Chapter 16: Stay Awake (Lydia)
Surprisingly, yet unsurprisingly, Riku and Sora don't encounter Axel and Roxas for the rest of the dance, though it was more than likely Riku's intention to catch up to them after playing guitar hero. However, they pay it no mind. The camp is providing pizza, cookies and sodas for dinner, which occupies Sora and Riku for quite awhile. With just each other at one of the picnic tables right outside the back door of the cafeteria, they eat like famished savages; ravenously, unabashedly. Sora alone shovels six slices; he doesn't count Riku's, but if it were an eating contest the brunet would not know who would win. He too waffles them down, barely appearing to chew, folding the cheesy, greasy slices in half to facilitate the process. Of course, once the servers deny them more pizza, they continue on to devour as many cookies as they can get well. They are still gooey and warm and messy, but they are so hungry that they don't care. After his second cookie though, Sora notices that his silveret counterpart is chuckling. Even so, the brunet can't seem to get an answer out of his friend as to what is so amusing.
"What? What is it?" Sora asks, smiling curiously.
"Oh, nothing," Riku replies promptly, eyes mischievous and vibrant and dilated. His smile brings no comfort either; coy and deliberate, Sora knows that obviously there was some cause to his laughter, and probably at his expense.
"No seriously, tell me!" Sora says, laughing and playing along.
This banter continues on for a decent amount of time until finally Riku points to the brunet's mouth.
"You got something there," the silveret hints, watching him with an eyebrow raised.
"Oh! That was it, why didn't you tell me?" Sora replies. Instinctively, the brunet licks around his lips thoroughly, a little embarrassed. He can feel his cheeks flush ever so slightly, but he hopes that the silveret doesn't notice; it's more embarrassing to blush than it is to make a mess of himself.
"That wouldn't have been any fun," the silveret comments back. Riku's eyes flash peculiarly; Sora is tempted to ask the silveret again, 'what's up', but Riku continues to devour his dessert. Unexplainably compelled, he lets it go and enjoys the taste of chocolate and cookie dough as well, savoring the residue of the taste. They're so good he has two more gooey delicious treats, wolfing them down as if they are his last meal.
Finally, the brunet reaches his stomach capacity and takes a moment to breathe. Just the realization relaxes his whole body; his eyes wander to his drink, the cool bubbly Coke yet untouched. Sora almost regrets eating so quickly; his head is light, yet face warm, and the summer night is not helping his body temperature. He can feel droplets of sweat trail down his back; it's dirty and exhilarating all at once. He tastes a sip of the soda, letting the comforting coolness spread from his mouth to his tummy. After a moment to enjoy the feeling, his eyes travel back to Riku. The silveret, aside from the slight flush to his cheeks, seems to have followed suit, casually leaning on one of his elbows as he takes small sips from his drink. He wants so badly to ask the silveret a million questions about earlier and his potential love interest, and yet he knows that the attempts would be made in vain.
"I didn't realize I was so hungry," Sora lightly commentaries.
Riku nods, "I haven't been that hungry in years… or eaten that much, for that matter."
"You won't get sick will you?" the brunet continues with concern. Riku shakes his head, "Nah, I mean I might but I doubt it. I do get sick relatively often but it's been less and less frequent lately."
Oh, that's good!" Sora says happily, "I hate being sick."
"Ha, you're telling me," Riku replies, smiling wryly.
Sora continues conversation from there, trying every now and then to reach the topic he really wants to cover. Riku however keeps their tête-à-tête light. Sora notices that he has been purposefully steering their conversations away from any heavy topic, though he seems to be having a good time nonetheless. Eventually, the brunet gives up his attempts at prying. As the evening progresses, Sora finds himself slipping further and further into bliss. Everything is fun, endearing, and surreal. Perhaps it's just the food and the adrenaline rush from guitar hero, or the simple fact that for once in his life a night has gone according to plan, but Sora only tells himself that out of convenience and an unwillingness to think about it too deeply. He only hopes Riku will catch his animation like a fever. If misery loves company, then ecstasy must have some divine endowment.
Everything is playing in fast-forward for him. There have been so many questions in Sora's mind lately but now the answers are coming to him in acceleration. Somewhat uncharacteristically, they make him feel reckless. Of course, he wants things to get better instead of worse, which may usually imply caution, but at the same time… All he needs is dangling right in front of him, he can feel it. A feather, right on the tip of his nose, tickling it… When he tries to catch it, it slips away. A cat he is indeed, fate the owner. Sora is tiring of its games. He needs answers now. Though enjoying the ride, the moment of satisfaction looming in the future is almost too much to anticipate.
Just as Sora is about to ask Riku what is next for them on the agenda, Coach's impeccably timed voice presents itself over the intercom, informing the general populace that the dance is wrapping up. Riku frowns, glancing toward the sky; the sun is just now taking its monumental leave. How can a dance end so early? Sora, sensing Riku's thoughts, takes out his iPod; the time reads only a few minutes after 8:30 p.m.. The brunet is genuinely disappointed that the night is coming to an end. Where did the time go?
The two look at each other, a little unsure on where to go but completely assured that they don't want the night to end here.
"We didn't even dance," Sora pouts, despite the fact that he doesn't know how to dance in the first place.
Riku snorts, "Now that's something I'd like to see: you dancing."
"I'm like a ballerina!" Sora retorts, fibbing obviously. Riku chuckles and shakes his head, pausing the conversation.
After a moment of silence, Riku asks, "Do you want to go find the group?" Though his voice implies nonchalance, his face betrays his words. This, however, only encourages the brunet.
"They've probably already gone back," Sora conjectures, "to regroup. I don't see any rush…" The brunet smiles, rambling on, "It's kinda nice out here anyway."
Riku smiles back, gracefully untangling himself from the picnic table. "Let's walk around then, to let the rush pass," he suggests, walking around to meet Sora on his side.
Why didn't Sora think of that before!? Sora beams, scrambling out from the table, new schemes flooding his mind.
"Okay!"
The dance, in Riku's opinion, could not have played out any better. After all, the silveret practically went on a date with the cherub; sure it wasn't romantic but it was just the two of them. Despite the multitude of others all around them, they were alone. It really was exactly what they had needed; time together to be goofy and themselves without the baggage of publicity that their friends added (all in innocence, of course). Even aside from building their friendship, the night has been ever-building on Riku's already strong feelings for the brunet. Sora isn't just a friend, he is a companion. Sora embodies everything that the silveret desires with potential to do more than just fulfill his heart's wishes; he is hope, motivation, and as previously mentioned, the future, even if only in spirit.
That is why he couldn't let the brunet go when the dance came to a close. Every moment is precious.
They end up walking towards the track; though Riku's idea to walk around, Sora leads them there. Riku notes, with an increasing sense of curiosity, that the track is in the opposite direction of the cabins. Though unsure of Sora's sense of direction, the silveret wonders if this destination choice is deliberate, and if so, why.
"Oh hey, there's Axel and Roxas," Sora notes alertly. Riku looks along the brunet's line of sight, and indeed he spots them too. With a smirk, he recognizes a rare moment of Axel being completely bewildered; Roxas, seemingly in a rush, is dragging the redhead into the more forested side of camp. It doesn't take more than a second for them to disappear within the shadows of the trees. Riku tsks in jealousy; he can only think of a few reasons Roxas, of all people, would actively seek isolation with Axel.
Sora seems to be thinking along the same lines for when Riku turns back to his friend, he is looking away in embarrassment. Even in the dim light of the dying sunset, the silveret can see the traces of a blush on his crush's cheeks. The silveret almost feels bad for him; he is entirely convinced that Sora hadn't even begun to think about sexuality before recognizing Axel and Roxas. All the implications that go along with such a relationship must be quite a big pill to swallow for the innocent male.
It concerns Riku to see Sora concentrated as he is now, despite how beautiful he looks. His blush implies embarrassment, but his expression otherwise implies contemplation, decision-making even. Eyebrows furrowed, bottom lip tucked in to be bitten as a nervous habit, the silveret would give anything to either know what he must be thinking or to somehow replace the expression with a content one. Maybe take a picture of him before then though; his softer side can't help but appreciate moments like these where Sora is simply being Sora. Over-thinking things, trying to come to some conclusion. The brunet's analytical look on life is one of the things Riku loves about him. But, unsure of what else to do, Riku decides to start up small talk, hopefully to soothe the brunet's adorable discomfiture.
"You're going to be a senior next year right?" Riku starts, hating himself for asking such a stupid question. He is terrible at starting conversation… but, desperate times call for desperate measures, he supposes.
"Huh? Oh," Sora starts, pried from his thoughts, "Yeah. I can't wait to be done with high school. I bet you're already graduated." The brunet pouts, looking toward the silveret with a mock-glare.
"Pfft, no," Riku replies with a skeptical look, "I'm going to be a senior too, that's why I asked."
The brunet's expression brightens with a smile, turning his head to look at Riku fully in the face. "Where do you go to high school? I doubt its anywhere close to me but..." Sora shrugs in conclusion.
"Uh, good question," Riku replies, "My mom moved us. I'm not sure why." Riku rolls his eyes and sighs, suddenly craving a hair tie.
"Aww," Sora frowns, "That sucks. Senior year at a new place? That should be against the law…" Sora pauses but Riku isn't sure how to respond. He isn't used to sympathy, though it is much appreciated. Before the silveret can come up with a response that doesn't include his undying love, Sora continues, "But hey, we're the same age! I thought you'd be older."
Riku laughs, "Sora, if I were 18 I wouldn't be here."
"That… is a good point," the blue-eyed cherub replies sheepishly. It is at this time that they reach the track. The track itself is a huge oval, painted yellow and black to outline the different lanes. Inside it rests a grassy middle, presumably convertible to a football or soccer field. Though unfenced, the various trees surrounding the outside of it lends itself to an isolating atmosphere, as if the track is an entity in and of itself. Riku assumes that during the day the trees do not have such an effect, but the ever darkening sky limits their range of sight and this is just the result. The only nighttime light source he spots is a tall light pole near the starting lines on the track. The twilight has confused it, however, to merely flicker on and off until nighttime finally rests upon them.
They stop close to some benches on the east side of the track, near the inconsistent light. Instinctively Riku leans against the side of the bench, unwilling to sit, while Sora sticks near him by a tree. The silveret takes the pause in conversation to search his pockets for a hair tie. When he looks up again, hair-taming device in hand, the silveret meets Sora's vacant but direct stare. Riku quirks an eyebrow at him as he puts his hair into a ponytail, hoping that the brunet will explain without him asking directly. Luckily for him, Sora does begin speaking, but in a way that does not bring him any comfort.
"Can I ask you something weird?" His voice is strangely nervous, as if unsure of himself. Riku hopes it isn't about their conversation earlier, but due to their isolation, the silveret realizes it will be very difficult to avoid the topic if Sora wants to push it.
"Haven't you already?" Riku replies, teasing to deflect the conversation. Still, he sends Sora an inquisitive look, hopefully to assure him that the silveret isn't dismissing him. Riku watches in quiet fascination and curiosity as the brunet fidgets, obviously in conflict with himself. The silveret concludes that whatever is troubling him must come from their conversation earlier or whatever was occupying his mind when he saw Axel and Roxas entering the forest. It seems no matter what those two do, they cause trouble in some way; they hold an exhilarating but possibly bad omen to Riku. Their romantic implications seem to echo him and Sora's relationship, and yet the silveret isn't sure if the timing is too premature. He worries that it will actually repulse Sora rather than tempt him. And yet, all of this is completely out of his scope of control.
Sora laughs, though nervously. "Hah, well, uhm…" The brunet blushes a dark pink, unable to look at Riku in the eye. "I was thinking… Or wanted to ask you…" Riku waits patiently, head tilted to the side with a calm expression painted on. If Sora were to look at him closely, he'd probably see the silveret's quiet anxiety, but the brunet is too anxious himself to acknowledge it.
There is a cold moment of silence, both too afraid to speak. The light flickers on and off overhead, until finally, Sora speaks:
"Ineedyoutokissme."
If Riku were a cartoon, he'd stick his fingers in his ears and clean them out; surely he did not just hear what he thought he did. "Y-you want me to do what?" he asks, not teasing but rather genuinely inquiring out of shock.
"…No, I need you to kiss me, to find out if I'm bi or gay or whatever," Sora says, more confidently than before. The blush is still taking residence on his cheeks, and it's proving to be contagious. Riku's whole body warms in an anti-shiver, though he hopes that it doesn't show on his face.
It takes a few moments for the silveret to collect his thoughts. Though decidedly not the way he ever anticipated their first kiss to happen (if he believed it would happen at all), he cannot say that he is opposed to the idea at first glance. It's Sora after all. Riku isn't sure how to say no to him in the first place, but that's an argument for another day. The fact of the matter is, Sora's request can have some serious consequences to their relationship if Riku isn't 100% careful. Sexuality in and of itself is a touchy topic; Riku can't afford to not take Sora seriously. Pushing away the almost overwhelming temptation to dive into it now, Riku engages in a rare bout of inquisition.
"Sor… Where did this come from? Are you sure this is how you want to figure out something like this?"
Sora, though obviously uncomfortable, replies honestly, "It's the only way to find out! I mean… you're the only person I'd ever be okay with kissing me in the first place-" That statement alone causes Riku's heart to skip a beat- "and I know its…" he slows down, searching for the right word, "…safe."
If those weren't compliments, Riku isn't sure what is. He releases a breath that he didn't know he had been holding. His first question was ignored, but he lets that go for now. He thinks fast. "Sora… I am honored, I genuinely am… But I don't want to take your first kiss." Riku wants to hit himself for even hinting at denying Sora's request… And yet, he cares more about Sora's emotional (and every other kind of) safety than his personal desires.
"But it wouldn't be!" Sora blurts out. Riku is genuinely surprised, and even more confused to find that Sora looks just as confused as Riku feels.
"Would it?" Riku asks again, more for clarification than to pester to poor cherub.
Sora fidgets, unsure, "I guess so…" He looks disappointed.
Riku pushes his bangs back in vain to relieve stress. On the one hand, Sora seems to actually want this from him. On the other hand, Riku could be taking something from Sora he shouldn't. He decides to go with plain honesty, "I just don't want to do something that might hurt you later."
Sora, who is very interested in his shoes, softly smiles. "That's just it. That's why it's okay; I know you genuinely care so it's safe. I know you won't be weird about it. I mean… its just a kiss." He looks up at Riku, actually meeting his eyes for a few moments. Where on earth did this Sora come from? Did someone take his Sora and replace him? But no, this is Riku's Sora, just unusually confident.
"This is what you were thinking about earlier?" Riku asks, grimacing, stalling time.
Sora sheepishly giggles, "Ah, yeah."
"And why you lead us here?"
"No!... well, sort of. After we saw Axel and Roxas, I got the idea..."
Riku sighs in exasperation. He knew that Sora was up to something but he never would've thought it would be this. He knows God is laughing at him, surely. Riku can't decide. He wants to give in so badly. It'd be a dream come true- literally.
"…Riku, please?" Sora suddenly asks, somehow psychic to Riku's conflicted mind. That pleading voice is too much to resist. Riku looks at Sora again, probably conveying too much in one expression, but all of this is way over his head. Saying "lost in a moment" would be an understatement.
Riku shifts to stand, no longer leaning on the bench, and takes a step closer to the wide-eyed brunet. They are still about a foot apart, but the silveret is testing the boundaries. He knows when it was just them before camp started they would go as far as to cuddle, but the circumstances are different now. The silveret half-expects Sora to back down at any moment.
"…Okay," Riku agrees plainly, trying to hide emotion, "What kind of kiss are you looking for here?"
Sora's confidence wanes a little, and he fidgets. "Uh, I don't know… Just don't kiss me like I'm your mom or something. That would defeat the purpose." The teen can't bear to look into the silveret's eyes, which are boring holes into the cherub's head. He does have a valid point though.
Riku makes an executive decision. "Look at me," he says softly, and Sora complies. Riku searches his vibrant, ocean-blue eyes; they convey a mix of excitement and nervousness, but not fear. That is enough reassurance for him.
He moves slowly, dually saving the moment and still giving Sora the window of escape. He lifts a shaking hand to Sora's face, gently tilting his slender jaw up. He inches in closer, never once breaking eye contact with those bright, blue orbs. He stops just mere inches away from Sora's lips, again, waiting to see if the brunet would back out. He can't seem hide his shaky, quick breathing as he waits for some sign, though he'd give anything to appear calm. However, Riku is saved a mere millisecond later with a deliberate blink of Sora's eyes. They rest closed for a second too long and then open again, appearing a thousand times more determined than before.
"You're taking too long."
Before the whisper is fully registered in the silveret's brain, Sora's lips collide clumsily but deliberately onto his own. The instant they touch, another shiver is sent through Riku's entire body, making his hair stand on end from equal pleasure and shock. Just the joy of the event alone is enough to make his heart soar, but the sensory moment itself takes him ever higher. He remembers, though, that he should be kissing Sora, not the other way around. Fully aware that there is no going back now, he decides he will not hold back either.
Riku does many things at once. The hand that caressed the side of Sora's face moves and entangles into his those untamable brown locks, gently but firmly pressing them closer together. His other hand has similar ideas and finds its way surreptitiously to the small of Sora's back to push their bodies closer together. Even clothed, the heat coming off from them both is nearly tangible. At every place of interpersonal contact, Riku's senses are on high alert and everything feels so right it's difficult to hold onto his coherent thoughts. Most importantly though, Riku kisses back passionately, matching Sora's inexperienced open-mouthed kiss and guiding Sora into moving with him. The brunet is surprisingly malleable, lips sweetly soft while still somehow quietly demanding. Even in selfishly asking Riku for a kiss, and then stealing one from him, Sora manages to be precious in every sense of the word. Though flawed, Riku knows this is the best kiss he has ever received and given in his life.
When Riku finally pulls away, he only removes himself about two inches away from Sora, mind foggy with happiness and adrenaline. He opens his eyes, not remembering when he closed them in the first place. Sora, a full second later, sees the world again as well. His expression can only be described as amazed.
"Wow… you're really good at that," Sora whispers quietly, his voice reflecting the awe on his face.
Riku smiles, still feeling intoxicated. Without thinking, he replies cockily, "Oh, it gets better."
Sora's eyes flash curiously, his original purpose to this strange situation lost in the moment. "Show me," Sora childishly demands; if Riku were thinking clearly, he might decline but as of now he's happy to oblige.
Riku closes the distance between them again, but this time he backs Sora into the tree behind him, not trapping him there but exposing him to the feeling of being essentially thrust against a wall. It has its intended effect; upon contact Sora gasps shakily. It is quickly swallowed by their kisses again, but the sound still manages to send shivers up and down Riku's spine pleasurably.
Riku knows that they can't just "keep going", for a lack of a better term, but he wants to try one more thing before he lets the brunet go. In the miniscule pause between one kiss and the next, the silveret catches Sora's bottom lip and gently bites, letting it slip slowly from in between his teeth painlessly. Riku relishes in Sora's perfect response; the surprise of the separation instinctually causes the brunet to kiss Riku a little more aggressively, as if to say "no, don't stop yet". If Riku didn't know any better, he could have sworn he heard a slight groan from the brunet right after catching his lip as well, but he ignores it for the sake of his sanity and self-control.
After that and a few more kisses he pulls away again reluctantly, but a little farther away to give Sora space. He doesn't want the brunet to be trapped in any way; it may overwhelm him or otherwise bring up bad memories. It also gives the silveret a moment to clear his mind. The euphoria lingers in his rapidly beating heart, along his skin, and on his lips. If Sora weren't there, he'd reach up and touch his lips in amazement—but it'd have to wait.
He turns his attention back to Sora. Flushed and panting slightly, Sora looks pleasantly flustered, a mix of awe and disturbed though not necessarily in a bad way. After regaining a little composure, the brunet looks up at Riku and half-smiles from shock.
"You were very right."
"What, that it gets better?" Riku asks, fighting every urge to stroke Sora's face or something to continue the contact.
"Yeah," Sora answers, smiling more genuinely. His thoughts are returning back to earth. His eyes wander around. "Oh my gosh it's already night now."
"We've probably been out here for at least thirty minutes."
Sora looks hesitant to say it, but adds, "We should probably head back…"
Riku nods, knowing that the clock has struck twelve on their spell. "Yeah, who knows they might send a search party," the silveret agrees, joking slightly to return to normalcy.
Sora laughs. "Oh no, we'd have to lie and say we were running track or something." He begins walking back in the direction of the cabin and Riku follows by his side.
"Ha, like that cop we lied to," Riku references. He smiles in remembering. "That was priceless."
"Yeah, but terrifying!" Sora responds incredulously. "I thought we were going to get arrested for sure."
"Pfft not while I'm there. I had everything under control."
"Uh-huh, so you say."
"Aren't you the one that tells me to think more positively?"
"This is different!"
And that's how they converse until they reach the cabins. Most the lights are still on in many of them; they are equally inviting and uninviting. When they arrive at the end of the outdoor hall, they stand awkwardly at their respective doors. Riku doesn't know what to say though he has so much to say.
A rather loud bang comes out from Sora's cabin and the brunet winces. He laughs, muttering, "What was that?"
"You should probably go in there before they tear the place apart," Riku finally says, a soft smile on his lips.
"You're probably right…" Sora trails off, biting his lip, "uhm…. Thanks, Riku."
The silveret doesn't need to ask what for. Though it looks like the brunet wants to say more, Riku replies, "No problem."
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Sora inquires, smiling. The answer is obvious, but it's cute that he asks.
"Of course," Riku says, "Goodnight, Sor."
"'Night, Riku!"
And with one last mutual smile, they disappear behind their separate doors for the night.
A/N: Errrmagerd. I actually wanted another scene to be added on to this chapter, but it's taking too long for me to work on it, so I'm just posting this as a chapter. I hope you guys like it! :D It was a lot of fun for me to write, let me tell you. Two nights in a row of drinking Monster and dishing this all out. Whew.
Also, for any who were wondering, the chapter title is actually a song that I think fits this chapter. If you're interested :)
Thank you to all who are reading! I want to list you all out, but like I said I'm actually posting this in a rush. Please forgive me ;...; I'm going to keep working on the next chapter, of course, and will post ASAP!
Happy Fanficcing! AND YAY KINGDOM HEARTS 1.5 IS OUT! -happy dance-
Hannahble
