Hello people Thanks to my very good Beta TheBigCat shes wonderful please keep reading chapter 11 is already written give me some feed back and I will give you the chapter. Make sure you check out my Betas message to. Allons-y
(Hi, guys! A note from the beta here. If you've gotten this far, then you know as well as I do how much of an awesome writer DoctorWand is. And if you're a writer, you probably know how irritating it is when no one reviews for you. Just leave some comments, okay? Even a smiley face is better than nothing.)
Rose set off to find her old room. She knew it was there somewhere. She was about to ask the TARDIS for a bit of help, when it appeared before her. She stared at the purple door with her name in the centre of it for a long time. She had not seen this room since she was twenty. Was it going to be different, or the same? Would it hurt to look at the remnants of her old self?
Well, only one way to find out. She reached for the handle and the door swung open.
She stepped through the doorway. A thousand memories came to life. Her Union Jack shirt hung off the lamp, her purple blouse was in the middle of the floor, her shoes were everywhere. The room was a mess. It looked just as she had left it on that long-ago day when she had packed a bag to see her mum. The day her world had flipped upside-down.
She leaned over, picked the shirt off the floor and held it close for a moment, cherishing the good memories for a second. 'Apple grass' echoed in her head as she dropped the shirt again.
She turned toward the mirror, and pictures jumped out at her. She had forgotten about them- had made herself forget about them. There they were, at Christmas, gathered round the table. All smiling, all happy. Another shot of just the two of them- on the grass on New Earth, her arm stretched out where she could capture the moment.
She had been so happy back then, so carefree. If Rose could go back, she would tell herself to run and to run fast from the man in the picture. The man that would change everything about what she knew of love. She almost ripped the picture in half but couldn't do it. It was a reminder of what she used to be.
Instead, she started to remove them one by one and place them in a random box she found. She would have them still but not have a constant reminder of who she used to be. She shoved the box in the closet and shut the door.
Rose felt the tears falling from her face again. God, she was sick of crying but just this once she was going to let it out. It had been a rough day and it was only half done. She fell to the floor her back to the open door and sobbed. She cried for all she had lost and then found and lost again. She cried for her old mum, she sobbed for herself and the girl she used to be. But mostly she sobbed for the women she was now. The cold, angry women she had become. She hated herself, hated this new person who was her.
He had shown her the stars and then left her just like he said he wouldn't. What were his words again?
Not to you, never to you.
He had made her this person and now there was no going back. He would just have to deal with what she had become. And if he didn't like it, well then. That was too damn bad. He was stuck with her now, whether he liked it or not. She was not going anywhere; had nowhere to go anyway.
So she would stay with him on the TARDIS for forever. Well, her forever. Just not the way she had meant it originally. She would guard her heart better this time and keep it locked up tight. Her hand would not be there to hold his. She would forever keep her distance from the Time Lord and grow old with her heart never breaking again. Rose stopped crying and stood.
"Be strong Rose, be better and keep your heart close," she murmured to herself.
She gathered some of her old stuff and walked into the bathroom to get changed. She was ready for this new adventure in her life and she was going to travel the stars again. And maybe- just maybe some of the old Rose would show up again. Just like Mickey had told her once- in the TARDIS was where she belonged.
The Doctor stared at the table that Rose had just left and breathed a sigh of relief. She wanted to stay. That was good, that was a step in the right direction, even if she wanted to stay because of his ship and not him. It was a start. And she had laughed- she had really laughed. He hoped he could get her to do it again. Maybe without the tears following this time.
His Rose was still in there somewhere, he was just going to have to dig deep to bring it out. He was not giving up this time. He would show her how he felt, even if he might not be able to give her the words. He'd start off slow, of course, slow and steady. He had to build trust again.
There were so many things going through his head- places they could go, things they could see. Places where he could take her hand and just walk or- well, knowing him, run. He grinned. He could see them now- Shiver and Shake, the stuff of legends, Sir Doctor and Dame Rose running from danger across the galaxies, hands clasped together. His hearts soared with the thought.
But first he would have to get her to touch him without beating the hell out of him. That was going to be the hard part.
He removed himself from the chair and started to walk down the hall. He knew just how to start rebuilding that trust. He would apologize for everything he had done and not said. He owed her that, at least.
He stopped outside her door. The TARDIS had given Rose her room back. He glanced through the doorway and saw her sitting on the floor, knees bent up and hands covering her face. Her shoulders shook in anguish and sobs racked her body.
He wanted to gather her in his arms and take away all the pain she had to endure. But he stopped himself. She did not want him to touch her, he knew that. Her sobs slowly eased and with a few more shudders her shoulders stopped shaking she pulled a deep breath and stood tall and strong. He stepped sideways so the wall could better hide him, and heard her speak- shakily but with resolve.
"Be strong, Rose, be better and keep your heart close."
His hearts shattered once more. This was going to be the most difficult task he had ever done in over 900 years of living. Getting Rose Tyler to let go enough to love him again.
Because she had obviously stopped.
