kids are really up to, all this time!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"T-teachers you mean?" I asked, not super incredulously, but mildly. "You're going to bring lady teachers for us to entertain? Why mother, that's the most splendid idea you've ever had!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"It wasn't my idea, or anything, Senpai," said Haruhi, and she looked like she might actually be pouting about it.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Maybe he wants Haruhi to be his mother now," said Kaoru. Honey-senpai hadn't let up on him, much, but he wasn't hurting him, or anything, just playing with him, and hopefully teaching Kaoru to defend himself better.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"That'd fit right into the boss's freakish family complex. How'd you manage to get born from your darling little girl, there, Tamaki Suou?" Ah, Hikaru, a charming arrival, as always.
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Hikaru! Right on time! Some of the teachers will be joining us for our picnic, later, out by the hedge garden! You're in charge of getting more tea and biscuits ready for our guests, before then."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"You're kidding, right? I'm not your lap dog, Tamaki Suou. Have Haruhi do it, or something. I thought that's what you commissioned a commoner into this club, for."
ˆˇˆˇˆˇMy mother clouted Hikaru pretty hard in the side of the head, right in his ear. "Now, young man!"
ˆˇˆˇˆˇ"Jeezus, Christ, are you kidding me right now? Holy, crap, what are-" he apparently hadn't realized just who was standing there when he'd said that, and the sight of her terrified him, and he took off, probably not to get tea and biscuits or anything; that would be weird.
