Many thanks to my Beta TheBigCat. She does so much to make my story easy to read. truly she puts up with a lot of bad punctuation and then fix's it for you guys. Sadly a man in a blue box did not pick her up for her birthday maybe next year.

Once again thanks to all of you who have reviewed I love them I do. To all of you that have followed of favorite I love you as well. To all my readers you guys are gems.

Now if you want the next chapter its ready to go just drop me say 10 reviews and I will post early lol. if not next chapter on Sunday or Monday. One more chapter after this and we have a Jack attack hes in the next 3 chapter after 24.

Allons-y


The Game Station.

Rose's breath hitched. Was she going to see what Bad Wolf had done? What she had done? The Doctor had never told her about her time there, not once. All she had were snippets of what had gone on- very hazy memories. She remembered seeing Bad Wolf written again and again on the walls and ground, she remembered fighting with her mum, she even remembered the TARDIS dematerializing, but after that it was like a blank space existed in her mind. Because the next thing she remembered after that was waking up and her first Doctor changing on her and talking about dogs with no noses. Then this man had appeared, and her world had gone to pieces.

She started to pull away and then stopped, reminding herself she was going to really try. She had decided to be his friend again, after all.

The Doctor had felt Rose tense when the words flashed on the screen. He was taking a risk showing her this, letting her remember what she had done for him. He was pretty sure she forgot sometimes that they were the same man, big ears and him. He thought this might help her remind her of that fact and help ease her into remembering this him with less pain.

She was still hurting inside and still did not talk about it much. That first outbreak of her emotions last week was a great jumping point and her crying jags afterwards had helped; Rose had started to heal as well.

He also knew that after these memories he would be taking her to see Jack. When she had come back the last time, all she knew was that Jack had come back to life- no details.

She was going to be mad at him for not telling her. And he was beginning to think the other him had not told her much either. Or maybe he had told her things and Rose just had been too depressed to pay them any heed.

He glanced down at her. She was relaxing against him now and he felt her take a deep breath, almost like she was trying to smell him but not wanting it to be obvious. He grinned and shifted just a tiny bit and she followed him snuggling in closer to his side. His grin widened. Rose was engrossed in the memory. He turned his attention back to the screen.

His memory was at the point where he was rescuing her from the Daleks and they had just returned to the game station. He inwardly cringed at his flirting with Lynda. Rose didn't look too happy about it in the memory. He glanced at the woman in his arms. The look on her face mirrored that of the her on the screen. He had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. Lynda was sweet and he had felt bad for her. He would have let her travel with him if she had lived. Looking back at it now, he had already been trying to put distance between him and Rose. He had been so barmy and mixed up about what his feelings had been. The feelings had become easier to identify in this form. He shifted his attention once more and tensed, waiting for the reaction from Rose.

He had tricked her to entering the TARDIS and was sending her away from him to safety, giving her no choice in the matter. He knew this was one of her triggers to locking down her emotions. He let the scene play out and then stroked a gentle hand down her hair.

"Rose," he said softly. "Are you okay?"

She didn't respond for a second.

"Please look at me," he begged. She turned her head and he could see the unshed tears behind her glassy chocolate-brown eyes. He pulled back enough to grab her hand, and paused the memory.

"Tell me, Rose. What are you thinking?"

Her breathing intensified as she fought back against the emotions threatening to spill. It was her natural reaction when things got to be too much to just shut down. But his voice and the feel of his hand in hers would not let her retreat back into her shell. Instead it urged her gently to emerge from the cocoon that she always wrapped around herself.

The voice- gentle, always gentle. "Rose, talk. Remember, you felt better the last time you let it loose. It doesn't have to be a lot, but tell me what you're feeling."

"I can't," she murmured. "It hurts, oh, it hurts, Doctor." She could feel the pressure on her chest. Her legs wanted to run far, far away, but he held her firmly with his arms.

"Say it, Rose. Name the emotions. Talk about them, then let them go."

She struggled to put a name on what she was feeling. It had still been so long since she had named these emotions and faced that they were her own.

"Guilt," was, surprisingly, the first word out of her mouth.

"Okay," said the Doctor, rubbing her palm. "Why do you feel guilty?"

"If I had figured out how to get back earlier, not everybody would have died. I could have saved a few."

"First of all, Rose, you shouldn't have come back at all. It nearly killed you."

"Wish it had," she muttered under her breath.

"Secondly," he continued, pretending to not have heard her. "It was the fault of the Daleks that those people died, not yours. You did what you were supposed to do when you were meant to do it, even though it was incredibly dangerous to do so. Let it go, Rose. It wasn't your fault."

He pulled her into a tender hug, and felt the first few teardrops fall onto his shirt. "What else, Rose?"

"Anger at you for tricking me;-sadness for you making me be apart from you. I feel the sadness the most and it hurts, Doctor." The words were pouring out now. "You sent me away from you, put me on the TARDIS and then told me to have a fantastic life! But how could I, knowing you were dying and there was nothing I could do to help?"

Her voice broke there, and Rose let out a sob. The pressure on her chest began to recede. It was as if each new emotion she named made the process of naming the next easier until she released it all into tears.

She was so sick of crying all the time. But the Doctor just sat there and hugged her tightly. He handed her some tissues he had dug out of one of his pockets when she was done.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"Yes," she muttered, red in the face again at his lingering look.

"Want to watch the rest?"

Again, she said yes. Her mouth refused to form more than single syllable responses now that she had vocalized her emotions. He leaned back against the sofa and held out his arms to her.

"Why don't you lie down, Rose? Crying can take a lot out of you."

Rose slowly lay down next to him, her head not quite touching his thigh and tried to watch the memory as it started again. She turned a few times, not quite getting comfortable. She couldn't see the screen clearly and she was about to sit up again. The Doctor must have noticed her predicament because he pulled her closer and propped her head up on his legs. "Better?"

"Much."

He shot her a small smile and turned his eyes back to the screen ahead of him.

She shifted a bit to get more comfortable and once again sunk into the memory. Rose relaxed further when she felt his hand gingerly caressing her hair. She should probably have made him stop, but it felt nice. So she allowed it to happen.

They were near the end now. The Doctor knew the device was completed and he was standing there with a decision to make. Kill the Daleks and destroy the Earth, or let them win and take his fate? Coward or killer? The choice hung in the air.

Rose turned to look at the man's face above her. She had never known that he had to make this kind of choice- one of many he had made that day, some for the better and some for the worst. Sending her away was better for him but worse for her after all.

But the choice this false God was making him choose was far worse. She reached up and tapped his cheek to get him to notice her. His hands stilled in her hair, and he looked down,

"Are you okay?" she asked, suddenly realizing that these memories must be hard for him to watch. He was having to relive some of his worst nightmares to help her, to heal her. She felt another small chip fall from the wall around her heart, but ignored it for the time being.

"I'm fine Rose." His eyes told a different story, but she didn't want to ruin this moment. She had waited so long to see what she had done. Rose turned back to the screen but his hand had stopped caressing her hair. He may not want to talk about it right now but she could help relax him the way he had her. She reached up and pulled his hand back to her hair. "Don't stop."

He grinned, and started to stroke her hair again. Rose turned back to the show, and felt him slowly relax.

Just when they had were fully stress-free again, the TARDIS appeared before an astonished Doctor's eyes. The doors opened and a golden goddess stepped out. As Rose caught her first look at who the woman was, she gasped.

It was her.