Tissue warning...


Dean had left hours ago. The Chinese food that no one had eaten was in the trash. The dishes had been washed. The counters had been scrubbed. Meg had looked at her bed and tears slid from her eyes. The night before she'd shared that space with a wonderful man. Tonight I have no idea where he is because I chased him away. I ran. I shut him out. My fears pushed him away. This is on me. I don't know how to fix this. She backed against the wall and sank to the floor in tears. What do I do? Huge sobs wracked her body. She curled her head to her knees and wailed. "DEAN! I AM SO SORRY!" She hiccuped and coughed and she lost her breath. "Why does this hurt as much as losing him?" Hitting her head against the wall, Meg groaned. "Because I walked away. I hurt him and messed this up. It's on me this time. All day he asked me to stand up for us and I pushed him away. Then I finally ran away. It's all on me." Pushing herself up the wall, she took a deep breath. "I owe him." She scoured the house for paper and a pencil. Finally finding a notebook, she sat at the dining room table and wrote. When she was finished, she laid on the floor and fell asleep.

Dean knew he should just head straight to work. If he stopped at Meg's house, he'd be late. That was a no-brainer. He hadn't gotten much sleep after leaving her the way he had but he knew he'd been right. They needed space. They both needed to think things through. If they didn't get things ironed out now, this relationship was headed for disaster. Parking in front of the garage, he closed his door quietly. He hoped that she would be sleeping this early in the morning. Maybe he could sneak in, see that she was sleeping and ease his mind, and be on his way. That way he could focus at work… at least that's what he told himself as he eased the door open. 'We are going to talk about leaving her doors unlocked.' he told himself as he tiptoed through the kitchen. Sitting on the dining room table was a notebook. Curiosity being what it was, he picked it up to see what she'd written.

Dear Dean,
I have no idea how to start except to say I am sorry. But sorry isn't enough. It doesn't cover what
I want to say. What do I say when there aren't words?
I hurt you and caused you pain. I don't know how to fix it. You have given so much and asked for so
little in return in such a short amount of time. Where do I start? There is so much I want to say and I am afraid I won't have the chance to tell you.
Start at the beginning.
Well, at the beginning of us.
I took the boat out to prove to myself that I could do it. That I was able to be independent. I'd been working in this
house and at work, I wanted a day on the water. I told you last night that the water gives me peace. If I could manage the
boat and fish on my own it would prove something to me. It wasn't too long before the monster fish hit and
then I saw Seth's boat headed straight for me. Yes, I recognized you guys right away. I was dreading seeing you all
because, well, you know. But then you were on my boat. You were there with your arms wrapped around me
and talking into my ear. Do you remember that? Within seconds of seeing each other you had me trapped between the
steering wheel and your body. My mind was racing. Then you said you weren't helping the ex-wife of a former friend. You were
helping an old friend who was "a damn fine looking woman". Then you said that Chris might have been blind but you
weren't stupid. I was so confused. I'd come out there to assert my independence and you were getting me flustered. You
knew it. Then the sunscreen. Oh. My. You called it pampering and taking care of a friend. I was ready to explode. I could
feel you, your… excitement. I was comparing the two of you even then. You overshadowed him in every way; the care
and concern you showed for me, the way you leapt from boat to boat, the way you read my emotions… Any way that
I compared the two of you, you won. That was within hours of seeing you again. You were shaking my core, Dean. I didn't
want a new man in my life and here was someone that I'd known previously who was storming in and demanding a place. Literally.
You brought me back to my house and were the perfect gentleman. The time apart while at work had me thinking
about the time on the water and what dating you would be like. Coming home was even better than fantasy. I still had
questions, things that we need to talk about, but I'd had a taste. Sleeping in your arms, not just on the same
mattress but in your arms. It was magical. And the wake-up call… That's something a woman could get used to getting – or giving.
Working together in the house was a true definition of teamwork. Here's the thing, as I write this I realize that I needed
to extend that teamwork outside of the house.
You asked when I was going to go back to the fire house. I said I wanted us to be more solid. In order to be 'solid',
we need to exist outside of this house. That is on me. I am going to change. I am going to stand proudly
beside you as your woman. Well, as your woman if you'll still have me. I will be at the fire house for meetings
beside you. I will be on calls with you. You will cut the cars open and I will collar and treat the patients. We will be a
team. We will go to restaurants together. We will boat and fish together. I have no idea how to hunt so I will take a
hunter's safety course so you can take me hunting. We can get a dog together. I promise, Dean, I won't walk away again.
Life is full of ups and downs.
This won't be the only disagreement we have. I promise that we will handle whatever comes at us together. You said it before,
we've been friends for years. We've just altered our friendship into something more.
I promise, Dean.
I promise I will fight for us.

Dean sat the notebook back on the table and closed his eyes. He thought to himself, 'She knows how to hit the heart, doesn't she?' A sound drew his attention. Looking to the side, he could make out Meg's form lying on the couch. "Silly woman." he muttered. A few short steps had him at her side, scooping her up and carrying her up to the bedroom. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. She blinked up at him sleepily. "Shh. You need to sleep, babe. We are fine. I promise you, we are fine." A small smile crossed her face as she closed her eyes. "That's it. Go back to sleep. I will see you tonight."

"Stay." she whispered.

"I have to go to work today. I will be back tonight." he whispered before kissing her again. From the doorway he whispered something else, but Meg couldn't hear what it was.

Dean took her letter and locked the door on his way out.


A couple of good questions have been asked:

Meg is a professional EMT. She is employed by a state/county and answers 911 calls for help but has no interest in becoming a professional fire fighter. She is happy riding on the ambulance and providing medical care. For those in this service, they will understand that some professionals begin on the ambulance and progress on to the engine and ladder trucks. There is a progression from less busy stations to more busy stations. Meg enjoys her location and her job. Having a name for this area is immaterial to the story.

The fire department that Dean, Seth, Roman, etc. reference and which they want Meg to return to is a volunteer department that is in the town that they all live in. Yes, Chris is a part of this department as well.